Wow, a mix of trauma and humour. Like it a lot, and glad to see you at it again.
So you're from South England? My brother has married a girl from Bristol. Her accent is quite distinctive.
And writing accents can be very difficult, without departing standard english spelling entirely.
Ef eye wos going two troy to wroite my Nyew Zulund axcent loike it sownds, it wood prawbobly look sumthing loike thees.