Print Page - Confessions of Ashlee: Part One FINISHED

[Loosely] Based on a true story.

Warnings:
-Teen pregnancy
-Stressful situations
-Mentionings of inappropriate age relationship
-The legal issues that follow
-Single picture of [non-graphic] violence

Confessions of Ashlee: Introduction

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Let me introduce myself. My name is Ashlee Dawson. I’m 17, the eldest of five children and I have had to practically be “mommy” to the others from the time I was just a little girl. My mom, Nadya, was always too busy living her life for herself. She wanted to have a big family, but she wanted to be able to still act like a teenager as well. You can’t mix those two wants and have it come out right.

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She doesn’t have a career. She hasn’t worked for almost 10 years. She has been collecting disability ever since she got into a car accident and broke her hip. She says it bothers her all the time, but I’m not blind. I see my mom for what she really is, a simply lazy woman. She has enough strength to run around and have fun with friends, shop and go to salons, but her hip mysteriously hurts her when the time comes to do any work, even around the house. She sustains our household with her disability money, child support checks, and different government assistance programs. Yes, it’s embarrassing but there isn’t anything I can do about it until I move out on my own.

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I used to have a part-time job during the summer last year but it didn’t last long. My mom insisted that I quit because she ‘needed help’ with my siblings at the time: 13 year old Aubrey, 6 year old Adam and 1 year old Abbey. Being a back-up mom has really made it to where I do not want to have children of my own for a long time. As soon as Aubrey got old enough to help take care of her brother and sister, I had a dark period start in my life where I went out drinking and partying all the time. It took me some time before I realized how unfair this was to Aubrey and how I had thrown her right into the position I hated being in myself. So I soon put that irresponsible part of myself away, and promised to be a better example for my siblings, who looked up to me. Try as I did, life still took a downward turn from that point.

P.S. Mods, are the sizes of the pics okay? Photobucket either made me keep them at 300 something or change them to a bigger size, and if I wanted them a size bigger, I had to go with 640X400. I'm not sure how to get them at exactly 600.

Chapter 1:

The most stressful year of our lives started exactly a year ago. It was Saturday and I had just returned home from a day out with the love of my life, Ayah. I thought leaving my mom to take care of the other kids for 8 hours would be okay, and nothing bad would happen in that short amount of time. How wrong I was…

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Ayah and I had just said our goodbyes for the evening and I was returning home at about 6pm that day. I was planning on taking a bath and watching a movie I had just rented at the store, but when I went into my living room, I forgot all about it. What I saw horrified me and I just started screaming “Oh my God!”

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My 13 year old sister Aubrey was laying on the recliner, and her face was covered in blood. At just that quick glance I thought she was dead, and the fact that she didn’t even twitch while I was screaming my head off made me about sure she really was dead. It was awful.

Suddenly my mom came waddling out of her room as fast as she could (heavily pregnant at the time), apparently having just checked on Abbey while she napped. She got to me and grabbed onto me, shaking my shoulders and telling me to calm down. I kept telling her that Aubrey was dead.

“Aubrey is NOT dead, Ashlee. Now be quiet and let her sleep.” I just stared at my mom, waiting for some kind of an answer from her. As if reading my mind she said, “Something happened while you were out today.”
I waited, and when she didn’t say anything I shouted at her, “WHAT?! Spit it out, mom!”

“Just before noon she got a phone call saying that there was a party going on a couple of blocks away at her friend Megan’s house. It was Megan’s birthday and Aubrey wanted to go. So I said okay. She came home at about 3, looking like that and just wailing hysterically.
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I managed to get her to tell me that Richard did that to her. So I called the police as soon as she told me. I filed a report while I was in the waiting room of the hospital, after we were escorted by the police to get Aubrey checked out. They’re investigating, and hopefully arresting Richard right now.”
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To clarify things, Richard was Aubrey’s boyfriend, and her friend Megan’s older brother. I was always against their relationship because Richard was 18 years old. I thought that nothing good could come of them being together and always knew there was no way he could be sincere in dating a 13 year old when he was just out of high school. But my mom allowed it, because she met Richard and said he “seemed all right”. She had even let them go on a few dates together, unsupervised. Mom and I had gotten into a number of arguments regarding this subject before. Yeah he was still a kid and looked like he was 12, but come on! It was a bad idea.

Apparently, after being together for 3 months, Aubrey wanted end their relationship for reasons I didn’t know of at the time. Whatever reason it was, it didn’t matter to me. As soon as she told me she was going to break it off with him, I encouraged her to do so. In my eyes, she couldn’t have broke it off with him fast enough. She decided to do it next time she saw him, which was at Megan’s party. When she told him it was over, he became angry and proceeded to beat my sister senseless. She ran home as soon as she got free from his grasp, not listening to Megan’s parents who tried to get her to sit down.

The doctor told my mom that Aubrey sustained a minor concussion, but no broken bones or internal bleeding. She was badly bruised and pretty scraped up but the doctor expected her to make a speedy recovery. The reason why she didn’t move when I screamed was because they gave her medication for the pain and it made her sleep. I though sleeping was bad after receiving a concussion, but mom said the doctors said it was okay to let her sleep an hour after the injury.

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Three weeks went by, Richard was being held in jail and Aubrey’s bruising faded away, but my worry didn’t. My sister just wasn’t acting like the same person anymore, and nobody seemed to notice but me. She was constantly tired. The only time I even saw her out of bed was when she was at school. She didn’t want to eat and her face was always pale and sickly in appearance. She started throwing up even when she didn’t eat or drink, always appeared dizzy and often complained of headaches. Since nobody else was going to help, I had to talk to her, and confirm my fears.
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Me: Aubrey, I’m really worried about you.
Aubrey: Why? I’m just sick is all, sis.
Me: I wish that was it but I think something might be wrong with you.
Aubrey: Maybe I’m still just funky from the concussion.
Me: The effects of a minor concussion don’t last for a month. I think this may be more serious. It seems to me like you may be pregnant.
Aubrey: (laughing) Pregnant? I can’t be pregnant. I’m only 13!
Me: Oh wake up, Aubrey. I know you aren’t that stupid. You know how pregnancy happens. You don’t have to be some *magical* age.
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Aubrey: Ease up. I’m just saying-
Me: Did you and Richard…DO anything?
Aubrey: God, what’s with the 20 questions, Ash?
Me: Aubrey! Did you?
Aubrey: I don’t have to tell you that.
Me: He talked you into it, didn’t he? Why are you so damn naïve? Do you know that what he was doing with you is illegal? It’s statutory rape! You’re still a minor and he should be in jail for that.
Aubrey: Leave it alone. He already is in jail.
Me: For battery, not for THIS!
Aubrey: I’m not a ch-
Me: You need to tell mom.
Aubrey: NO! Just get out of my business!

As much as she got irritated at me, I knew I had to talk to my mom. When I did, I have to say I was disappointed with her. She seemed just as clueless and in denial as my sister did. Had she not been just about to pop with her 5th child at the time, I would have thought she had no idea where babies even came from. She gave me the same few answers Aubrey did, “She’s only 13!” and “Maybe she’s still funky from the concussion.” It took another screaming argument before I got her to admit, “Maybe you’re right.”
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She swore she would look into it, and would pick up a pregnancy test when she went to the store tomorrow morning.

Chapter 2:

The following day, Aubrey didn’t return home until about 5:30, because she had a student council meeting after school. She was the school’s vice president. I never mentioned it before, but my sister was a very good student. She liked learning and kept at least a B+ average, more often in the A range. She was also friendly, not quite popular but she got along with everyone. Teachers liked her because she was well-behaved and did very neat work, always turned in on time. She took pride in her school, and since the middle school didn’t have a cheerleading squad, she wanted to show her devotion in other ways.

She came home, cheerful as always with an “I’m home!” before her smile was quickly wiped away with a look of surprise when both mom and I stood up to meet her by the door.

“How was school, honey?” Mom asked, with a hand on her lower back, shifting her weight.
“It was good, why? What’s…what’s going on?” Aubrey answered, looking rapidly from me to my mom and back.
“How are you feeling?” Mom asked, places a hand on Aubrey’s forehead for a moment, then removing it, mentioning that it was a little warm.
“I’m a little tired. But I’m fine. Why?” Her expression became less and less relaxed and she now looked slightly panicked. Unconsciously her hand went up to fiddle with the hem of her shirt as she waited for the awkward silence to be over between us.
“Aubrey, we’re worried about you. Really worried. You’ve been so tired and sick lately and I just think that you need to open up and talk to us. What’s going on?” Mom started, trying to sound calm and sincere. She wasn’t used to doing these ‘reach out’ speeches to any of us kids, and the slowness of her speaking made it totally obvious that she was uncomfortable, not about the situation but about this little moment here.
“I’ve just been really stressed. School has had a lot of stuff going on, especially the student council, plus this whole trial with Richard coming up. Maybe it’s just PMS.” Aubrey answered, clearly looking for a way out.
“Honey I wasn’t born last night. PMS doesn’t last for a month. I have… well I’m about to have 5 kids and I think I know what may be wrong. I think you know too.”

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Mom answered, once again, very calm. I think she just really wanted to be able to get through this without having to yell at Aubrey. She wanted to be more her friend than her mom at the moment, just to get the answers I demanded she needed to know.
“You told her?!” Aubrey shouted, suddenly her eyes burned into me. If looks could kill…
“Ashlee how could you?! I told you to just leave it alone! You had to get mom into it…” Her voice started to shake and I knew she was really upset, on the verge of tears. She just looked at the floor, huffing for a moment.
“Your sister was worried, that’s why she came to me. Not to get you in trouble, but to make sure that you are going to be okay. I have just been so busy I didn’t notice. But we need some clarity here. I bought you a pregnancy test at the store today. I’ll go put it in the bathroom, I want you to take it.”
Mom walked away to her room. I guess she kept the test there so that my little brother wouldn’t find it and ask questions. Right now we had nothing to worry about, because he was playing at the neighbor’s house right now.

Aubrey looked back up at me, tears in her eyes and her arms crossed.
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“Really, Ashlee. Thanks, thanks a lot. I’m in the deepest crap right now and it’s because of you. If you would have just shut up when I asked you to, things would still be fine. How could you do this to me?”
I didn’t have an answer for her. She was upset and I knew nothing I could say would make her feel better right now. She just needed time to cool down and understand why I told mom. But that would have to wait because mom came back out of her room with a pink and white box in her hand, placed a hand on Aubrey’s shoulder and gently lead her to the hall bathroom, whispering a soft “Come on.”

We stopped at the door and my mom went into the bathroom, took the test out, unwrapped it and sat it on the counter, while Aubrey continued to glare at me. She then led my sister inside, told her to read through the directions carefully and then try it out. We both stepped away to wait down the hall for her.
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She was in there a total of 10 minutes before mom and I decided to check on her. We went back to the door and mom lightly knocked on it.
“Aubrey, babe. Are you okay in there?”
From behind the door there came a shuffle, and then a rustle of the tissue box by the sink.
“Y-yeah…yeah I’m okay.” She definitely sounded like she had been crying, or was still crying and trying to hide it.
“Did you manage with the test?” Mom continued, urging a little more response from Aubrey.
“Just give me a minute. I’ll be right out.” A little more shuffling, sniffling, and a drop of something solid into the trash bin before the door unlocked and opened. Out came my sister, with dry, red eyes. She had spent that last minute composing herself so that hopefully we wouldn’t know she was crying. Neither of us mentioned it. Instead we pretended she looked fine.
“So, how did it go?” Mom asked, after she allowed Aubrey another moment of silence.
“Well, I did what the directions said, except they said it was supposed to be the first pee of the day, and I already went to the bathroom this morning. But I still had enough to do the test. So I did it, recapped the test and sat it flat. I waited the three minutes like they said, and a minus line is supposed to be negative…and the plus sign is a positive, like in math…or a magnet…”
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I could see what she was doing. Often times when Aubrey was nervous or scared, she would blabber on about things that everybody knew about. It was obvious to her that we both knew how a pregnancy test worked, but she used her long speech to continue to try calming herself down. It seemed to work at some points, but at others her voice started to shake and she needed to pause to take a breath.
“Well? What’s the verdict?” Mom asked, still patient.
“Mom,” Aubrey started, trying to sound as mature as possible, even through her quivering lower lip. “I’m…pr…eg…nant.”

That was it. That was all the poor girl could get out before she burst into a fit of tears and sobs, quickly covering her eyes. Mom quickly hugged her shaking daughter to her and tried her best to be soothing, saying things like:
“Shhh, it’s okay.” Or “We’re going to get through this.”
But they fell deafly on Aubrey who could only keep repeating “I’m sorry” through sobs.

Chapter 3:

I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I was sure that she was pregnant, but hearing the news and actually knowing wasn’t any less shocking no matter how much I tried to prep myself for it. I just thought of all people, Aubrey would be the last person I would ever suspect would get herself into this situation. She was usually so responsible and as normal as any kid her age could be. She wasn’t a drinker, she didn’t ever sneak out of the house and party, she was never in any serious trouble, she wasn’t skanky. Aubrey was both a school and family-oriented girl.
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By all accounts you with think that she would be a golden child that everyone could be proud of. But she made this serious mistake. Had mom told her to stay away from Richard, she would have and this would never have happened. But like a normal kid, when mom said that something was okay, Aubrey was reassured that it really was okay.
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That was how the original guilt that Aubrey felt about the unplanned pregnancy faded away. Mom told her that it was somehow okay and that she would make it through. She wasn’t mad, and she didn’t even tell Aubrey that she was disappointed. So needless to say, Aubrey eventually stopped worrying and stopped feeling bad about it. Within a week of finding out, she was looking at this less seriously than she should have been.
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It was around this time that I completely lost faith in my mom. It was around this time that I realized how mentally unstable she really was. I thought, for maybe a brief moment that she wasn’t acting disappointed to keep from upsetting Aubrey any further, but the truth came out rather quickly.

One day, Aubrey was still at school helping the student council get the gym ready for the school dance that was coming up the next day, and Adam was in his room playing, so mom and I had some time to talk. Of course we got to talking about Aubrey and sometime throughout the conversation my mom just stops and suddenly says:

“Oh…my…God! I’m gonna be a grandma! That is so…wild!” She squealed, grinning wide.
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She WASN’T disappointed. She wasn’t even worried about what could happen to her 13 year old daughter. She was excited! Happy as a lark! I just stared at her in shock. I couldn’t even believe she was my mother at the moment. I was suddenly so mad that I just wanted to punch her, and I might have had she not been pregnant. I mean, there was nothing that being angry at Aubrey could have solved. What’s done was done, but she could have at least showed some form of concern for her kid, and exactly HOW this was going to pan out.

“Mom! Are you kidding-What’s wrong with you?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, taken back.
“You don’t seem to get the gravity of the situation. Your daughter is only in middle school, and she is going to be a mother! Do you know what that could do to her future? Do you even care that physically she could really be screwed up from giving birth at her age? She doesn’t-She doesn’t even know how to BE a mom!”
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“Jesus, chillax Ash. That’s why she has me. I’ll be able to help her get the hang of being a mother, until she has it down. It’s not like I don’t know how to do it.”
“But mom-”
Her phone rang at that moment, the musical ringtone sounded. Let the rain fall down, And wake my dreams, Let it wash away, My sanity, 'Cause I wanna feel the thunder-
“Excuse me.” She said holding up her index finger to cut me off. She walked down the hall answering the phone, hence ending our seemingly pointless conversation.
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My mom was a complete moron! How on Earth was she going to teach Aubrey how to be a good mom when she didn’t even know how to be one herself? She cares more about herself than she has ever cared about her children, and it shows. She was always making me take responsibility for her actions, and I always had to babysit while she was off being more of a teenager than me. How could a woman that has zero responsibility, someone that spends more time getting her hair done than being there for us, someone that has the mind of a 12 year old teeny-bopper and is addicted to her phone possibly teach anyone to do anything more than be stupid and unbelievably immature?
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Two weeks had passed since we received the news, and Aubrey had her first OBGYN appointment with Dr. Bean. Mom had to step out of the room during her exam, so that the doctor could be sure that there really was a baby in existence. The doctor was able to confirm that she was 6 weeks and 4 days along. That surprised my mom that she was this far. She asked the doctor if the pain meds Aubrey had taken a month ago could hurt the baby and the doctor said it was probably fine, and that they should have done a pregnancy test on her when she was being seen for her concussion, but that even if they had it would not have shown up yet as a positive.
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Since doctors are not allowed to give moral advice, she simply stuck with the scientific part of the situation.

“In regards to Aubrey’s age and development, I want to treat this as a mildly high risk pregnancy for now. As the weeks go by we will have a little more of an idea of what we can expect. She may grow with this easily or she may become fully high risk. This may be very strenuous for her in the later months.”
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The doctor asked a couple of other questions about her general feelings and health. She went over a few tips on how to deal with the fatigue and morning sickness, what kind of food she should have, all those things. She was prescribed prenatal vitamins that I picked up at the store later and made her next appointment to be back at the doctor’s office in 4 weeks. This was becoming more and more real and frightening, and I seemed to be the only one that saw that the future was not going to be all sunshine and daisies.

P.S. Hope y'all liked chapter 3. My husband is off work tomorrow and we have a busy day, so capter four may not get posted until monday, but I'll try.

Chapter 4:

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About a month after the first doctor’s appointment, my new little brother Andrew was born. My grandma came to stay with us for three days, while my mom was in the hospital, and Aubrey asked me to keep quiet about the pregnancy because Grandma didn’t know. I said I would, because honestly I didn’t want to be the one to break it to Grandma. She was one of those people that asked a million questions and always lectured when she found out something new. For the most part, I didn’t like being around her, but she was my grandma and she helped our family through a lot, so I couldn’t be rude to her.

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My mom could be a real jerk to Grandma, even though if it weren’t for Grandma at one time, she would have been living on the street with Aubrey and me. I understand she is annoying, but my mom owes her a lot of thanks. She has been there for us when we needed her and still tries to help out. My mom just doesn’t want to hear Grandma’s opinions about the life that she lives, and therefore pushes her away more often than not.

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After bringing Andrew home, Grandma went back to her house across town. When Aubrey wasn’t at school, Mom involved her heavily in helping to take care of and play with Andrew, as a way of prepping her for the future. Aubrey already knew the basics: how to change a diaper, give a bath, feed, burp, swaddle, etc. But Mom felt that she needed to gain some of the fine touches of motherhood, such as soothing and multi-tasking. Haha, if she learns that, she will already be above Mom’s skills. Since I was 6, her multi-tasking was always, “Ashlee, keep an eye on the baby for a little bit, I have to (insert whatever ‘task’ she needed to get done).”

At this time, the pregnancy had been a secret, kept between me, mom, Aubrey, the doctor, my mom’s case worker, and the prosecution lawyer that was working with us in the upcoming trial. The situation needed to be added to the list of charges held against Richard. Of course, soon the Public Defender had to tell Richard about the new charges, and he told his family. Of the people that quickly found out, Megan was one of them.

Since the incident, Megan had stopped being friends with Aubrey, because she and her parents defended Richard for some ungodly reason, and if he went to jail, it would be “all Aubrey’s fault.” Luckily, witnesses at the party felt otherwise, and they agreed to testify in our favor.

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Instead of seeing her brother as a pig, and defending her friend, Megan decided to do the opposite. She quickly broke off her friendship with my sister and started becoming a little fiend. As soon as she heard, she spread the news of Aubrey’s pregnancy all around the middle school, and soon the whole town was talking about it. Sadly the whole town didn’t know the truth because Megan neglected to tell it. Instead she lied and said that Aubrey had been with a whole bunch of different guys and had no idea who the father of her baby was. She said that Aubrey and her brother never dated, and that all this was a plan of hers to get Richard thrown in jail for rejecting her.

Of course this was an obvious fabrication, but nobody took the time to care. Small towns are all about gossip, and it didn’t matter to people if anyone was hurt in the process of their rumor mongering. The false information snow-balled and before long the bullying at school started up.
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A group of kids started calling Aubrey names and made her come home feeling lower than dirt. Things never got physical, because Aubrey still had her own diminishing group of friends that had her back at all times, two of which were huge, tough, tall girls: the Makowski twins. They were really only around just incase, because middle school girls didn’t tend to follow through with any of their threats. They just wanted to look cool picking on people that are less fortunate.
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Because of the recent harassment, the school called my mom into the office for a meeting. She spoke with the principal and confirmed the rumors, but explained the situation as well, so that nobody in that office would be able to jump to conclusions.
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The principal and mom agreed that once a week, Aubrey should have time to see the school counselor. Time to openly talk and have something done about the hard time others were giving her would benefit her.

For the next three weeks, things looked like they were doing better. The kids that had been so rude got a firm talking to and whilst in school the jeering seemed to stop all together as everyone moved onto the next flavor of the week. Aubrey had a little bit of peace now, and could go back to doing her school work. She was actually still allowed to be in student council as well.

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Aubrey almost made it to her 4 month mark without any further interruption until one Tuesday afternoon when we were all sitting at home, relaxing and having a decent time for once when we heard a knock at the front door.
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Mom got up to answer it and there was a corporately dressed woman on the porch, followed by two make policemen. “Hi. I’m Sharon Taylor with Child Protective Services.”

Chapter 5:

“Okay… so what do you want here?” Mom asked, raising an eyebrow after Sharon didn’t say anything for a moment.
“We have reason to believe that the children in your household are possibly being neglected or abused. You are currently only under investigation. When we receive a tip or a formal report is filed, we are obligated to investigate.”
“Come in.” Mom sighed, after being sure that CPS actually had a warrant to enter and search the house.

CPS was at the house for a total of two hours, searching for evidence of neglect/abuse, examining us and taking statements. Ms. Taylor told my mom that she had received a report against this household, stating that:
-The three younger children weren’t fed enough, and were dressed in raggedy clothing
-Mom was hitting me, Aubrey and Adam
-Mom left Adam, Abbey and Andrew home alone
-Aubrey and I were promiscuous because Mom told us to be, and one of us was pregnant
-We stole and skipped school
-We lived in a filthy house
-Mom, Aubrey and I were on drugs
-We had a physically abusive male figure in the house (father/step-father)

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My mom talked the worker through all of those, proving that they were lies, except Aubrey being pregnant.
“Okay, first of all, my kids get plenty of food. Their clothes are normal, not raggedy. My house is nowhere near filthy, and I never leave my kids unless Ashlee or my mom is here to watch them. My oldest daughter is a lesbian, and has been with 1 partner for the past year. My kids go to school everyday unless they’re sick. My daughter Aubrey is a straight A student. We are not on drugs, and I have been single for over 10 years. No adult male lives in this house. The oldest male here is my 6 year old son. My kids don’t steal and I NEVER hit them.”

She had to explain to the worker a little more in depth about the legal situation surrounding Aubrey’s pregnancy. She told the worker that she had no idea that Aubrey was even active until it was too late, and that Richard was facing jail time for the abuse and as soon as the unborn baby was proven his. Mom showed Ms. Taylor all the legal paperwork from her part of the case file to prove that she was telling the truth. Talk of the trail was a long process, full of explaining about the charges of abuse and criminal actions with a minor.

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At long last the worker wanted to speak to Aubrey privately to confirm that this was true and that she was in fact pressured and abused by Richard, and that Mom really didn’t have any prior knowledge of these actions. Afterward, CPS confirmed that the report filed against our family was void because of heresy.

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So we were out of the woods for at least a little while longer. Things just started to get better again. Aubrey’s appetite was back and she was able to stay awake more often. She had 2 more weeks until the next ultrasound to determine the baby’s gender. We had just gotten into feeling comfortable again when a new can of worms opened with a visit from Grandma.

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“Nadya, something has been worrying me.” Grandma started as soon as she entered the house, sitting herself down on the recliner.
“Mhmm…What’s that?” Mom asked, only half paying attention, filing a chipped nail.
“I have been hearing some things when I’m out and about in town. People are saying that your daughter is pregnant, and I think you need to set the record straight so that people won’t think negatively of you. We all know Ashlee’s chosen lifestyle can’t result in pregnancy.” Grandma said slowly, trying to form her words just right to keep from setting Mom off on her.
“Well, Ashlee certainly isn’t pregnant. But it doesn’t really matter what I say to people, they all have their minds made up. And I’m ready to deal with that. As the mom of a teenage mother, I know I am going to face judgment.” Mom replied coolly. She now dropped her file on the couch arm to make eye contact with her mother.

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“Mom of a…? But you just said that Ashlee wasn’t pregnant.” Grandma stated, easily confused in her old age.
“She’s not. Aubrey is.” Mom said, with such poise and calm collectiveness. She knew what was going to happen and braced herself for the reaction.
“WHAT?! Nadya what are you talking about? You must be joking!” Grandma stammered.
“Well, if I was joking, that would be a pretty cruel joke for me to make about my own daughter.” Mom replied again.
“What have you gotten her into?” Grandma demanded.

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Needless to say, that wasn’t the right question to ask my mom and it sparked an argument of serious proportions. They yelled at each other for a little bit and Aubrey got involved, trying to calm everyone down like she usually did. Grandma went on to say that Aubrey was just a little girl and couldn’t possibly be a good mom, and that it would be unfair for an infant to be under her supervision. Of course mom retorted by saying that Aubrey was a responsible, intelligent young woman that would be a great mom with a little bit of work. Grandma suggested that Aubrey should terminate the pregnancy before it ruined her life, and Mom quickly came to the rescue.

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“My daughter was assaulted! And that sure as Hell is not the baby’s fault! This family chooses life. That’s what I have always believed and that’s what I have raised my kid to believe. I will not tolerate someone suggesting that I murder my own grandchild, in my own house! So, no. This is not your place to say anything here. I, for one, am proud of Aubrey. She is doing the best that she can do. What do you want from her?”

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They continued to scream and fight about the matter until Aubrey became unable to bear it and ran off to our room. Mom literally shoved Grandma out of the house and told her not to even contact them until she changed her tone, because Aubrey didn’t need anybody to make things more difficult for her.
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In a way, I understood my Grandma. Though she was cruel in her words, she meant well. She just didn’t believe Aubrey could be a mother, especially with what she had to learn from. She thought that Aubrey or her child shouldn’t have to suffer for Richard’s actions. But like Mom said, I would never be able to support her in the idea of termination. We just don’t believe in that sort of thing. Besides, Aubrey was four months along, and in our fair state, it would be illegal at this point. I know in my own heart that the thought never once crossed Aubrey’s mind.

But I still agreed with Grandma on the fact that it was going to be a very difficult, maybe even impossible future for my poor sister to have, and part of it was my mom’s fault, just like Grandma said. I still worried about what was going to happen, though not as much in the recent weeks. At first, worry drove me crazy, but then I thought, if there was a way, it would be done, and if there wasn’t… we would cross that bridge when we got to it. I expected failure, but I thought that it did me no good going nuts over it. Neither Aubrey or Mom were worried, and neither of them listened to me anyway, so why should I? So I put it out of my mind, and the worry only cropped up every now and then, when I let myself dwell on the possibilities.
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I have to admit, I was very proud of my mom at that moment. The way she stood up for Aubrey like she did was exactly how a mom should defend her children, fiercely. However wrong and stupid she may or may not have been, she wasn’t going to let anybody make life harder on her child. She was right there when Aubrey needed her defense, and it was honestly a touching moment, where it really didn’t matter if she was right or wrong. What mattered was that she was there to help and be a good mom for one shining moment. If she could actually keep that going, then maybe everything really would be all right.
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Chapter 6:

Before Aubrey went in for THE doctor’s appointment, the prosecution lawyer assigned to the case got in contact with mom, who had to be present with Aubrey in court since she was a minor. He said that there was a way now that we could help make the court case go by faster and have Richard and his family out of our hair sooner. Now that Aubrey was at least 16 weeks along, an amniocentesis could be done to determine if the DNA between the baby and Richard matches. That would be the only way to prove he was guilty of anything more than battery.
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So that everyone is up to speed, an amniocentesis test is done when a nurse inserts a needle into the abdomen of a pregnant woman and sucks up some of the amniotic fluid from her uterus. The fluid is then sent to a lab for testing. It is usually done to test for a number of genetic disorders including Down Syndrome and Fragile X syndrome.

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Mom talked to Aubrey about it and she agreed that it would be a lot easier on her once he wasn’t around to worry about. He had tried calling as well as coming over to our house on a couple of separate occasions, hoping to talk to Aubrey so that they could “work it out.”
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He said he loved her and still wanted to be with her. He said that they could fix their problems, and that he could bring himself to love and support ‘her’ baby, still not saying that it was his, when he knew it was. He kept going on about how he has changed and all that. He’s changed…yeah right. As soon as Aubrey would say no, he would go back to yelling at her and threatening her.
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Yellingather.jpg)

He really just wanted her to drop the charges, and was going about it all wrong. Mom got a restraining order put against him and his entire household except Megan. A restraining order would have been impossible with her, since she and Aubrey went to the same school.

She went in for her appointment to get both her amniocentesis test and the ultrasound done on the same day, just to get it out of the way. She was going to get it done and come right home because she had homework to finish and mom had a nail appointment to go to.

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Aubrey came back into the house alone, half-smiling. She had her hand on her stomach and winced coming up the steps on the porch. I asked her if she was okay and she nodded, but said that the test was really painful for her and that she hated it and wanted to lie down. I helped her onto the couch and got her a blanket. She said that the nurse was really rough with her and really mean, so her belly was sore. But the DNA had been collected for testing, and the results would take anywhere from 2 weeks to 30 days to be returned. The lawyer had told mom over the phone that Richard was also going to the lab for a DNA test later this week.

“Don’t you want to know the baby’s gender?” Aubrey asked, from her spot on the couch where she was laying. I had gotten up to put the kettle on the stove for hot tea, since it was such a cold day outside.
“Yeah, I was just waiting on you.” I replied, coming back to the recliner to sit down.
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Gender.jpg)

“It’s a little girl!” She said with a smile.
“For real? What are you going to name her?” I asked, not sure if she already had names planned or not.
“I haven’t really decided yet. I want to give her something with personality.” Aubrey answered, placing a hand on her chin to think. She suddenly frowned, as if remembering an unfortunate detail. “Ashlee, when I was getting the ultrasound, they said that the baby’s brain didn’t look quite right. What could that mean?”

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I looked at her for a second, not sure what she meant. “It didn’t look right? They didn’t tell you anything?” I asked. I didn’t know anything about ultrasounds or brains, so I wasn’t a good person to ask.
“They said some big words, and just that it didn’t look 100% normal. But that they would run another series of tests. The amnio-one was one of them, and they did a blood test too. That same mean nurse gave me this.”
She pulled back her sleeve to show a large bruise starting to form in the crook of her arm.
“Jeez!” I said. It looked painful. “Are you worried?”

“Yeah, of course I’m worried. But they said that her face and neck looked really good, so it probably wasn’t Down Syndrome. They said it could even be nothing at all, just that she is a little slow at this stage of development. But the tests will shed more light on the situation. Until then, I need to stay calm. Stress isn’t good for me or the baby right now.”

Things were uneventful for the next three weeks, as we waited and waited on the results of Aubrey’s test. We were sitting at dinner one evening, just talking about how our days had been and Aubrey mentioned that Mrs. Sellman, the school counselor has been talking to her about the adoption option. The two of them agreed it might be the more positive option.

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“Huh?” Mom asked, “You’re thinking about giving the baby up for adoption?”
“I’m thinking about it still. But Mrs. Sellman said that I would be able to continue my life, and the baby would be able to have hers. If I gave her up, she would be put in a good home, and I will have done the best I could to make sure that she was going to be taken care of. I owe her life and I will give her that. But I don’t know if I can be the one to provide the life she deserves.” Aubrey said, slowly and as if she were reading from a script.
“What exactly did Mrs. Sellman tell you?” Mom asked.
“She just said that it was going to be really, really hard for me to finish school and keep my grades up with a baby. She said that I was still young and should be able to do the same things other teenagers do, and that I really didn’t need to ruin my life and my daughter’s because of someone else’s mistakes.”

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“That really isn’t any of her business. She’s supposed to be there to listen to you, not preach at you like this.” Mom said, slightly irritated.

I honestly thought that adoption was a good idea. Mrs. Sellman was right, in my eyes anyway. Sure, having a kid didn’t ruin your life. My best friend Tiffanie had a baby and her life was doing okay. She was a home-school student and she still had fun from time to time. But in all truthfulness, she wasn’t an excellent mom. She didn’t have as many things to lose as Aubrey did. But the counselor was right about the fact that maybe another family could take better care of Aubrey’s baby than she could. There were so many couples that wanted children, but couldn’t have them. Maybe this would be a blessing for some loving family. Like Aubrey said, she owed the baby life, whatever that meant. And she really wanted to give a wonderful life but may not be able to. This could have very well been the answer that Aubrey needed.

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Over the next couple days, Aubrey seemed uneasy. She always wanted to be alone in our room, or took long showers to be by herself. I think that Mom had secretly talked to her, trying to get her against adoption. I don’t know why she would do that, but it had to have been something like that, because my sister was suddenly going through a mental crisis. She seemed confident of the idea at dinner the other night, but now she didn’t want to talk about it.

Eventually some good news came, temporarily putting the worry out of Aubrey’s mind. Mom came into the house with a copy of the test results in an envelope and gave them to Aubrey when she got home from school. The DNA test was positive. Richard was the father, and that proved his guilt. All we had to do was be at the hearing in court. There was no way we could lose. The results also came up negative on all the genetic problems that it tested for. So the baby did not have Down Syndrome or Fragile X syndrome. According to the test, everything was okay.

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However, the day after this, the doctor called the house to make a special appointment with Aubrey, concerning the results of the other tests she took.

Thanks for all the comments guys!
And now for....

Chapter 7:

I hadn’t mentioned it before, but mom had been on a waiting list for almost three years, waiting for a house that was big enough for the family to live in. Finally, they found a home that was approved for the housing assistance program. It had been vacant for years and finally was up for sale. The house had belonged to an old, rich couple that used it for a summer home. One summer, years ago, the couple got into an argument because the man was going to leave his wife for his 23 year old secretary. The wife, understandably upset, shot her husband dead in the basement.

The house was passed on to one of their children, who didn’t want it, and let it sit for three years before putting it up for sale. The place is real nice. It’s a single story with four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a den and a basement. It has been neglected over the years, but it’s still a really nice place, much better than the trailer we lived in.

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The housing assistance program (HUD) allowed us to move in faster than normal, because the septic tank at our old house blew a pipe and the landlord said that we had to pay to fix it, which is illegal. So we got out of there and moved into our new home just in time for winter break from school! The best part of all is, the house is affordable. HUD only makes mom pay $300 a month for it, when monthly payments would usually be outstanding for a house like that.

You’re all probably wondering about Aubrey. I’ll get to that now.

The doctor scheduled an appointment with Aubrey a day before school let out for the holidays. She was only at her appointment for a short time, and when she came home, she didn’t look sad, happy or anything. Aubrey was blank when she came home and sat down. Mom sat down beside her for support and told her that she “supported her, no matter what”. Of course I didn’t go to the appointment, so I had no idea what they were talking about.
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“Is the baby okay?” is all I asked.
“Yeah,” Aubrey said slowly, still with a blank voice, “The doctor said that she is going to be just fine. She’s just a little different, that’s all.”
I didn’t know what she meant, and so I waited for a moment to see if Aubrey would continue on her own. But she seemed so lost in thought, it was almost like she didn’t know we were even there with her.
“The baby has a disorder, Ash.” Mom said, since Aubrey was still quiet. “They said that they checked everything out and that her heart was strong as could be, and her neck and face grew totally normally. She won’t be deformed physically at all. But according to her brain tests, she is going to live with mild mental retardation.”

Whoa! That was crazy! The baby was going to have a mental disability. I honestly couldn’t believe it.

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“They said that it’s not going to be severe.” Aubrey finally said. “She will still be able to function, and eventually live on her own when she becomes an adult. She just won’t ever have a high IQ. But other than that, she should be pretty much normal. The doctor said that if she is worked with, her speech won’t even be impaired. Somebody might still want to adopt her…Excuse me.” Aubrey said in a cracking voice, standing up and heading into her room. Mom gave her the double door den, because it was the biggest room besides her room.

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“She just needs some time to herself. She’s okay.” Mom assured me.
“How did…how did this happen? I mean, what caused it? Do you know?” I asked, not really sure what would be the most appropriate way to address my curiosity.
“It was a genetic disorder. It was nothing that Aubrey did wrong. She couldn’t have prevented this. Something just didn’t come together right when the baby was being formed. These things happen.”

I didn’t think it was something that Aubrey did. She was a healthy girl. She exercised, got plenty of rest, ate right, took her vitamins, didn’t drink or smoke (and I never smoked around her). I could only wonder how she was feeling right now. I could tell she was upset, and I could see why she needed time to herself to just think. But I wished that I could have done or said something to help her out. But you know, what exactly do you say to something like that? I didn’t know, I’m not sure anyone in the house knew. Mom sure didn’t.

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For the first week and a half of winter break, I saw very little of Aubrey and was starting to get worried. Mom said to just leave her alone and let her have her space. She said Aubrey would come around when she felt like it. She would come to dinner, and sit and talk and be friendly, but mom still suggested that we don’t talk to her about the baby until she mentions it again. She was having a hard time, and she was the only one that could deal with it.

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Time went by and before we knew it, Christmas was around the bend. We had already put the tree up the second day that we lived in the house and things were looking a little brighter. Aubrey came out of her room to laugh and wrap presents with me and mom, while baby Andrew napped and Adam played cars with Abbey. For a little while, things seemed to be going much better. It was almost like nothing was there to worry about. We were having a good time, happy in our new house.

“Shoot, Ashlee will you go down to the basement and get the extra roll of tape out of one of the boxes?” Mom asked.
“But mom, I still have this present to wrap and you don’t have anything to do right now.” I answered.
“Yeah, but…I don’t want to go down there.” Mom said, looking back and forth nervously. “It’s haunted.”
I raised an eyebrow and looked at her. “The basement is haunted?” I asked, in a disbelieving manner.
“Yeah. I think it is anyway.” She said quietly, and I saw she was completely serious.
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Mombeingawuss.jpg)

“Mom, what’s wrong with you?” I asked, trying not to laugh. “You’re a fully grown woman. There’s nothing down there. I honestly can’t believe that you are scared of some silly ghost fantasy.” I said, chuckling to myself and getting up.
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I went down to the basement and found the tape, only moments later in one of the boxes.

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“Ooooooh, ghost tape.” I said, tossing the roll over to her. I was just being silly, but Mom cut her eyes and looked at me like I was the meanest girl on Earth.
“Come on, the basement is ghost free, I promise.” I said with a smile, trying to encourage her to act like less of a wuss.
“Yeah, says you.” Mom grumbled, continuing to wrap presents.

Christmas came faster than I thought it would, with Adam waking everyone up at 6 in the morning because he wanted to open presents. I remembered being his age and being so excited to see what ‘Santa’ brought me. It was actually refreshing to see someone in the house happy as could be about something.

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We exchanged gifts and had a lot of fun that morning. I got a couple new pairs of jeans, nose stud set, more acrylic to do my nails with, a pair of shoes, new backpack and some money. It was a good haul that year, usually I didn’t get that much, but mom won the $2,000 Christmas prize playing bingo earlier that month.

“Whoa! What the hay?” Aubrey exclaimed, just about to open her 4th present.
“What?” Mom said, looking at her in concern. “Are you okay, hun?”
“Yeah, I just felt like… a twitch in my belly.” Aubrey replied, placing a hand on her growing abdomen.
“That’s called the baby kicking. Get used to that, it’s going to happen more and more.” Mom said honestly.
“There it was again! Wow…” Aubrey said, now smiling. “What a weird Christmas present, huh?”
“That’s just her wanting to wish you a Merry Christmas, mommy.” Mom replied happily, glad to see Aubrey smiling again, genuinely smiling.

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The rest of the day went uneventfully. Mom spent the day in the kitchen cooking dinner, Adam and Abbey played with all their new toys in their rooms, and Aubrey cleaned up all the boxes and wrapping paper, as well as watching Andrew while Mom was busy.

I was free to do my own thing, because Ayah came over to have dinner with me and my family. Her mom and dad both had to work Christmas evening. She was glad to spend the morning with them, but didn’t want to be alone for the rest of the day. It was fine with my mom, she loved Ayah. It was a fun day being with her, and being with my happy, insane family. This was the first day of peace we had in a good while.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Cuddling.jpg)

I really should get that. Sometimes the red frame is gone when I pause, and sometimes it shows up. Weirds-ville.

Chapter 8:

New Year’s Eve came, and of course Mom made a fool out of herself. She had been hanging out with friends most of the night and she got the designated driver to drop her off at 2:00am. She was drunk and acting like a stupid college kid, being loud and stumbling around.

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“Ash-e, you…shood’ve came wiv me. So muck funnn! WOOOO!” She slurred.
“Mom, do you have any idea what time it is? Everyone is already asleep. Now shut it and go to bed.” I said, pointing toward her room without knowing it.
“But ashee… I wanna PARRTY!” she shouted, slumping down on the couch.

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“I think you’ve done plenty of that for one night, Mom. Wonderful example you’re setting for Aubrey, by the way.” I said bitterly, helping Mom take off her old, ratty pumps that she has owned since way back when she was known as “Cinnamon”.
“Don’t dake det tonn wiv me. Gimme anoth..(hiccup) beer.” She said, trying to act tough.
“No mom, and if you don’t shut up and go to bed right now, I’m going to lock you in the basement for the night.” I said, tired of her crap.

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“…I’ll be good.” She said, letting me help her to bed.

Winter break had seemed like it was a good time for Aubrey to clear her head, without a bunch of outside influence. I figured that was why she wanted to be alone so much. She really wanted to be able to make her own decision as her own person. I guess if she knew what she really wanted, instead of having someone else tell her what they wanted her to want, she wouldn’t feel guilt in the future. That’s how this came to happen.

It was the last day of break, and I was just cleaning up after dinner when she came into the kitchen.
“Ash, can we talk?” she asked. I jumped a little, she was so quiet that I didn’t even know she was there until I heard the question.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Notgonnagiveher.jpg)
“Yeah, sure.” I said, sitting the dish I was cleaning back into the sink and turning to face her. “What’s up?”
“Well, I already told Mom, and I wanted to tell you too. I wouldn’t feel right unless I let you know.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, not sure at all what she was getting at.
“I can’t give her up.” Aubrey said quickly.
“What, the baby?” I asked, making sure we were both on the same page. I had a tendency to get lost when she spoke for a long period of time. Aubrey was far more intelligent than me.
“Yeah, my daughter. I can’t put her up for adoption. I just…can’t and I’m not going to. Yes, okay? I know that life is going to be very hard on me. I know this. And I know I may never be the perfect mom for her, but I love her more than anyone can. Mrs. Sellman doesn’t know what she’s talking about, Mom is right. She says that if I give the baby up, she will be loved and cared for better than what I can give her, but that’s wrong. Because I am her mom, and I love her to death, and I want to do this.”
“Aubrey, have you really thought this through?”
“Yes! Yes I have thought it through, every waking second for the past two weeks I have thought it through and it felt so good to be able to think by myself. But that moment on Christmas, where she kicked, I had my mind made up. I just prayed and asked for some type of sign. I know it sounds silly, me praying, but I did. And that kick was the sign I needed. It was on Christmas, and it was like she was saying, “I want you to be my mom!” She wants to be with me, and I want to be with her. I don’t think I can live my life without her.”
“This is going to be impossible for you to have a life that is anywhere close to normal.” I said, trying not to offend her. I just wanted her to know the truth that Mom didn’t tell her.
“Look at me. I already don’t have a normal life. I know that because she is mentally challenged it is going to be even harder. I know for some moms, that’s more of a reason to give her away. But it’s not for me! It makes me want to keep her more, because if I give her away, I will never know what happens to her. I’ll never know if she really will receive all the love she deserves. With me she will. Because none of it matters to me. I see her as a perfect little girl, my little girl. She’s not going to ruin my life, she’s going to give me life. She’s special, not disabled.I know I’m making the right decision.”

I just stood there. After that speech, what could I say to her? Her mind was made up and she was going to be that baby’s mama. For some reason, and I have no idea why, I saw my little sister in a new light from that time on. Oddly, I had an insane wave of respect for her. I realized something about her. She never was a normal girl, not even for a minute. When she was little, she never played with Barbie dolls like the other little girls did. She was always asking me, “Sissy, read me a story! The one where the dragon wins!”

And now, she was nothing like other middle school girls. She gave less of a crap what celebrities did than even I did. She didn’t care about new music, and she never tried to go to school in practically underwear. No, she was always wanting to learn. She wanted to be naïve and free, always in a world of make-believe with one of her books. She was always full of imagination and determination to finish anything she started. She stuffed her brain with ideas of the future and it kept her excelling in school. That’s just how she was. She’s never failed at anything in her life. She was like a realistic, 13 year old version of Lisa Simpson, book-smart but sometimes lacked common sense. This simple weakness is what got her into this situation.

After a couple weeks of school being back on track, she stopped having her weekly visits with the school counselor, and once Mom gave the okay that she didn’t need to do what they said, there was nothing the school could do. She said that Mrs. Sellman had become a negative influence in her life. I know that all the woman did was care, but that was not how Aubrey saw it. Her mind was fully made up, and she didn’t want anyone raining on her parade, which was what Mrs. Sellman was doing.

She went on to the point of doing the best she could, in the only way that she knew how, reading and experience. She took some of her Christmas money and went down to the book store to buy a couple of books that would help her along the way down her path.
-What to Expect When You’re Expecting
-What to Expect the First Year
-Surviving Teen Pregnancy
-Special Children, Challenged Parents

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Buyingbooks.jpg)

And she read, any time that she wasn’t at school or doing her homework, she was reading or practicing her learning with Andrew. Sometimes she would even mix both at once, and read out loud to the baby from one of her books, show him pictures and comment to him about her baby and what development she was doing this week.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Readingup.jpg)

And she seemed like a whole new, bright and excited girl again...
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Somuchbetter.jpg)

I forgot to get the removing the pause frame thing, and I only remembered after my pictures were taken...next chapter won't have red frame.

Chapter 9:

She was now 6 months along and it seemed like she got heavier and bigger by the day. She decided around this time that she was going to name the baby Carrie. It was that or Calypso, and Aubrey thought that Carrie sounded more elegant. It means “free person” according to the book Aubrey rented from the library.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Lovehername.jpg)
“That’s exactly what I want her to be, a free spirit.” Aubrey said after picking out the name. She said she finally felt relieved that she could call her daughter a name instead of ‘her’ or ‘the baby’. Frankly, it took her a pretty long time of doing just that, what was 3 more months? But then again, what do I know? I’m not a mom and she is.

The trial was finally set, and we appeared in court only once before the verdict was found. He tried to say that he and Aubrey only had a one-night stand, and he didn’t know how old she was, but that she said she was 18. That lie was thrown out the window when Aubrey brought forth this picture:
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/RichardandAubrey.jpg)

And on the back of that picture it said. “I love you, babe. I can’t wait to spend my life with you when you become of age. I hope you’ll say yes when that day comes.”

With the witnesses, pictures that the doctor took of Aubrey after the beating, and the DNA test proving that Carrie was his daughter, Richard Meyers was found guilty of physically assaulting a minor, statutory rape and lewd conduct with a minor. After the guilty verdict was carried out, he was served with 5 years in a state prison with possibility of parole, and he has to sign the registry for sex offenders for the rest of his life. Some people would say that it seems like a harsh punishment for a now 19 year old kid. I say, “boohoo, he should have thought about that.” It’s not like Richard was too stupid to know the law.
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/RichardInJail.jpg)

Mom and Aubrey had to re-file another restraining order against the Meyers’ so that they couldn’t call or come over to our new house with any renewing of their same cowardly threats. That part of our lives was finally over, and it couldn’t have come sooner. These legal battles always took forever to work through. But the judicial system did its job and we were safe from anymore suffering due to those people.

School was even easier. Nobody sided with Megan in making fun of Aubrey anymore. Ever since word of the trial slipped out, the verdict was all that people needed to hear in order to do a complete flip in their siding. Megan became ostracized by a lot of the other students, who saw her as a liar just like her brother. She now had no bearing on what other people thought, and her ill-gotten popularity slipped away.
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/MiserableMegan.jpg)

Aubrey even got a few apologies from other kids for the way they had treated her before, without teachers forcing them to do so.
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Apologyaccepted.jpg)

Since she knew she was going to keep Carrie, Aubrey got herself signed up for the WIC program, which is a state-to-state funded program that provides pregnant women, breastfeeding moms, and children under five years old with nutritional vouchers. Every month you receive checks for certain food (eggs, cheese, milk, cereal, juice, formula, etc) for moms and their children. It’s actually a really beneficial program. They also do donations, where they receive baby items and will give them to mom’s that don’t have enough money to afford them alone. WIC already gave her a nice car seat and a pink diaper bag.

Since Mom already had a sturdy metal changing table that has lasted for 6 years, all Aubrey needed was a crib and dresser for the baby. She and mom got that taken care of by going to the library and searching on Craigslist.com. They found a cute little wooden 2 in 1 dresser and crib put together.
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Crib.jpg)

It was perfect since Aubrey’s bedroom was short on space and we didn’t have an extra room in the house to use as a nursery. That is, unless someone decided to sleep in the basement. Adam liked the idea, but every time he mentioned it, Mom would freak out.

Her weirdness about the basement was a little disturbing to say the least. She wouldn’t go down there even to get laundry. Adam, Aubrey or I had to wash, dry and bring loads upstairs and Mom offered to fold and put them away, but she would not even open the basement door. I tried not to laugh, but this was so incredibly stupid that it was hard not to. I thought at first that she just wasn’t used to the house…now I was starting to think she’d suffered brain damage.

That aside, Aubrey signed up for a parenting class at the hospital, which had a special section designed for care of differently-abled infants. The class also dealt with birthing, as well as techniques on less painful labor. Mom commented, “I took those classes before. It really didn’t help. When you’re in that much pain, you barely remember to breathe, much less breathe in a pattern.”
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ParentClass.jpg)

Aubrey was unconvinced, and still continued her 3 week class until it was over.

It was March, and at now 7 months into her pregnancy, Aubrey was having to go to the bathroom at least once every 20 minutes, and she was suffering from massive water retention in her feet and ankles. The doctor even had to write a note to her school, giving Aubrey permission to wear bedroom slippers to class, because her feet were so swollen that she couldn’t get her shoes on. Her back hurt and she was now having trouble sleeping, due to Carrie kicking the crap out of her insides. She used cocoa butter lotion as often as possible to prevent the stretch marks from looking terrible, but the doctor said that at her age, she was probably going to have them anyway.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Belly.jpg)

Chapter 10:

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The day of the baby-shower came, a little later than a lot of people do them, but it came just the same. Aubrey invited my two best friends, Tiffanie and Monique, as well as Ayah and a few of her friends from school. She invited more, but only a few were allowed by their parents to show up. Some of the girls at school still bought something small for the baby, and just sent the present with one of the other girls that were allowed to attend the shower.
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/BabyShower.jpg)

Aubrey received a lot of clothes for Carrie, some bibs, burp rags, a few binkies, three bottles, a grooming kit, an assorted box of baby soaps, powders and lotions, six blankets, portable changing pad, a diaper cake, a package of newborn socks, and two pairs of shoes. Mom also got Aubrey her first huge box of diapers, and a couple stuffed animals. We all had a lot of fun at the shower and Aubrey was happy as could be with the generous gifts that her friends got her. She told me she really liked the baby blanket that I made for her in Home Ec. during school, because she said she could tell that it really came from the heart.
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Presents.jpg)

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/MomsayingHi.jpg)
The 8th month approached and she said it was almost impossible to sleep on account of her back hurting. Every night, she had to have a mug of Chamomile tea so that she would be able to fall asleep and stay that way for at least the majority of the night. When she wasn’t at school, she spent her time with her feet propped up on a mound of pillows to keep the swelling as low as possible. Se said the discomfort was becoming more and more unbearable until one day…
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Legspropped.jpg)

She had been feeling awful, to the point where she stayed home from school because her she said her back was cramping and her lower abdomen was sore and contracting. Aubrey said it was called Braxton Hicks’ false labor pains, and it was normal in most pregnancies during the last two months. But what wasn’t normal was when she came out of the bathroom (I skipped school that day, too) saying that she needed to go to the hospital.
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/21e728e3.jpg)

“Why, what’s wrong?” I asked, standing up to go over to her, because she looked a little shook up.
“I lost my mucous plug.” Aubrey said, trying to remain calm, but I could tell she was scared and excited.
“Your what-what?” I asked, having no idea what she was talking about at all.
“Are you sure?” Mom asked, surprised.
“Uh huh.” Aubrey replied.
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Freakinout.jpg)

“Ash, it means she’s going to have the baby soon. We have to go. Did you pack your hospital bag?” Mom directed her attention to Aubrey who shook her head.
“No, I’m a month early! I was going to pack it in two weeks.” She said honestly.

Mom asked me to help her pack Aubrey’s bag while she took care of the baby’s bag and Aubrey sat down on the couch so as not to excite herself further. Mom and I ran around the house trying to make sure that we remembered everything. Luckily for us, Aubrey had already prepared a checklist, and all we really had to do was go down the list and pick things up as we went. To add a little bit of ease to the situation, we had an entire drawer in the bathroom full of little bottles of soap, shampoo, conditioner, mouthwash and toothpaste that we got from Tiffanie’s mom, who worked as a motel maid. It was better than having Aubrey lug around a huge bag of toiletries, and it was way better than having to pay for things at the hospital.
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Where.jpg)

When everything was ready, I loaded the bags into the van while mom hooked up the baby seat in the back. Aubrey got into the passenger seat and mom started the car up and took off for the hospital. I had to stay behind and take care of Abbey and Andrew, and I needed to be there when Adam came home from school.
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Leaving.jpg)

I was actually worried and excited for my sister right now, so I couldn’t hold still. I decided to get up and clean the house really well before the baby arrived home with her mom. I did laundry, dishes, swept the kitchen, vaccumed the living room until I was too bored to do anything else. It was 3:00 in the afternoon before I decided to call Ayah and ask if she wanted to come over because I was lonely.

She came over around the same time that Adam came home, so we helped him with his homework and I started dinner.
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/HelpingAdam.jpg)
The two younger kids had their baths and were in bed by 8:30, Adam was in bed by 9:00 because that was Mom’s rule.
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/BathingAbbey.jpg)

Afterward, Ayah and I had a little time to ourselves to enjoy each other’s company and we were in bed, asleep by 10:30, since her parents agreed that she could spend the night (It was a Friday).
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Kidsasleep.jpg)

Mom came home around 4 that morning to tell me that there were some complications with the labor. The baby was too big and Aubrey exhausted herself with pushing. Carrie went into a state of distress and the doctor had to perform an emergency c-section. Mom said she couldn’t stand to stay in the room because she didn’t want to see the doctors “chopping her baby up” so she said bye to Aubrey for the night and came home. I asked her if Aubrey and Carrie were going to be okay, and she said that the doctor would call her as soon as Aubrey was out of surgery and let her know any further news.
(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/Wedontknowyet.jpg)

Chapter 11:

The c-section was hard on Aubrey. She had to stay in the hospital for a week. At first they said she had to be in bed for three days and if she could stand up and function then she could check out and go home. But as the few days went on, she wasn’t getting out of bed well and she was still in a good deal of pain. So they kept her for a few more days. Carrie was only one month premature, so she didn’t need to be kept in the ICU. After a few tests were run, she was confirmed healthy and was allowed to go home as soon as Aubrey was released.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ScreenShot041.jpg)

The doctor spoke with Mom before releasing Aubrey and Carrie. She said that since Aubrey had the c-section, there were going to be a couple of things that she couldn’t do for a while. She could hold Carrie, but the doctor didn’t want Aubrey picking her up out of her crib or off of the floor, for two weeks until they were sure that she was fully healed enough to do so. She wasn’t allowed to do anything strenuous, and she was supposed to remain off her feet if she felt discomfort. No heavy lifting or pulling. So needless to say, Mom and I were going to have to help her out the first two weeks of being home.

The doctor had her on a strong pain medicine, so she slept as often as Carrie did. The first week went by quickly and Aubrey seemed to be coming out of her tiredness. She was healing well, but still seemed to get around very stiffly. She stopped taking her pain medication because she said it impaired her, and she wanted to be awake with Carrie as often as possible. She didn’t ask for help, except when it came to lifting Carrie out of her crib in the mornings, and having one of us keep an eye on the baby while she slept so that Aubrey could take a shower.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ScreenShot045-1.jpg)

Carrie was a quiet baby, very rarely cried for any reason other than hunger. As soon as she was fed, she would go right back to being quiet again. If she happened to wake up in the morning before Aubrey did, she would just lay still and stare at the mobile above her head, waiting patiently for her mom to come and get her changed and ready for the day.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ScreenShot044.jpg)

The fact that Carrie was such an easy infant to care for made it to where Aubrey could finish the year’s schoolwork at home during her maternity leave. She had a couple of hours each day to work on school while Carrie slept. Babies are supposed to sleep at least 16 hours out of the day when you put it all together, but it seemed like a lot less than that when there was an actual baby living in your house. She always seemed to be awake, and Aubrey had to break her schooling down into 1-2 hour increments.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ScreenShot047.jpg)

She got into her own schedule though, and adapted really well into being a mother. I have to say I was surprised at how good she seemed to be doing. She had no social life though, which wasn’t a huge difference from before but now she never saw friends or anything ever, because she was always busy…determined is more like it, being the one to take care of her daughter. Since the school year was almost over, she was invited to attend a couple of parties for the 8th grade class, saying goodbye to them because they were going into high school the following school year, but Aubrey turned them down and said she didn’t have time.

She did agree, however to attend the 8th grade graduation with the rest of her class. She managed to finish the rest of her schoolwork two weeks before she had to have her final grades in, and she still managed to pass with an A on her final report card. She was supposed to have gotten the award for valedictorian, but the school ripped her off and gave it to the boy right under her. They tried to say that he had more extra curricular activities than Aubrey, but we all knew why he got the award.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ScreenShot049-1.jpg)

The boy, whose name was Daniel (the student council President), understood too, and during his speech at the graduation, he said that he appreciated the award but: “We all know who really deserves this. Aubrey Dawson clearly did better than I did, and those that think otherwise are deluding themselves. She’s been through her own struggles and she still came out #1 so I wouldn’t feel like any kind of an honorable student unless I shared this award with her. Come up, Aubrey. You deserve to have someone clap for you.” Everyone was quiet until Daniel’s mom jumped up and clapped for both of them, telling her son, “Right on, baby!” Since she clapped, everyone else decided to clap as well. My mom was so proud. I don’t think she ever realized how smart kids could be, and that one of those intelligent kids was hers.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ScreenShot054-1.jpg)

After graduation, my mom took a bunch of pictures of Aubrey and her friends. She went to the after party just for an hour because her class said it was okay for her to bring Carrie with, since most of them wanted to meet her.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ScreenShot059.jpg)

CHAPTER 12:

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As I write this, it has been three months since Carrie was born and I have to admit something. I was wrong for the most part. I was wrong when I said that Aubrey wouldn’t be a good mother, and I am very surprised and glad to be wrong in this aspect. I thought that she wouldn’t be able to take the strain or the work, but she has done it. This whole summer, she hasn’t gone out with a single friend, though she has invited people to come to the house with her. Every time I see her, she is doing something with Carrie. It doesn’t matter if it’s feeding, bathing, playing or soothing, she is always with her daughter.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ScreenShot022.jpg)
Aubrey has taken this challenge just as well as she always takes any, and I never hear her complain about the way things are. She loves Carrie and it’s obvious. She doesn’t care that her life has changed, to Aubrey it’s worth it. She doesn’t feel that she has made a mistake or that her life would have been better without Carrie in it. I know that her life would have been easier, but this has been just another thing for her to grow with, and she is honestly doing very well, as well as she can anyway. I mean, I know she doesn’t have a job yet or means to support the baby on her own, but she’s dealing with the hand she was dealt in the best way she can for now. If she’s doing this well already, I know it will get better.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ScreenShot045-3.jpg)
So far, she has made sure to get Carrie to every doctor’s appointment needed, and has the little girl all updated on her vaccines. She continues to read, but makes sure she does so out loud so that Carrie can hear the story. She heard in a book that there is evidence suggesting that infants can understand adults, so she thought maybe Carrie would enjoy hearing some stories. She is very interested in her daughter’s development.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ScreenShot049-4.jpg)
Whatever Aubrey is doing seems to be working. To be truthful, Carrie seems no slower or faster than any of my siblings were when they were babies. She smiles and rolls around and holds her head up. She can keep a hold on her bottle when it is placed into her hands, and she laughs at peek-a-boo. She seems totally normal, and wants to do things that other little babies do, like being cuddled by mommy, which she gets constantly. She seems very happy with life, and I bet it doesn’t phase her at all that her mom is still a young woman herself.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ScreenShot068.jpg)
While being a good mom, Aubrey is still able to maintain a little of her social skills. She made a friend this summer at her parenting class. She brings him to the house pretty often to hang out with her and play with Carrie. He was there doing summer volunteer work, and isn’t a parent. His name is Jessie and he seems like a decent kid. He is very friendly and very helpful to her, the kind of friend that she needs right now, a mature guy that doesn’t act like having a young mother as a friend is a huge burden. He likes Carrie and wants to become a child psychologist in the future.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ScreenShot046-1.jpg)
Aubrey has told me that Jessie has asked her out, but totally respects that she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship yet. She tells me that she told Jessie that Carrie and school are her number one priority for now, and that she doesn’t have time to do things that other girls are doing. He said it was fine and that they could remain friends. That’s very mature of her. I can’t believe that my now 14 year old sister is more mature than my own mother. It splits my sides thinking about it.

Speaking of Mom, she is actually doing a lot better, she has the first job that she has had in 10 years. It’s only part-time, and it’s a work-at-home deal, but she’s getting paid to sit on her butt at least. Mom works for an advice column, and she is paid to help people with their problems. I always thought that was pretty ironic, but people seem to eat up anything she tells them to do. It works out for everyone. I guess people are still into the phrase, “Do what I say, not what I do” even in adulthood.

As for me, I am going into my senior year of high school. I have a part-time job now, and I will be able to keep it this time. After my ½ day at school, I work for a couple of hours at the town’s McDonald’s. It’s going to be a busy year for me. I’m trying to apply for student aid and scholarships, because I still have high hopes of attending college. I just hope I can get enough money to do so. I’ll be crushed if I have to work at my current job for the rest of my life.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ScreenShot060.jpg)
Ayah and I are still together. We plan on moving to California together to attend the same college after we have finished with high school. She already has all of her scholarships taken care of so she KNOWS that she’s going to school. I always worry that I won’t get into Berkley (the school we are applying for), and I will drag her down. She tells me not to worry, because she loves me, and she will be my “sugar-mama” whenever I need her to be. She’s going to be a dental assistant. Ick, how she can stand to look at people’s teeth for a living, I’ll never know.

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ScreenShot076.jpg)
While I’m looking at scholarships, Aubrey always seems to be looking over my shoulder, taking down notes of different options she may have regarding her future. She is starting her first year of high school in a week, and she plans to get on an accelerated track. She says, “I don’t have time for fun. I’m a mother, so it’s just getting down to business for me. I’m not in high school to enjoy it. I’m there because it is on the path to getting my education. And my education is the only thing that will put a roof over Carrie’s head in the future. I want her to be proud of me.”

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ScreenShot079.jpg)
Mom always tells us we can stay with her as long as we like, but I think Aubrey wants to do that just as little as I do. It always hits me hard how responsible she is. I asked her why she thought she was like that one day, and she told me, “Because of you, Ash. Mom didn’t raise me, you did. I love Mom, but I looked to you for guidance, and I found it. I’m like this because you’re like this. I didn’t turn out like Mom, because you didn’t. I just wanted you to be proud of me.”

(http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss296/ChildOfTheLotus666/ScreenShot078.jpg)
It really touched my heart to the point where I actually cried, right there in front of my little sister. I didn’t know that she felt like that. I thought maybe it was just one of those crazy miracles that sometimes happen to people on movies. Ya know, like the person that overcomes unbeatable odds? I didn’t know that I WAS that miracle. And not to toot my own horn, but I think I did a damn good job, looking at her today. I’m so proud and I can’t wait to see how she does in high school.

Tues (means “end” in Floppanese)

*Note: Yes, there will be a sequel eventually, and it will continue with Aubrey going to high school. But for now, I am breaking off into a new story centered around my teen sim couple Josh Angel and Kayla Devon. If you liked this story, you will probably like that one too, it has the same general theme of young parenthood. Hope you enjoyed this!!

Insimenator.org

Simmers' Paradise => Sims Stories => Topic started by: SenkoTwiik on August 07, 2009, 07:38:23 pm