BEWARE: This sory is rated PG 13. There are moments of simulated violence.
If you want Genevieve or Guinevere, you can find them
hereThe Beginning, or is it perhaps the End:
As I sit here next to my daughter's grave, looking with cold unseeing eyes at her body lying in her grave, I honestly wonder how I got here. A beam of moonlight shines through my body, and I let out a shuddering sigh. Of course I know how I got here, I still don't know how I could have let it happen.
I grew up in a normal family, in a normal suburban home. I was the middle child of three, my sister Sara five years older then I, and my brother Ian five years younger. My parents loved us all equally, and always showed it. I got plenty of love and attention from my father, and we siblings all got along reasonably well. I can look back and honestly say that there was no clue in my childhood I would end up where I did.
My first real memory was my little brother's birth. I remember being so afraid for my mother, but soon all was well and Mama was home with a baby in tow. I loved my brother, and he grew up so fast. I think that I always knew that myfather had desprately wanted a son. Perhaps Ian was even his favorite child, but he never showed it. Everything in my life was still normal and happy.
My childhood could even be described as boring. My mother would frequently play tag with me, I think I would say she was my best friend. I always wanted my own little girl to play with like that. Oh I'm so sorry my darling baby! But I am getting ahead of myself again.
My sister went off to college as soon as she had graduated highschool. She met her true love there, and ended up staying only one semester. When she came home, she was glowing and she happily prepared to get married. I didn't realize it at the time, but she had accidently gotten pregnant, and was in quite a hurry to get married so her baby would not be born out of wedlock. Her wedding was absolutely beautiful, but now that I look back I can't help wondering if perhaps I would not be where I am if it had never happened.
I was newly a teenager, only just interested in boys. I hadn't even had my first kiss. I was so naive! It was at that wedding that I met Bradley Tular, the brother of my sister's husband Jeffery. He was so handsome, and I was immediately in love. He was an adult, and if my parents had even an inkling of our relationship, they would have stopped it in it tracks. I probably would have hated them for a time, but at least I would have been alive.
It happened when I was fifteen. I had been seeing Bradley for two years now, on the sly. He had always wanted to bring our relationship to the next level, and I had not been ready for it. I was taught that one saved themselves for marriage, and I just wan't ready for that step. In hindsight, I should have noticed how angry he got when he was denied anything, much less that, but I was young and in love.
On that day, Bradley told me that he had had enough, he had waited long enough for me to decide when I was ready, and he was making my mind up for me. He said that he wasn't going to have this time waited and get nothing out of it. I can't help remembering everything, every moment. We were at his shouse. It was fall, and his window was open. The breeze coming in through the opening was not really cold, but somehow it seemed to freeze my soul.
I cried, although I tried not to. It hurt more than I had ever believed it would. Afterward, Bradley wiped the tears from my face. He apologized profusely, telling me that now we could be together, that even my parents could not stop us from being together now. He was right! Now that I didn't have my virginity, my parents would force me to give my life to this man!
I ran home that day, and never mentioned anything to my parents. I was saddened that this man I had loved had been so horrible to me. When he called my cell phone, I refused to answer. I wanted to sort myself out before talking to him again. That time came sooner than I had hoped. A couple of weeks after being with Bradley, I bagan to get sick. I hid it from my parents the best I could, however one morning my mother walked in as I was hunched over the toilet. The pain in her eyes will stay with me forever. My parents hustled me into the family doctor that day, whispering together as the verdict was handed down. Pregnant...
On the way home, my parents were very angry, and I think sad, as they quizzed me on what had happened. In the end, I could not tell them what Bradley had done. I probably should have, but as they say hindsight is twenty-twenty. My father called Bradley immediately, and the three of the went into the kitchen to discuss my future, leaving me out in the hall, scared and alone. I didn't hear much of their conversation, but when Bradley came out of the kitchen, he propsed to me. I knew in my heart that I had to say yes, but even then my soul screamed no.
What you have to understand about my parents, is that not only are they very religious, they truly thought they were doing the best for me. Of course they could not have had their teenage daughter bringing a child into the world out of wedlock. They were full of anguish, wondering where they had gone wrong. First my sister, now me. I heard my mother crying hard that night, my father softly comforting her. I wished that I had never met Bradley Tular. That might have been the first time that I wished that, but it definately wasn't the last.
The wedding was a quick, quiet affair. My parents were too ashamed to invite any of their friends, and Bradley to angry to invite any of his. I think that I was the only truly happy participent there, but if I had known what lay in store for me, I would not have been so eager to say "I do."
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