Life of a Spam Queen Chapter 6 Shes not just a Pretty

[brat1083]

This is Menna the heir to the kingdom of Spamovia.   



Her parents had to run off with her in the night after a peasant uprising. The turn of events started when her father King Vlad the Sprok said “let them eat dirt” after raising taxes so he could buy a pure golden toilet. With the crown jewels and pure golden toilet in hand the expatriate royals ended up in Pleasant view. Her parents had to converted the pure golden toilet and most of jewels with the exception of Crown the Boar’s Snout into cash. They then invested it all the Citibank and AIG. King Vlad the Sprok and Queen Spamo went yachting on the Spamtanic, then tragedy struck, a falling satillite sunk the Spamtanic with all hands lost. Menna inherited the Crown the Boar’s Snout in hope of one day returning to throne of Spamovia. While her parent’s investments went down the preverbal golden toilet she was with little means in the world. This is tragic store of our lovable Menna Queen of Spamovia.

So please give generously to the Muse Foundation.

Ch 2 Ch Return of the queen

Ch 3 Farwell, So Long and Good bye.

Life of a spam Queen ch4 Name of the the King
[img=http://www.insimenator.org/index.php/topic,103503.msg1499308.html#msg1499308]http://Ch 6 She not just a Pretty Face[/img]

[Astral Faery]

lol, that's pretty funny. 

[Chaavik]

 

That is really funny! I want to hear more about this story when you can!

[brat1083]

Please give generously



 A royal spam queen is a terrible thing to waste

[Squinge]

lmao I like it 

[Jenna]

*laughs* I'll actually agree with the Dork for once.

*passes out some popcorn*

[Feisty32]

i apologize ahead of time for being crude nor do i mean to offend but 

[brat1083]

Pledge Fund update. We still have not rasied any simoleans for the muse foundation.

To set the proper tone for this message please open the link below in a seperate window with your browser 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEzh10_xoqw

Wait for it Wait for it

Now that the backround music is playing please read on.










These were some of the early names we came up with for the foundation:

Comical Muse sweetness and light fund. Like anyone would believe that.
Booze Brownies and butts (cigarettes) fund. It to close to the truth and we might have problems raising simoleans with that one.
 
So we settled on the Muse foundation.

  Menna the Spam Queen 



Menna the Spam Queen favorite breakfast is brownies with ice cream on top, see hidden camera picture.



When asked about this fact she said “it’s got dairy, eggs, flour, and coco”.

Menna the Spam Queen favorite lunch is Budweiser, see hidden camera still attached.



When asked about this fact she fact she said ”go wohoo yourself ”.

She does have a Temper, her Roommate Squinge bears the brunt of her wrath. He now hides behind a mask to hide the scars and bruises that have robbed him of his once Pierce Brosnan good looks. He was once voted Sexiest male Dork by Insimenator online magazine. She beets him mercilessly for the minor infraction of having one of HER beers or one of HER cigarettes. She hidden camera pictures.









When asked about this fact she made only gave us the royal finger as a respone.

Then there are the rumors about her and her roommate Eros see hidden camera still picture.





You know, the rumor is “she plays for both teams”. Sorry no hidden camera or video exists to confirm this rumor.When confronted with this fact she said “ I have medical common known as popsicle toe, she helps keep me warm at night ”.


Shes not evil, just misunderstood.

She can be loving and helpful when the mood strikes her. We want give her music lesson so she can be Godess of Rock. She needs the love, the simoleans, and not have to work her A** to get it all.

SO Please give generously.  Send 100, 200 or 300000 simoleans right away to Muse foundation

[Chaavik]

Ha ha ha ha!! Oh, keep going! This is getting really good. 

[Jenna]

*laughs again* I agree, this is too damn amusing. Do keep it going! MOAR Dork beatings!

*passes popcorn around*

[Squinge]

lmao I like it & Jenna stop spamming

[Jenna]

You stop spamming or I'll start deleting your posts, Dork.

[brat1083]

  Menna the Spam Queen 
You guys at the Muse foundation can go have aerial intercourse with rolling pastry. Your services are no longer need with that Menna Queen of Spam took control of her own destiny. She breathe a sign “now what” she thought, that’s when the phone rang.


“Hello Menna speaking”

“Hi Menna I am Erica Howe I work at my grandfathers law firm perhaps you hear of it Dewy Cheatum and Howe attorneys at law”.
“Yes I heard of it” Menna responded. Dewy Cheatum and Howe where notorious for getting the outcome their clients wanted. There where the rumors about particularly nasty temper cow plants that the firm kept in its basement.
“Menna can I speak to you about mutually beneficial opportunity that I would like to propose” Erica paused “can you meet me at my clients condo.”

“Menna nice to meet you in person” Menna looked her up and down. “Alright Erica what’s this beneficial opportunity that you would like to propose”
 


“Well Menna it seem that you have something that my one of client wants” Erica said with a smile “The Crown the Boar’s Snout is not for sale Menna growled back.”  “No not that” Erica responded with a smile. “Let review, the last appeal Muse foundation appeal fell on face to say the least those nasty internet rumors about Barney the Dinosaur and Elmo very distasteful”.   “I Know let’s not go there” Menna could only laugh.  “What does client want that I have Erica?”

Open link below for the mood music then minimize it and read on

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5zQG3Bx0Gc







“In short Menna it’s….. Squinge” Erica said in a very businesslike tone of voice. Menna was stunned “YOU have got to be to be joking?!?” Erica said with a straight face “we at Dewy Cheatum and Howe attorneys at law never joke about a clients request” and Erica though not to mention all the billable hours.  Menna was left speechless then she see glanced curious at Erica.  See Menna was curious Erica let out a short giggle “let me explain”. Erica went in to the details, how her client was a grand dame of Pleasant view, rich and coming to the end of her days and how her client like the attention of young men, she had a soft spot for hack master with Pierce Brosnan good looks and she wants to keep anonymity. 

   
 
 “Alright Erica how do we benefit in this mutually beneficial opportunity that you propose”? Menna head was swimming her though he’s my dork you can’t have him. “Squinge is rewarded for his ump um friendship to my client, you get a finder’s fee, and Eros get that science job she want and I make partner, that is if you can deliver”. Erica said with a very matter of fact tone.  “Squinge he’s my sweetie all I have to do is bat my eye at him sweet talk him and he’s putty in my hands.” Menna said lightheartedly and then began to giggle at the thought of Squinge as some grand dame’s boy toy. “Here’s my cell number call or text me and let me know. Wow look at the time. You need time to think about this, and I need to get back to work. As far as it goes share this only with your housemate and no on else” Erica said sounding very pleased with herself.   

She smoked a cigarette when she got home. Menna head was swimming her thoughts went wild. He’s my dork you can’t have him. Can I even ask him to do this? Will he do this? And most importantly what’s the finder’s Fee? Eros joined Menna on the couch “what’s wrong sweetie” Eros voice was like a fresh breeze to blow away the mental fog that Menna found herself in. She explained the meeting with Erica, Eros listen, letting Menna explains all the details. “You have no idea who Erica’s client is?” Eros tone was curious but non-judgmental. Then Eros buster out laughing “you mean you want to pimp out Squinge as some old ladies boy toy.”  “It s not that funny Eros” Menna signed. “Sure it is we’ll get you a big Purple caddy with fuzzy dice and you’ll set up shop” Eros buster out laughing again.


“Serious How do we do this Eros” Menna tone was showing her frustration. “Well my love we switch off with each other a few times to soften him up” said in her most seductive voice while cuddling with Menna on the couch “then for the coup-de-gras we let him in the middle”. “What if that does work” giggle Menna. “Then April comes early” They both laughed.




Sguinge was happy for the attention. But he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Come here Sguinge” Menna said sweetly “We have to talk”. He was going to be in the middle again but this time it was on the couch.

Eros and Menna played tag-team talking to Sguinge, listen more intrigued than disgusted. “I want to talk to this Erica about this before saying yes”. “Call her and set up the meeting”. Sguinge tone was very Joe Friday, just the fact m’am.
Erica talked to Sguinge about everything except her client’s identity.

“These are the clothes that my client would like you to wear, also instead of meeting here at condo she like you to fly to her vacation villa in the oriented. You will have a round trip tick and some spending cash that for you sign and initial on the spots directed, it a confidentiality agreement.” Her tone was warm but not friendly. Sguinge signed the agreement and took the package.

On returning home he put on the new clothes.

The clothes were a perfect fit, and whomever this mystery woman was she had good taste, also included was a current passport with the spending simoleans tucked inside cover. The packed also included was a mask to cover Menna handy work. In the inside pocket were two cigarette case one was empty, the other contain those little blue pills. Sguinge was transformed.
   

[brat1083]

  Menna the Spam Queen 
“Read this list to me” Menna said with her good natured tone to Eros. “Ok Menna” Eros though it was a shopping list for the store. Eros starts to read it aloud “Brass Knuckles”. “Check” Menna responded gleefully.   Eros started again “Whip, cord, chain, maniacal, pack of 5 locks, Cricket Bat, cattle prod, hand cuffs”.  “Where did I put that, oh here it is check, check, check, check, check, check, and check,” Menna responded gleefully. “Let me guess getting ready for April”? “Don’t you think that’s a little much, lose the Brass Knuckles ?” Eros said with a ting of sarcasm. “Your right, and I don’t need all five locks” Menna giggled.  She wonder what and who Squinge was doing on his vacation.



Open the link below for theme music minimize and then read on

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HE_0ijBgwGA

Squinge was picked up at the airport upon arriving at the villa he saw his “benefactor” for the first time, he let out a gasp at least she was a woman, that had been bug him wheather or not this “benefactor” was really a woman.

“Sorry I could not resist wearing this outfit, sorry to give you a fright by looking like HER”. Abbey Crumplebottom laughed so hard she had to change her depends. “Relax I am not her, she’s an unholy self righteous Biatch, we haven’t spoken since I did JFK. Imagine having to live your life as her twin” Abbey Crumplebottom laughed something rarely ever saw the infamous Mrs. Crumplebottom and did it with such joy.  She went into the other room to change out of the hideous outfit.  She sat on the couch on the beach “Sit down Squinge I don’t bite much and I had my shots” Abbey said with a wink.

 They spent the day talking about ligature, music, and their favorite foods, they ate a fine dinner, Abbeys staff was top notch. Abbey turned down the light and Squinge took a little blue pill and was surprised Abbey was very good at making love.

 Squinge was getting daily messages and a spa treatment; he could get use to all of the attention.

Abbey had been a famous Ophthalmology Surgeon and also pioneered Trauma centers so she tended to Squinge wounds slight as they were but April had not come yet.
The days went on Squinge was growing fond of her and her compassionate soul.




Then out of the blue she asked him to marry him.  Now she could get even with her sister and give her money to the sweet, loving young man and who was bring her such joy and make all of his financial worries forever.  She knew her time was short. Abbey had a new iron clad will draw up before she left Pleasantview as a contingency, she sighed it. Then Abbey married Squinge.   
After returning to Pleasantview the sands of time ran out for Abbey


Erica called Squinge to give her condolence, tell him that since they were man and wife the laws stated that all funds and assets and reverted to him.

“The infamous Mrs. Crumplebottom was so angry she tried to put a hit out on you so watch yourself Squinge.” Erica sounded concerned she like Squinge and Abbey told her in their last conversation about his large sized of his manhood, which intrigued Erica. “One more thing Squinge it seem Abbey had a controlling interest a lot of companies including Hormel Foods that make so you are now the King of Spam” Erica said reverting to her business like tone.  Squinge could only laugh at that, he was now the King of Spam.

[DaSpecial1]

  Oooh I foresee a clash-of-the-titans type dork whippin' *Grabs more popcorn*