Case 1part B Patient:
Cassandra Goth Lozario File update: Last visit ten years ago for post divorce counselling.
Reason for today's appointment: Grief counselling and relationship help.
Therapist's Notes: I had not seen Cassandra in approximately 10 years since she came to see me for divorce counselling court ordered by the judge as part of divorce procedures. I saw her for four visits as mandated and her son who was a toddler at the time was evaluated by myself as a normal quiet child. Cassandra or Cassie as she prefers to be called called the office this week and wanted to be seen as soon as possible to talk over some issues which have had her in a very confused state. The following are my notes on said visit. Hello Cassie! It was certainly a surprise to see you again after so long. How long has it been? "It's been ten years doctor. I can hardly believe it myself it's gone by so fast...."
Well what can I do for today Cassie? "Doctor honestly I never thought I would need to come back here again after my divorce I got my life in order and I thought I was doing OK. In fact I was doing OK for my son and myself.
At first I moved in with my father and his family and after awhile I got my own apartment. Don my ex-husband and I share custody of our son James who will be ten next month."
Cassie is he really going to be ten? It seems like only yesterday... "Yeah I know for me too!"
Please Cassie go on... During this time I have mostly dedicated myself to working and creating a nice home for James and myself. I hired a wonderful nanny who watches him after school until I get home. Don gets James every other weekend and Summer's so up until this point I have been caught up in the usual parental rut.
I have to admit I have been lonely. I dated briefly a very good man who has been in love with me since highschool but I ended it because I just didnt' feel any sparks.
It didn't feel fair to him or myself to force something romantic when I wasn't truly feeling it.
We still remain friends but since I broke off our relationship he sort of stopped taking my calls and avoided me. So I lost a friend.
The reason I came to see you today is I feel very torn and confused. Something happened recently that may change my life again and I need to talk about this with someone who is neutral and can help me sort through all the pro's and con's and I knew that I could do that with you Doctor."
Cassie I will be happy to help you sort out your feelings. Why don't you tell me what happened. "OK, well I was home with James. We were waiting for Don to pic him up for his weekend with his Dad. Then I got this hysterical phone call from Dina my Dad's wife. She was in the hospital with Dad he had suffered a massive heart attack and I needed to come right away.
I dropped everything and ran to the hospital. I was so scared. Dina was so crazy on the phone she had not given any details so I didn't know how serious Daddy's condition was.
When I arrived at the hospital Dina was waiting for me at the entrance since I didn't know what room Daddy was or anything.
"Oh Cassie thank god you're here! Morty's dying on me! He is in critical care Cassie! They told me to call in all his family!" Both Dina and I wept in our embrace. Daddy....dying...
"Cassie? He is in coma he hasn't woken up it's so hard...Look...The kids are in the child's playroom area right over here send James in with them so we can go in and see Morty."
Did you call Alex? Dina you have to call Alex!
"I already did he is on his way. He was at the beach house so takes awhile he should be here soon though."
"James honey? Momma needs you to be grownup now and go sit with the twins in that playroom over there. Your Granpa is sick and I have to go with your Aunt Dina and go take care of him for a bit.
Can you be a big boy for me and stay with the twins for awhile and watch them for us?"
"Don't let them leave that area and if you need anything ask the nurse to get us ok?"
"Momma? Is Granpa going to be OK?"
I'm not sure James we have to talk to his doctor first. You go James you are older than the twins so I want you to be in charge and keep them safe OK?
"Yes Momma I promise."
James went into the playroom. He was a good boy.
I watched and listened from the other side to see how the kids were holding up.
"Hi James!"
Hi Mathew! Hi Caitlin!
We have to stay here while our moms tend to granpa.
"Yeah Mom's been crying and carrying on a whole lot. She always goes crazy when Poppa even sneezes!"
"I think Poppa's got a fever cause she is really upset. I told her not to cry that Poppa just needs his shots but she wouldn't stop. James you think Poppa will be OK after his shot's?"
I don't really know Caitlin...I hope so.
"Yeah...he'll be good as new...you worry too much Caitlin!"
With that and my own broken heart I followed Dina to Daddy's room.
His appearance shocked me. He looked so pale and old. Poor Daddy..He looked like he was asleep but I could tell by his appearance he was really bad.
Dina had not exaggerated he looked like he was dying. "Dina what are his doctor's saying?
"They said that all they could do was keep him comfortable the nurse comes in and give's him morphine every few hours. His organs have shut down so there is nothing they can do.
I held my father's hand and spoke to him. "Daddy I'm here it's Cassie! I love you so much Daddy. You have been a wonderful father to me and all your children.
You never left our side even when our own mother abandoned us. You are good man Daddy. You don't have to hold on for us. We are together and we will all help take care of Dina and your babies.
So if your spirit wants to go to god it's ok...go with our love daddy....and then I broke down and Dina broke down yet again and the pain of losing my father overwhelmed me intensely.
Finally my brother got there. I was so afraid he would not get to see Daddy. While I was updating Alex on Daddy's condition. A nurse came in and checked on Daddy.
She said he could go on like this for awhile so we should probably get someone to take the children home.
Just then my cellphone went off. Ugh I had forgotten about Don picking up James.
"Cassie? I'm here in front of your apartment did you forget I was soppose to pick up James?"
I filled Don in on what was happening. He wanted to come to the hospital and pick up James but I said no to wait until the morning. I wanted to go home and get some things for him to take with him and he could pick him up early tommorow morning before I returned to the hospital.
We decided I would drop off the twins at the house they had a live-in Nanny and I would go home and get some sleep and come back first thing in the morning.
"Cassie go home I will stay here with Dina tonight that way when you come back she can go home and get some sleep."
So I went home, fed James and put him to bed. My nerves were fried. I hardly ever drink but I really needed to get some sleep so I fixed myself a brandy.
I kept going over the image of my sick dying father in that hospital bed. I must say I have never felt more sorrow than on that night. He had been feeling sick that whole week and chalked it up to the flu.
Dina had found him collapsed in the bathroom that morning and called the ambulance.
He had not been concious and she knew it was not good. Dina really did love Daddy and she was not dealing well at all. She will probably need grief therapy after the inevitable.
While my mind raced with these thoughts my doorbell rang.
I jumped it startled me. "Oh no now what? Who the hell could it be at this hour?"
It was Don. "Don? What are doing here? I told you to pick up James in the morning! He is asleep!"
"Yes Cassie I know...I came to see you. I went to the hospital and saw your Dad. I'm truly sorry Cassie Mortimer is a good person. I wanted you to know he will be missed by many people including me.
May I come in?"
Yeah...OK.
"How are you doing Cassie? Is there anything I can do for you? I want to help you in anyway possible if I can."
Don...there's nothing you can do. My father is dying there's nothing anyone can do. He is dying and his kids are first grader's they won't know what kind of man he really is because they are only babies and there is no time for them to get to know...
With that I broke down and started crying emptying out my pain. I had to be strong for Alex, for Dina, for James, for the twins Daddy would have expected me to be strong but I didn't feel strong I felt like a sad little girl with no more Daddy....
Don put his arms around me and comforted me and his touch was warm and safe and familar to me in that moment of sadness.
He spoke to me softly..."Don't cry Cassie...Don't cry baby I'm here....I love you...I have always loved you...It's going to be ok....I love you Cassie.....I love you don't cry....and in his arms I felt comforted and loved.
"Cassie let me hold you....I'm here...my love....I'm here..."
I sobbed and released my tears into Don's big strong shoulder. He continued to whisper into me ear.
"I love you Cassie, I never stopped loving you....let me hold you baby like I use to before Cassie let me love you Cassie..."
Honestly before I knew it we were kissing and touching each other all over.
Somehow within the sorrow and sadness my crazed feelings turned into a roaring passion. The more Don whispered into my ear and kissed my tears the more I wanted him!
There's one thing for sure about Don is that he doesn't miss a beat. He has impecable timing when it comes to lovemaking. I was in desperate pain and making love with Don for some crazy reason seemed like the right medicine for me at that moment.
Don is an amazing lover. When I first married him I was probably too young to appreciate his talent in that area but time makes us all grow and learn to appreciate what we no longer have.
While we kissed I could feel Don's excitement and his heart beating wildly. He picked me up and carried me over to a bar stool. He lifted me up on to the stool and stepped up his tempo and I felt myself matching his own greedy hands..
We made incredible love that night. On the barstool until it hurt.
Then he carried me over to the couch...He took off my clothes and ripped his own off quickly..
I finally stood up and gave him my hand he followed me to my bedroom were we finished what we couldn't have stopped at that point even if we tried.
I slept peacefully in the arms of the only man I have ever really loved since I was a young woman. I didn't want to think about Daddy, Dina, Alex, the twins or even James...I just wanted to be in bed with Don at that precise moment.
All other things would be there for me to deal with in the morning but this night gave me fire, Don's fire given in love for me to be able have the energy and stamina and life-force to carryon.
Making love with your true love does that it gives you fire...
A few hours later I opened my eyes. It was 4:30am. Don opened his eyes he wanted to talk..
"Cassie....I'm going to ask Nina to leave, I don't love her I never have..I have never loved any woman but you. I'm going to sue for custody of Donna Rose. Nina doesn't want her she ignores her competely. Donna Rose is practically being raised by her nanny.
"Don....my Dad is dying now...I don't have energy to give to this now. Do what you want to do. For now don't ask anything of me because I need to spread myself amoung other people who need me.
To be Continued.....
