Author's Notes: I wrote this as fanfiction, about whom, you'll figure out soon enough. This is gonna be a little mature in terms of the subject, so if drug use and suicidal tendencies (darn I HATE giving away plot lines) offend you, I'm warning you now. Don't worry most of these will be implied and not shown in the pictures.  I would appreciate some feedback. Enjoy!

THE PRICE OF REDEMPTION




Prologue


Fear.

Despair.

Regret.




He found himself drowning in them, one after the other in a matter of seconds. From the moment that frail little body hit the bumper of his speeding car, to the heart stopping thud that signaled it has fallen back down against the asphalt road, and finally to the ear splitting screech the tires made as they grated against the pavement when he stepped on the brakes.




Fear.

Despair.

Regret.


It was like being plunged into icy waters over and over again, the cold stabbing his skin like a thousand tiny knives and seeping into his bones. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down.





Fear.

Despair.

Regret.


The events following that were a blur, like a painter’s palette left in the rain, all the colors running together to form one swirling mass of confusion. Nothing was clear. Everything was just a colorful mess of days and nights blending into each other, not sure when one ended and the other began.



Fear.

Despair.

Regret.


The first one made him stop breathing, his heart gripped by an invisible iron hand. The second one pierced his eyes with unshed tears and left his mouth dry. The last one was the reason he was here, in a calm, relaxing place where he was supposed to face his demons.


He didn’t know if he was ready to do it, if he had the guts to. But the one thing he knew, the only thing he was sure of, was that he wanted the nightmare to stop. He wanted fear, despair and regret to leave him alone.



***

Hate.



It consumed her every breath. Like oxygen it travels in her veins, fuels her blood, pumps life into her body. She lived it. It owned her.

Hate.

It saved her from an otherwise monotonous existence. The presence of hate doesn’t prove the absence of love. It’s the same life engulfing feeling. Intense. Deep. Disturbing.

Hate.



She relished it, welcomed it at night when she lay on this narrow bed unable to sleep. She lets it fill her to the core, waiting for it to overflow like hot lava from a volcano’s mouth, exploding, dribbling down the sides, flooding and burning everything in sight. Burning her. Burning only her.

Hate.

It’s never ending, a bottomless pit, a black hole sucking the light and joy and love out of everything and anything and she lets it.



Hate.

She can’t wait until she finally lets it go. She wonders what would happen when she does. Will she be an empty hollow shell, breathing but lifeless? Or will she really be free? She wonders if she wants hate to leave her alone.


*Thanks for reading!*