All I have to say is.....
HEY! Do you want to feel 
SO ENERGETIC? Try Powerthirst! The energy drink for people who need 
GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF ENERGY! With all new flavors like
 SHOCKOLATE! Chocolate energy! It's like adding chocolate to an 
ELECTRICAL STORM! Sound the alarm! You'll be 
UNCOMFORTABLY ENERGETIC! What's that, you want strawberry? Well, how about 
RAWBERRY? Made with lightning! 
REAL LIGHTNING! 
SPORTS! ARRGH!  You'll be good at them! It's an energy drink for men! 
MENERGY! These aren't your dad's puns! These are energy puns! 
TURBOPUNS!Science, energy, science, energy, electrolytes, turbolytes, powerlytes, more lights than 
YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR! You'll be so fast, Mother Nature will be like 
SLOOOWWW DOOOWWWNNN! And you'll be like 
F*** YOU and kick her in the face with your 
ENERGY LEGS! You'll have so much energy, energy 
ARRGH, just running 
ALL THE TIME! Power running, power lifting, power sleeping, power dating, power eating, power laughing, power spawning babies! You'll have so many babies! 
400 BABIES! Give Shockolate to your babies and they'll be good at sports! Make your babies run 
ABNORMALLY FAST!They'll run as fast as 
KENYANS! People will watch them running and think they're 
KENYANS! They'll run as fast as 
KENYANS! against actual 
KENYANS! and it'll be a tie and they'll get deported back to 
KENYA! Hey, go with the sure thing, don't gamble on your energy! 
SNAKE EYES! Try Powerthirst, the energy drink that'll make you 
ARRGH! SPORTS! ARRGH!