Insimenator.org

I've had a couple of messages asking for this, so...here you go.

We have a spam thread to fill with nonsense chatter, a thread for posting important news and events, but nowhere to just get what's bugging you off your chest. Is it too cold? Too hot? Do mean people suck? Does your chewing gum lose it's flavour on the bedpost overnight? Rant away!

Before you do, I would like you all to keep a few things in mind:

Keep it PG-13: Watch your language and remember: if you wouldn't want your child to see it here, don't post it here.
Respect: What might not be a major problem to you may be huge to someone else. Please remember this when posting replies. We can't all like one another, but we can show respect.

This is not a thread to use as an excuse to abuse others. Bullying, flaming, trolling and abuse of any kind will not be tolerated.

Sweet, I am the first one to write in this. My rant or vent, is this.

I am sick of people making fun of me, to the lack of my English. I may look like I am writing perfect English, but I am not. I have to use a translator to do so. I need to have an English teacher to read me English books in Hungarian.

Not dissing on Americans, I swear. But I lived in America for a few months, when I was in High School, foreign exchange student program. I was made fun of, because no matter what I did, I would always speak a little bit of English then right into Hungarian. My teacher tried learning Hungarian to help me. And I still thank her, for doing so.

Not only was I bullied with my lack of English. But I was also bullied because I am gay.

I honestly, dislike hateful racist bastards ((excuse my language)). But it hurts, when I try to explain what I am asking, and people still tell me it frustrates them because they can't understand what I am writing, some people will call me out in front of EVERYONE, and make me feel like a moron.

Believe me, it sucks, to be the one that has to have my own mother-in-law, who is Japanese, to help me. She knows better English than I do. So I am always asking her for help, and that includes my wife as well. Though she can't follow tutorials, she speaks, and writes better English than I do. So, it does suck that I am called out for my spelling errors or my lack of grammar :(

But yeah. Thats it.

@ Levera , your English writing , no matter how you come about it ( personally , with help , using a translator) is more than fine. I'm envious and admire you , I wish I could communicate in any language other than English half as well as you do. Anyone that says otherwise is either nitpicking , having a bad day , projecting their own foul mood or has other issues. I'm somewhat familiar with your writing from MTS ( if this is the name you used to go by on there , before you changed it) , where I have a similar username to mine here , just all caps and with a last name added on. I always enjoy your posts , you have a fun attitude and are always wanting to learn more about the Sims game. Being fun/happy and wanting to learn things are traits that more simmers , or people in general, should have , you rock!   1rock

If the majority of the simming world spoke Hungarian , or any other language , and the forums were conducted in that language , I think my post count for all the forums combined would be 0 . I can't begin to imagine how frustrated I would be at wanting help , answers or information about a game I loved and having to work very hard to get that information and risk ridicule because of it.

A few years back my old computer died and I had to try to replace all the cc that I really loved , that I'd lost. One of the things was a deco boxing ring made by FeeEssen that had disappeared from her site. I used google translate to send her a request in German for help finding it again. She was so kind and helpful and sent it to me by E mail. I showed a friend of mine , that speaks German fluently , my request to her and he had a few really good laughs at how certain things translated.  That's just the way those things work , anyone reading one of those translated texts should have the good grace and common sense to laugh with you , not at you , as I was fortunate enough to experience.

I admire your effort and desire , please don't let the negativity of others diminish those qualities. Happy simming!

@mookie: Thank you for you kind words, it means a lot to me. You have no clue, how much it means to me. Sometimes my English with my friends, I will say things that I do not mean. Its really sad. But they are understanding. And my friends and I will go back speaking Hungarian instead of speaking English. Hungarian we all agree on :D

Mookie, thank you so much for your kind words, and yeah, Hungarian is a hard language to learn, but for Native speakers, we are outgoing about it. Well, at least my friends and I are. We try to help the best way we can :D

Well said, mookie. I couldn't have done better myself.

Levera, however you make yourself understood, you're doing a good job. English certainly isn't an easy language to master. We have so many different ways to say the same thing (big, large, sizable, etc)  and many words spelled the same but pronounced differently and meaning different things. (As in "tear", to pull something apart and "tear", the salty liquid that comes out of your eyes when you're upset). Add to it the words pronounced the same but spelled differently ("pare" - to peel or whittle something, "pair", two of the same thing; a pair of shoes and "pear", the fruit. I'm a native English speaker and find myself confused at my own language. LOL.

Be proud of the effort you make and the steps you're taking to learn. I've tried to learn a different language a few times and failed miserably. You would think I would be able to speak French, since I live in a country with two official languages, English and French, but the best I can do is read it. I don't speak it well at all.

I'm the same way with Spanish, to a lesser degree, and at my last job I had to translate several geological essays and legal documents sent to us from South America. Let me tell you, it just about shredded the frail remainders of my sanity, because legal speak in Spanish and Geological speak in Spanish are almost their own separate languages. In my own way, I completely understand what you go through. Try not to let the people who give you such a hard time diminish your accomplishment.

Thank you, Joy for your kind words. I can speak several languages fluently, just not English. I can speak: Hungarian, Romanian, Russian, French, and Japanese. Romanian I learned, I have family there. Japanese for my wife, obviously. Russian because my mum said so, and same with French. >.>

But English, I have not a clue why I can't get it. The hardest language is Japanese followed by Chinese, then English. I learned the hardest language ever. And yet, the third hardest..I just can't do :(


VENT TIME:

So, my sister-in-law, Hitomi came over at like nearly 3 in morning where I am at. And she was bruised up. And we found out that her husband has been hitting her. I think that is what ticks me off the most, is people that hurt others. Whether it is emotional or physical, its not right. It is so sad, that even in marriages, there are bullies. When will the abuse end? When will people understand that hurting others, will just hurt them in the long run? Its so fricking stupid, I swear.

I've spoken to a number of ESL individuals and they've all told me the same thing; one of the reasons English is so hard to learn is all the irregular verb conjugations, and other similar oddities. For example, the past tense of glance is "glanced" and for look it's "looked", but for buy it is "bought" and the past tense of sell is "sold". You would think it would be "buyed" and "selled", but it isn't.  We also don't have a case system to tell you who is doing what to whom. You have to look at the word order. Now, as if these things don't make it hard enough, English doesn't have any system to tell you what kind of word a word is. As you know, all verbs in Japanese (a language I started to learn successfully but lost most of because I didn't use it) have a similar ending (haberu, ageru, daku, etc) . It's the same in Spanish (acceptar, dar, volar, etc).  Not so, English (attend, give, fly). The only exception to this rule of random verb ending is in our adverbs, which mostly end in -ly. Mostly. Always, less, more, too, often and never don't end in -ly. So, English is just one great big pain in the backside.

I could go on, but then you would probably get bored of my nerdish rambling about grammar and fall asleep. ;)

I'm sorry to hear about your sister-in-law. It's hard to watch someone you love go through something so horrible and be helpless to do anything. You can try to convince her to leave, but it's her choice to do so, and the only thing you can do is be there when she needs it. I hope she realizes her situation isn't going to get any better unless she leaves. I really do. My older sister was in an abusive relationship with her husband for years and the day she finally left him was the happiest of my life.

Levera, learning English is not easy. I had English lessons since elementary school, and still felt totally out of it in 9th/10th grade, even if my grades were alright. It's one thing to learn the language through textbooks that only cover the basic stuff (much easier, but not very useful) - but to grasp the language as a whole is much more difficult. I've got the advantage of my own language not being too far off from English, and I mostly have a good head for grammar, but it's still a tricky language.

My tricks: I read a lot of English books, and now I read as fluently as if I read in my own language. Sure, I sometimes stumble over difficult words I've not seen before, but usually I can put it into context and find a usable meaning for it. I also write a lot in English. If anyone reads through my stories, I'm pretty sure my progression through 5-6 years stands out very clear. I also watch English series without texting, which is very helpful. Not only do I get the nuances in the spoken language, but I also get the pronounciation of the words.

But ask me to talk in English, and I still feel as green as back long ago. It's the one thing I really need to practice. Although it did help when we had an English-speaking English teacher for a year or so. It feels much more natural when everything during the lesson is done in English.

But I have to say that you (with or without a translator?) write very good. Some people - even English-speaking people - write as if they've never had a grammar lesson in their entire life, let alone know what punctuation is.

@Theraven: Thank you, for your words. I try to write as best as I can. Sometimes, I wonder if what I am saying is right. Or if what I am saying is completely wrong of what I mean. I look at what I write, and sometimes I feel low about myself, because I think it was wrong.

I get told so many times, that they are frustrated with me. But I do not think they know how hard it is to keep up with English. With all of the 'here' or 'there'. Why can't it be easier?! I mean seriously...With all of those different spellings and meanings...It irritates me.

@Joy: :) Thanks again, for your words. And as for Hitomi ((Ichigo's sister)), she is staying with us. And she id divorcing him. It took us a good ten hours to tell her to walk away, but we did it. So, now, our house is beyond packed. We have her parents, they decided to stay longer. Ichigo, Hitomi and one my friends, and then me. So, yeah, its packed, and sometimes its hard to get around each other >.<

But I am just happy that Hitomi got out when she could.

But thank you, Joy and Theraven, your words mean a lot to me :)

Of course, the fact there is no word in the English language that is truly English might have something to do with its how messed up it is. If you look at any given word, you'll find it's root is German, French, Spanish, Gaelic or any other language. It's not truly English. It's a mangled form of a word we borrowed from someone else. LOL.

I'm glad Hitomi is with you now. Let's hope she follows through on her decision to divorce.

:) 

That...Is uh sad, actually. Lol. I never knew that, I have learned something today. And in this, I am happy. I guess...English will be one of those languages I will never ever understand, no matter how much I tried. :(

And she is. At least, I hope. I do not want to see my sister-in-law hurt. After all she is family...Or am I family to them? .-. I don't know, lol. But I am glad that she can actually sleep, without wanting to scream out in pain. She told that to Ichigo and I...And I cried.

I always thought that it was a courtesy to give your employer the standard two weeks notice  when you are quitting your job. Apparently it's not necessary any longer.....at least not in the trucking industry. My husband got tired of staying home more than he was working so he went out and found a new job, still in the trucking industry, but not in the tanker end of it. I typed up a very nice and respectful letter of resignation for him to give to his boss. His last day was supposed to be on Feb 8th. He took the letter into his boss on Jan 24. All seemed well, he left for a run and got back home on Saturday morning. On Monday he went into work for his usual run and was told that it had been put off and since there was no work, if he wanted to start his new job early, he could do so. So he went back outside and began to clean out his truck.....and then another driver comes into the yard. Hubby goes over to him and says hi and asks where this driver is going......yeah, that run that was supposedly put off, this driver was taking it. He felt really bad, but he needs the work.
Fortunately my hubby's new employer was more than pleased to have my hubby start sooner, but still it took a few days to get everything set up, and find him a run to take. Basically by lying about his usual run, his old employer has cost him one full weeks worth of work, which is obviously going to affect his final pay cheque.
Luckily for us, this will not affect our budget in a negative way. But it was still a really rotten way to treat my husband. Another trucker had also given his notice and his last day was supposed to be on the first of Feb.....his run on Monday (Jan 28) was also supposedly cancelled......
This company (the old one) had more than half the fleet sitting in the yard because they didn't have enough work for their company drivers and when the drivers look for a new job they get shafted. We may only have 4 years left on our mortgage, but we still have to make the payments and we can't do that when he is at home all the time. I guess in today's economy this is an acceptable way to treat your employees, but it's still very sad.

My vent today is that I'm going for my first eye appointment in ten years or more and I'm not sure what to expect. To say that my sight is draining faster than a glass of water in a dust storm is putting it mildly and we're worried about what that could be saying. I don't want to have to turn in my DL because if my son gets sick at school, I need to be able to go after him. Another thing? He FINALLY gets a home worker whom he really enjoys working with and fully engages with and the company laid her off, what in the heck was THAT all about?! He's made some marvelous breakthroughs now that we had a comprehensive team comprising us, the worker and the school and now they break that up?? What in the heck are they thinking? Or are they thinking at all? Also, today we're going to see if we can get a loan in order to buy our dream home, complete will fully fenced in back yard which will enable the kiddo to run and play outside in the summer without fear of him bolting. I hope we can get it, the benefits of the move would be awesome. Too much to say right now, we're about to head out the door, but will let ya know.

Bailybob, the job market everywhere is just messed up. It's sad how employers use the current slump as an excuse to either treat their employees poorly or create unreasonable standards for hiring (demanding a Bachelor's degree in Business Management for a mail clerk job, for example). I'm glad your husband was able to get things worked out. Hopefully this new opportunity turns out to be a good one.

Paden, all I can say is "Ugh". It's a pity they couldn't try to work something out to try avoiding such a disruption in your son's schedule. He can't be dealing well with this. My nephew tends to get really antsy when things change drastically. Good luck with the loan!

Frankly, I'm dreading the day he looks the one woman in the face and says, "I don't like you, go home." He's become so open about expressing things in the proper syntax that it scares me. What bothers me the most is that after she leaves, he backslides quite a bit. The gal has NO CLUE on what it takes to engage his attention and she has no game plan of what to do when she arrives. He refuses to use the flashcards, or the learning games, won't do craft projects with her and prefers to chase the cats down the hallway until one attacks him back and then pins him to the floor by sitting on his head and grooming his hair. Yes, my cats are all addicted to grooming the humans and have the firm belief that feline saliva is the ultimate in hair gel. And she uses BABY TALK with him a good third of the time, despite his making it clear to her that he does NOT like it. If a kid tells you, "I'm NOT a baby," loudly and vehemently, are you going to keep doing it?? No, you're not. She's going to college to work with kids like him and yet, she won't listen to what he is interested in? *beats head on desk*

The loan appointment went well, it looks very promising. The house we want is small yet has features the place we're in now is sorely lacking in, such as closet space! We have ONE closet among three people. We don't even have room for a dining table here or TV trays. ECCCCHT! It would be a perfect spot for a single person and we've made do for as long as we can, but now that he's gotten so big and is making such great progress, it's time for MORE. He's one step away from being able to shower unsupervised by his father or me.

Another gripe?? Eye doctors who only work three days out of a week, if that. Grrrrrrrrrrrr. What is up with that? And why are the frames for eyeglasses so bloody expensive?! Still, it will be worth the expense if I'm able to read things smaller than the usual newspaper print once again instead of needing a ruddy magnifying glass. That gets distracting, to say the least!

I'm not looking forward to the weekend, the mil from hades is coming to spend some time with us; which means locking herself into our son's room and not coming out except for maybe an hour while she's here. Honestly, she treats it like a hotel up here. She arrives, winds the kid up for an hour and makes him mad, then holes up away from everyone and spends most of her time chatting on her phone with her other grandson. Half the time, she leaves to spend time with him and doesn't come back, leaving our kid to wonder what he did wrong. She only comes up here to get away from the moron she married because she doesn't want to be there when he gets home from work. When we ask why she remarried him, all she does is shrug and say she has no clue. It's getting to the point where we're ready to tell her that if she's coming up to see us, leave the cell phone at home. It's not fair to our son when she claims to want to spend time with him and doesn't, plain as that. And when she is out here with us in the family room, all she does is brag about her other grandson and constantly compare the two kids. Sure, our son is autistic, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings that she is hurting. Oh, and she seems to think that we're going to let her use my car constantly once the struts are replaced. Um, NO. Just no. Life is so much less irritating when people use their manners when they visit others and don't act like they need their butts kissed all of the time...

Do you have any say at all over who comes to your house to help him? I would be on the horn with the office she comes from to complain about her and say you don't want her back, and I would do it ASAP. As you know, my nephew is autistic, so I have a point of reference. The longer you wait, the more he will backslide and the harder it will be to get him back up to where he was.

Good news about the house though! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed!

I'm seriously thinking about waiting until the supervisor calls and tells me that the worker has complained (AGAIN) that she can't get the boy to work with her and then dump everything I know. The gal has asked me for suggestions and then has no intention of using them, so why I wasted my breath was way beyond me. We've tried everything from the parents leaving the two of them in the family room during their working time to us having to ride herd on them to keep him from beating on her. He plain does not like her and I've told the supervisor that and if she doesn't listen to me this time, well, I'm not without options. I can change service companies and will should the problem keep on. It's gotten to point where every time she has to work with him, she's either late or she'll call half an hour ahead of time claiming to be sick. (I don't mind, he gets more out of Sesame Street than he does working with her! And then we work with him as well, so meh!) I know the supervisor will be calling me next Monday to check up on things, and she's going to be getting an earful. Such as having them work weekends without checking with US to see if we've made other plans? Nuh uh, that don't fly.

My feet hurt, due to two huge blisters on my heels. But hopefully it's the last time I have to go through that...

Anyway, I'm tired, and really happy I start late tomorrow. I really need sleep!

I am so frustrated. I can't seem to find a job no matter what I do. I'm an AWESOME office administrator/executive assistant and know any company would be lucky to have me in their office, yet here I am, with my benefits lapsed, no money coming in and my savings account almost empty. Today, I've been doing some blind calling and speaking to the RUDEST people. Half of these receptionists have lousy phone manners. They either talk too fast, treat me like my phone call is an inconvenience or are just plain rude. I had one girl hang up on me before I could even get the first question out of my mouth. I called back, because accidents happen, and she interrupted me and told me she couldn't take my call before hanging up on me again.

I am officially at my wit's end.

Oh and, also, if I apologize to someone, I certainly don't expect them to jump in and forgive me right away if they don't feel they can, but don't ignore me. At least acknowledge my apology.

People like that shouldn't be working with the public and if at all able, show up there in person and speak to whomever is in charge of Human Relations at that company. Call back Monday and maybe ask to speak with someone like a manager and if all else fails, send in a written complaint about the person managing the phone on that particular day and the time of day. Also, sending snail mails complaining about the way you were treated can be quite effective. Lights a fire under the arse, so to speak. Good luck! (And no, we didn't get the loan through that particular bank, as an update to that saga. We aren't giving up and neither is the couple selling the place, they want US to get it, which is very encouraging.)

Or leave their problems at the door. When I was working, my mum always told me:

"If you are having a bad day. Keep your disgusting attitude at the door, and DO not take it out on the customers. And if you don't leave it at the door, well, you can kiss your job goodbye. I hate rude people, and if the person is NOT a people person, then why they hell are they working?! EVERY job works with someone. Come on, people! Is it that hard? Can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Easy. Just sit on your lazy fat ass, and get no where in life. OR be respectful, even if the customer is being a complete jerk. Just bite your tongue, and when the day is over. Cuss and vent. And you'll feel a lot better. Because not only will you have a job at the end of the day. But you will also, have the satisfaction, that you never stooped down to their level."


AS for my vent. I hate when people ignore me. I send them a message, or whatever. Now, I know they might be busy. But sheesh! Don't ignore me. Its either a yes or a no. Or it is:

"Sorry, I don't think I have the time."

But to straight up ignore someone. Now, that is just down right rude. >.<

Those are the ones you carry a big stick for. Not advocating violence, but just having the stick can make you feel better. Oh yeah, feeling feisty on a Monday just rocks, you know?

What really irritates me, is how Facebook is becoming a live-action soap opera where a lot of my friends -all of them legal adults- act like teenage brats in high school.

“OMG my life sucks!” Then why did you brag about how things were so great five minutes ago?
“FML nobody likes me!” So why do you have several hundred friends, and constantly post about hanging with your BFF?
“Oh, boo hoo, I’m so ugly!” Yeah, that's why you have 500-something pics of yourself.

SERIOUSLY GUYS, STOP WHINING FOR ATTENTION.  :rolleyes:

People who post pics of their food on Face, and not just their good-looking food, but any food they eat.

Cakes are alright (good-looking, awesome ones, mind). So is "awesome" food that actually looks good and inviting.

But... plain old cheese sandwiches that looks like something yellow died on top of a toast? Today's breakfast (something like cereal and a glass of juice, or two pieces of bread with whatever you've got in your refridgerator that day)? Today's dinner (that looks like something you've scraped off the bottom of a pan)? Yeaaaa... NO!!!! Not the least bit interested!

Too bad I've got at least two spammers (and even worse that they're good friends or family members, so I can't exactly unfriend them)...

Exactly!! I post pics of my kitchen creations - because cooking is a challenge for me at times, and I'm proud of it. Steak topped with onions, beside grilled asparagus? YES. A piece of cinnamon toast? Why bother?

I get so annoyed when people get on there judging/criticizing others. Nobody is perfect, EVERYONE has a past. So instead of judging others why not offer guidance & support. It's much much more productive then getting on FB to talk about it.

Someone I knew loves to bake cakes, but isn't exactly a master confectioner... I'm really not interested in seeing regular cake bottoms topped with icing and toys from their kids' toybox. If you want to top the cake with something and feel proud enough to show it off, it better be home-made.

People think they're oh-so-social when they post every single minute of their lives on there, but instead they just become the "annoying neighbor" chit-chatting over the fence (you know, the good old days when you had to pay for every minute you talked on the phone, and the phone was actualy stuck to the wall in some form. Or even before that). Only now absolutely everyone will know what they ate for dinner, did with their kids on a plain old regular Monday evening, or watched on TV.

What's the point?

Well, duh! How else are you going to inform 547 fake friends that you just took a poop? :P

I cannot stand 'l33t sp33k'. T@1king lyk dis does not make you cool, neither does tlkng lk thz. It just makes people want to slap you with a dictionary.

I can't seem to find a job for the life of me. At last guess, I sent out...erm...80-ish applications for all sorts of places. Wanna know how many interviews I've gotten so far? None. How many callbacks even requesting an interview or a polite rejections have I got? None. It's quite humiliating really. My situation annoys me so much that I had one of my more brilliant/absurd moneymaking ideas today: For a small fee per minute, I'd hold a conversation with you about anything. File that alongside selling ad space on my clothing and getting someone to sponsor my social media accounts for stupid/possibly genius ideas.

I also can't seem to get the first page or so of my debut novel going. I feel like once I write it out a bit, the rest'll come easily. It's the getting the ball rolling that irks me.

Self-image. Mine's not stellar. About the only thing about me I like is my hair, simply because it's low maintnence and yet looks great no matter what. This particular problem isn't helped by my parent's recent marital issues, which do actually seem to concern me and my so-called "lack of ambition." This isn't me blaming myself for anything, it's the honest truth as learned by overhearing their arguements.

People. I prefer talking to people like this to actual face to face contact. I don't particularly like crowds and go out of my way to avoid them as much as possible.

I feel  your pain, Stelio. I was unemployed from Feb 2012 through to July 2013 and spent from February of this year until July without a penny to my name. I have over 25 years of work experience, yet getting an interview was like winning the lottery. Happy to say I finally got hired on by someone and it really does feel like it was meant to be. Job hunting just plain SUCKS and I seriously don't understand how so many employers can demand degrees for even a mail clerk position or expect to pay minimum wage to someone doing the job of three people. It really is humiliating and going through the demeaning process of looking for work really does nothing but make you feel like a big, fat zero. My self confidence took a major hit. I hope you find something soon.


THIS! I have a friend I had to take off my news feed on FB because every day, no less than five times per day, there would be a photo of what they were eating and/or drinking, even if it was plain buttered toast.

Ugh. I've had to do the same with several of my friends as well. "Oh hey, look! I'm eating an apple! Here's a thousand pictures of it!"

...just one of the many reasons FB drives me nuts some days.

I'm not a Christian, but it bugs me that you can't hardly say "Merry Christmas" without upsetting someone.

I don't get what all the hysteria is for.

If you're Christian, wish me "Merry Christmas"
If you're Pagan (like me), wish me "Blessed Yule"
If you're Jewish, wish me "Happy Hanukkah"
If you're African-American, wish me "Joyous Kwanzaa"
Or, just wish me "Happy Holidays"

It bothers me that people can't get past religious differences and see the meaning of the words: I wish you well.

Couldn't have said it better. After all, we're all celebrating our own holidays during this time of year, so people really do need to take whatever well-wishes they get in the spirit in which it was intended instead of missing the point altogether and picking a fight. Instead of saying "I don't worship your holiday so [insert insult/slur here]" try simply saying "Thank you."

Right on. :D

I'm with you on that.

I'm more for "happy holidays" than "merry christmas". I've never been particularly religious (even back in my innocent childhood, when I sort of was), so I'm glad we have a more neutral term for christmas in my language (sort of like the old "yule").

I see the holidays as one of the original versions of the holiday, which was a mid-winter celebration of brighter days to come, and not without the whole Christian thing. That part came later... Although the Christian bit did add some nice stuff to the selection of decorations and songs.

But I don't really mind what version of it people use. There's a good intention behind all the different versions, and all of them mean to say the same - a wish for people to enjoy the holidays, no matter which version they celebrate.

I actually had this discussion today with one of my acquaintances, after he'd been posting on Facebook about how being told "Happy Holidays" offends him because he is Christian and Christmas is about Jesus being born and that we should say "Merry Christmas" because the holidays are all about Christ... Obviously, his logic is off. People don't say Happy Holidays as a different way of saying Merry Christmas, they say it to acknowledge all of the holidays that come around this time of year- Kwanza, Christmas, Hanukkah, whatever else there might be. I personally understand his desire to keep Christ in Christmas- although that is not my personal view on the subject. I do not, however, understand why "Happy Holidays" would offend him. It's clear he's not considering the people out there who are another religion and do not practice the same holidays. Normally, the matter wouldn't bug me, but the way he said it I just couldn't deal with it... If you want people to be sensitive to your religion, shouldn't you be sensitive to theirs?

I agree with all of you, especially with the sense in that last question Katie.  Personally "Happy Holidays" was always a convenient way to cover all the holidays from Thanksgiving to New Years Day.  I still feel that way.   I never knew there was a controversy save media-related nonsense. Whatever someone says I just appreciate the thought and wish them well in return. I just prefer mellow warmth to nitpicking in life generally anyway :).


Happy New Year!

As a young woman who is wheelchair-bound due to a debilitating disease, one of the worst things I've ever been told by others (healthy, able-bodied people) is, "I know how you feel."

With all due respect, no. Just no. You have no idea how I feel.

You have no idea what it's like to fall on the floor, sit there, and cry because your legs refuse to work.

You don’t know how a simple act of getting off the couch to go to the bathroom can be as tiring as walking all day. Without any breaks.

You don't know what it's like to be awakened from a deep, restful sleep by uncomfortable –and sometimes painful– leg spasms in the middle of the night.

You don't know what it's like to struggle every day with the worry of spilling, dropping, or breaking something because your hand might have a muscle twitch or spasm at the wrong time.

You’ve never cursed at the world for having a body that doesn’t work right.

To those of you who have never had to live with any of these chronic impairments, please do not tell me that you know how I feel.

Because you truly have no idea.

I know your intentions are good, and your heart is in the right place. I know that you only care and that you want to express sympathy. I understand that, and I appreciate it. But I personally see it as condescending; I feel like it makes a mockery of what I struggle with on a daily basis.

To be blunt: it is an insult to me.

I am not going to say that I speak for everyone with chronic illness on this, because that is not my place to do so. But I am speaking for myself, and I am speaking loudly: don't tell me you know how I feel.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I FEEL.

Hm. Well I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I can sympathize. I've never been in a wheelchair, but...

I'm blind in one eye and have bad scar tissue in my ears that gets inflamed from time to time. Both things make me a first class klutz, and I drop things. All the time. I work in an auction house and handling the ancient, very expensive china pieces fills me with terror. My big fear is I'm going to misjudge the distance between me and counter and drop it.

A few years ago I was slammed to the ground heart enough to dislocate my pinky finger on my right had and completely separate the tendons between the joints. It bends like no finger should. I have bad scar tissue across my knuckles and it makes me drop things. All the time.

During this same incident my face bounced off the concrete and I fractured my right occipital bone. Dizziness and vertigo. Banging into crap.

Because I'm a klutz and have no grace I fell off a trotting horse and hurt my back pretty badly. I'd wake up some mornings with no feeling in my legs and, if I tried to just bounce out of bed I'd fall right to the floor. When my father was sick and the phone woke me up. I'd fly out of bed, fall on my face, and drag myself across the carpet, crying in frustration because I knew I wouldn't get the phone on time.

Between my reckless youth, lack of grace and clumsy nature, nothing works the way it should anymore. I can live with it, but, boy there sure are times when I curse it.

I will never assume to know how you feel. But I can, will, and do empathize.

Mooncat, a year ago I would have sympathized to a certain degree.

Not anymore. Obviously I don't know how you feel, I'm not wheelchair-bound. But, its a possibility in the near future if they can't get my illness under control.

I empathize so incredibly well with your issue with people saying "I know how you feel" because everyone is always saying "I get dizzy when I stand up too fast too" and sometimes I ignore it because they don't know any better but oh my gosh is it annoying. I have an illness that very slowly kills me when I stand, you have a head rush. I get a head rush every time I sit up, for Christ sake!

But worse than that? "You're young and healthy..." What. What. What. What. W h a t. W h a t. what? I'm not healthy?! I'm chronically ill, I'm going to be sick for the rest of my entire life I have a 0.02% chance of achieving remission even if you don't factor in the other arrhythmias I have that worsen my condition and limit my treatment options. I used to vomit daily, I've been caught several times sitting on the floor of public places, I have to leave the room to lay with my legs in the air at every holiday gathering. I have to count spoons.

If you don't have to count spoons, don't comment on my health or lifestyle with spoons. Don't. Don't do it.

And while I'm on the subject, Thanksgiving... the wonderful time where I'm surrounded by everyone saying "I'm thankful for my healthy family, and for my good health." *Audible gagging sounds* I'm glad you're all  healthy, but why in the world do you see being sick as the worst thing that could happen to someone? It's horrible every day, but were still people.

I could vent for days on this one, and probably should, because I'm not entirely through the grieving process yet.