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"Your mother is...." The officer said. The storm was rumbleing. The lightning hit the telephone pole. The line went dead. I was so scarred. My heart was skipping beats all over the place. "Who was that?" Delilah asked. I decided not to tell them because I wasn't sure what the officer was going to say. He might just be saying she wandered to the police station or she was drunk driving and in jail. I didn't want to say she was hurt of worse dead if she wasn't. "Who was it?" Delilah persested for me to answer this time, "Who was it?" She was just about yelling this time. "It was Tawny calling me." I said in a very low voice. I could tell by the way she looked at me that she knew I was lying. "I was." I told her before she could ask me. "Whatever I will never understand you." She said like she was ruler of the world. The more I talked to her the more I wanted to live with Grandma 'till I'm eighteen.


Later that night
I can't stop thinking about the phone call. I try to tell myself its alright but there is that feeling that it isn't. I thought to get my mind of the call I couldgo to the mall with Tawny and Alex. Alex is so nice and funny. I acctualy wish I was him. His dad is a Judge and his mom is a well I'm not realy sure what it is called but, she works in the stock market. They have alot of money. He has the perfect life. He has an older sister, Mom, Dad, and a dog. Like one of those stories that there is a perfect family or leave it to beaver. To my suprise Alex is acctualy a pretty cool guy more down to earth than me. I would think that someone with that much money would be very well paris hilton like I guess is another way to say it. He is also the only guy who will listen to me and will acctualy walk into Stacey's accsesories without complaining. I totaly am falling for him the more I talk to him, or even think about him. I don't think He likes me though, He acts like it though. Well he acts like it sometimes but other times he doesn't. He is realy confusing. I Thought boys were simple, eat, sleep, flirt, eat, goof off. I nver thought they were this complicated. I guess I should get use to it.

This chapter as a little adult nature
9:00 P.M.
I received yet another phone call. This one scarred me and I told Delilah who told Grandma. The man on the phone thought I was Mom, He kept going on about how much money he gave my mom. I sat in question, then he said a hooker doesn't cost as much as you. I didn't listen to what the man said anymore. A hooker,Mom, getting paid to do 'it'. I burst into tears. He said I am going to kill you bitch. My life shattered. I cried and hung up the phone. I screamed loud and hard. I hit the wall yelling No. I kicked the chair and hit the wall so hard my fist is numb. I screamed and landed in the corner some how crying. Delilah came down the stairs asking, "Whats Wrong? " She asked as if she cared. " Mom's a Slut who sells her self for cask thats what wrong and now a bastard pimp is going to kill her!" I yelled as I went up stairs. I called Tawny and Talked and Cried. Grandma Freaked when she heard. She called the cops and is goiong to court to get permenit custudie of us. I hope she does. The cops came by. With them they brought bad news. It turns out that my mom was a prostitute and when she was done with a 'client' as the cops call the pimps, they shot her and drove off. She was doing it for three months for money for us and she could live with us because she didn't want us know that she has to sell her self for our well being.. I hate my life. Just let me die now. I have no Mom, Dad, or anyone that I can put my heart into and trust. I wish I could go back in time and Erase all the bad things I ever said to my mom. My mom Gave up herself for me and Delilah and Keisha I didn't appreciate my life or her and the way it was.

The next night.
I started cutting my self this mornig it eases my pain. I haven't told anyone except Tawny about my mom. What was everybody going to say. Alex Would never like me and if he does he won't anymore. I haven't eaten all day. I am so ashamed. I wonder how my mom felt? I can't write anymore. I am crying to hard. I'll write later.

Delilah did a little sketch of what that night looked like.
(http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x58/mydogschatzi/Snapshot.jpg)
Thats one of the reasons I hate Delilah

It's hard to think my mom is gone forever. All the stuff hasn't realy blown away yet. Delilah, Keisha, and I have to visit the guidance consler, Sister Rose, every tuesday. Father Maxwell stops by every once in a while to see how we are and so on and so forth. We were almost kicked out of school by Sister Donna. She is the oldest nun. She is very strict and up tight. She said ,"Our school doesn't need to be associated with children of women of that kind." Luckily Father Maxwell said,"It is not there fault they shouldn't be punished for someone elses mistakes. God forgives anyone for anything." Father Maxwell is very kind and caring. I haven't told Alex about my mom. I think we have to be a little closer. Plus I don't want him to think my mom was a slut (even though that is what my grandma thinks) She wasn't. She just wanted us to have a good life at whatever it took. Alex and Tawny have been asking me about the cuts on my arm and so has Sister Rose. I keep making-up excuesses. I am running out of them though because it is realy hard to explain how you got twenty cuts on your rist. I miss my mom. I want to hug her again. I want to kiss her cheek again. I want to feel her lips on my cheek. I want to tounch her skin one more time. It's like trying to catch a shooting star and you know you can't but you keep on going and persisting.  It's just realy realy hard for me to go threw my life without a mom.

Tears
This morning was my mother's funeral. Keisha, Delilah, and I were asked to kiss the flowers that went in her casket. Grandma told Father Maxwell to do this. She said it was so she could take a part of us with her to heaven. I thought it was great. I didn't want mom to forget me. Keisha keeps asking Grandma, Why someone would kill an amazing person. Grandma realy can't answer the question all though she try's. Keisha also asks her if mom will remember us? Grandma gives the same answer, Your mother loved you so much that she will never forget you because her love for you three was so strong. God made it that way so you all could get threw this. I miss mom. Your probably thinking she acts like it is such a big deal, Well when your mom dies you can't help thinking about her!

My Secret
I haven't written lately. I went over to Alex's today. I talked to him. He asked what was wrong with me because I was acting so weird lately. I told him, "Stuff."
"What Stuff"
"Personal Stuff" I said in a shy tone.
"What kind of stuff you can tell me anything"
I was silent. "You can tell me anything I'll tell you my secret'
"You first"
"Ok my secret is I think I love you" He said. My heart flittered so much I thought it would fly away. "Realy"
"Yeah the more time I spend with you the more I think I love you."
"Me to I think I love you too"
"What is your secret" he asked. My heart stop flittering because I had to answer."Well, You swear you won't Judge me or my familey"
"Yes"
"My mom just died becuase a man shot her" I didn't tell him the part about mom selling herself.
"Thats it. You poor Baby." He cuddled me and kissed me! He actually Kissed Me! He kissed ME! Me! I can't beleive it either. My life might be making a right turn. I am not getting my hopes up though.

WTF

This morning I woke up on my 'Dad's' couch. His house was very small, smaller than grandma's, bigger than the apartment. He has three bedrooms, One for him and his fiance Julia Mary, One for my two older brothers, The other for my soon to be Step sisters. I realy want to live with Grandma though. We went to court about two weeks ago. The judge said my dad has more of a right to keep me until I am eighteen than Grandma. So he ruled that I was to live with Dad for the rest of my teenage life. Ok I am going to explain how Keisha, Delilah, and I have the same dad. Well apparently my mom and Dad were love birds in high school. In their senior year Mom found herself pregnet with my oldest brother, Zac. Two years later they were engaged and having my other brother, Greg. Mom and Dad had Delilah then me. By the time Keisha was comming Mom and Dad were never married. After Mom moved across the country She found out about Keisha. She never told my dad about Keisha. My Mom told us a web of lies, for our whole lives. my dad has a fiance, Julia Mary, or as I call her the evil step-mom. Even though she isn't very mean. I guess I am just bitter as Delilah says. She has two girls, Janice and Chelsea. There twins and only Four.
(http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x58/mydogschatzi/snapshot_33ae5793_33b886d0.jpg)
Yesterday Alex, invited me to his house. His parents were out of town in Panama city. We were sitting around whaching old movies from his Mom's 'Old movie" colection. We were whaching an American Classic 'Its a Good Life' When he put his arm around me and I started to sit on his lap. i was paying more attention to his beautiful blue eyes than the movie. I stared away at the movie. He kissed my cheek. I relaxed in to his arms. I put my arms aound his neck. We started with one kiss,then more and more. Before I knew we were having a fifteen minute make out session. I was kissing his neck. He was starting to feel up my shirt. what was I to do? He then started to lean over me, I laided back. I let him get it.
(http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x58/mydogschatzi/snapshot_33ae5793_13b88764.jpg)
I feel asleep in his arms. I woke up at four o'clock. I Struggled to put on my clothes, i ran out his door with my pant zipper undone and my bra not even tied. I ran into my car and drove to grandma's. The wind from the windows being open messed up my hair even more than it already was. I Pulled into grandma's driveway and ran into her backyard. I jumped her fence. The little dog next door, Piper, was barking. I hate chiwawas. His loud screaching bark just about killed my ears. I made it to her patio. I prayed her spare key was still under the mat. I looked under the mat. Just, my luck it wasn't. I ran to the side of her house and looked for the ladder my uncle Tom left there when he painted the house. I stood it up against the house. I climbed up the ladder praying that I wouldn't fall. I made it up to the top and climbed in the upstairs bathroom window. I walked threw her hall and into my old room. I looked for my pajama's I left there. I threw them on and took of my old clothes. I called Tawny. She lived down the street. I asked her to come and get the ladder off the side of the house. Of course when she got there i stood out of the window. She was swearing and saying how good of a friend she was to do this. Ya ya ya is all i was saying. She left as I said good-bye. I walked out of the bathroom and saw grandma comming out of her room. "hi Grandma." I said as if I was sleeping.
"What are you doing here?" She asked looking at me.
"Well last night I was at Tawny's house and I had to come home so I asked dad if I could come here instead." I said realy fast.
"Oh well don't let me disturb you sweety just go on and sleep." she said. She sounded very funny. I could tell she hadn't put in her dentures. I walked into my old room.

Then next day Alex called yelling ,"Were did you go,  Why did you leave, I was so worried!"
"I had to leave early my dad would freak"
"Oh I am sorry for yelling" We talked for three hours when dad walked into my room so I hung up. I haven't exactly told him about Alex. Alex is in my personal life and if I told him it wouldn't be personal anymore, Right!

(http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x58/mydogschatzi/snapshot_33ae5793_13b93bc6.jpg)
It has been six weeks since all the stuff happened. I have been throwing up and I have been sick and mopie. I went to the doctor the other day. He told me that I was pregnent. I of coursed freaked out! Well my stomache is very large now well a little big. Big enough to notice.
(http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x58/mydogschatzi/snapshot_33ae5793_33c8cb05.jpg)
I look in the mirror and it gets bigger everytime. I am six weeks along. Julia Mary kicked me out of there house. Which she had no right to do. It is my dad house. His name is on the bills. She is a smoocher. Well Alex is taking the baby better than I though. I am living with Grandma again. Gandma is taking it very well. I guess its because my mom did the same thing. Tommorow we find out the Sex! I am so excited.
(http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x58/mydogschatzi/snapshot_33ae5793_53c8cb48.jpg)

Well, I guess I should tell you, yesterday I went to the doctor. I wanted to walk there, hey the doctor's office is only three blocks away. It would be great exersice, I have to get started to loose all the baby fat. Grandma insisted that I take the car, because we don't want to hurt the baby. Of course I didn't disagree because, last year she had her hip replaced and can't walk very far. Alex said he would meet us there. The car drive was very quiet and cold. we arrived to see Alex driving his nissan Altima. We walked into the office. I saw many older wemon. Not very old but in there twenty's. Let me tell ya, you get crazy stares when your only sixteen and pregnent. I sat next to a young girl named, Ameilia or Amy. Her hair was in a braid-pigtail combanation, with the prettiest shade of brown. "Hi," I said ,"I am Katie."
"Hi, I'm Amy." her voice was in a very shy tone.
"So where is your mom?'' I asked excpecting she was here with her 'pregnent' mom.
"Excuse me?" she asked in a very sassy tone.
"Who are you here with?" I asked because she looked as if she was only 13.
"Me, Myself, and I now get out of my buisness" She said with her figure in my face. I was so annoyed that she would wave her figure in my face like that.
"Oh I am sorry, So So Sorry" I said very sorry. There was an akward silence. She sat chewing her gum and reading TEEN magazine. I saw a small nurse walk out of the door into the emamine room. She called out "Ameilia Diane Smothers"The girl beside me got up and walked to the nurse. "Whats it to ya?" She asked the nurse. The shy girl beside me was being very bitchy! Oh sorry about the language, well if you were pregnent with a 9 ounce baby on your stomache, and your hormones raging you would understand. I sat waiting for three more hours. Alex grabbed me and pulled me out of the waiting room and into the bathroom. "What do you want?" I asked amazed that he did that.
"Well I know that girl who was beside you?" He said in a huff.
"Why do i care?" I asked.
"Well I think she worked with your mom," He continued before i yelled,"Ok I thought I knew her, I was just windering from were? So then I remember my mom always talking about this girl with social problems, and was well a whore. So then I met her and its her!"
"WHAT!" I yelled, "A WHOR" I couldn't finish when he pulled me closed and threw me against the wall. He then his toungh went in my mouth. I knew it was so no one her me yell that. But I kept on because it felt good.Then I remembered what he was saying.
"WHAT?" I yelled.
"Well i think she knows who shot your mom."  

On Friday I gave birth to two baby girls! My beautiful daughters Nicole and Nadia. Nadia is so beautiful she has my hair and Alex's eyes. Nicole is the exact opposite she has Alex's hair and my eyes. I can tell they will be exact opposites. Nadia is more quiet and sleeps more than the two. Nicole is always screaming and making noise. I only can wish she will sleep. Alex hasn't brought much up about Amy or whatever. I guess he new it bothered me. I am not interested in who killed my mother. My father dropped by for a visited yesterday to see his first grandchildren. "What beautiful baby girls!" he chuckled.
"Oh very cute!" said my evil future stepmother in a sarcastic way. I don't get what my dad sees in that women. She kept pulling out her pocket mirror and checking her face and her hair. She was more interested in her curly brown hair than my babies.
"Would you all like a cup of tea or something to drink? You must be quite parched I mean you did walk the way over here." Grandma offered as politely as she could.
"A hot cup of tea would be nice." my dad replied.
"Water, possibly purified." Julia Mary commanded.
"Unfortunately all we have is tap." Grandma was still standing her backtalk.
"That will be fine." She rolled her eyes. Grandma went and put a tea kettle on the stove. She walked back and took a seat in her grey recliner.
"So had did the two of you meet?" Grandma was referring to Julia and Dad.
"Well, We were at the health store over on Took street. I was looking for something , I can't put my finger on what it was but I couldn't find it. She i went to ask on of the staff members." My dad said.
"I was working there at the time when he asked me were the...the... organic spices, organic spices that's what it was. I lead him over and he asked a complete stranger, me, on a date to Club Ten. I accepted." She continued. So that is how my dad met that women who is old enough to be my sister.
"Do you want to tell them?" Dad asked Julia.
"It's getting late," She yawned. She started whispering in his ear,"And I am really, really tired." She bit the bottom of her lip. Ewe, Why didn't she just say what she meant!
"Well, before we get going I must bring some joyous news." My dad said. "Were expecting a baby boy!" I raised my eyebrow. I didn't even know my dad could still do that. So yet another day in the crazy diaries of a lonely girl.