Insimenator.org

from the old site, thought i'd bring it back.

today while i was in world history, i saw this thing on my teacher's desk and tought it was a electric pencil sharpener. so i get up from my desk and try to sharpen my pencil. i tell the teacher that the sharpener ain't workin, and she says "well duh, it's not working, Ryan! you're sharpening you pencil on my lamp!" i swear, i thought it was a sharpener; the head of the lamp was all the way down!

From a few years ago...

"What the hell; my jeans aren't fitting right this morning," I said to one of my roommates.
"They're on backwards, that's why," she responded. "Getting dressed while drunk has its hazards, you know."

...and which point we both broke down into a fit of laughter.

In a chat on MSN I said to a female "Who are you doing?" I meant how :P

Today I went into a gas station and asked for Marlboro 200's. The lady looked at me really funny and said, "You mean 100's?" I felt pretty stupid. I was slightly drunk so at least I have an excuse!  :p

lmfao 200's did you ask for a case of coors heavy too :P

so today in math, this one girl was in another student's seat. the teacher tells to to go back to her regular seat and the girl says she doesn't feel like moving cuz she's wearin' boots. but in my crazy little brain, i heard "boobs", and i say, very loudly, "so what? you women wear boobs everyday, that's no excuse to not move!" needless to say, the girl looked shocked and everyone around me is laughing, even the teacher!

hmm well... when I was in HS I changed schools & in the new one there was this huge body buildr/bodyguard-looking dude that everyone sad hi to but nobody really knew. He didn't talk much but when he walked by people automatically parted for him, gave up chairs...never sat in his seat or got in his way.  I thought it was like some trippy afterschool special or teen movie so it was a bit odd to me though I never really paid much attention to him.

anyhoo....I had a really horrible morning one day, ya know- woke up late, missed the bus, forgot my umbrella in torrential rain, car splashed me, fell in a HUGE puddle, tore my jeans...

So you can imagine I was not in a great mood. every thing went fine till 2 period when I came in and sat my books down and left to wring out my hair and clothes as I had raced into my first class late.  I came in and headed for my seat and for some reason Mr. Wonderful decided to forsake his normal location and pick on me.

He strode past me grabbed my stack of books and tossed them onto a chair in the front row and slammed his books down glaring at me. Apparently he decided I'd had that seat long enough.  Without even thinking I slid past him (whole class watching now...lol) picked up his books and unceremoniously tossed them clean to the other side of the classroom, the entire class gasped audibly & one girl said "OMG!"  you could have heard a pin drop.

Looking (2ft up btw) him in the eye I went back to my books all together in the chair he dropped them in and going back plunked them on my original desk, straightened my sopping wet self and, looking him square in the eye, silently dared him to touch them...roflol.  he so could have crushed me lol.

To everyones' surprise he laughed heartily and said "I like her..." and beckoned for the person next to me to move--which they did and gave him his books to boot.  He dubbed me the "Quiet Storm," and from then on people parted when I came down the halls...which was hysterical to me.


Oh, and he and I became best friends, lol.  Turns out he was just as studious as me.  He just went with how people reacted to him cause it kept people from annoying him.   Ahh well never judge a book...



Still other then walking into the mens room by mistake & then being too embarrassed to leave (another highpoint in dumbness), this seemed pretty dumb to me.

Haha! That is a great story! Nah, that wasn't dumb! I mean, well, it could've been, if he'd decided to kick your butt...but he didn't, and you two became good friends.  ;D

Today's dumb thing that I did, was in the form of a typo. Probably won't be as funny to anyone except myself and Jenna...but oh well.

I meant to type the word "surveys" but instead it ended up being "surveries".

That word now causes uncontrollable fits of laughter, at least for the two of us easily amused fools!  :p

Surveries you right.

Ahhh! Now I'm going to be laughing about that for another hour!

Sowwy. Couldn't help myself.

Uhuh. Well, just make sure you throw that word at Jenna too, next time you catch her on here spamming.

Payback for the 5 billion times she unexpectedly said it to me, and nearly caused me to spit soda all over the keyboard!   >:D

LOL, Jenna do love to spam. I can't get over that carved spam pig. THAT is funny. I'll try to remember to slip the s word on her if she and I are ever on at the same time. I keep getting interrupted by nasty old work.

Haha. Catch her by surprise!  ;D  Ugh, work. Have fun!

***Back to our normal broadcasting***

*Grumble* work is a four-letter-word.

lol! surveries 1giggle

Well, last night I was at a friend's house, and the lights were off on the middle level (he lives in a split-level home), and I forgot about the step right before the dining room, and since I was in clumsy high heels, I fell down flat on my belly, on the floor. :D I wasn't hurt or anything, just a little embarassed.

I once said to my Mom that I couldn't unscrew the light bulb and needed help, she was on the phone with my Aunt at the time and of course it became known to the entire family after that.

But in my defense, I just said it the wrong way. What I meant was the globe around the light was stuck because the screws were in the wrong way, and I did not mean the actual light bulb itself. But now I'm known as the one who can't screw in a light bulb ...  :-[

And I'm sure that's not nearly the dumbest thing I've ever said, but it's all I can remember right now.

I say some pretty weird things, on accident.

Once I told my brother he'd never be able to Peeowed in the car ewer awain. I was having some tongue twisters, lol.
And my mom handed me a lightbulb, and she asked me to screw it in, and I asked, "What lightbulb?"

And she started yelling at me about it was the one in my hand. Then I asked, "HOW?!"

I am always so confused.
Ohhh, and some things that I do dumb is I trip over EVERYTHING! Desks, my own feet, rocks, bugs, AIR!
I was jogging in gym, and I tripped over my own foot and landed on my stomach and bit my tongue open.

:(

Haha, Madi ... I'm glad I'm not the only one with light bulb issues.  ;)

And you reminded me of some dumb things I've done recently.

We were in a store, and I was holding a bag, and after about five minutes of walking around with it I was all, "Wait. How did I get this? Hey, when did someone hand me this bag??"  :rolleyes: I'd totally spaced out to the point I could not remember that someone had made me hold the bag and it took me that long to realize I actually WAS holding the bag.

Also, the other morning I went into my room and asked, "Hey, where's my pocketbook?!" to be told it was on my shoulder.

Boy, I really need to learn to be more observant.  :p

Madi, you're not the only one who trips over random stuff; i trip over my own shadow! ;)

Hah. I've had lightbulb issues myself. I once asked someone to screw in a lightbulb for me, only I accidently left out one little word. That question then took on a whole different meaning. :P

umm *raises hand sheepishly*  me too Jenna  :D

Leaving my Mum's house the other day and not wanting to leave anything behind (like I usually do) I asked her if she'd seen my glasses as I'd taken them off to wipe my eyes after chopping up some onions for her.

She looked at me as if I was bonkers and said "er ..... on your face, love"

2laugh

Hahaha. I've done that quite a few times myself, Ali. I'm always forgetting my glasses are on my face!  :p

Yeah, I've got to admit to that glasses thing too. I freak out screaming, WHERE ARE THEY?, when they're really on my face or on my head, or maybe in my hand or in front of me.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I've done that with shoes! :P

I once said, Isn't it true land floated on water?... and my friends thought I was joking.... when they realised I wasn't, they laughed so hard at me, and now whenever the subject of geography comes up they usually make jokes at my lack of geography skills, and better still when the subject of foreign countries or holidays come up they are all like nah we don't need a holiday... we'll float there eventually. I'm not sure I'll ever live that down!

Char
xxx

Ok here a lil lesson in anatomy, lol.  Years ago I had surgery which left me without control of my facial /lip muscles...(dont try to imagine it, :) ).  Overtime I slowly regained control (a year) but I had been taking a class where I was supposed to give a lecture for a grade.  Being a medical class I decided to discuss myself as a case study to avoid any awkwardness and face the situation head on. 

Anyway interesting how you need your lips to say certain words and never really realize it.  In an after lecture Q & A was asked to describe the worst part of the operation and at that point had only gained the bottom lip movement.   

Well turns out to make a "P" sound you have to bring both lips together and I could only move the bottom which only slightly raised to my teeth.  So now say this phrase with me (into a microphone) without moving your lips or teerh (except the bottom lip slightly up):

" For me the worst part of the operation was..."    and hearing it echo I held my head down and laughed as the audience did...  because it rang out so crisp and clear.

Now there's an excersize for you this evening ;).  A cookie if you can do it 1giggle

Not me, but one of my roommates the other day:

"Jenna, my bra won't fit!" she says.
Taking one look at her, I saw the obvious cause of the problem...
"That's because you're wearing it on top of your shirt, dummy."
"Oh crap," she says, turning redfaced and beating a hasty retreat.

Moral of the story? Wake up before you try to get dressed.

what im about to tell you may cause you to lose all, if any, previously held respect for me because it is so dang dumb.


My father and I were in the car, and one of my favorite Stevie Wonder songs came on, and I turned to my dad and said


"If Stevie Wonder is blind, how can he hear the songs he sings?:

 :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X

LOL GravyTrain! That's so funny, I've done that before.

This is kinda off topic, but once the teacher made a joke.

How does a man that can't speak buy sunglasses? I made it so difficult, and I got really confused, but he can just hand it to the cashier, DUH!

Then I made myself more confused, when he asked,
How does a man that is blind ask for sunglasses? I flipped out and I couldn't figure it out, but he can just say, "I would like some sunglasses." He's just blind! DUH!

Reminds me of the time I kept trying to point out a location to a blind guy.

"It's right over there," I said. "See?"

...boy did I feel stupid afterwards.

Dumbest thing I did?

Reunited with my boyfriend, lol. Back in December on new year's eve, he broke up with me. Why? He had burnt his dinner the night before and felt it was my fault. By that Monday he came to me apologizing for it. So after talking about 4 hours we decided to give it another try.

Like I said, it was a dumb move for me because tonight on Valentine's, I had wanted us to be together, to go out and have fun. He said he didn't celebrate Valentine's because he is a 'realist'. I asked him to buy me dinner instead, he said he rather cook and to be at his place at 9 pm. I get there and surprise, surprise-he's not there. At 9:30 pm he calls me and says he won't be home for another 25-30 min because he was still playing basketball with his brother. I wasn't mad at all, I tell him ok and I went and bought a burger and went to the park across the street from his place to wait. He calls around 10 to say he was home. I get there, see his car and his brother's car and knock on his door. 5 knocks and 2 minutes later he still hadn't answer his door. It was raining, not heavy but light, I already had a cold so as soon as I got home I called him. He asked if I was coming over, I told him I had been there but he didn't answer. He said why didn't I call. I said honestly, I didn't think about it since I had just gotten off the phone with you saying I was coming. He said whatever and not to call him anymore  because he doesn't believe our relationship was going to work out. Oh the irony lol!

Oh god, how that would piss me off. Stay away from him, LOL!

yep I have to raise my hand to that as the dumbest thing I've ever done as well, i.e.:  Having more then one conversation with a boneheaded ex.


1eyebrow hmmm come to think of it I don't have any ex's only Y's.... 2hmmm

I know!

But there are other things I've done that made me say, Why did I do that?

LOL for example when I was in middle school, it was pouring with rain. I had an umbrella and there were other kids with and without umbrellas. Those who had them were being asked by the kids without ones to walk them to class. There were these guys I didn't like so to avoid being asked I decided to cross the school yard. The school yard was flooded and I fell into a hole of water :mad:

I got up and everyone was laughing. I just brushed the mud off, held my head high and continued on to class ;)

*Grumble* I had alot of cigars and I feel sick now  :'( but I'll do something dumbest again  ;D

I was playing Tomb Raider, died, and out of anger yelled "sh*t me!" and Tyler[boyfriend] laughed at me. I really don't know why I said that.. just happened, and he won't ever let me let it down.

Mod Edit:
Watch the language, rachel. PG-13, remember.

on the way home from school:

dad: how was your day?
me: grr...
dad: that bad, eh?
me: *all depressed* no, everything's fine...
dad: please don't start this denying crap, again, Ryan...
me: nothing's fine!...er, everything's fine...!?

1agree :D really? wow poor you and I had a bad time amiga  2rofl

today, after the state standardized testing (which was the whole school day, 7:30-2:35) and a hour and a half nap (i finished at noon), i almost walked into the girl's restroom! thank god one of the principals was there to guide me to the boy's.... :-[

Ha ha, I'm sorry about that soulofthesea. That's the EXACT reason why I check the sign before I go in the bathroom, lol! Once I accidentally walked into the boys and when I saw guys I immediantly turned back and ran. Today we finished our testing around 1 something? I finished around 10 or 11 or something. We started at nine. I can't help that even though I TRY To go slow, I speed up and finish the test quickly and still ace it. It's weird.

Hmph, another stupid thing I did was (on a video we were watching.)in the tundra there were these giant hamster things, my friend told me what they were but I forgot, and I yelled out, "WHY THE HECK ARE MUTATED HAMSTERS IN THE TUNDRA??"
My friend elbowed me and said to shut up, that they weren't hamsters. Lol. I REALLY thought they were hamsters!! REALLY!
Ha ha ha.

Then when I was in a play in kindergarden, I was super ooper nervous and I ended up doing good, but at the end when we exited, I WALKED THE WRONG WAY! My bff Justus was going, "Madi, Madi, Madi, Madi" in a quite snappy voice, and the teacher in front of me was motioning for me to turn around, and I looked behind me and saw Justus and then ran the right way. Everyone laughed at me, and they caught it on tape and my mom and ex boyfriend KEPT IT! (We shoulda went to AFV! LOL!) Some day I'll post it on the internet and link you guys. ;)

Today at work, I got called into my supervisor's office...

"So, Jenna, have you thought over the promotion offer?" he asks me.
"Yeah, I'll take it," I replied.

...so now I'm the lead of the QA (Quality Assurance) department at work. While I should feel excited, I have this overwhelming sense of dread; like I just did something really dumb. Hah.

Ok since I've done this more that once I'm adding it to the dumb list.  Entering into an illogical debate with my spouse over the correct location for the remote control, which he keeps—next to the television 1blink .

*chuckles* I always thought inside the mailbox or under the toilet would be a better spot. 1tehe

Well I stand by my point...if I have to cross 20 feet to get the remote from beside the tv why have one?   1confuzzed

I mean If I'm already by the tv I may as well just push the dang button  >:D  it is after all called a remote--not a proximal 1giggle OKok so it's a dum pet peeve...sue me

*pokes 1poke Jenna for making me rant*   1titter

That makes no sense. Why have a remote if you have to get up and get it infront of the television? If you are at the television, just push the buttons on it. Remotes are so you don't HAVE to do that ...

I'd enter a debate over that one, too. Don't worry. LOL.

hhahah funny stories u guys

i was once trash talking my teacher
and he heard everything
including me saying, '' omg he probably still lives with his mom, and jerkkz of on redtube everyday''

trouble

Thank you, finally the voice of reason 2coffee.  I'm going to direct my spouse to this thread 1beer.


(Oooo I wouldn't want to have been in your shoes Pink 1tehe)

 1rofl you guys are killing me here! i cant stop laughing.

ok, well, #1, the test was over English/Language Arts and we had to write a compostion for that test, and apparently since writing just ain't the thing at Mayde Creek they decided to give us all day. imagine that...being locked up in one room for at least eight hours....

and #2, mind you i had just woken up from my hour and a half nap and was still half-asleep when i needed the bathroom, so my brain wasn't really functioning right 1coffee

 3thumb Recent dumbest event dreaming I was falling off a cliff and, in the process of franticly trying to save myself, rolling from the (completely safe) center of my king size bed to the edge & crashing to the floor—fits of laughter as I lay on the floor 2rofl.

this one just came back to me while the band was on a trip to Disney World (which we just got back from):

a couple years back, around June 2007, i was waiting with my brother and cousin to go on this ride called Rock N Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith. it was just me and my family, as well as my Aunt Tina, and cousins Jessica and Daniel on that trip. anyways, i was talking to Daniel and my brother while we were waiting to go into the pre-show area and i didn't hear the announcement that the automatic doors were about to open and i was standing right where they would swing by and hit someone in the face if they weren't paying attention. Daniel and my brother are kinda freaking out and saying "Ryan get outta the way! Move!" i just kinda rubbed it off and turned towards the door and SMACK! the door whacks me in the face and my nose started bleeding pretty bad. i think it bled for a good half hour after impact, but, call me crazy, i still went on the ride anyways, bloody nose and all.

i was in science class when i was 12 and we had to do some sort of experiment using different liquids
anywho
there was some bottled water on a desk that i had to test next but i looked and it had dissapeared so i asked "where's the water" in a classroom that has 43 sinks and taps in it major DUH!!!
lol

well, i tend to leave the remote in the fridge. but my brother is worse, he leaves it in the freezer. 1stupid

the lesson: get your munchies first before watching TV.

When I was doing my military training we had to stand by our beds while they were inspecting them, the lockers and the areas we had been assigned to clean. All the groups had their own rooms and in every group there were 10 people and in my platoon we were 4 groups. We stood in our room waiting for one of the officers to come and inspect our room. The walls weren’t very thick and if you talked too loud you could hear it from the corridor. I stood there by my bed and I really needed to go and pee. After a while I said “Oh come on what’s taking so long?” and it came out a bit louder than I had expected and 2 seconds later we heard a loud banging on the door and our captain came in. The one that were the leader of my group commanded us to stand at attention while the captain inspected the room. The captain came over to me and started to inspect my bed and locker and I tried to pretend like nothing had happened while the others in my group tried their best not to burst out laughing.

The captain said that my bed looked like a mess and told me to fix it even though it was nothing wrong with it. When he left we all started laughing and I kept my mouth shut for the rest of my military training. Probably doesn't sound fun but if you'd been there and knew how our captain where as a person you'd understand. He was a guy who you got scared off if he started to smile.

ouch maniac! that's gotta hurt! 1tehe

not really dumb, but it was a funny situation:

this morning, for whatever reason, this guy that i hate with a burning passion was hanging out in my first period class during the morning announcements. when we started to say the pledge, he just glared at me and suddenly gave me this stupid lecture on respecting my country in the morning (he's in this military class, ROTC). by the end of the lecture, he asked me, "so how do ya feel 'bout disrespecting your country, Ryan?!" and i said, very calmy, "know what, Kevin? go eat a pickle, cuz i don't give a crap about what you just said!" 1pickle

Lol! I've told someone to go swim in mayonnaise once. Don't mess with me!  1rock

Recently the dumbest thing I did was when I woke up to go get something to eat, and I slammed into a few doors on the way and tripped over some stuff and I was half asleep, and I ended up grabbing these green chili things instead of oranges, opened the can, took a bite, and that sure did wake me up, I was like, WTF!!!?!?!? Ha ha, never do that when you're half asleep! And I didn't notice that it was 3 a.m.

i didn't say this, but:

during chemistry yesterday, we were figuring out the calculations for our latest experiment; how many moles of sodium hydroxide it takes to neutralize 0.1 moles of hydrochloric acid. anyways, one guy shouts out, "Mrs. Answer....uh...i mean...Mrs. Kar..." poor guy turned red as hell while we all laughed at him, including Mrs. Kar. :-[

Letting two tiny monsters ( 6  & 8yrs old) scare me silly on april fools day not--once but 5 times between them.   What can I say I'm terrified of bugs... 1tehe

I shall have my revenge someday, MUaHahaHA!!!

When Dallas the TV series was popular there was a guy making western belt buckles with Scorpions in them. He payed 25 cents per Scorpian for a small one and 50 cents for a big one 5 inches or more, on a good day I could net about 10 dollars. To hunt scopians properly you tucked you jeans into your boot so that and stuff a sock in at the top so thay can't Crawl up your pants leg. I would go hunting in rocky area close to home. I got got a blister on my foot so I decided not to wear my boots. But I had got good at finding scorpians and handling them or so I though. I gently lifted a like rock were there might be one, well there were two I fixate on the big one. I thought the little one ran off to my left it did but it doubled back right up my pants leg and stung me just below my right knee. I was Sick for 3 Days it was like having the worst case of the flu you ever had..

yeah, i had a typo thing, not too long ago. i was texting one of my friends, and i meant to text "rofl", but i spelled it, "roffle" :P

When in normal conversation, I have a tendency to actually SAY "lol" and "rofl"  :p

I have the awesome super power of: I just had the remote four seconds ago, where the f*c* did it go??????

No matter what or how clean of area of the room I put it in that's what happens. It coud be sitting on the coffee table and it would go poof.

ugh. i hate it when that happens! you could be sitting on the couch and the remote's right in front of you, and all of a sudden it will go, "and now, for my next trick, i just disappeared! find me if you can!" 2laugh

Yes, but making it reappear isn't as magical and takes about twenty minutes and by that time what you wanted to watch is over. *grumbles*

I'm sure I'd forget where I put the remote if I ever watched TV.

I do however get it in my head that I'm going to do something, and by the time I've stood up, I've forgotten what it was. I'm lucky if I remember a few hours later, but mostly I just never remember.

Ooo that happens to me all the time. I've learned to always have pad and paper with me.

I don't watch TV much, it's more of when I watch a movie and want to rewind or pause or something,

Don't even get me started with remotes...1slap 1tehe


Oh man, I actually started to say "I lol'd" the other day in regular conversation.  Sure sign I've been online too much ;).

I once committed the most dreaded mistake one can ever do with a woman. An ex asked me is a particular outfit made her look chubby and I said "A lil' bit, but I like a lil' extra padding." One of the reasons she's an "ex", LMAO!!!

My friend had a mounds and an almond joy and said. "Which one do you want?" And I said " I don't know which one has the nuts in it?" Dumbest moment of my life.  :confused:

I say dumb, or at least weird things all the time... my mouth has a tendency to work faster than my brain (which has a tendency to open my mouth before it's done thinking out what to say) :-\

But the thing I remember the most, is from when I was a few years younger - I was talking to my grandmother (she was somewhere around 80 years old), and all of a sudden I bursted out: "You're lucky you still have your own teeth."
Well... she didn't...  :-\

I was working on an art project, mainly scripts for movies I want to do and when I went to staple, the stapler was empty. I refilled and pushed down on the stapler and stapled my thumb. I wanted to scream but I would have woken up my father. I was also in a manic state of being.

i know how that feels, panda. one time in third grade, the stapler wasn't working, and i thought i could fix it; i ended up stapling my thumb as well. it was no fun at all  :-\

This is slmost true of me:

Tech  support:    How may I help you?

Customer:    I'm writing my first email.

Tech  support:    OK,  and what seems to be the problem?

Customer:   Well, I have  the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it? 

I can't tell you the dumbest thing I did, just can't. But that joke is pretty close.

My bull ride


I was in Tech School and went to visit my house mate Jason family ranch. I was wearing my ropers that a brand of cowboy boots. His dad looked me over and said city slicker, I had worked in a feed lot I told him, but he told me those boots hadn’t seen an honest day’s work. I went out and mended fences with Jason. Jason dad examined our work, not bad for a city boy he told me, he was trying to get my goat.  He had a ring for breaking in horse he said you really want to show me something city boy ride that bull over there. He expected me to decline the offer, but I said what the hell I give a shot.  Jason just shook his head; you know he’s just trying to get to you. We put the riding gear on the bull the last thing you put on is a device called a cinch; this goes over the bulls male parts and real makes him mad. This is what causes him to real buck.  We cinched him up I looked him in the eye I saw hate and venom there. Jason got on his horse and his horse. To open the gate I got on with him still in the chute. He buck me off, I got back on I ready I shouted, Jason open the gate I last about two seconds. Jason dad was distracting the bull while Jason released the cinch, as I scrambled up the side of the coral. Nice try Guy Jason dad told me. Put back in the cut let me try it again. Jason dad nodded we reset the cinch I stayed on 7 seconds remember the lesson of the willow tree, flow with it. So I flowed with the bull. I won the respect of a hard working rancher, and more over I looked my bull in the eye, I took it on a challenge.   

EX:
The most recent embarrasing thing i did (TMRAT) was just now i was struggling to open the window, and my extreemly HOT neighbor saw me, and at the time i was also staring at him.

so basically you just write the most embarrasing thing you did that day, or just generally recently...

My uncle along side his wife and kids came to visit my dad. He had an acident any way before they came may slippers were ripped so I had to put on my mama's .Then my niece reminded me of putting these fem slippers. It was so acoward and embrassing.

having a cyber fight with Jenna and Padden.

We went to a Walmart supercenter today. I walked in, took one look around, and stood there gaping.

It was pretty dumb. But seriously, I'd never seen a store SO BIG!!!!!  :eek: My Dad made fun of me and told me not to get lost.  :p

Did you ever get something stuck in your head and can't seem to get rid of it? Well, somewhere out of nowhere came the thought of The Carol Burnett Show. Remember when Carol and Harvey used to do those skits of movies out of the 1940's and 50's? They kept on calling each other darling.

I walked up to Phil, gave him a hug and whispered in his ear, "my darling" Then we, um, ah, you know, kissed. He hugged back and almost turned my rib cage into bone fragments. I grabbed onto his shoulders, going, "my darling" as I was slowly sliding down. Then I grabbed onto the front of his shirt sliding down more. "Oh my darling, the darkness is slowly creeping in. Everything is getting darker and darker. Oh, my darling, I can barely see you or anything anymore."

I slid down a bit more.

"My darling, when I take my last gasp of oxygen, I want only your name to be uttered from my lips before I go."

Then I slid down to his waist.

And, gravity being what it is, his pants flew down around his ankles, and so did I.

THUD!

I just stayed right where I was and didn't move a muscle. Then, I did the only thing I could thing of doing, I screamed, "OH MY DARLING!!" He took a few steps backwards, pulled his pants up, stepped over me muttering, "God, you're a sick _____."

That is a true story!

Crying(I know big boys don't cry) when I was still a teen for things my heart kept telling me to do, but I couldn't cause my mind was trapped me in my shocking reality instead of things teen do like: sneaking out, going to prom and parties,ect...Doing things related to my age and having fun being teen not having guilt and shame of finding my independency.

LMAO!!! That's alright, I had the same reaction the 1st time I went to Amsterdam. I saw things there I can't mention here because children read this board...LMAO!!!

But I have a new one...accidentally forgetting to copy the correct link to a webpage before hitting send. I effectively sent a Rick Roll link to my entire department at work. That's gonna be fun when I go into the office on Monday...

 ;D

That's so much win, kaoz!!! Rick rolling is the best ... I hope the people at your office think so, too.  ;)

i was talking to my friend this morning and this is how the conversation went:

Me: Next time you're standing next to me on the marching field, Rachel, I'll think of you as being Stevie Nicks standing next to Mick Fleetwood. *lol, because i'm six feet tall and a whole foot taller than her*
Rachel: How can that be?  Stevie's not that tall, is she? I thought she was normal height....
Me: No, she's 5' 1". Around your height.
Rachel: She looks taller on stage.
Me: That's cuz when she's on stage, she wear six-inch patform bloots.... (it was a while before i realized what i'd said)
Rachel, Tina, and Steven: 2rofl 1rofl

To make modern Electronics you put down a layer of solder on the pads and then place componet on the solder. You do this with very precise machines. Then you melt the solder in a reflow oven.
When I was working at Nokia we had these POS reflow ovens, the ovens were made in Germany called Ersa. We had problems with the air circulation motor going out all the time, this happen in the hottest part of the ovens of coarse. I took about 2 hours to change these motor out.

So the Ersa Engineers came over from Germany to solve the problems after they had changed designs and motor manufacture and suggest 5 modification that didn't work. Well they put on the new motors on my line and assured me the factory manager and the VP of North American Operations. That this was the end all and be all fix. I was told if there were any problems with the new motors call the Ersa Engineers.

Ersa new motor it went out after 4 hours at operating temp. On one the lines that I covered then the on the next line and then started dying all over the factory.
 
Effy was new product and I was helping him setup the new line as well as covering two lines of my own.  Effy was an engineer from Isreal was talking to the Ersa Engineers from Germany. So the Ersa Engineers were installing the new motors on Effy's line. I walked up to them and siad "I thought you guys Knew how to make ovens". I got a go to hell look and realized that with Effy there it was very UN cool of me to say that to a bunch of Germany Guys.

I wouldn't know where to begin....

When typing out something to my husband years ago, I meant to type "express" but what came out and was sent was "sexpress" wow was my mind subconciously in the gutter or what?  3yay

This morning I was laying next to the kitten (Princess Leia) and she was wheezing like she does sometimes, and I told her that if I knew she was going to wheeze so much I would've named her Darth Vader.

My Mom told me I was stupid.  :p

how 'bout Darth Leia instead?

She gets called Darth Leia when she's being a brat. LOL.

alot of things...

My Dad told me the batteries were dead in the TV remote, so I got some to change them, put the new ones in, then he tried to use it and it wouldn't work. "But, they are new batteries ..." "Are you sure?" "Yes, I just took them out of the package!" "... Did you put them in the right way?" "Of course I did, what do you think I am? Stupid?" ... It turns out they were in the wrong way.

lmaoo naria...

i just called my best friend an A**HOLE for being mean to my other best friend... for no reason... he laughed... i feel put out...

I was at my orthodontist today, so he could check out my expander problem. he took one look at it and said, "Damn, Ryan. This thing looks all jacked up!" apparently, that's Dr. Schimek's word for "This is bad! We gotta take this thing out!"

Just a few seconds ago i was looking for my glasses.... There on my face. :/

lmaoo Dmcclure... (or do you prefer Dug???)

i was bored so i wrote this on my myspace>> "She's in Love With The Boy" replace Tommy and that would be da best songg EVA!!! & i think kody got scared... lmaoo that's kinda dumb...

I dont care, Doug or Dmcclure... whatever lol

lmaoo!!!

I got a list form 1st thing till infenity, got eternal time to read them?

Go for it lol

the old dummy that lived here before us put a patch of black cement in the middle of our dirt driveway  1headwall no one knows...
but anyways, coming home at 10pm in the dark i always, always always step on it, and then walk straight off with out seeeing it. lmaoo odd.... 2DOH

On time I thought that my brother was bothering me in my sleep even though he wasn't, so I yelled at him and I was filled with anger after that I went to sleep like a baby. In the morning, he told what happened and it was like me oh I would not do that, get out, I am nice.

Confusing the Sims family size limits with the birthing room limits at my hospital.

The dumbest thing I did tonight was grab the tray out of the toaster oven not realizing that it would still be very hot yet from being used and burned my finger from it causing a blister on it right away which I ripped off then so now its extra sore. :'(

(http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/maniac19642003/markspics6/e8cc73d6.jpg)

Oooooh, ouch, hon! Are you going to be OK?

 I have but one thing to say about that, maniac: yeowch!

anyways, today's dumb thing: falling down the stairs on the way to fourth period. what's worse is that the stairs were jam-packed, so I ended up getting trampled on and was late to fourth period! I'm still a little sore from it all, and, being in the band, I have to be at the town pep rally tonight! :eek:

Paden/SOTS, thanks for the concern as it does hurt yet but it is slowly healing at the moment since I'm keeping it wrapped up like this but it makes it tough to type even tho it might not look like it here. :D

Oww! Jeez that looks painful. Don't put butter on it. That doesn't help, even though my insane grandma insists it does.

It is painful Senko, I got it wrapped now w/gauze and pure aloe.

The dumbest thing I ever did was shushing Jenna :P

1titter


Ow! Maniac that hurts just looking at it, aw keep that aloe on it.  Reminds me of a similarly awful dumb thing I did years ago.

I was cooking and had a metal spoon on the side of the pot that was simmering, touching the rim of the pot.  I picked it up to stir the pot and my sis asked me a question. Turning to her I stopped to ponder her question and (don't ask why)swung the sizzling hot spoon up tapping my bottom lip as I thought.

Well, it stuck instantly which I didn't realize and of course, since it was extremely hot, I instantly yanked it back--ripping part of my bottom lip with it.  That's a pain you never forget.

This happened last night. I was in bed, tired so I wasn't functioning well. Brandon was talking about when he spoke with a deaf woman on the phone once.

Brandon: You know how that works? (referring to deaf people being able to have phone conversations)
Me: (in obvious tone) Um, they pick up the receiver and say "Hello."

Brandon just looked at me for a few seconds and it took me that long to realize what I just said and how stupid it sounded. The saying "Hello" would work, but I didn't even think of how the deaf person would hear the other person answer.

Me: Oh my God...I'm so dumb.

lol senko, that's so funny!

The other day we were at the renasance festival and this happened to my friend:

Angel: okay sure I'll try the bungie thingy.
me: okay, lets go.
so we get on the bungie thingy, and the guy starts strapping her in
Angel: **screams** oh my god oh my god!
that guy: what!? what!?
Angel: I am afraid of heights! **insert cussing here**

me:  :confused: why the heck would you get on a bungie thingy if you are afraid of heights!?!??!

do you REALIZE how STUPID that is!?

lol. nice.

so, today's game against Brenham was a major epic fail and a lot of dumb things happened, but I think the dumbest was as we were leaving the famed Alamodome, the Martinettes (our drill team) left a Martinette behind! :eek: 1blink I know this partly because someone from the Martinettes texted one of my band friends, Kat, (who is also my brother's ex) about it, and partly because I recognized the girl they left behind: my ex, Alexis!

thank god they turned around to pick her up, cuz I was about to cry if they left her there! no joke! sure she's my ex, but we're still good friends! :'(

my new dumbest>> I LEFT  MY SIMS AT HOME AND THEY ARENT INSTALLED AGAIN YET HERE!!!!!!! how stupid can I GET!?  :'( :'(

well, as of the past two weeks, my advanced classes seem to be a gold mine when it comes to dumb things being said. ah, class discussion can be a good thing, even when the teacher has their fair share of dumb remarks! :D

 :D hehe. you guys make me laugh!

Amazingly I don't do many dumb things or say many dumb things.. and its amazing because if you ever meet my family you'd understand

The dumbest thing I've recently did.. Tried to open a book.. turns out it was a box that looks like a book!

Dumbest thing I recently said.. nothing.. although my sister did say something pretty silly.
Her: You're bleeding!
Me: Yeah, I've noticed that happens when you get cut. *note the sarcasm!*

Lol, you sister is REALLY smart.

Okay, yesterday, (and some time last week) I was at Karli and Kody's house on their porch. Their dog Hooch got out, so I jumped the rail to ggo get him, but, I didn't want to cut my feet open on the rocks, so I swung my foot over to where it was on the porch, and that aporch is falling apart, and has nails sticking out of it, and I stepped on one, TWICE. really? REALLY!?

I don't have a tetnus shot either, I don't know if I ever got one.

You really should go to the doctor, especially if the nails are old and rusty. Tetanus causes lock-jaw, which can be lethal.

I probably should, but I can't anyway because I don't even have a doctor right now, my old one was a Romianian freak who is really old, and I didn't get a new one yet.

You don't have to go to a specific doctor to get a tetanus shot, silly. Just go to the town clinic, explain what happened and they will examine your foot, then give you the shot.

We don't have a town clinic, or any clinic, the only one we could find is the one my dad went to to get his arm fixed when he broke it, and they closed.

Got a hospital? Go there, they see non-emergency patients.

THEY DO!?

I recently let a five year old beat me up, and he cried when I twisted his arm a little bit...lol...

this happened last night as the Foster game during the third quarter. not really dumb, but a funny situation:

ok, so, the Mighty Ram Band's UIL competition show is entitled "Thrill Ride", right? right! and what's the name of our opener? "Roller Coaster"! so, the drum majors decided it'd be a great idea to act like we were on a roller coaster while we were in the stands. keep in mind, though that we already performed our halftime show and were still pumped that we did better this week than at the Alamodome last week. anyways, so we did the whole roller coaster thing, y'know, strapping in, going up the hill, down the hill, hitting the curves. we had such a good time, everyone in the band was laughing by the time we were done. and the looks on the Martinettes' faces were priceless, too. I looked over there (their area is right next to the band's) and I could tell they were thinking, "What the hell is wrong with the band?!"

Lol, that sounds like fun!

Okay, today I ran outside like a freak to catch Clay, and all these people sat there watching me and laughing because I was running super slow trying to "catch" him, and I was singing the bat man theme song, so I look over and Karli and Kody's dad (who already thinks I am crazy) is watcing me with this look on his face like "What is wrong with you you demented little retard!?"... lol, I was seriously laughing so hard when I saw him!

I was in a meeting with the owner of the company I work for a couple of weeks ago and she was talking about how this client calls her when they want something and then ignore her whenever she calls. I said " Oh so your like their booty call". It totally slipped out and I was pretty sure I was fired. Fortunately she didn't hear me but the other people in the room did. She couldn't figure out why the hell everyone around her was laughing. Note to self-Internal dialog should be just that, internal.

Rofl.

My friend slept over the other day, and we were sleeping outside in a tent and we could see up into the stars.
And she goes "It's late ain't it?" I said yes. Then she said "It's dark ain't it?" Again, I said yes. then she said "it's night time ain't it?" I cracked up and said "really? would never of guessed." *I use a lot of sarcasm..*

And mum got back from the stores with food shopping and me being me, asked her if the shop was open.. Anyone say blonde much?

lol, nice response on the darkness, Mad Hatter.

yesterday during lunch, we were talking about our parents, and Kathleen complimented about how nice Denise's mom was by saying, "Your mom's really nice Denise. Hard to believe you came out of her...."

OK, it wasn't really that dumb, but the way she said it was. seriously, I damn near fell out of my chair, and even had tears in my eyes, I was laughing so hard.

Lol that is SOO funny!

Not really dumb, but on my freinds part embarassing. Today on the bus my freind was listening to music and it got all quiet so I was like "Justin get your hand out of your pants!" Really loud and he didn't hear me, so he looks up and everyone's looking at him like "EWw!" It was HILARIOUS!

HAHA! That's funny!

About a week ago, my husband was talking about a famous "cat burglar" and he fully finished the story and waited for me to respond to him. I sat there for a few seconds, thinking hard, and then I asked, "Why would anyone want to steal kittens? It can't be a very high-paying industry." Brandon just looked at me for a minute, realized that I was serious, then started to laugh hysterically. When he composed himself, he had to explain to me what the term "cat burglar" really means. How was I to know?

I'd want to steal kitties! They're so cute!

Anyways, since this past Friday was the last pep rally of the year, the one for the game against Katy High School, the senior boys do this tradition called the "Powderpuff Cheerleaders". Basically, it means that the senior boys don their make-up and cheerleader outfits and do this funny skit that pokes fun of some of the organizations in the school. And some of them are some of the most unlikely people to do it; I've seen football players, swimmers, basketball players, and even a 300 pound weightlifter be a powderpuff! Well, this pep rally was probably the best they did in my three years at my school. The football and drill team skits were the funniest ones this year.

So, in their football skit, half of the Powderpuffs got into a defensive formation while the other half were in an offensive formation. When they hiked the ball, the guy playing the quaterback threw the ball about three feet away from the intended receiver's hand, almost like the way our real quaterback cost our school their games! It was funny cuz it was true!

*drill team story deleted*

EDIT: I went ahead and made everything back to annonymous, as well as deleting the whole drill team story. Not only because of my own stupidity, ignorance, and spilling the beans about everything, but because I just know that somebody's going to get offended, and I'm going to get a lot of nasty PM's and e-mails about an activity that I had no part in doing and was meant for entertainment purposes only. *sigh* Back to the corner I go. 1beat

You know, I'm not trying to raise any hackles or anything, but I'm noticing a lot of personal information that you're giving and I really think you shouldn't. Stuff like the name of your girlfriend, your school, etc. This may be a place where friends gather and such, but that doesn't mean that some not-so-kosher folks couldn't get your real life info from what you've posted, track you down and make life total hell. And before you tell me that someone wouldn't stoop so low, don't. Personal experience has taught me and others differently. Please people, better safe than sorry. Yes, totally funny story, but too much real life info was shared. Better to strike a safe balance and protect names than to let too much slip and possibly put yourself or others in danger from some sick whack job. Just sayin.

I agree with what Paden has said. We often get to know people on a first name basis here and the country they are from, but there are only a literal handful of people I know online who know my real, full name and what city I really live in. It may seem paranoid, but I personally know someone who was terrorized for more than a year by a stalker who had tracked her down online. So, having said that, I would like to urge everyone to be careful.

*Wonders about Dugg or Hannah*  I think it's safe to say that the 16 year old and 13 year old wont be stalking me, eh?

recently, or well, a month ago, I actually, quite literally fell flat on my face while playing dogdeball at school. Lol. What happened:
I went to pick up a ball and I wasn't looking at the other team and this guy Dan (whom I hold a competition with) threw the ball so hard it hit me in the shoulder and I fell face first to the ground. Thanks Dan, I appriciate that.   :rolleyes:

At school I purposely acted dumb all week (just before I got locked up in here :p ) I was walking around with a little smiley face that had a tongue on my hand, and I would walk up to people and wipe the back of my hand on them, and then be like "He licked you!" And they'd look at me like I was crazy, so I'd say "Don't look at me it was him!" and get all offended... classic.

That stirred up a memory from homecoming, which was dumb, but kinda fun.
A kid I know, who is very good at making me go all-out ballistic and nearly pass out, was being especially annoying, so I slapped him to get him to shut up (it worked) and keep in mind he has a lot of zits, so as I was walking onto the dance floor I just wiped my hand off on some random guy he looked at me and was like "what the heck?!!?" lol!

Lol. I managed to walk into my bedroom door yesterday. I was carrying a whole bundle of washing, and I couldn't see over it (damn me for being short with no shoes on, or damn my parents for leaving the washing for almost two weeks) and my sister and her friends were in the lounge and saw the whole thing.. I know have a bruised forehead. Owies.

Lol, that sounds fun...

Once while walking I caught Cory, the guy I had liked at the time's eye and literally slipped on the step and almost fell down the stairs, that was interesting.

So, obviously the Katy game was a big fail, with them clobbering us, 47-6. But what made it a fail form the start for we was, as the band was marching into the stands, which was over an hour before the game even started (band and drill team senior night). Anyways, I didn't see the drum major podium right there, and I tripped over it! Talk about uber-painful! Luckily, my uniform didn't suffer that much damage, and my clarinet, which I affectionately named "Hickory", only got some small scratches on its bell. The only one who suffered any damage was me. My elbows and knees got scrapped up pretty good, and I still have a couple of bruises on my legs from the fall.

Oh wow soul, that's amazing.

My bed is a loft bed, it's about 6 feet off the ground and I was fresking out because I had just taken my temp. and it looked almost like it said 101.something (I was right) and I was freaking out trying to look at it in the light- my window- and I was sooo close to falling off my bed so I tried to grab onto something and ended up hanging halfway off the bed with a handful of cream cheese.  :rolleyes:

Oh man! cream cheese FTW! LOL

ok, here's mine....

People think of me as the cool kid.
The one people somehow admire and think that everything I do is really cool, I don't know why...
So imagine that image - me walking around campus, trying to get to my next class. (I had like 2 hours of sleep that night)
and I was wearing sun glasses coz my eyes were so tired and boots coz... well I always wear boots and I always wear black...
-so I was walking and I get to these stairs (about four steps) I climb up (the bell rang already and I was late, there were a few people around) and the heel of my boot got caught on the last step.

BAM!

I ended up kneeling on the floor like I was waiting for salvation or divine providence or something...

-acted like nothing happened but damn that hurt! LOL
and I don't know if that spread around or not. XD

BTW, it happened two times already,
the first one was at a different school and more people and instead of stepping up, I was going down.
(I was lucky that it was the last step my boot caught on or I would have rolled down... that'll hurt really bad)

Oh yeah, I had huge bruises that covered both my knees.

Owchh Onxy... good thing not too many people saw~!

haha!
I don'y really care but I can imagine how it must have looked. :P

"cool kid is a clumsy nerd" and all that. haha!

I'm gonna feel really silly after this.

I was round at the neighbours, and they have the most adorable little girls. Four of them! Poor daddy.
And I was playing with them on the trampoline.
And I slipped..
Ended up hanging halfway off the trampoline, feet and legs on and the rest of me hanging off.
And.. my wonderful brain decides to engage itself.
"I'm upside down. How the hell did that happen?"

I was walking funny after that. It hurt.

So as I went to make coffee this morning, true to my usual, I put the grounds in the water reservoir, and tried filling the grounds basket with water. Took me a few minutes to realize what I was doing. FML.

...this is what I'm like when I haven't fully woken up. Hah.

Haha Jenna. How'd you get the grounds out of the water reservoir? I did that once when I just learned how to make coffee. The machine was old so I couldn't get the grounds out.


Today, when I put my son down for his nap, I forgot to put a Pull-Up on him under his sweats...enough said. :p

Dumbest things I've ever said where:

Ternader (Tried to say Tornado..came out like that)

Hot Tap (Tried to say Top Hat)

I know there are more..just can't think of them at the moment :P

Dumbest things I ever did where:
Hit my eye by popping off a pill bottle cap
And backed my car into a ditch ._.

Mine's removable thankfully. Can't say the same for the old one after I did the very same thing to it, though. Hah.

putting milk in the pantry and Cinnamon Toast Crunch in the fridge. :P

I've done that before too. It's an easy mistake when I'm putting groceries away.

well, that little incident happened as I was about to eat my breakfast. I was barely half-finished when I realized what happened. d'oh! 2DOH

I do stuff like that all the time. I usually catch myself though.
I ALMOST microwaved an apple and washed a bag of popcorn once. Almost, the apple was sitting on the microwave tray (it wasn't on yet), and I was about to soak the unwrapped popcorn bag. Then I noticed popcorn bags feel different than apples and caught myself.  :p
I wonder if apples explode when microwaved...

Not sure about apples but my brothers discovered that peeps did when I was little and then did it on pupose a thousand times and  they all had to wash the microwave...  :D

Yesterday my cousins and Clay and I were playing hide and seek and the neighbor screamed "They ran down the street!" So naturally I tried to move, and Connor layed down out of sight, we weren't ready yet when she came looking and she said "I can see you Katie... and Connor, wow, really laying down?" yet still we tried to hid so I walked on my knees in the dewey grass all the way to the other side of the bushes and layed down, getting soaked, and then my cousin while looking for me stepped into a huge mud puddle... nedless to say hide and seek in the dark is not smart.

hee hee hee. nice, Katie.

I tend to be a very "smart" person in such ways... lol

I fell off my dad's boat yesterday... it's in the driveway with the cover on it and during dark-hide-and-seek I hid on top of the back laying down, and we had to scream and scare the one who was it before they found you and he walked past me three times so I thought he hadn't seen me then he walked away and all of a sudden he's behind me screaming bloody murder and I got scared and fell on my butt, note to self: never hid above the ground.

owchie. :(

last night after making chicken kievs (the garlic kind) I asked my OH why did he smell like garlic...

needless to say a minute passed and i burst out laughing at my stupidity

Well umm the dumbest person I ever did was ;)

Ok.. My first trip overseas to Ireland. Walking around most
the day, checking out the sites and music stores. I notice,
and say to my friends, "Wow, they really LOVE U2 here huh?"

DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, this afternoon, I was on my way to the band hall for rehearsal, and saw who I thought was my girlfriend. I tried getting her attention, to no avail, while not looking where I was going. Needless to say, I didn't see that column right in front of me. I smacked right into the column in front of the entrance to the Performing Arts Center (PAC), in undescribable pain in my face because of my braces. Soon enough, the girl I was looking at came to my aid, and, to add salt to the wound, it wasn't my girlfriend! :-[ Wow, running into a column while getting the attention of a girl who I thought was someone else. Couldn't that have gotten any worse?

Ive looked for my 'missing' glasses .. while I was actually in fact already wearing them xD

I was talking to my friend on MSN, and this is part of our convo.

Friend: You're pretty
Me: You must be blind XP
Friend: I'm blind in one eye...

**headdesk** I didn't know :/

Wow madkitty, that's just great!

Haha, dumbest thing I have done lately:
After an extremely long argument via myspace mail:

Me: I can tell people what I want about you, none of it is anywhere near as bad as what you say about me!
Friend: No you can't, because I never told anyone that!
Me: Your kidding? Then how do people know?!
ten minutes later
Friend: Ayy... what's up?

^the thing I did stupid, was liking HIM. He's pretty dumb XD

I got a little upset because my boyfriend (who I recently got into Sims and have been his teacher with it and everything) downloaded the Awesome Mod and I didn't want it because it doesn't do the teen pregnancy and conflicts with other things... To be fair, I blame hormones and, as soon as I got upset, I hit myself and said "Are you KIDDING me?" XD

I've got a tendency to speak before I think - something that lies to the family...
I say the wrong names very often, and I've got a tendency to temporarily forget names on people close to me (like my boyfriend, or cousins, for example).
I've also managed to present myself as my mother's son once, and my father managed to present himself as my brother's mom.
My mother has a tendency to call my brother's name when she means me (our names are quite similar, so I guess it's undestandable). But she and my grandmother has several times called my aunt's name when they mean me. Our names aren't even slightly similar.  :confused:

Oh, and last weekend, I managed to slip in the stairs twice in the span of two days, hitting myself on the exact same spot (still got a huge bruise all over my butt...). One of the times, I was on my way to my room with my dinner. The genious commentary after finding myself sprawled over the bottom stairs, dinner all over the hallway, was "And that was that dinner..." Limping back up, I managed to save at least some of the food. But I can imagine it must have looked quite hilarious :-\
The first time, too. Slipping, and going BUMP BUMP BUMP "...ouch!"

For nearly a year I have been chatting with Zordac, he in Indiana, me in Hawaii. I have told him (and all of you, hence the name Angela Wallsmacker) that I have a tendency to walk into walls, quite often, unfortunately for the wall. I had the feeling he may have thought that I couldn't be doing all the crazy, clumsy things I do...(I fell into my fish pond, I slipped on my concrete patio, Tripped over cats, I got tangled up in vines and got caught on a wire fence by my shorts (all many more times than once, and that is to just mention a few things) Well, I now live with Zordac here in Indiana...and I finally walked face first into a wall and made a loud thump...fortunately he heard it (and asked if was ok  :D) at least I got that out of the way and he now knows that I truly do those things...and it won't be the last time...that I'm sure of.  ;D

While watching Star Wars Prequel Trilogy with mother-in-law and Husband, I saw Yoda and I said," Oh look! It's that little goblin guy! What's his face..Yogurt!" My husband looked at me and said," he is Yoda." I felt so bad," Well, they both star with Yo!" My husband chuckled," True. You're still silly."

I never felt so stupid in my life, I don't even know why I called him that!

Have you ever seen the Mel Brooks movie by the name of Space Balls, maybe?

I love that movie! Even though Pizza the Hut still grosses me out whenever I see him. X(

yeah I did actually, few years back. There was some one named yogurt there?  :rolleyes:

Haha, yeah, Yoda is Yogurt in that movie.

El Oh El. I see what happened here nao :lol:

*bangs head slowly and painfully on a desktop filled with carpet tacks because it feels so good when she STOPS*

Oh my gosh! Thank goodness I'm not the only one. Everytime I see Pizza the Hut, I want to throw up...especially when the robotic assistant with the Kanye West glasses starts eating him. EW!

Yeah, that is one of the nastiest things I've seen in a movie, myself! Talk about mondo-mega barfage wanting to happen when I see that...

Eurgh, same. I made the mistake of watching that movie when I had the flu. That was one of the dumbest things I've done...

I have to see this movie again, because I have no clue what is going on here o_O

Uh....does talking about Pizza the Hut count as breaking the rules of "no anything nasty"? Oops, sorry. I was thinking of the spam thread. :-[ Add that to the list of dumb things I've done, since I'm here. *walks away embarrassed*

I was talking to my boyfriend and we got onto the subject of rain (Don't ask) and I said I liked it long and hard.. I didn't realise until after about 10 minutes why he wouldn't stop laughing.

HARHAR!! I would have laughed too, that was funny!

Me-One day, I had to go to the basement for something. Now since the house is old, the basement tends to flood with sewage water. On this day I had a really bright idea-instead of putting my size 8 shoes on, I put my on my dad's size 16 workboots because they're leather or something and I thought, These are much better! Nevermind that my boots are sitting right next to his :rolleyes: I'm going downstairs and of course I trip because one of the boots came off as I was walking. I managed to save myself by jumping off the last step but right into the puddle of sewage water, ruining my brand new socks. I put the workboots back on, throw the socks in the wash, grabbed whatever it was I getting from the basement and head upstairs tripping all along the way.

My dad-this morning around 11:30 am or later, my dad was heading downstairs to work on the electrics and I say, "I'm going to cook hamburgers for lunch." My stepmom says she was cooking herself one after work and my dad tells him to cook him one since he had to leave soon. So I ask isn't it dangerous for me to be cooking while he's working on electrics. He says, "No it's safe because electricity is gas" My stepmom and I started laughing and after a minute he said he meant that the stove was gas.

Okay, this one isn't what I said, it's what my mom said.

Me and my mom were driving past McDonalds and she happened to mention how bad it is for you, and we got to talking about that case a few years back where that person sued McDonald's for "making them fat". My mom said, "God, that's stupid. No one held a gun to the guy's head and told him to eat there everyday. Letting that guy win the case was the legal system's way of enouraging people to be fat, but also to be stupid and not take any responsibility for their own actions. This is why the US is the fattest country in the world....well, maybe us or Hawaii."

I just looked at her for a sec to see if she would catch her mistake, but she didn't. So I told her, "Mom...Hawaii is a state, here in the US."

She was just like, "Oh...I forgot."

Jamie: this made me chuckle.
nikkidanielle: Happens all the time to me! XD

I was playing sims few days a go and Tybalt was being goof that he is, completely ignored my orders and walked to do something else. I start screaming at him colorfully and my husband just mumbles," I doubt he hears you..." To which I reply, "Yes he does! He doesn't have headphones on!"
H: Well maybe he doesn't, I doubt it can go through computer screen.
Me: It should! I tell him to do one thing, he does another! I said go feed your daughter!
H: You realize how silly this conversation is?
M: I find our conversation involving my favorite sims stupidity amusing. Don't you?
H: No, I think you need a brake and realize, I asked you for a cup of coffee 10 minutes ago...
M: Oh...

I'm natural blond, that's my excuse XD

I went to the funeral of my friend's dad this evening, and one of the things the family put on display outside the chapel was the "Top 5 Questions Steve Van Dyke Would Ask St. Peter at the Pearly Gates":

5. "No offense, but I don't have to wear that white, shiny dress you have to wear, right?"

4. "Do you get the Phillies' game in high-definition up here?"

3. "Do you guys eat Philly Cheesesteak and cheese pizza every day?"

2. "Can you put the Phillies' logo on my wings?"

1. "I see you have some trouble with your angels, mind if I train them?"

Yeah, in case you didn't catch it, Mr. Van Dyke was raised in Philidelphia, and he's a huge Phillies fan. :rolleyes:

soulofthesea: That's such a cool idea. I may have to do that :cool:
KyleTheArtist: Ha! That's me and family almost every night! We all play video games and we always have to repeat ourselves when talking but it's no use because we still won't listen :D

I was eating jelly before and it made farting noise as I tried to suck it in. My husband stared at me," I'm sorry, but you got me a noisy jelly..."
him: Well, that's what she said...
me: I didn't say...Oh...OH! You're just cruel...

And he laughed at me! xD

So my daughters have been driving me nuts.  They've opted lately to play with each other on the computer (i.e., disney fairies etc.,) but they tend to go into another room and call directions to each other.  Anyhow I asked my youngest one day "hey where are you headed?"  She says, "I'm going to play with my sister," then grabs her computer and heads for the living room.

So I sigh, "You know back in my day playing with your sister usually meant you were both in the same room..." (Yep, I did the back in my day thing, 1titter)

Without missing a beat her sister walks from her room grinning and says:

"Gee, mom they didn't have walkie-talkies back then? Wow, you're older then I thought."  1DOH

The little stinker. 1eyebrow

My mom and me were painting my older brothers room (he was supposed to be helping but wut eve) so we were watching whichever music awards it was that kanye west interrupted taylor swift. so lady gaga who i love was performing paparazzi and somehow the three of us got on the subject of her gender and my mom was like "ok if she has both, since she's rich why doesn't she just get it removed and just be a girl" and brother said yeah! so i responded "oh someone told me it was just a little one so it doesn't matter" i didn't realize until a few moments later why my mom was yelling and saying i was going crazy while my brother was cracking up laughing. i didn't mean it was tiny like guys are constantly worried about i just meant it was just a random appendage....smh

Please, please, please, use proper capitalization and punctuation, your post was just a wee bit hard to read without them...

rule of thumb in my house: never repeat what dad says and guess what I repeated what he said anyway.

I did something stupid on a public form and spammed too many times, hotlinked too many pictures and made the admin mad. I learned something from my experience messing up is a part of growing up.

please delete this topic

No, I'm not going to delete anything. The topic was started by someone else and many people enjoy posting in it and poking fun at themselves. If you want to go and edit out what you said, do it, but don't be surprised if people look down on you for being a chicken about leaving your mistakes to be seen by others.

My old headset is in a bad shape, and I barely get sound on one ear, if at all... So a couple of days ago, I bought myself a new headset.

The problem?

Well - first of all, the new one wasn't as comfortable as I had hoped. But I thought, hey - I can live with that. It's got sound on both the ears!!!
Then, while it was plugged into my computer, I somehow managed to stumble in the wires. And of course the wire decided to pop out of the plug... So I'm left with the headset in one hand, the plug in the other, trying to fix it. But after a few minutes, I realized there was no hope.
It's the worst buy ever. Two days after getting it, it's already unusable.
At least it wasn't very expensive. There is that...

I've stumbled in the old one before, and I have to fix the wires every time I put it on because they have to be in a special position to get sound of it, but at least it works if I'm lucky.
But I'm still going to buy a new one. One with a better plug, and which is more comfortable to wear...

And I'm going to try not to stumble in it.
Says the girl who manages to stumble in the stairs for the third time in just a few months, getting another collection of bruises... I'm clumsy, I know...

I stayed up until 1 AM on a Saturday and I got grounded for it.

You know, it's not a very good idea to publish your full name and location on a website. It can lead to problems for you later on.

When I was in 6th-7th grade, i was a really wierd person ...
I used to pick up candy *off the floor* and eat it ... certainly qualifies as dumb ... but I knew people would make (more) fun of me if they saw me do that ((so why didn't I just stop, duh!)) so I would purposely drop a pencil or something by the candy & pick them both up ...
I think I finally realized how stupid it was when I tried this while going up the stairs between classes and got run into from behind ...  :p  :p

That was 10 years ago ...

I can't think of anything specific really funny or pathetic from recently ...

However, one day at work about a month or so ago, all the soda started coming out of the fountains flat.  So I walked up to my store manager and said, "We're out of carbon dioxide."  So she's like 'what??' ... and she says to me, "That's the stuff that will kill you, you know, like in car exhaust?"  So I just started laughing at her, said, "No, actually that's carbon monoxide."
She gives me this embarassed look, and says something like, "Oops, I didn't know that ..."
She tells me, we just always call it CO2 ...
(I still call it carbon dioxide, "CO2" just sounds lazy to me ;) )

I remember maybe last summer, I woke up and was getting ready to go hang out with some friends. I looked in the mirror and was like: " oh man, i look surprisingly hot today.  ;)" (Complete with clicking my tongue and pointing my hand made into a gun in the mirror. trust me I'm never this catty.) As I walked out of my room I opened the door and hit my head on it.
Rubbing my head i said sarcastically: "ok god, I guess I deserved that." -_-

Then while walking down the stairs I slipped and fell all the way down them. This resulted in me going: "SORRY GOD.. WTF"

YEAH. I had stayed up until like 4 in the previous night (or that day). XD

lol I don't have anything to say other than OMG that is very funny and the next time I remember the dumbest thing I said and did I'll hope it sounds just as funny as that.  For real thats classic karma I see all the time in this house. lol

I never told anyone this but the dumbest thing I ever did before joining moonlightdragon was that I lost my flash drive but then I found it in my freezer. talk about your deep freeze.(rimshot)

Nice one, headcrab. 1titter

That actually happened and I was embarrassed because of it.

I'm amazed at my own brilliance at the moment. Went to go investigate a strange smell coming from the kitchen a few minutes ago, and was surprised to discover the burner on my stove was still lit, and the remnants of my homemade tomato bisque was nothing more than a thick, wretched-smelling tar-like substance. It'd been happily boiling (er, burning) away for the better part of five hours. Blech!

...burned my leftovers, destroyed the sauce pan, and filled the house with the acrid smell of burnt food! I'm a triple threat, yo! *strikes a pose*

*Applauds Jenna* Bravo! That was well done, indeed. Er ... OK, pun intended.

You know, the pan may not be totally ruined. If you put it full of water on the stove and throw in a dryer sheet and boil it for a about twenty minutes, most of the scorched junk will come off. Personal experience from former roommates that didn't know crap about cooking. It also will work on broilers, but be very sure that you scrub the crap out of it so no lingering softener remains. Bleh! (Domestic skills, I haz them. Also, make a paste out of baking soda and scrub with a Scotchbrite pad and a great deal of it will come off, too.)

I once was going upstairs for a snack, and found an empty casserole on the stove, with the temp on full. The bottom had already gone black. Isn't the first time people forgot to turn off the stove in this house, either.
We still use the casserole, though.

Another good thing for scrubbing with baking soda on glass or steel pans (NO non-stick) is wadded up tin foil. A brass bristle grill cleaning brush works well, too. Boiling water with vinegar in it for about twenty minutes is a nice trick, as well.

*writes this stuff down*

I use wadded up tinfoil and baking soda to clean my grill, and I've used the boiling vinegar trick on pots in the past. But a dryer sheet? Hah! I've never heard of that one, but given the state the pan is in, I'm willing to give it try. One less trip to replace kitchen crap is always a good thing.

Saving the money it would take to replace it is always an awesome thing, too.

"But, ma'am, I didn't make him a nerd, his mother did!"
7th year, elementary school, to the Biology professor. Got a big nice F that day  :p

Did you know I bounce when I hit the floor? Yeah.. I found that out yesterday.
I was talking to my dad about clumsy people and how they fall over anything, what did I do?
I tripped over air, hit the bottom step, bounced off the step then hit the floor..
I have about six bruises on my hips and other places.

You mean, like, today? Well, yesterday morning I fell out of bed. So, today is still in question. :D

;D LOL! Yeah, actually that happened to me last week. But, luckily, I've got a low bed, so I didn't hurt myself (too much ;) )

I fall out of my bed a lot. Normally when its hot cause I tend to sleep on the edge then.

I had a mind blank today.
I was standing outside a resturant with my dad.. and I said the first thing that popped into my head (always gets me into trouble or giggles).. I said 'I wonder where we are'. My dad couldn't stop laughing. Neither could I once I realised what I'd said

;D

This may not be the dumbest but its certainly one my husband never forgets to make fun of me for.


   1998, my second year living in an apartment with my fiancee now husband and our 2yr old son.  (yea yea thats not even the dumb part yet)  I decide to make spaghetti for dinner, and instead of adding lowry's seasoning salt to the meat, I added cinnamon.  I tried to scrape as much of it out and cover the flavor up with pepper and oregano. 
   Well I knew I wasn't going to eat it so I packed it all up for my husbands work lunch.  He gets it to work, warms it up, everyone's all OOO'ing and AHHH'ing over the huge spaghetti lunch he's got.  After eating one bite he tastes the cinnamon and couldn't choke it down, spit it right back into the container.  Now that was 10 years ago and thats the first story he tells when he's trying to make fun of my cooking.  Whatta jerk lol.  Wish I had something funnier to share but my mental harddrive just couldn't find anything better in its memory.  Darn near crashed it recalling this one lol.

 Cheers  ;D

One of the dumbest things I did was yesterday when we took my son to his school for the first time for a bit of orientation. I forgot to turn off my cell phone. Now, for some of you, this might not be a problem, but my daughter likes to send picture texts to me that are kind of rude in nature. (I, in turn, send them to Squinge and God only knows what he does with them from there. Anyhoooo...) Again, for some of you this may not pose a problem. But, lemme tell ya, it's a MASSIVE problem when your picture text alert tone screams (right in the middle of the meeting), "Welcome to f-in' Deadwood!! Can be combative." Needless to say, I have changed it to an Oompa Loompa song from the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie... NOT the one from Family Guy. :D

Oh-ho-ho! My dumbness is never so interesting, Paden.

LoL  1laugh!!!

I was at Starbucks with a few friends not too long ago, when I said, "Wow! It smells like coffee in here!" No duh! 1DOH

Me: Hey mum?
Mum: Yeah?
Me: If its 3am in London now, what time will it be in 24 hours there?
Mum: Are you serious?
Me: Yes. Why?
Mum: Think about what you just said.
Me: D'oh!

XD And then another one,
Friend: So whats the news?
Me: I'm going to be an uncle!
Friend: ....Whut?
Me: I meant I'm going to have a nephew!

Oh wow... i was laughing so hard at all these funny stories.  ;D

Ive said so many dumb things that i wouldnt even know where to begin....
One of the dumbest things ive ever done was.... i slid down my stairs in a laundry basket when i was like 5. It wasnt fun. My face hit the wall and a tooth busted my lip open. I cant remeber but the tooth might have actually gone all the way through my lip. I think it did... Sooo not fun.  Another thing i did was stand on the edge of a foot stool. I was trying to get something off/put something on the coat tree, cant remeber, i stepped on the very edge of the foot stool and i fell off it. That wouldnt have been so bad if i just fell cause i landed on my feet but the stool came up and hit me in the stomach. :( knocked the wind out of me big time. My mom found me in the living room crying while i was trying to breath... Not the best experiences... at least the foot stool was soft fabric instead of wood. That would have been so much worse....

Oh my sister has so many dumb moments.

Me: I'm buying glitter hairspray!
Sister: Where are you gonna wear that?
Me: On my hair, was that not obvious?

XD And then earlier today I asked when Friday was and my sisters fiance answered that it was generally at the end of the working week, or on a Friday.

LOL, that's funny. Though, it occurs to me (which makes it even funnier), she wanted to know if you were going to wear it at a particular place (someone's party, etc) when she asked where you were going to wear it. ;)


So, many years ago, when my sisters and I were all kids, we would go to my granny's and papa's house (my maternal grandparents) for supper. Their table wasn't big enough for everyone one to sit at, so my parents would sit at a table with Granny and Papa, along with my eldest sister, while the remaining three of us sat at another table they would set up nearby.

One time, we were all happily eating and my younger sister looked at me and asked, "Joy, whose auntie will we be?"

She asked the question fast, blending the words together so I heard, "Willwebe", as if it was some strange name. I thought she was asking about some obscure relative she had heard mentioned and wanted to know more about. I had no idea who this Willwebe person was. "I don't know. Who's she?"

Her: No, whose auntie will we be?

Me: I told you. I don't know.

This went on for a while, sounding like a bizarre version of "Whose On First". Even my mother was confused because she was hearing the same thing I was. The more often I said, "I don't know. Who?" or "Never heard of her." The more frustrated she got. Finally, just about in tears, she slammed the flat of her hand on the table and shouted, "No! Whose. Auntie. Will. We. Be."

"OH, that." I said. "I don't know, since none of us have had kids yet."

Lol Joy. I probably would've done the same thing, too, considering how I have a tendency to mishear some things.


EDIT: OK, so I want to tell you folks just how smart I am.

My dad and I have been in this little silly-string war since my graduation party. Just a few minutes ago, he surprise-attacked me, and proceeded to hide both his and my can of silly string. I searched around the house, and finally found it in the laundry bin full of clean clothes. He grabs his can, and I grab mine, but here's the best part.

I grab my can, and I aimed for my dad. However, I didn't look at where the can was aimed at, so I ended up shooting myself with silly string!!

Yeah, and he told my mom immediately afterwards, and I know she's gonna tell everyone. So much for graduating with honors! :rolleyes: