447. Humpin' in an abandoned cabin in the woods while a supernatural killer is loose is the equivalent of bleeding while swimming with the sharks: IT AIN'T GONNA BE PRETTY!!! 448. Reading and speaking out ancient tongues from a decaying book might raise the dead and all the evil spirits of the woods. 449. If you're a prostitute or the town slut, you're screwed, and not in the way that earns you your coin or pleasure. 450. If it stars Shaq or Hannah Montana, the movie's gonna be scary, even if it's a family film. 451. Even the guy you think is gonna live winds up getting chopped in half in a swamp