Insimenator.org

I really like DaSpecial1's thread about 1000 things I've learned from watching horror movies, so all credits for the original idea go to DaSpecial1.
The thing is, horror movies aren't the only kind of movie. So I figured we'd want to include more genres into the mix. I personally like action movies A LOT. So naturally, I choose that genre.
Thanks again to DaSpecial1 for the great idea!

1. Don't bring a bullet proof vest, it'll just weigh you down. The bad guy's bullets will always hit 5 feet behind you anyway.
2. Beautiful women always have high ranks in secret agencies.
3. Cars go "KABOOM!" after only a couple bullets.
4. If your in some big secret agency, chances are that you're going to be driving a shiny, new, noticeable, $100,000+ sports car.

5. There are no such things as lesbians in action movies. EVERY woman in the film is attracted to the hero, and the prettiest one out of all of them gets him in the end.

6. Don't worry about being captured by the bad guy. He will always run his mouth for 30 minutes before he plans to kill you, giving you plenty of time to escape.

7. Don't mind bringing more than a small-caliber pistol, you'll find a full-sized automatic rifle soon.
8. The best way to blend in is to wear the more noticeable clothes and drive expensive cars. Even in the middle of the slum.
9. Remember everything about your childhood, it'll turn up as a game show question.

10. It doesn't matter if you're in your 60's. You'll still be able to kick butt and get the girl in the end.

11. Never wonder what the bad guy's motive is... he will eventually tell you everything before he plans to kill you.

12. If you're a cop, don't get too attached to your partner, he will get killed...most likely risking is life to save you.

13. Don't worry about getting shot...repeatedly. NOTHING destroys the hero.

14. If the hero goes into a brick building that blows up, and there is brick and debris everywhere, don't worry, he's okay.

15. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

16. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.

17. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings – especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.

18. The first rich guy you meet that has a funny accent is the bad guy. There! I saved you 2 hours of crap.

19. The methed-out prostitute that's always getting arrested has a lot of information. Talk to her at the beginning, before a bunch of people get killed.

20. The average joe always seems to have what it takes to save the day.

21. The hero's wife/girlfriend always complains about being poor, no matter what career the hero has or how nice their house is.

22. The hero always has perfect senses and self defense skills he also tends to say things to the bad guys that make him seem more awesome mid fight.

23. The hero can take a ton of bullets if he needs to.

24. The average bad guy henchman can only take one. Even if it's only to the leg.

25. There's always a sissy guy on the bad guy's side that will "tell you everything" if you don't kill him.

26. There is always a good guy secretly working for the bad guy, and when you ask him why, he will give you the stupidest reasons known to man.

28. A detective can only solve a case once he's been suspended from it.

29. No matter how many times you punch someone or how hard, they will always come back for more and their injuries will have magically healed by the next day.

30. Lipstick never wears off. Even if you go scuba diving, dodge an avalanche, be in an accident where the car flips over several times and get swept up in a passionate kiss with your attractive male opposite.

31. There is always one decent criminal in the mix.

32. No one ever gets tired of running. They can run through an entire apartment complex and up 8 flights of stairs without a breather.

33. Everyone can always afford expensive dinners and dancing.

34. Upscale, expensively furnished, high-rise apartments are in even the poorest person's budget.

35. Secret agents never drown.

36. Never say, "It's okay now" or "it's over" because something crazy is going to happen in about two seconds.

37. Heroes always have perfect aim, even whilst firing two guns and jumping through the air.

38. Secret agents can swim in tuxes.
39. Female secret agents can run for miles in heels.
40. No one cares when no one knows the people (the agents) who just walked into the very exclusive party.
41. If you're the hero, don't expect to have any problems when you get into your mandatory high speed chase through the city. You'll always have a perfect opening.
42. If you're a henchman, expect to be hit by a semi the first intersection you cross chasing the hero.

43. If disguising yourself as a German agent, it's only necessary for you to have a passable German accent. You don't have to actually speak the language.

44. Same goes with Russian.

45. The bad guys always have important meetings in the highest floor of a business tower.

46. The hero always has a way to get down safely after running in and killing everyone in said bad guy meeting place.
47. Jurisdiction laws have no effect. Expect to be in Germany right after fighting very violently in the USA.
48. The hordes of dead bad guy bodies disappear without anyone noticing.

49. If you're in Paris, no matter what window you look out of, you can always see the Eiffel Tower.

(haha, so true)

50. If you have a teenage daughter, she WILL be kidnapped or used as a hostage at least once.

51. The fictional president's daughter is always 16 and pretty.

51: CIA and similar organisations always has top modern equipment with brilliant 3D graphics, and apparently has cameras everywhere - even around the bad guys' place.

52: Even after taking several bullets, being almost blown up several times, getting beaten up and tortured by the bad guys, and afterwards running several miles, the hero always survives.

53: Your best friend is more likely than not a double-agent.

54: The hero's girlfriend usually is a blonde. If not, then he always falls in love with the blonde/black haired bad girl.

55: The bad guy always has big plans for killing the hero, which always gives him/her time to escape.

56: If the handsome hero needs help, there's always a nerdy friend there to help him, who has every gadget the hero needs, and who also knows how to hack the government computer system.

57: The hero always knows how to desarm a bomb. If it happens to be a complex nuclear weapon or something like that, there's always a user manual or said nerdy friend there to help him.

58: The hero and bad guys always find an abandoned huge building where they can shoot at each other without getting disturbed.

59. Stray bullets do not exist. Except for the bad guys, everyone else will be fine after a high speed car chase through the city with fully automatic fire.
60. The bad guy's bullets will always go slower than the hero's. The bad guys can fire and the hero can jump, into the line of fire, shoot his gun, and his bullets will always hit the bad guys before the bad guy's bullets narrowly miss the hero.
61. Being 20 years out the secret agency doesn't stop you from being able to remember everything and still pull it off perfectly. Namely self defense techniques and helpful little details from 20 years ago.

 1thumb I love it!

61.  CIA agents can be only 24 years old yet surprisingly still have years of experience and be top ranked.  

62.  A washed up, out of shape, computer illiterate, old retired secret service agent will outsmart a heathy tech-saavy agent any day.

63.  If you can't catch a serial killer hire Morgan Freeman 1titter.

64.  You can get shot 22 times, fall down a flight of stairs and into a frozen lake, but if you're trying to save a child you'll have one last adrenaline burst that will allow you to beat the bad guy.

I'm really happy you do! Awesome idea!

65. The hero has a 100% chance of being male.
66. His partners in the organization, though, have a 97% change of being female and attractive.

67. If the hero happens to not be male (not likely), it's got to be a group of no more than 4 females, all under 30.

68. Scientists can have 12+ year degrees, and still be pretty and under 25.

69. Just cause a guy is a professional assassin doesn't mean he's not an old softy.

70. Good guy assassin-ethics: No women (unless they're other assassins), no kids.

71. Anyone that smokes always lights up their cigarette and takes no more than 2 puffs before ashing it out.

72. The hero never has to reload in an unsafe place. He seems to have enough ammo between covers.
73. The hero also always has full mags ready to go. Even in a tux. That has barely any pockets.
74. The bad guys always seem to have to reload in the open.
75. The bad guys also need to check their sights. Being six feet off from a range of 5 feet is pretty bad.

76. Bombs always have color-coded wires.

77. The good guy will always pick the right wire to cut at the last possible second.

78. Every sleezy hooker on the planet somehow has at least a little bit of fight-training.

79. The sleeziest-looking hooker always has a heart of gold and is always just working for a bad man to keep her little boy/girl safe.

80. EVERYONE drinks!

81. EVERYONE smokes!
82. all prostitutes double as psychologists. Providing the main character a free therapy session.

83. Prostitutes don't charge you extra time to hear about your problems, even though hers are a billion times worse.

84. The bad guy is always your best friend, or someone you've only met once.

85. Prostitutes have less problems than most people.
86. They also look healthier than almost all the regular people.
87. The bad guys is always zoomed in on in the beginning of the movie.
(I'd post more in the horror movie thread, but I simply almost never watch horror movies.  :p)

88. No one ever worries about STDs.

89. No main character is ever fat. Only skinny people have interesting things happening to them.

90. People can bleed way more blood than a body can hold and not tie, but if an unimportant person gets shot in the leg, they don't get back up.

91. The greedy capitalist pays with his life in the end.

92. There always at least one smart-alec kid (you want to smack) irritating you when you're in a rush.

93. In war, people have a need to yell even though the fighting is about a mile off.
94. In war, soldiers never run out of ammo until they find cover.

95. When someone gets mortally wounded, he/she will always talk for about 10 minutes before they die...sometimes more.

96. If said mortally wounded person has vital information for the hero, like the name of the criminal or the solution to the crime puzzle, then he will die just as he is attempting to reveal it--wasting at least 10 minutes of valuable time apologizing for dying.

97. People can make bullets that have no fins or any sort of other flight controlling systems curve. Even if it's only a 6in barrel and the bullet passes through it almost instantly.

98. If someone gets shot in the hand, no matter what, you can always see light through the hole...even though in real life, the swelling would prevent that from happening.

99. Every under cover cop in the world has something to do with drugs, and has some sort of relationship with a ghetto-living lady.

100. Some guy very high up in the good guy organization is a drug dealer.

101. Christmas is a popular crime holiday.

102. Even criminals take Thanksgiving off.

103. Most of the action in the world occurs during summer.
104. Someone you've known longer than your wife/husband is the head bad guy.

105. The bad guys are almost always stupid enough not to make sure they're not being foloowed by the hero.
106. There will always be enough passes to steal from the baddies, to give the hero + team access to the henchies hide-out.
107. The las bang is always the biggest! =P

108. Cars can soar over large distances, reach breathtaking heights, yet land safely--all passengers intact and still be driveable. (Evil Knievel just wasn't daring enough I guess ;) ) buses can too, btw.

109. The hero can ALWAYS speak the language of the foreign bad-guy fluently.

110. The mentally-retarded guy is NEVER actually mentally-retarded. He's just an incredible actor trying to prey on people so that they can get him out of trouble.

111. If you're facing foreign enemies, three times out of five, they're Soviet Russian.

112. Never be best friends with the friendliest spy in the agency. Chances are, they'll betray you and ultimately try to kill you in an epic battle in the end.

113. If you and your really, really, ridiculously hot female partner are invading a bad guy's secret island base via beach, she's always wearing a sexy string bikini instead of the standard wet suit. (Sorry for the obscure Zoolander reference. :P)

114. The good guy always wears his most expensive, custom-made tux for the most epic, and possibly life-ending mission.

115. There's always an attractive woman that's had a hard past and is willing to act like a whore in order to put it behind her.

116. The villain is never poor. He always has a multi-million dollar lair.

117. The "hero" sleeps with a lot of people...and will NEVER get an std or child-support.

118. At least one person in the movie has an English accent.

119. The hottest female agent is always resisting her sudden and uncontrollable love for the hero. Even if controlling her emotions is her entire job description.
120. Unattractive or normal looking girls can't work for the government.
121. Bullets avoid the hero like a vegetarian avoids meat.
122. Everyone who works for the government has a gun. At all times.
123. The hero can get completely wasted one night, and be at 100% ready to go the next morning.

124. In the movies, government guys can drink on the job.

125. All action guys order sissy drinks.

126. All action guys think "blending in" means wearing Armani.

127. All our tax dollars go towards tuxedos and luxury sports cars.
128. It's not an action movie if it doesn't have a gun.

129. Everybody seems to be really into jazz or classical music, even though rock n' roll or techno is often in the background during an epic car chase.

130. Lung cancer, STD's and alcoholism don't exsist.

131. Rapier is now a gun.
132. You apparently must kiss it for good luck before going into the battle.
133. Ripping your vest off all dramatical and standing on your knees in the sand is cool
134. Strutting down the beach in 'sexy' manner is also cool.
( too much R+J, gentlemen XD guess which character I'm on about lol)
On subject other not recent action flix of mine

135. main guy/gal is as flxible as cooked spagetti.
136. main guy/gal is never a lousy lover.
137. main guy/gal must sleep with every one other wise it no movie :)

138. There's always someone that demonstrates their weapons ability for absolutely no reason!

139. Museums always have an artifact that's protected by a laser grid.

140. Old, out-of-shape, recovering alcoholic agents are ideal for solving major crimes and may at times be the only one who can save the day.

141. When said agent does complete his hero stint, he gets a free pass to have a strong drink as a sort of "triumph/I earned this" move that never counts as going off the wagon. In fact it proves he's conquered the addiction.

142. All female federal agents (especially the pretty ones) must put their hair in a bun and wear plain black glasses.

143. Of all said "plain black glasses" wearing women, NONE of them need their glasses. When the time comes to get into sexy spy outfit mode, the glasses always disappear.

144. No one ever needs to eat or go to the bathroom in action movies. Sometimes they go to restaurants, but only ever drink champagne or wine.

2laugh @143 how true!

144. b. If they do go to the bathroom it's only to look in the mirror or wash their hands before getting ambushed there.

145. All public & hotel bathrooms have windows to escape from.

146. Randomly when someone opens one of those bathroom windows they will find it has been bricked shut. No worries though, if that happens there will be a way into a ceiling vent to escape.

147. All ceiling vents can hold your average musclebound hero and his side kicks.

148. All tall buildings (no matter the architecture) have ledges wide enough to balance on for escape.

149. The villian always has plans for world domination and/or nuking every major city in the world off the face of the Earth.

150. Nothing ever scares the hero.

150.b. If there's one thing that the hero's completely afraid of, it's nuclear war.

151. If you see the main hero lying lifeless, don't make plans for his funeral or obituary. He's most likely faking his death so he can make surprise attack on the villian.

152. It only takes one judo chop to knock a henchman down.

153. The hero can take more bullets than 500 henchmen combined.
154. Don't expect any news stories on the explosive and loud car chase through the city with European supercars.
155. In fact, no one will even notice it.

155 lol

156. there is always a car chase.
157. There is always a gun fight
158. main character never misses
159. Main character always recovers from anything.
160. Sex is always unprotected and without consequences

161: There is always a pretty woman somewhere in the movie, who the hero falls in love with OR has to save OR falls in love with and has to save, and they will most likely do number 160 (or try to do it, anyway) at one point in the movie.

162. Then said women is never heard from again in any of the sequels. Or any of the movies before also.

163. The bad guys will never attack until the love scene is over.

164. Also there will always be time for the hero to tell his tear jerking"that's why I do what I do, I need a hug" story to his love interest without being interrupted.

165. On that same note the love interest will always have time to tell her " tragic tale of why I have a broken heart/I'll probably never love again" story.

166. Either 164 or 165 will  usually preceed the hot love scene.

167. The hero can be dragged after a car for several blocks, at 60 mph, without getting any lasting damages. He doesn't even get bruises.

168. If the hero is wounded, it's usually a sprained ankle, something that can be fixed with a bandage around the chest, or a small bump to the head that usually bleeds and looks lots worse than it really is. If it's a bullet wound, even to the chest, he's usually back on his legs right away.

169. If the hero is with his mates, nothing is serious enough that he can't get on his legs right away. Not even said bullet.

170. However, if there is a pretty woman anywhere near, the damages are all of a sudden far worse, and she has to nurse him back to health because he is all of a sudden near to dying.

171. If he's lying there and being nursed back to health by a pretty woman, 160 is bound to happen sometime. Probably also 163, 164 and 165. Tragically, 162 is usually true, even here.

172. No babies ever come out of these affairs, except if the hero in the end of the movie decides to quit being a hero, and wants to start a family. Baby always comes after the marriage, never before.

173. If soneone dies, they always have the chance to say some well-chosen last words....

174. If a timed bomb is about to go off, the hero always waits until the very last second to defuse it perfectly or let it go "boom!".

175. It doesn't always take a Ph.D. in nuclear physics to defuse a nuclear bomb.

176. The hero is always good at gambling.

177. Computer hackers are always maladjusted shut-ins.

178. Hot chicks are always smart, snappy, and good at driving at high speeds.

179. High heels is a must.
180. You can open any door with a nail file.
181. you can always hide from bad guys.

182. (adding to 174 ;D) If the hero can't diffuse the bomb it will take less than a millisecond for both him and his love interest to run to a safe blasting distance.

183. The hero will be unharmed even if the force of the blast reaches him. It will even help him by blowing him into his hiding place.

184. The blast won't affect his hearing or anything--the most he will get is super dusty.

185. Action heroes can only have kids that:
       
       A.were killed tragically and/or were kidnapped by the hero's nemesis and
       never heard from again (inspiring their hero roles).

or     B. Are now teens and can't stand them (till they get saved by them and recognize how
        awesome the dad is.)


186. No matter how great the hero is his marriage has ended in divorce which he'll always accept the blame for.

187. The hero's technology guy is somehow old enough to be his father or grandfather, depending on the hero's age.

188. The hero is always in a relationship with/married to a controlling, whiny, totally-out-of-his-league woman in the beginning of the movie, and then proudly breaks up with/divorces her for his prettier and more compatible partner by the end.

188: No matter how many shots are fired in a gun fight, no one ever needs to reload unless it's the "critical" gun fight against the main badguy, where the hero miraculously runs out of bullets just as he's gained the upper hand against the antagonist.

189: The hero will always defuse a bomb with exactly 3 seconds left on the timer.

190: At least one car always gets blown up in a chase scene.

191: The antagonist's female henchperson/lover is ALWAYS an expert of Martial Arts or some other form of CQC (Close Quarters Combat).

192: The antagonist's 2nd in command is usually even more morally corrupt then him, he just lacks the "leadership qualities" to be the boss.

193: When facing the protagonist in a fight, the badguys will always fight him one by one (Unless it's Jason Statham or Tony Ja, of which they attack at once, but still get their wigs split...lol).

194: By the end of the film, the character who dislikes the protagonist for whatever minuscule reason always has a change of heart.

195: If the protagonist has some form of mentor at the start of a movie, he either ends up dead or double crosses him by the end.

196: or he is this young geeky dude with lots of computers and tech stuff, usually with his own spy car...

197. At least five miuntes of the movie takes place at a casino.


198. If Morgan Freeman isn't available, call Sean Connery. 1titter

(194, so true, Kaoz!)

199. (adding to 183) Even if a bomb's blast is powerful enough to level the SOLID BRICK building that the hero is in at the time, he will not be harmed.

200. There is always one insanely jealous guy who hates the hero. Sometimes this guy will even betray the hero to the enemy, then feel bad and try to save him, thus setting aside their differences.

201. 70's action movies always have just one black man that always says stereotypical yet wise things.

202. During the casino scene, there are always women dressed in expensive clothes standing around either the enemy, or an old man from Texas.

That character is what's affectionately called the "Token Negro". Even if the black guy is central to the plot or a main character (Like Chris Tucker in Rush Hour and Samuel L. in Die Hard With A Vengeance) they still have "Negroisms"...lol.

(Or Samuel L. Jackson in Shaft and Pulp Fiction)

203. The bad guy can kill numerous people with no effect. No missing person's ad, no murder case, no story on the news. No one even notices.

204. Chuck Norris. Nuff said.

205. For retribution/vigilante justice call Charles Bronson.

206. Criminals always think they're tougher then the hero.

207. They're always wrong resulting in the hero kicking their butts.

208. Even assassins have feelings.

206. Bullets are better then swords.
207. main guy always knows how to use every single weapon.
208. main guy is an alcoholic.
209. even if he drink world supply of alcohol, he won't get poisoned and he will be stable enough to jump through the lasers.

210. If you're a spy, here are your chances of being British: 85%.

211. Out of all of the bad guys he fights, there's always one evil mastermind the hero has fought who is crazy-obsessed with gold and his crime always has something to do with gold.

212. Also, the said hero's most recent additions to his bad guy list are hackers.

213: (cont. 211) ...or world domination

214. If you're a criminal mastermind, and the hero breaks into your lair to stop your world domination plans, do not, I repeat, DO NOT put him in a situation where he can easily escape (yes, even the laser-beam-slicing-him-from-the crotch-up-while-tied-to-a-steel-table is easily-escapable). Just shoot him in the head!

215. Any assassin working for the bad guy's organization has terrible aim. Even a five year-old has better aim!

216. Never hire sexy assassin chick as a lover. She will always get sudeced by good guy, dumped like trash and reveal your secerets. If she won't, she will get killed.

217. Nine times out of ten, the hero's parents worked for the government, and were tragically killed during a very dangerous mission when the hero was very young (usually newborn to 2 years old).

218. After the hero's parents died in said mission, the government usually raises the young hero to be one of their top agents.

219. Every single evil-mastermind is a loudmouth. When he catches the hero, he always tells his complete life story while waiting for the hero to die, including all the details of his diabolical plan.

220: ...Which leaves the hero time to (a) come up with a plan to get away, (b) come up with a plan to neutralize the enemy, and (c) come up with some good insults and punchlines.

221. Multiple options can, and often do, occur in 220. Frequently, all three options are carried out.

222. If you're a spy, and your superior revokes your license to kill during an important mission(00 status (ex. 007)), don't worry. Just keep going with the mission, and you'll eventually get it back.

223. There's always one bad guy that's bald, wears a Mao suit, and is always stroking a white cat on the list of supervillians.

224. If you're a spy, and you decide to get married and quit being a spy, be extra careful during the first few days of your marriage!!! Seriously, you never know when your arch-enemy is going to pull off a sneak attack and kill your spouse, forcing you to come back to your secret agency to get revenge. This applies to female spies, too.

225. If you have to dive into a dumpster from a tall building, make sure that the dumpster doesn't contain any bricks, concrete, asbestos or other building materials.

226. Always look at the ceiling before I lay down for bed. There's a ninja waiting to get me  ;)

227. Always expect a boulder to chase you in ancient ruins :)

228: Always keep nail clippers in your pocket/backpack/bag. They can be a useful weapon.
229:If you hear hissing, run as far as you can. It may be a rocket.
230: Don't begin to insult the kidnapper, it won't do you any good, it will make it even worse!

231.) Duct tape, tube socks, and a coat hanger will save your life no matter what the situation.
232.) Just because you shot the bad guy in the head, blew up his hideout with him in it, and tossed a grenade in for extra measure doesn't mean he's dead.
233.) That rusty bottlecap you picked up is actually a high-tech tracking device. You're pretty much screwed now.

234. Bad guys may be a twin (or triplet) so if you kill him and then see him again don't be surprised.

235. If you did kill him and he was a twin (or more) expect all hell to break loose--his sibling will be on the rampage now.

236. Really bad guys usually have exotic pets: pythons, piranha, crocodiles etc., they're like required to have a pet that is capable of eating them or something.

237. Of course there's always the exception to that rule where the most villainous bad guy has a really fluffy cat or adorable little Pomeranian.  If you want this guy to give up all you have to do is threaten the dog/cat.  You can totally take out the best friend, kids, wife, or any other family member and he'll still be mean as ever--it won't phase him one bit, but threaten the little fluffy one and he'll cave in a second.

238. If you're the hero be sure to always have a sidekick. You need someone to crack the really bad jokes & stall for time by getting his hind-end kicked while you save the day.

239. No one ever tries to open the door before kicking it off of its hinges.

*Adds chewing gum and a chocolate bar to that list*


That reminds me:

240. If a stranger bumps into you or hugs you then claims it was accidental--check yourself from head to toe for a tracking device/minute microphone. Strip if you have to.

wow, all the movies I've seen has had each of those in it at some point

(adding to 217:) or the hero's parents could have been killed in an unfortunate vacation accident, with the outcome being the same.

241: Don't worry about little details like weapons functioning properly or casings being ejected. For all the viewers know, they could be rubber toys.

242: All weapons including pistols and other small capacity guns rarely seem to hold a realistic amount of ammo, taking forever to change clips or lack thereof. Most cases are that weapons have bottomless ammunition.

243: The hero and or heroine finds him or herself in a situation where they fight some exotic animal and or narrowly escape being eaten by said exotic animal.

244: Neither hero nor villain show fatigue from fight scenes until either one is on his or her back and claiming victory.

245: EVERYONE knows at least one type of martial arts

246: Forget the keys, the hero always knows how to hotwire cars.

(245 is SO TRUE)

Yes it is Senko :D which brings this to mind:

247. True villains have their own honor code & would never lower themselves to merely shooting a hero.  They must use hand to hand combat to prove how superior they are.

248. It's possible to accurately shoot not one but TWO guns whilst jumping through the air.
249. If a cop is kicked off the force at some point in the movie, saving the day automatically gets him back on.
250. Being propelled by explosions doesn't cause any lasting injuries.
251. Jumping through a glass window or door doesn't hurt at all.
252. If there's a slutty woman with an accent that is suddenly taken with the hero, he should run. She's always a spy.

253. If the action happens in ancient ruins the hero will at some point have to escape/save his life by sliding down a waterfall.

254. This waterfall will exist even if the action occurs in a desert.

255. If the action occurs in a city this slide will most likely be changed to a jump from a dam, not matter what country you're in (I never knew there were so many dams in the world).

256. The hero will always survive the jump or slide no matter how high the waterfall or dam is.

257. He may have a female that he's trying to rescue with him. In that case she will also survive those leaps.

258: No matter what the situation is, the hero always has some corny one-liner to say.

259: The hero can operate vehicles or weapons without prior knowledge or training. Most cases are that the controls of vehicles such as helicopters or tanks are seemingly very easy to operate.

260: Every so often, you will open a door and find people doing combat and martial arts training in a building that would suggest that rooms such as those wouldn't exist.

261: Despite evidence that bullets (even the giant .50 caliber round) fragment when shot into water, they can still kill you and travel fully intact underwater.

262: Get creative with your kills. It's not enough to shoot enemies or beat them up, go that extra mile and thrown them into something that will shock them, eat them, chop them into tiny bloody bits, vaporize them, or blow them up with a rocket.

263: (cont. from 262) ...which will give the hero time to escape yet again.

264: No matter how many rounds the enemy fires at the hero, he will always escape alive (if not always unharmed). He fires one bullet at each enemy companion, and they fall like flies.

265 (adding to 264): ...Even if said bullet is the smallest possible caliber that should at best wound someone.

On that same note:

266. Though the bad guy can withstand any type of injuries and even crawl with half a body and a blown up arm to get you, he has a few places you can injure him that will absolutely make him cry like a baby & give up. Here are two of them:

1. Shoot him in the shin. He will immediately grab his shin and fall down yelping like a puppy.

2.  Stab/shoot his toe--same reaction plus a bonus confession.

267: Despite being an effective dirty trick, enemies rarely hit the (male) hero between the legs. That's one of the only dirty tricks the hero is allowed to use, which the enemy never seem to do. It will get an enemy down in knee-standing - not always for long, but usually long enough to get away.

268: The hero always have some physological weakness, whether it's a person (wife or husband, child, friend...), an addiction of some sort, or a trauma in their past. No matter what it is, the weakness either turns into a strength, or gets the hero up in trouble. Usually both (but not at the same time, of course).

269. Everything is either done at the last minute or not at all.

270: Compact, yet somewhat heavy weapons can be easily fired single-handed and still be able to control recoil (like rifles, machine guns, SMGs, and grenade launchers).

271: When under fire, hide behind something. Chances are that even thin materials can stop bullets and protect you (except glass).

272: Glass will completely shatter when shot.

 

273. Bullets deflect off of surfaces a lot more than we ever realized.

274. Deflection rate increases if:

       a. The hero needs the bullet to ricochet in order to get the bad guy(s).
       b. The hero needs to be saved by said deflection.

275. The bullet can bounce off of any number of items to get the bad guy(s).  (Doesn't matter
           what type of bullet it is)

276. The hero will always be surprised by this and laugh checking himself for injuries.

277. Formerly addicted persons will be cured by acts of heroism.

278. Alcohol can be quite handy if you want legendary martial arts skills.

279.  If the movie is a disaster-themed action film that affects California there is one main rule above all:  The Hollywood sign must die.