Insimenator.org
March 28, 2024, 10:37:01 am *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News:
 
  Home   Forum   Help Search Calendar Login Register  
Pages: [1]
  Print  
Author Topic: Toiture' Story  (Read 3262 times)
0 Members and 1 Chinese Bot are viewing this topic.
CVK418
Member

Gender: Female
Posts: 15


Hi i'm Crystal and I LOVE the sims 2!!


View Profile
« on: April 12, 2009, 05:13:43 pm »

my computer crashed had to reformat lost all my sims and have no idea where i got all the character custom content..sorry no more toiture story Sad
« Last Edit: April 24, 2009, 10:58:29 am by CVK418 » Logged


when life gives you lemons
make grape juice! ..and confuse everyone
^_^
Zorom
Member

Gender: Female
Posts: 319



View Profile
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2009, 07:01:01 am »

WELL! It's up! Ok. If you wanna carry on the movie script way, fine, but it's a bit easier to understand if it's just normal.

Your pictures are beautiful! Type in this cheat - plumbbobtoggle off       to get rid of that green thing, works wonders. And make sure that your walls are up in every shot, kay? After all, we can't actually see through walls!  shocked *i wish*

Your writing is great - you use great phrases. But remember, a capital letter at the start of each sentence and at the start of someone's name, and a full stop at the end of each sentence. You'll do just fine if you remember these simple rules.

Apart from that, it's perfect! I cannot WAIT for the next chapter! Well done on getting this up, by the way.  Grin I'm here waiting for your next update! Smiley Smiley
Logged

milie529
Member

Gender: Female
Posts: 51



View Profile
« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2009, 11:05:46 am »

You can also count on me for the next update!  Grin I wanna know what's gonna happen with Rebecca and Joey

And I agree with Zorom. You should use the advice, it will make the story even more beautiful!
Logged

Carpe Diem!
Seize the day, life's too short!
Cueille le jour présent, en te fiant le moins possible au lendemain. La vie est trop courte pour ne pas en profiter.
CVK418
Member

Gender: Female
Posts: 15


Hi i'm Crystal and I LOVE the sims 2!!


View Profile
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2009, 01:25:47 pm »

yay i'm so glad some people like it..sorry about the walls and plumbob and punctuation things..like i said..i'm SO new..lol..but thanks for all the tips and i'll defintly employ them in Chapter two (may be a bit longer till its up since i'm gonna have to rewrite it hehe) but thanks again and keep an eye out for my updated byee *hugs*
Logged


when life gives you lemons
make grape juice! ..and confuse everyone
^_^
Stelio Kontos
Resident Reptilian
Loot Looker
****
Gender: Male
Posts: 911



View Profile
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2009, 01:28:06 pm »

You wanted to waste no time at all getting people into your story, did you?
(I have no issues with that. As a matter of fact, I like that in a way.)

Suggestions for improvements already mentioned by someone else. Walls up, plumbbobtoggle off, showheadlines off, some sentence structure modifications, and you're good to go.

All in all, a good to great start.
Logged
CVK418
Member

Gender: Female
Posts: 15


Hi i'm Crystal and I LOVE the sims 2!!


View Profile
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2009, 02:57:31 pm »

thanks!..i have some good news and i have some bad news..goodnews:i'v changed the sentence structure and writing style..buuut..badnews: i had already taken all the pictures..so the plumbobs are still there (i'll try to photoshop them out somehow) and the walls are down..its a bad habit of mine..so bear with me and i hope you like my update coming soon *crosses* fingers
Logged


when life gives you lemons
make grape juice! ..and confuse everyone
^_^
Pages: [1]
  Print  
 
Jump to:  


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.024 seconds with 30 queries.
SimplePortal 2.1.1