"My Son" -- Updated 27/12/06 (CH3PII with pics) -- My first sim story!
oddball011:
Ok,ok fair enough
SimulatedDork:
I have got an update planned, but it's hard for me to take in-game pictures because Adelle (Nanna Rose) and Christian our elders now! Rose and Riley are teens and the story is only vaguely planned out: I have a breif idea of what I want to happen and I know how each character feels at the moment, but they do things, talk about things, react in such ways it surprises me. Who knows, the end result could be nothing like I planned.
Quick Q: Am I writing too much in clichés? With later parts // chapters I have done some checks and rewritten them all out, but I don't really want to touch the first one too much. Let me know what you think. And there is a slight problem occasioanally the second picture doesn't show up. Right click and select: "show picture" or refresh the page.
simtastic:
The storys good :D an like oddball i look forward to more
In my opinion the story is well written,easy to follow and understand you've done very well for a first story
SimulatedDork:
Chapter One – Part II – Childhood
(Writing as Rose Goth)
“An ‘ode’ is a sad, rememberance poem.” – Oxford Dictionary
I seemed to grow up a lot quicker then Riley. While he was being fussed over, I just sat in the corner watching it all happen. He really enjoyed his toddlerhood, I mean, he took his time growing up! But me? I couldn't. I couldn't enjoy learning to talk, or walk, knowing that Christian and sometimes even Nanna Rose thought of it as a chore! They never dared to think of training Riley as a unpleasant task. Christian even had the guts to CONGRATULATE Nanna Rose on teaching me to talk.
I don't know whether I was a difficult child or not. I had my moments, didn't we all?
As we grew up, nothing changed. Of course, we had grown out of the nursery, or at least I had. We had a small leaving party, and dressed all the toddlers up in cute party frocks.
Of course, we all know that the leaving party was really for him, it's just that they wouldn't admit it.
I didn't feel welcome...
...and I wasn't. They wouldn't admit I wasn't welcome at my own leaving party. But I didn't mind, I preferred to sit alone, anyway.
It was sad leaving, though. The Sparklepuff Daycare For Little Princesses in Training Oh and Boys Too had been my only home for seven years. Now packing our stuff and leaving without Nanna Rose or Baby Chantelle or Tot Flower just seemed odd. And to think, I was leaving home to go to "home"!
But we arrived none the less, with Riley seeming less troubled then I clearly was.
"So isn't this weird?!"
"Weird?"
"Coming home."
"No...but I will miss the nursery – and Christian. And all the games we used to play! Wasn't it fun at the nursery, Rose?"
"Yeah...fun."
Our chauffeur dropped us off outside our house – a lot seemed to have changed. There were two floors instead of four ... and the rose garden (namesake) was gone – and the wedding arch? Grandfathers wedding arch – all gone. I wildly started to panic. Where was all our stuff? Had the taxi driver been plotting our downfall? So many people - hating us, hating our wealth - why would he does this? We're just children, how would we ever find our way back home? Where the hell where we?
This isn't our house. Nothing's the same, they can't have changed this much since we last saw it...but seven years, so much could happen in seven years! I started to shiver - to panic! A burgular? What if a burgular had come? My worst fear was coming true...
"Riley! This - " I began, not knowing how to go on. But when I turned round to look at him, he was at the door of this strange, new place already. And Darren - he was hugging Darren Dreamer. Darren Dreamer? A new house...
Realisation hit me, along with a huge dollop of stupidity. Riley seemed unaffected. As always, he seemed just a step ahead of me. Which is peculiar, really it is, because to be honest: I'm the intelligent twin.
Or at least I thought I was. I really did. And I thought that was the only thing keeping me vaguely in Riley's league. I mean, I wasn't as popular as him, or as witty, but at least he wasn't as smart as me when it came to Maths or Physics. But then, one day, that too, like my father and my mother and my home, was taken away from me.
Here he is, supposedly getting "help on his homework". Notice the superficial interested look Darren is good on putting on. He's had practice. I tried talking to him about things that really concerned me, but the relationship was just so shallow. No way was I going to tell him about this Saturday...
At school, it was no different to the nursery - there was always a slight tip in the scale towards favouring Riley. And then, Mr.Buck did the unthinkable. He failed me.
That was it, me getting a D and Riley scraping by with a C++. I don't know what I had done wrong, I revised, I knew my stuff, and Latin came to me like second nature. So then why?
I cried for hours over it. Riley would chill out in reassurance, being treated for his "good grades" while I couldn't help but cry. I knew something had to change...
I hit the books more intensely then ever. I admit, I'd always been kind of a boff, and looking back, maybe I'd been a little obsessed over grades, but I did what I had to do! Every spare minute I had – I was studying. Even in my non spare time, I studied. I did become obsessed – first it started with Latin,
then progressed on to French – my accent wasn't perfect.
Or Alegebra – my petit xs and ys weren't perfectly formed.
Then I found faults in every assignment I did. Mum watched me tear page out of page of my exercise books for one ink smear, for one spelling mistake.
All because of Mr.Buck.
Notes: I hope to God the real Mr.Buck does not read this! And sorry for the crappy thought bubbles on a few of the pictures, my editing techniques are quite primative, considering I cannot have Paintshop Pro running as well as the internet. *Sigh* Again, any comments welcome. I've got the next chapter already written up + got most (if not all) the pictures taken, SHOULD be up by tomorrow! Tell a friend ;)
missd735:
Very good!! I'll be looking forward to what happens next. Keep up the good work!=)
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