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Author Topic: Life of a Spam Queen Chapter 6 Shes not just a Pretty  (Read 20388 times)
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soulofthesea
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« Reply #15 on: April 01, 2009, 05:08:45 pm »

Squinge = King of Spam while Jenna = Queen of Spam?

this outta be an interesting "combination". play nicely, you two! like that's ever gonna happen! Wink
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Jenna
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« Reply #16 on: April 01, 2009, 08:06:48 pm »

*munches on some popcorn* 'tis good all 'round. Moar! Cheesy

Squinge = King of Spam while Jenna = Queen of Spam?

this outta be an interesting "combination". play nicely, you two! like that's ever gonna happen! Wink

He's king of nothing. It's a matriarchal thing; I'm the queen, he's my bitch.  Tongue
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« Reply #17 on: April 04, 2009, 01:52:56 pm »

He he he! Well he is the King of Dorks wouldn't he? Tongue

Great story! *jumps in and snatches some popcorn to munch on*
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« Reply #18 on: April 14, 2009, 06:20:50 pm »

Please Note that Squinge has asked that I not use his real image he has Pierce Brosnan good looks that promotes female stalkers , I am allowed to release this quote “All those female stackers can be scary there is a fine line obsession and love”.

The custom crown that Squinge order had arrive and he had been made Honorary king of the Dork or as the called themselves the Reason One with his newly acquired control of Hormel  food he was THE KING OF SPAM… his new house mate was Erica read the inscriptions. Erica bowed “my lord Rex rgis sus secui et Rex rgis Causa Unus” she said with a loving tone..It translated as king of pig parts” hey the Greeks didn’t have spam and king of the reasoned ones. 


Mode music is here open new window and minimize.
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Menna was not having fun…Sure she had become the Goddess of Rock.

Her first album went triple platinum she had all the money and fame she always wanted.  As a tip and as a tip Abby Crumplebottom gave her this house and a similar one to Squinge…it was right next door. Hey “Menna I cleared off your messages, Lindsay says she’s lonely and will put on a red wig for you. “ Eros said with a business like tone. “PASS” Menna said with annoyed tone.

”Will you look at them there going at it again, in the pool this time? Their like two teens when mom and dad leave for the weekend.  To ad insult to injury he order a Crown and ITS BIGGER THAN MINE. That bitch Erica trying to get her hooks in him and his money.” Menna said in a half angry and half pouting tone. “He’s mine my Squinge, my precious Squinge, my precious. HE IS MY dork, my Biatch, my Biatch and he needs a good thrashing. April almost half over” Eros shook her.”Your using your Gollum voice again stop, it weird’s me out”.  “I am the one and only the one and only Spam Queen. I have royal spam blood in my veins and besides it's a matriarchal thing; I'm the queen, he's my biatch. “Menna said in her royal tone …
”Well this will cheer you up Don Lothario called he’s coming over thought you need to dance those blues away girl” Eros giggled. Eros was great at reading people Don Lothario had hit on her one to many times but she sensed it was a rouge.  Then she saw were his eye were really looking at Daniel Pleasants butt.  She invited home and talked and they talked all night he broke down crying he was out…. Menna greeted don and they danced for a while.

Don stop “whats wrong? Wait I know you miss your Squinge” He said giving her a hug. “Yea I do, BUT I get closer with every shot” Menna said gleefully.”You need to use your true weapons. Not that weapon Menna” Don pulled the rifle away from her.”Your eyes those pretty green eyes, your soft lips, the gentle curves of your body your shwa de vive” Don said while caressing her cheek. “ Those are your true weapons my queen . “You better hurry though their engaged you Know” Don said like he was letting out a state secret.   Menna look at the engagement ring that Squinge had fashioned from the gold from old computers and pledge his love to her forever  and began to weep . “As God is my witness, as God is my witness Erica is NOT going to win over me! I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be without Squinge again! If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill! As God is my witness, I'll never be without Squinge again! " Menna said in her best Scarlett O'Hara voice…


Eros looked Menna in the eyes "Menia my love let Squinge marry Erica, so she a smart succesful Lawyer. You LIKE him hes your dork but you don't love him. Hes your Friend remember that the only reason you and I slept with him so we could pimp him out as Abbey's boy toy. So he's happily married to Erica that does mean you can't abuse him and now with all that money he will have all good stuff tha you can "barrow" from him of all the good stuff. Choclate truffles, top shelf liquor, sweets and take all his beer". Eros strated to gentle brush Mennas hair "besides now we have each other all to our selves" Eros kissed Menna...
Meena smiled as she lead Eros upstair...
   
« Last Edit: May 03, 2009, 03:45:18 pm by brat1083 » Logged
Naria
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« Reply #19 on: April 14, 2009, 06:55:03 pm »

LOL Brat, Jenna is gonna lock you in the basement indefinitely for suggesting she would care so much about Squinge.  Wink

Also, I want a scene in the front of a boat with Squinge saying he's the king of the spam.  Cheesy
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« Reply #20 on: May 04, 2009, 09:29:22 pm »

mood music  Wait for the vocals




Menna invited Squinge over and took him upstairs to her new play room.She then using Velociraptor fight grip she wrestled him into the stocks.



 “Ok with the drugs and pain inducted from my Wisdom teeth I had a week moment thinking of you more that a hack master and frienemy” she said as in a Freindly voice. Then Menna tone change like a Master scolding a puppy but
'hat Crown was over the top, you’re my biach and always remember that. Right you own that king of spam that loathsome meat. I am Menna Queen of Internet Spam and I am a royal” with that Menna said in her regal tone, then she cracked her whip on Squinge to emphasize the point.



“ I don’t care that I am a world famous Rock Goddess now, but your richer than me now. Where is my tribute? You haven’t given me and Chocolate, Vodka, Liquor, Sweets and Cigarettes?” Menna cracked her whip on Squinge one more time.  “No you haven’t you a very bad Hack master and have to be punished, I am beautiful Spam Queen and what have you given me lately. NOT A DAMN Thing other than a hard time” 



Chase your Erica all you want you can have her, but remember you will always be my Beatch…  With that Menna liberated Squinge flask of 50 year old Brandy and his cigarettes.   "Thank you Squinge" Menna siad with her soft sweet voice as she drunk the brandy down. "I want a case of this by tomorrow. Now go"

« Last Edit: May 04, 2009, 09:55:33 pm by brat1083 » Logged
DaSpecial1
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« Reply #21 on: May 04, 2009, 10:17:25 pm »

So little damage so much time Laugh2. I'm not so sure that Jenna would be satisfied with that wee bit of punishment. Tee Hee

Naria ROFL I totally see squinge standing at the front end of a boat holding his lapel in a captain's suit, pilot cap, & a crown on top--like Jerry Lewis in the Family Jewels.   Keep it coming brat.   Jenna------->Star Wars<----Squinge
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« Reply #22 on: May 08, 2009, 12:59:07 pm »

 shocked I have a question for Jenna - do you consider yourself EBIL or just plain evil?
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« Reply #23 on: May 08, 2009, 04:27:07 pm »

 Poke

The story is definitely getting better and better!  Grin
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« Reply #24 on: May 16, 2009, 08:03:34 pm »

in my opinion, menna looks soooo frickin' hot with that hairstyle and leather outfit! how totally 80s! still can't compete with Ann Wilson in the 80s, though Tongue just remember, your worship, now that you're a rock goddess, i'm a songwriter for hire if you need one Wink
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brat1083
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« Reply #25 on: May 17, 2009, 01:44:34 am »

Eros return from her trip to visit family Menna hated her absents, one she really like playing with Eros, two Eros loved her family but her family did like her choices.  Her grandmother ragged on her to find a nice young man and settle down. Eros was a good for Menna, keeping her from committing felonies. There some those rumor about a cow plant in an old warehouse and a basement there where she torture Jedi and politicians and just people that pissed her off.  Eros made her some brownies and feed them to Menna.  Eating those Brownies brought back fond memories of childhood to Menna, and her favorite game, Mafia, the other kids gave her all their stuff or she whack them with a stick.  It made Menna teary eyed for the good old days, then she remember another favorite game castration dodge ball.

“What are those barrels” Eros asked.  “Squinge came through with his gifts, no brandy but a couple of cases of Cigarettes and barrels of Jack Daniels Silver Select” Eros started crying and her voice changed, “Not that stuff I hate it,  I never told you that my family once owned  that company she” said with a southern girl accent.  Menna never heard her talk that way. Menna kissed her and told her that she missed her. Menna almost used the L word…  Eros had been to MIT and a Rhode scholar.  She was into science and she wanted something more of Menna. “What is Eros” Menna asked. “Just hold me” Eros said embracing Menna. 



Menna actual had a soft heart but hide it under a layer of sarcasm and tough girl exterior.  With Eros she felt safe enough to let her into her into that space. Mode Music
Squinge Mean while was having a nice afternoon with his new love Erica. Erica was reviewing Squinge expense, most where to charities. Then she ran across the expense to Menna.”What’s this Squinge” Erica pointed at the print out of the bank statement and using that “your busted tone” that girlfriends use. “What hold does she on you” It a long story. Erica tried a new tact. She crawled up in Squinge lap kissed him gentle on the cheek and blew into ear softly; the she sucked his earlobe into her mouth. Then she clamp down on it hard and talking through her teeth said “Tell or lose the lobe”. Squinge sighed “It no accident the Brat moved into the neighborhood. Since my new wealth after my liaison with Abbey brats here to watch over me, cover my back so to speak.

"It all started with Menna in the fifth grade here father had just be deposed.  Well Menna was new in school she had a regal tone. None of the other kids like her and picked on her, I talked to her, she a smart person you know, and I was a tolerable annoyance see said according to her. The other kids continued to pick on her until the she learned the meaning of diplomatic immunity. Do you know that she can castration a guy with a dodge ball? I seen it happen, she had a new game Mafia. Well I had my first kiss in 6th grade really a peck on the just cheek with her, then I played doctor with her and I got my first knee to the groan.  Time passed and we grew up.

Well she went on to school at Cambridge and I went to Sim State I meant this crazy pair a Brat and Zordac one time they ran across the board into Mexico got stuck on the bridge at the border.  They had been robbed while over there when they were drunk and passed out. So to prove they were Americans and still half lit they sang the nation anthem where only their boxers standing on the roof of the car.

 I liked them but they got into too much mischief together. Like the time Zordac and brat train those donkeys to do synchronized swimming and enter them as the team from Strange Town and they place 2nd in nationals. The Synchronized Swimming association had to change the rules to only humans.
We graduated. 

 I was recruited by SCIA to do computer work, Zordac went into communications for the army brat flew for the Air Force. We had to go behind Red City curtain brat wanted to come but that damn Texas accent of his sticks out like a sore thumb. Zordac looked like a young Cary Grant and me like a Pierce Brosnan good was a dead give-away we were agents so we were caught. Jenna used her diplomatic immunity and contacts to help us escape. In retaliation that satellite that killed her parents was aimed at them. Menna had gone ashore to on a cigarette run that the only thing that saved her. So that’s our store. So I own her me life…"     
« Last Edit: May 17, 2009, 12:52:46 pm by brat1083 » Logged
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« Reply #26 on: May 17, 2009, 06:36:35 am »

Lol! Great. We find out she has a soft side.

Your secret's out, Jenna!
What next? If this goes on, soon she handing out sweets to Erica and giving Squinge his cigarettes back! :O
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brat1083
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« Reply #27 on: May 21, 2009, 11:49:25 pm »

Mode Music


Jenna embraced Eros You know Eros "I love you" somehow those words could be hard for Menna to say but "what was that you wanted from me"Menna asked.



Well I found some of Mort Goths notes but it’s hard to make out he was trying to clone Bella. Well he came up with a time space machine he called the InSim I rebuilt it but I have some problems with the coding in the software, and I am having problems decipher his notes. I read his notes right I can have our baby. Menna was taken back, but she knew that the any of their babies would be cute. "Will that machine make that allow that to get pregnant" Menna asked? "Yes but I need someone that’s better at coding than me to fix the program and Cassandra to help decipher Mortimer’s notes" Eros responded. Menna pick up her cell phone she dial Squinge  "I don’t care if it’s late SHTFU, did I say you could talk, here is what you are doing tomorrow, you are going to give Eros a hand debugging code, why because The bored, drunk, hot girl demands it. That’s why. Remember,  to quote you your  my Biatch". Menna turned to Eros, "Squinge said he love to help" she said with a grin. Menna start to dial Cassandra  "No" Eros  protested "Remember she has those darling little girls now. I would want to wake them."

Squinge showed up the unit he went through the code and cleaned it up.



Then Cassandra showed up "Eros you really built it dad got it to work but the aliens kept breaking in and sabotage the unit. I guess the were embaress that they drop mom in strange town."

IMG]http://i700.photobucket.com/albums/ww10/brat1083/ch6/cchat.jpg[/IMG]

Eros replied "Yea but it comes up and I sparks in the wave guide coils.  Cassandra thought for a minute she looked at the notes check the wiring Oh dad never was the best draftsman but there the this is earth ground not chassis  ground, you use earth ground tact as a shut for the flux field , or you build up a excess stray voltage causing arching. Menna was watching "And the gonkulator goes to the flux capacitor Shesss you girls talking shop every time I get you together."  "Why did you build this Eros" Cassandra asked. So I could have Menna’s and my baby.


 
Menna walk over to Squinge and kick him in the shin. “Ouch Biatch what was that for? ”Squinge protest Because I felt like it and you are my Biatch. And you say anything of what went on here and I will feed to the rats in my basement Menna said".



Then she kick him again stroke his check and said lovingly "you were busy in April so I couldn’t beat you the so you owe me" she stole his flask of wiskey and downed it and liberated his pack of cigarettes. "You forgot to send me that brandy you promise" Menna kick the good shin. “Ouch Biatch, hey your Rock goddess fansite is buying the brandy for you. Zordac and I setup a web site for that and the proceeds go to your booze cigs and chocolate habit. Now your on t-shirts all over the world.special down loads all that Shite. Brat sent over some browns for you he ate one just to prove to me they weren’t laced with anything” Squinge limped for the door. 

Cassandra spoke up “Eros I am a doctor now I can handle the delivery and Menna once Eros is pregnant no smoking in the house".

IMG]http://i700.photobucket.com/albums/ww10/brat1083/ch6/tech.jpg[/IMG]

 Menna protested "I don’t smoke that much."  Cassandra look at her "as compared to what a coal burning power plant in China?" Cassandra explain the how the unit should work. "Once you’re your pregnant you can speed up the process with the unit with no ill effect to you or the baby".
« Last Edit: May 23, 2009, 01:51:42 pm by brat1083 » Logged
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« Reply #28 on: May 22, 2009, 10:07:01 am »

Emotional. I look forward to more Spquinge-bashing.
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« Reply #29 on: May 22, 2009, 08:22:19 pm »

...and pictures, since, ahem, they're a requirement when posting stories. Tongue

*pokes brat with her cattle prod*

And yes, MOAR Squinge-bashing. Menna, er I mean...Jenna demands it.Cheesy

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