ok. After much insiminating, and the VERY UNEXPECTED birth (and subsequent plastic surgery) of Kimora's triplets, we are ready to finally see what Kokoro and Kimora have been up to.
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"I've always envied you, Kokoro. You might not have realized it then, so caught up in everything that you were going through. I envied you because you were able to escape the life I live. I still envy you because the choices you have made have all been your own, because you chose what to do with your life."
17 long years had passed since the last time I saw her, and I hardly recognized the woman before me. The last time I'd seen her, she'd been no older than 10. Now, she was 27; a beautiful Geisha with sad eyes. I suddenly felt old, being faced with her youthful look. How much like my mother in appearance she was.
"For a while when I became a teenager, I contemplated getting pregnant and running away like you--"
"I didn't run away, Tomihatsu. In case you forgot, I was kicked out of the house."
She bowed politely, as she had no doubt been taught, but I could tell she still didn't agree.
"Had I abandoned my duty, my life would be my own right now. Mother loved you, you know."
"Well, she had an odd way of showing it."
"She tried to call you and make things right. You--"
"Never answered the phone. Exactly. I wasn't ready to forgive her just yet."
"But she was willing to forgive you."
"Forgive me? Ha! Wonderful little joke, Tomi, but--"
"Please. It's Tomihatsu. And Kokoro, try not to be so selfish. Yours was not the only life changed by your pregnancy."
"Oh really? From what I can tell, nothing much has changed."
"Things may appear what way to an outsider, but had you not run away--"
"For the last time, Tomihatsu, I did
not run away! Our parents kicked me out of the house!"
"My parents."
She made her point very clear. I wasn't really part of the family. I was more of a distant cousin that no one had seen for years. Yet could I blame her? I didn't ever attempt to come back. I had no reason to. Except Tomihatsu. When she was little, I called her Tomi, and she called me Koko. I found it hard to reconcile my little Tomi with this woman, the geisha Tomihatsu. No doubt she must have found it hard to reconcile her Koko with the girl who'd gone and slept with her manager. If she had been devastated then, or now, she showed no sign of it.
"You did not come to father's funeral."
"I never really knew him. It's not like he was much of a father anyway."
"You were born into a world you can never hope to understand, Kokoro. It is best that got away from it. Do not blame father if he did not love us the way Kimora's father loved them. Mother and father were betrothed, love never had anything to do woth their marriage, nor their children. In a way, they resented each other, and so father sought love in the arms of another woman."
I remained silent. I felt stupid, like I had just been scolded. Her words stung, but I was not as good at hiding my feelings as my sister way.
"You are beautiful, Tomihatsu."
"So my husband tells me. So all the men tell me."
I tried to brush a stray strand of hair out of her face, as I'd done many times when we were children, but she turned her back. I suspected she was giving me the time to do something else so we wouldn't have to face that aweful silence after rejection.
"How is your child?"
"Dionus? He's here today. Would you like to meet him?"
"No. It's best we not get involved in each other's lives. We are from two different worlds."
"Cut the crap, Tomi! You're my sister, and I love you. Forgive me for being a coward, but I was young and scared! I had no support from my family, but I'm willing to make things work. I'm willing now."
"Just as you have not forgiven mother, I have not forgiven you, Kokoro. You left without saying goodbye. It was as if you never existed. She called your people, she followed your career, hoping to get to see you and apologize. She died knowing she caused her daughter to hate her. she
died knowing she never said she was sorry."
There were no tears. She did not raise her voice. Yet, somehow, Tomihatsu's quiet resentment hurt more than being hit by a car (which did happen a few years ago. Nothing too bad). Tomihatsu began walking away, but she stopped.
"She came to the hospital to see you. It was her who left the flowers every night. Not Mr. Kamina. You just assumed they were from him. She was afraid that you'd burn them if you know they were from her."
Tomihatsu continued to walk away. Tears and dark sunglasses clouded my vision. I could faintly see her take the arm of a young man and head toward a llimo, three children in mourning kimono behind them. I had screwed up big time.
When Dionus found me, he only hugged me. He had no words for me, and I couldn't expect him to. How could I tell him that everything that happened came about because of him? if he'd never been born, who knows where I'd be.
