Is It A Miracle?updated chapter 1, 2 and 3
satsoveranddone:
dear diary
my name is sarah jane honeywell
i left collage with $20,000. i know your thinking you can get anything you want with it but i bought a house what was $7,000 and i had $13,000 left to make it the way i want it this is my new house for now
in collage i wanted to get a job in fame when i was an adult and that was what i did i start tomorow at 10 to 3 the pay is only $75 for now because im only at the bottom of the job.
for dinner i decided to have a lunch meat sandwhich
then take a nap for a while
well good night for now since its 12:00
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please tell me what you think because this is my first sim story with pictures :-P
satsoveranddone:
please comment
xHannaHx:
it's a start but if you want an opinion..this is just to make it better. not to be rude or to hurt your feelings
1. try to get close up shots. i can barely see some of those photos
2. keep walls up and plumbobs hidden. they're a real hassel. plus, does your real wall go half up and half down? lol..
3. get bigger photos. this can be done with the camera options. image quality high. photo size large.
4. try messing around with blurr or affects
5. and lastly, make updates a little longer. have more of a plot. this was the beginning but it needs to grab someone's attention
like i said. this was just constructive criticism. i don't want to make you angry. i just want to help you make your stories better..i don't write stories, i jsut read them, but most of the better stories have what i just mentioned
mintcookies123:
Besides what xHannaHx said, remember to check your capitalization, usage of words, and punctuation. Also, you need a well thought out plot. Before writing any story, you need to sit down and plan out the story; who are the characters and what are they like? What is the setting of this story? What is the theme of this story? Where do you want this story to go?
Some other comments I have are why is there a baby's room when there is no baby or partner? A lot of things in your story so far doesn't make much sense. Also, try to leave out unecessary comments or try to broaden out comments. Like for the lunch, you could have either left out that part or added something else to it like maybe Sarah had lunch with a cute guy from the welcome wagon or something like that. Just try to play it up a bit.
Finally, try to put up the graphics card to your computer's highest ability. The pictures in a sim story is a huge factor in whether someone wants to read it or not. I understand that not everyone can play with amazing graphics but try to take pictures at the highest setting possible. Believe me, I played TS2 with a horrible graphics card that made everything muddy ever since it came out in '04 until recently when I bought a new computer with a great graphics card, so I know how it feels to have bad graphics. This is all in constructive critisism and I really hope I didn't hurt your feelings. :)
satsoveranddone:
ok ill keep that in mind when i update today
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