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Darlyn: Keep your eyes open and your wits about you Bobby...this
      is a dangerous place.

Darlyn: There's evil people here. We should have salvaged
      some weapons before we left.

Bobby: Yeah....this place sure is creepy....

Outlaw: Alright bitch, what you got in that wagon? Anything I
      might be interested in? Other than what you're sittin on I mean. An the
      boy there...he might fetch some good trade. Get yourself down here boy
      before I blow your head clean off your shoulders.

Darlyn: Don't move Bobby. Stay still as a lamb. But be ready to
      hit the ground runnin.

The outlaw looked a little twitchy. Maybe he was pre-occupied or more
      likely he was on something.

Either way, I didn't come all this way to get robbed by some bozo.

Darlyn: Pretty tough talk for a man who likes to hold his
      shaft... But I don't think you're steady enough to hit the broadside of a
      barn from 10 paces.

Darlyn: And I'm gonna count to three. And by two you should be
      turning around and walking away because if you're not I'm going to have to
      come down there and kick your butt myself. You hear me? One....

Darlyn: Two!

Darlyn: Three!

A bolt of energy shot forth from the staff. The men began to writhe in
      pain. It appeared as though they were being electrocuted!

They screamed in agony as they burned from the inside out. I smelled
      that stench of burning flesh for the second time in less than a week.

They died a slow, agonizing death, twisting and convulsing.

I felt no remorse as I watched them die. I was cold as stone. Two less
      evil scum to stunt the growth and prosperity of mankind.

Darlyn: Well....that was different now, wasn't it? Too bad we
      can't get that cannon inside the wagon. I bet it's worth a great deal in
      trade.

Darlyn: The horses are in bad shape. I wonder if we can find a
      place to get them re-shoed? Giddyup boys, we got places to go.

Lothar: Bad news Smitty...the mutants have destroyed major
      sections of the subways and sewers, and their aboveground attacks are
      succeeding. They're methodically taking the island from the south, block
      by block. 
   

Lothar: And who are these folk? They look...rugged. And smell
      like trouble.
   

Smitty: The are friends, Lothar. No need to worry. And they're
      now apparently homeless, having just trekked in ahead of the southern
      mutant attacks. They can be valuable to us here.

Deadeye: Come on Two-Lou...just one kiss. Plant one right
      here....
   

Lothar: Behold the Great White Bear in the summit of the sky.
      Art thou able to house these strangers? Art thou able to provide them with
      food and shelter? Shall their strength be added to ours? Will they
      shed their own blood in battle to protect us from miscreants?

Lothar: The Great White Bear doesn't reply Smitty! What are we
      to do? I wash my hands of this decision!

Smitty: (thinking to himself) He does that every time. When's he
      going to realize that he's not some kind of prophet??

Two-Lou: If you think I'm going to kiss you, you're mad! I'd
      just as soon kiss a mule!
   

Deadeye: Aw c'mon Two-Lou! We've known each other for how long
      now? Zargon is too old for you! He's not interested! When are you going to
      get that through your head?

Smitty: Don't go into that "I wash my hands" schpiel
      again Lothar. You and I both know we that we need every capable warrior we
      can get. They're going to stay here. And that's final. 

Smitty: And if you give me any trouble on this at
      council...I'm going to take that sword, shove it up your butt, turn you
      inside-out and make a Popsicle out of you. Comprende?

Smitty: Now....I'd like you to meet our new friends. Zargon,
      Sawbones, Deadeye, and Two-Lou. This is Lothar everyone. He's very pleased
      to meet you all....
   

Deadeye: Can't you see we belong together? Just gimme a chance,
      Two-Lou...
   

Deadeye: Can't you see I love you?
     

Two-Lou: Oh, Deadeye...I'm sorry but....

Deadeye: NA NA NA NANA...I don't want to hear this!!!
   

Smitty: So,  Zargon, your friends would like to get
      themselves some better clothes, get cleaned up. We should have a feast to
      celebrate, no?
   

Smitty: And you, my friend, are in need of more ammo, correct?
      That's a slight problem. It seems we've been having some trouble getting
      black-powder in from the mainland. Bandits raiding the incoming supplies.
      I could use someone capable to check that situation out.
   

Smitty: A scouting mission per se. Not a SWAT team. Know of
      anyone who can fill that dance card? 
   

Zargon: I can check it out if you'd like. Give you the logistics
      of the situation.
   

Zargon: Maybe even behave diplomatically! Forging an alliance
      with the bandits would help all of us more than killing them would.
      Strength in numbers!
   

Zargon: I should probably go alone, leave the others here. What
      do you think?
   

Lothar: Greeting m'Lady....I am Lothar, High Prophet of the
      Great White Bear. I've been sent omens of your arrival. Prophesy tells of
      the beautiful woman who needs new clothes, sent to us to mate with the
      Prophet, bearing our people great warriors. 
   

Two-Lou: Oh...I see...Sorry...I don't do guys with green beards
      wearing silly hats. What was that about new clothes though? These ones are
      really not helping the oozing sores. 
   

Two-Lou: And maybe you should drop your eyes a little lower than
      my chest. That tingling your feeling? That's my knife blade....
   

Two-Lou: That's what I though you'd say...See? We're not that
      difficult to get along with now, are we?
   

Smitty: Great idea Zargon! Wish I'd thought of that. You're a
      genius! I'm so happy to have you guys here.
   

Sentinel 1: We bring news from the 
     

Sentinel 2: battlefront Your
      Highness.
     

Sentinel 3: We've captured 5 more
     

Sentinel 1: blocks northward. Casualties only number
     

Sentinel 2: Fifteen peons, less than 10
     

Sentinel 3: percent of our battalion. Better than the 12.5
     

Sentinel 1: percent you had calculated losing
     

Sentinel 2: You should be proud of
     

Sentinel 3: us your Supreme Monstrosity. 
     

Sentinel 1: Will you now reward us with
     

Sentinel 2: belly rubs? You promised us!! That and
     

Sentinel 3: Cinnamon rolls.
   

Why do I have to deal with such fools, she wonders. Other Royals have
      strong, competent lieutenants. Underlings with half a brain, who actually
      understand their station in life. These fools are too dumb to know their
      own names let alone where they stand in the big picture of the cosmos. As
      soon as the humans are vanquished, these three go. Pity that their
      interior organs are probably as acrid tasting as their moronic thoughts.
      Belly rubs, indeed! Someday my little pets, you'll get your bellies
      rubbed. With my talons. Slicing you for a nice snack. Maybe by then I'll
      have younger mouths to feed.
   

Queen Arachnia lays there, deep in thought. She'll need to contact her
      Master, and let him know all is well. After all, her own fate is tied to
      the fate of these imbecilic abominations. At least she understood
      her tenuous hold on her place in the cosmos.

Well...might as well get these cretins working on the next stage. The
      sooner the better.
   

Queen Arachnia: Five blocks? I told you ten!! And for your
      stupidity the belly rubs are out!! Now get out of here, before I rip your
      wings off and grind them up for magical potions!!

Sentinel 1: Ten! No you lie

Sentinel 3: She said

Sentinel 2: Five!! Just for that

Sentinel 1: Noogie Patrol!!!

No use putting off the inevitable. He insisted on being informed of her
      progress. 

She gazed into the crystal ball. Soon the swirling mists began to take
      form. Slowly a shape appeared.

Queen Arachnia: Oh Great Master, tis I reporting on our
      advancing troops. We've taken another five city blocks, suffering fewer
      casualties than expected. Your plan of taking the island from south to
      north is working brilliantly I might add. I'm awed my your military
      genius!

Queen Arachnia: Is all well Master? Have I disappointed you? I
      can do better...
   

Viracocha: I am here. I was not ignoring you. I was visiting the
      little demons room. I would not ignore you. Your part in my little drama
      is much too important to ignore. That city is vital to this phase of my
      plan. Continue....

Queen Arachnia: You're looking well I might add. I've
      sent the troops right back into attack mode. They'll soon have another
      five blocks secured. The humans are fleeing, making our job that much
      easier. Does that please you? Would you like me to come visit you now?
      In...the flesh? It will be better than last time, I promise.

Viracocha: No no no Slave!!! We have genocide to perform here!
      Plenty of time for those pleasures later! Keep your focus!! Many a war
      have been lost because leaders minds wander to their own personal benefit!

I hope that wasn't too harsh......

Sometimes this evil stuff really cramps my style. She was very good
      last time. I certainly hope I get another little session with her before I
      have to dispose of her....

Queen Arachnia: Very well Master. I'm sorry to have
      caused you displeasure. Would you be happier if I sent you images of the
      carnage?

Viracocha: NO insect!! Just carry out the plan! No deviations. Be
      gone!! Else the only image you'll see is my laughing face as I watch you
      slowly die!

to be continued
   

Zargon: Hey Stubby, how's business? Looks like you're running
      low on supplies. I hear there's some trouble at the bridge.....
   

 Zargon: Smitty was looking for someone to come down and
      check things out. So I volunteered. You know how I am. Always a sucker for
      a good cause.
   

Stubby: Times are tough, Zargon. When supplies are low, prices
      go up. It's the simple laws of supply and demand.

Stubby: But if Smitty doesn't get his supplies, we'll be
      in no position to defend ourselves from the mutants demands! He
      he...that's a good one, ain't it. You can quote me on that one if you
      like.
   

Stubby: Well...fortunately mutants ain't the problem there. Just
      a couple of bandits on this side of the bridge. They got this big ole
      cannon, and they more or less take what they want. Don't know what they're
      doing with the loot, though. It ain't like theys sellin it to us at a
      higher price. Either they're stockpiling it somewheres...or...just
      maybe...they could be dealin it to the mutants. Either way, we ain't yet
      been in short enough supply fer anyone to bother trying to stop
      them. 

Stubby: No ammo means no defense....got ya there big guy. Loud
      and clear.

Stubby: Yeah....just two guys. One block east of the bridge. They block
      the street with the cannon. They got a couple machine guns, too. Nothing
      overly impressive really. Ain't ever even heard 'em fire the canon. Thing
      might not even work, but ain't no one ever volunteered to test that
      theory. 

Street woman: Stubby!! Check this out...them bandits at the
      bridge just tried stopping this wagon...and this girlie who was
      driving....

Street woman: ...all galactic like...and she gazes at the
      bandits...and she's got this staff...like a magical thing or
      something...she waves it at the bandits...

Street woman: a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a.....and they drop dead right
      there!!!
   

Stubby: You're kidding me, right? Hey does that navel piercing
      hurt?

Street woman: You're such a perv, Stubby!! No I'm not
      kidding...then she gets back in the wagon and rides away as if nothing
      happened. I had to run all the way here to tell you about it!

Stubby: The bandits with the cannon??? They're dead? 

Meanwhile Darlyn and Bobby were slowly making progress into the
      city. 

They were traveling slow due to the horses needing to be reshod, and
      being on high alert. They didn't want to face another ambush.

Darlyn: We need to find new shoes for these horses. Poor beasts
      are almost down to their hooves. They're horses, good ones at that. It's
      not like we can abuse them as if they were mules or something.

Darlyn: You wait here, Bobby. I'm going to go ask them where we
      can find a blacksmith. If you see anything scary, you just yell real loud
      OK?

Street Woman: Oh yeah...the bandits with the cannon. They're
      deader than doornails. Seen it with my own eyes, I did. My man Luther and
      his buddies are wheelin that cannon off to Times Square right now. The
      underground Times Square that is, not the old one. We can use it for
      defense.

Zargon: That's awesome!! Saves me the trouble of killing them
      myself!!

Darlyn: Er...excuse me? I'm wondering if you could give me
      directions?

Darlyn: Well, sir...I'm looking for a blacksmith, or some place
      I can get shoes for my horses.

Darlyn: Er...no no no...this is a special walking stick. Very
      fragile...nobody touches it.

Zargon: Indeed I can.

Zargon: And on the way, you can tell me ALL about your little
      encounter with the bandits....