Confessions of Ashlee: Part One FINISHED
SenkoTwiik:
Chapter 2:
The following day, Aubrey didn’t return home until about 5:30, because she had a student council meeting after school. She was the school’s vice president. I never mentioned it before, but my sister was a very good student. She liked learning and kept at least a B+ average, more often in the A range. She was also friendly, not quite popular but she got along with everyone. Teachers liked her because she was well-behaved and did very neat work, always turned in on time. She took pride in her school, and since the middle school didn’t have a cheerleading squad, she wanted to show her devotion in other ways.
She came home, cheerful as always with an “I’m home!” before her smile was quickly wiped away with a look of surprise when both mom and I stood up to meet her by the door.
“How was school, honey?” Mom asked, with a hand on her lower back, shifting her weight.
“It was good, why? What’s…what’s going on?” Aubrey answered, looking rapidly from me to my mom and back.
“How are you feeling?” Mom asked, places a hand on Aubrey’s forehead for a moment, then removing it, mentioning that it was a little warm.
“I’m a little tired. But I’m fine. Why?” Her expression became less and less relaxed and she now looked slightly panicked. Unconsciously her hand went up to fiddle with the hem of her shirt as she waited for the awkward silence to be over between us.
“Aubrey, we’re worried about you. Really worried. You’ve been so tired and sick lately and I just think that you need to open up and talk to us. What’s going on?” Mom started, trying to sound calm and sincere. She wasn’t used to doing these ‘reach out’ speeches to any of us kids, and the slowness of her speaking made it totally obvious that she was uncomfortable, not about the situation but about this little moment here.
“I’ve just been really stressed. School has had a lot of stuff going on, especially the student council, plus this whole trial with Richard coming up. Maybe it’s just PMS.” Aubrey answered, clearly looking for a way out.
“Honey I wasn’t born last night. PMS doesn’t last for a month. I have… well I’m about to have 5 kids and I think I know what may be wrong. I think you know too.”
Mom answered, once again, very calm. I think she just really wanted to be able to get through this without having to yell at Aubrey. She wanted to be more her friend than her mom at the moment, just to get the answers I demanded she needed to know.
“You told her?!” Aubrey shouted, suddenly her eyes burned into me. If looks could kill…
“Ashlee how could you?! I told you to just leave it alone! You had to get mom into it…” Her voice started to shake and I knew she was really upset, on the verge of tears. She just looked at the floor, huffing for a moment.
“Your sister was worried, that’s why she came to me. Not to get you in trouble, but to make sure that you are going to be okay. I have just been so busy I didn’t notice. But we need some clarity here. I bought you a pregnancy test at the store today. I’ll go put it in the bathroom, I want you to take it.”
Mom walked away to her room. I guess she kept the test there so that my little brother wouldn’t find it and ask questions. Right now we had nothing to worry about, because he was playing at the neighbor’s house right now.
Aubrey looked back up at me, tears in her eyes and her arms crossed.
“Really, Ashlee. Thanks, thanks a lot. I’m in the deepest crap right now and it’s because of you. If you would have just shut up when I asked you to, things would still be fine. How could you do this to me?”
I didn’t have an answer for her. She was upset and I knew nothing I could say would make her feel better right now. She just needed time to cool down and understand why I told mom. But that would have to wait because mom came back out of her room with a pink and white box in her hand, placed a hand on Aubrey’s shoulder and gently lead her to the hall bathroom, whispering a soft “Come on.”
We stopped at the door and my mom went into the bathroom, took the test out, unwrapped it and sat it on the counter, while Aubrey continued to glare at me. She then led my sister inside, told her to read through the directions carefully and then try it out. We both stepped away to wait down the hall for her.
She was in there a total of 10 minutes before mom and I decided to check on her. We went back to the door and mom lightly knocked on it.
“Aubrey, babe. Are you okay in there?”
From behind the door there came a shuffle, and then a rustle of the tissue box by the sink.
“Y-yeah…yeah I’m okay.” She definitely sounded like she had been crying, or was still crying and trying to hide it.
“Did you manage with the test?” Mom continued, urging a little more response from Aubrey.
“Just give me a minute. I’ll be right out.” A little more shuffling, sniffling, and a drop of something solid into the trash bin before the door unlocked and opened. Out came my sister, with dry, red eyes. She had spent that last minute composing herself so that hopefully we wouldn’t know she was crying. Neither of us mentioned it. Instead we pretended she looked fine.
“So, how did it go?” Mom asked, after she allowed Aubrey another moment of silence.
“Well, I did what the directions said, except they said it was supposed to be the first pee of the day, and I already went to the bathroom this morning. But I still had enough to do the test. So I did it, recapped the test and sat it flat. I waited the three minutes like they said, and a minus line is supposed to be negative…and the plus sign is a positive, like in math…or a magnet…”
I could see what she was doing. Often times when Aubrey was nervous or scared, she would blabber on about things that everybody knew about. It was obvious to her that we both knew how a pregnancy test worked, but she used her long speech to continue to try calming herself down. It seemed to work at some points, but at others her voice started to shake and she needed to pause to take a breath.
“Well? What’s the verdict?” Mom asked, still patient.
“Mom,” Aubrey started, trying to sound as mature as possible, even through her quivering lower lip. “I’m…pr…eg…nant.”
That was it. That was all the poor girl could get out before she burst into a fit of tears and sobs, quickly covering her eyes. Mom quickly hugged her shaking daughter to her and tried her best to be soothing, saying things like:
“Shhh, it’s okay.” Or “We’re going to get through this.”
But they fell deafly on Aubrey who could only keep repeating “I’m sorry” through sobs.
Katie:
Oh my god!!! that was brilliant!!! i can't even think of good words to describe it, that was fantastic!!!
Dmcclure1:
I cant wait, im starting to get attached lol.
Katie:
hurry up and post chapter three already!!! :D
SenkoTwiik:
Chapter 3:
I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I was sure that she was pregnant, but hearing the news and actually knowing wasn’t any less shocking no matter how much I tried to prep myself for it. I just thought of all people, Aubrey would be the last person I would ever suspect would get herself into this situation. She was usually so responsible and as normal as any kid her age could be. She wasn’t a drinker, she didn’t ever sneak out of the house and party, she was never in any serious trouble, she wasn’t skanky. Aubrey was both a school and family-oriented girl.
By all accounts you with think that she would be a golden child that everyone could be proud of. But she made this serious mistake. Had mom told her to stay away from Richard, she would have and this would never have happened. But like a normal kid, when mom said that something was okay, Aubrey was reassured that it really was okay.
That was how the original guilt that Aubrey felt about the unplanned pregnancy faded away. Mom told her that it was somehow okay and that she would make it through. She wasn’t mad, and she didn’t even tell Aubrey that she was disappointed. So needless to say, Aubrey eventually stopped worrying and stopped feeling bad about it. Within a week of finding out, she was looking at this less seriously than she should have been.
It was around this time that I completely lost faith in my mom. It was around this time that I realized how mentally unstable she really was. I thought, for maybe a brief moment that she wasn’t acting disappointed to keep from upsetting Aubrey any further, but the truth came out rather quickly.
One day, Aubrey was still at school helping the student council get the gym ready for the school dance that was coming up the next day, and Adam was in his room playing, so mom and I had some time to talk. Of course we got to talking about Aubrey and sometime throughout the conversation my mom just stops and suddenly says:
“Oh…my…God! I’m gonna be a grandma! That is so…wild!” She squealed, grinning wide.
She WASN’T disappointed. She wasn’t even worried about what could happen to her 13 year old daughter. She was excited! Happy as a lark! I just stared at her in shock. I couldn’t even believe she was my mother at the moment. I was suddenly so mad that I just wanted to punch her, and I might have had she not been pregnant. I mean, there was nothing that being angry at Aubrey could have solved. What’s done was done, but she could have at least showed some form of concern for her kid, and exactly HOW this was going to pan out.
“Mom! Are you kidding-What’s wrong with you?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, taken back.
“You don’t seem to get the gravity of the situation. Your daughter is only in middle school, and she is going to be a mother! Do you know what that could do to her future? Do you even care that physically she could really be screwed up from giving birth at her age? She doesn’t-She doesn’t even know how to BE a mom!”
“Jesus, chillax Ash. That’s why she has me. I’ll be able to help her get the hang of being a mother, until she has it down. It’s not like I don’t know how to do it.”
“But mom-”
Her phone rang at that moment, the musical ringtone sounded. Let the rain fall down, And wake my dreams, Let it wash away, My sanity, 'Cause I wanna feel the thunder-
“Excuse me.” She said holding up her index finger to cut me off. She walked down the hall answering the phone, hence ending our seemingly pointless conversation.
My mom was a complete moron! How on Earth was she going to teach Aubrey how to be a good mom when she didn’t even know how to be one herself? She cares more about herself than she has ever cared about her children, and it shows. She was always making me take responsibility for her actions, and I always had to babysit while she was off being more of a teenager than me. How could a woman that has zero responsibility, someone that spends more time getting her hair done than being there for us, someone that has the mind of a 12 year old teeny-bopper and is addicted to her phone possibly teach anyone to do anything more than be stupid and unbelievably immature?
Two weeks had passed since we received the news, and Aubrey had her first OBGYN appointment with Dr. Bean. Mom had to step out of the room during her exam, so that the doctor could be sure that there really was a baby in existence. The doctor was able to confirm that she was 6 weeks and 4 days along. That surprised my mom that she was this far. She asked the doctor if the pain meds Aubrey had taken a month ago could hurt the baby and the doctor said it was probably fine, and that they should have done a pregnancy test on her when she was being seen for her concussion, but that even if they had it would not have shown up yet as a positive.
Since doctors are not allowed to give moral advice, she simply stuck with the scientific part of the situation.
“In regards to Aubrey’s age and development, I want to treat this as a mildly high risk pregnancy for now. As the weeks go by we will have a little more of an idea of what we can expect. She may grow with this easily or she may become fully high risk. This may be very strenuous for her in the later months.”
The doctor asked a couple of other questions about her general feelings and health. She went over a few tips on how to deal with the fatigue and morning sickness, what kind of food she should have, all those things. She was prescribed prenatal vitamins that I picked up at the store later and made her next appointment to be back at the doctor’s office in 4 weeks. This was becoming more and more real and frightening, and I seemed to be the only one that saw that the future was not going to be all sunshine and daisies.
P.S. Hope y'all liked chapter 3. My husband is off work tomorrow and we have a busy day, so capter four may not get posted until monday, but I'll try.
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