***WARNING - this story is not necessarily politically correct.*** 
WOOT! I finally made it to Ishkibibblapalooza. What a long trip.
Hi, I'm Chris Iskibibble. This is my story. I am on a mission to flood this town of gorgeous people with the ugliest things since ... well ... ever.
I don't have a lot of stuff right now, but that's ok. It will all come together in time.
Bought myself a computer to find a job. Ended up in the military, hopefully that will help me find a dame or dude to start a family with.
Went trolling through the want ads and personals looking for a decent dating service. Found that my mother was looking for love and included a photo ... sold the computer and now want to gouge my eyes out with a popsicle stick ... ew.
Didn't have to wait long before the welcoming comittee showed up. The blonde chick is Marissa. Don't like her. Too ... average. Brandi is around somewhere, though not in the frame. Nice flat face. She's definately in the running. Now Benjamin, on the other hand ... nice nose! Yum. Will have to keep a close eye on him.
Still yearning for that schnoze.
I thought I had said goodbye to the committee, as it was getting late. So, I took out the TV dinner, intent on stuffing my face while watching the sports channel.
As I took the dinner out of the microwave, I heard a bizarre noise behind me.
Benjamin had pissed off Marissa off for the last time. They started to fight. Being a boxing fan, it was great having a front row seat. What a way to welcome me to the town!
Brandi thought that going into the bathroom would give her a better view of the fight. Who knows what goes on in a dame's mind? When she locked herself in, she realized her mistake. The fight migrated to in front of the door, so she was trapped.
I was cheering for Benjamin. After all, Marissa was complaining all night about my not having walls around the entire house. Walls are highly overrated in my lofty opinion. Harumph.
I realized at this point, that Marissa was cheating. Dames just don't fight fair.
So, Benjamin got his ass kicked by a dame. How disappointing! And to top it off, she broke his glorious beak!
Cow.
Wimp.
My genes will not be passed on with someone who is as wimpy as Benjamin. First he got his ass kicked by a dame, now he's crying??? Gimme a break!
So, Brandi is now the forerunner. Hope she passes on that flat face!
Hm. I wonder if I can get abducted.
Must. Buy. Telescope.
heh ... to check out the action ...
Sometime during the fight, Brandi broke the shower.
So, being a man, and technologically advanced, I decided to fix it. Worked hard on it for a number of hours.
...
The repairman will be here in the morning.
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