Insimenator.org

Why do you want an open adoption?

-edited-
Don't worry, I didn't get into it in time.

Good luck everyone.

Kammie - What are you looking for in adoptive parents?

I would like to know how the baby is, even if I can't raise him/her myself. I would like the baby to know I did what was best for him/her at that time. So, one day when the time is right we can be reunited.



Loving, honest, understanding, considerate people that will cherish the wonderful gift I will be sharing with them.

Kammie how can the perspective adoptive parents make this easier for you?

The perspective adoptive parents can make this easier for me by being open to me. I want to get to know you and your family. I also want you to understanding my plight, this is the hardest decision I've ever had to make.

Do you plan on having children later in life? If so, what kind of relationship would you want them to have with this child?

How open do you want it to be?  Would you expect to have visitations like divorced parents?

Yes, I do want kids in the future. Although, I'd like to have some place in the baby's life I don't want to disrupt it, I think when the the child is old enough and the time is right and if both myself and the adoptive parents want to have her or him interact I'd be more than happy to agree. But on the other hand if they feel that it's not in his/her best interests, I'll will limit the interaction to something we both can agree on.

 

No, I don't want to disrupt the life she/he has with his/her family. Just the occasional visit, pictures, letter, and video if possible. I may have given birth to her/him but the adoptive parents will be their family.

Do you think giving up the baby will make your relationship with Blake stronger or less easy to cope with?

This kind of situation can effect even the strongest of relationships, I'd like to say that it will make us stronger for going through it. But at this point, that is a bit presumptuous on my part. My grandmother always says, "What won't kill you makes you stronger!" ,I really hope she's right.

Although you've stated that Blake is supportive, how much contact does he wish with the baby?

I just talked to Blake and to my surprise he thinks that it's best if neither of us see the baby after it's born. He thinks that it will be too hard. Well, I plan on keeping in touch with the family, no matter what.

Kammie darling, how does the rest of your family feel about the baby and giving him or her up for adoption?  Will they want be involved and stay in touch, like you have stated you wish to?

How did you decide to give the baby up for adoption?

Well honestly, I have talked to my friends about this and I'm not ready to share my pregnancy with my family. I know I should be telling them right now but I don't feel comfortable disclosing that information just yet.



Well after the day with Danni's family, I realized that Kiwi(that's what I'm calling the baby) deserves to have 2 parents, and as much as I'd like Blake and I be parents to Kiwi we both had plans for a future. I don't want to be one of those teen mothers that grow to resent their kids for stopping them from living the life that they could have had had they not got pregnant. I know that there is a family out there that will undestand my decision to give Kiwi up and become the best me I can be for Kiwi and any future children I may have.

Kiwi because me and my friends were in the store a while back and we figured that the baby was about the size of a Kiwi at that time.

Can I add something? LOL IRL, when I was pregnant with Sterling, the mid-wife was taking sonograms of the fetus, and at the time (like 6 weeks), we of couse, had no idea if it was a boy or girl.  So I was talking to the mid-wife, and she pointed out this tiny blip on the screen.  She said, "There's your bean, Brenda. See how it looks like a lima bean?"  I laughed, and from that moment until we found out the sex, I called it "the bean". LOL

Awwww, that is so precious. Thanks, so much for sharing that with me. :toothy5:

Do you plan on finding out the sex of the baby, and/or letting the parents find out?

Honestly, I'm not really sure, I always loved surprises.

How would you feel if the adoptive parent's where willing to send photo's, video, and letters with the progress and updates on the baby but didn't want to allow the visitation that your asking for?

Honestly, I haven't personally stated exactly whay kind of adoption I'm looking for be it open or other wise. I will decide what I think is best for Kiwi, not what I need or want, but what's best for him/her.

How would you feel if one of the couples stated that they didn't want you to have any contact with the child or them after the birth at all?
And are you planning on telling your parents, and if so, when? And do you think that they would want you to keep the baby, or that they would agree with your decisions?
Also, are you positively sure you won't fall in love with Kiwi as soon as you see him/her after the birth and decide to keep him/her anyways?
And lastly, you already told us the dad didn't feel like any contact should be there, how are you planning on getting to know your child later on, when you're in a relationship with Kiwi's dad, that doesn't want you to have contact?

I haven't decided what kind of adoption I want, and I stated that before. I will be happy to share that with you as soon as I decide.



I still have time to decide. I'm still trying to come to grips with giving Kiwi up for adoption. I do feel that my parents would ask me to reconsider my decision to give Kiwi up for adoption, therefore I'm not sure how or when I will tell them.



Honestly, I'm already deeply in love with Kiwi, she/he is a product of the love the I have for Blake. It is because I deeply love her/him that I know this is the best choice for Kiwi. As her birth mother, I have to gave her the gift of parents that can and will put her needs first. I have said this before and it seems I need to repeat it, this is and will be the hardest thing I have ever done.




Blake comes from a big family he has 6 siblings. He always wanted a big family, so when he found out we were pregnant he had mixed feelings. He said it was the best feeling he ever had, but we both had plans and we are not in a stable enough place in our lives to give Kiwi the home she/he deserves at this time. He knows that seeing Kiwi will make him want to put all the dreams he has on the back burner to raise her/him. Being a good parent means doing what's best for the child, and that, Blake and I agree is giving Kiwi a stable loving family.

Are you willing to adopt the baby to a single parent or are you looking for couples?

I am open the single parents. I understand just because you don't have a partner doesn't mean you'll love the baby any less.

well said sweet

Thank you for the answers. :)
I'm sorry if you got the idea I didn't listen to the things you said, I just needed some clarification on various points.

 Awww so considerate

How would you feel about if the parents that adopt your child already have children around the same age?

I have no problem with that either, that may even make things more easier for Kiwi in the future. Having someone in your age group to talk to, play with and share is always fun.

im just wondering , what happens when we are done asking questions?

Kammie,
       You hear about women who put their children up for adoption and then some time later after the adoption decide that they want the child back. Do you feel that you'll regret this decision later and seek to get Kiwi back? Both Eldon and I understand that you have yet to tell your parents and wish you all the luck in telling them about your pregnancy. But, our concern is that when you tell your parents about Kiwi and the adoption they will want you to keep Kiwi. Will their insight and opinions on Kiwi and the adoption sway you in any way? Should your parents support the adoption, would they want visitation as well?

Well, although I'm a minor the choice to give Kiwi up is mine and the birth father's. As I had said before, I have to do what is best for Kiwi, having two teen parents who love each other sounds great in my fairytale, but babies need more than just love. They cost money, they need food, milk, diapers, medicine, clothes, bottles, etc. I'll be 18 years old in September. I can barely take care of a pregnant me!  I refuse to put Kiwi or Blake through a life where in the end one or both of them will feel short-changed. I know, that if Blake and I have a future that it includes an education and a chance to make something of the life God give us.  Blake understands where I stand and knows that after Kiwi is born, signing the papers and walking away won't be easy, but in the end we will have time to grow and to learn what it is to truly give of yourself.

My parents will not change my mind. As Kiwi's birth mother I have made the right choice, when and if I do tell my parents. They will support me, I know that.

u have a good head on your shoulders

ok , Im not really sure how the contest works

oddball the contest is in the contest section here (http://www.insimenator.org/showthread.php?t=26629)

Thanks Dese!