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Simmers' Paradise => Sims Stories => Topic started by: CVK418 on April 12, 2009, 05:13:43 pm



Title: Toiture' Story
Post by: CVK418 on April 12, 2009, 05:13:43 pm
my computer crashed had to reformat lost all my sims and have no idea where i got all the character custom content..sorry no more toiture story :(


Title: Re: Toiture' Story
Post by: Zorom on April 13, 2009, 07:01:01 am
WELL! It's up! Ok. If you wanna carry on the movie script way, fine, but it's a bit easier to understand if it's just normal.

Your pictures are beautiful! Type in this cheat - plumbbobtoggle off       to get rid of that green thing, works wonders. And make sure that your walls are up in every shot, kay? After all, we can't actually see through walls!  :eek: *i wish*

Your writing is great - you use great phrases. But remember, a capital letter at the start of each sentence and at the start of someone's name, and a full stop at the end of each sentence. You'll do just fine if you remember these simple rules.

Apart from that, it's perfect! I cannot WAIT for the next chapter! Well done on getting this up, by the way.  ;D I'm here waiting for your next update! :) :)


Title: Re: Toiture' Story
Post by: milie529 on April 13, 2009, 11:05:46 am
You can also count on me for the next update!  ;D I wanna know what's gonna happen with Rebecca and Joey

And I agree with Zorom. You should use the advice, it will make the story even more beautiful!


Title: Re: Toiture' Story
Post by: CVK418 on April 13, 2009, 01:25:47 pm
yay i'm so glad some people like it..sorry about the walls and plumbob and punctuation things..like i said..i'm SO new..lol..but thanks for all the tips and i'll defintly employ them in Chapter two (may be a bit longer till its up since i'm gonna have to rewrite it hehe) but thanks again and keep an eye out for my updated byee *hugs*


Title: Re: Toiture' Story
Post by: Stelio Kontos on April 13, 2009, 01:28:06 pm
You wanted to waste no time at all getting people into your story, did you?
(I have no issues with that. As a matter of fact, I like that in a way.)

Suggestions for improvements already mentioned by someone else. Walls up, plumbbobtoggle off, showheadlines off, some sentence structure modifications, and you're good to go.

All in all, a good to great start.


Title: Re: Toiture' Story
Post by: CVK418 on April 13, 2009, 02:57:31 pm
thanks!..i have some good news and i have some bad news..goodnews:i'v changed the sentence structure and writing style..buuut..badnews: i had already taken all the pictures..so the plumbobs are still there (i'll try to photoshop them out somehow) and the walls are down..its a bad habit of mine..so bear with me and i hope you like my update coming soon *crosses* fingers


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