Please help Critique?

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butterflykiss4u:
Hello I got no response last time I will try once again. Thanks in advance to anyone that helps!

Finding the Pieces of My Puzzle Chapter 6 http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=98945&asset_type=story&user_id=1898052

Arabian_Cat:
Why don't you post it here?

starlucid:
Butterfly I read chapter six have to go back and read 1-5 but from what I read it's very good loved the way you used npc in your stories I like to do that to.

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