Insimenator.org
March 29, 2024, 02:45:06 am *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News:
 
  Home   Forum   Help Search Calendar Login Register  
Pages: [1]
  Print  
Author Topic: Some of my latest writing!  (Read 2589 times)
0 Members and 1 Chinese Bot are viewing this topic.
Carlwashere
Irrationally Optimistic
Site Santa!
*
Gender: Male
Posts: 543



View Profile
« on: September 30, 2009, 09:29:11 pm »

Well, ever since being randomly determined to write a full length book, I've been writing in my free time the past week or so. When it became time to write about one of my character's family history, I typed this up. To be honest, I was pretty saddened about writing it. But, I don't know, tell me what you think. I'll be honest here, regardless of what you believe in a religious aspect, you should agree it's a good way to find closure on many things.

Any tips to improve my writing would be great.
P.s. I showed this to a friend of mine, uhh... she cried a bit. Oops.  Undecided

"Daniel’s parents were also both very caring. His mom worked as a jeweler, her life’s dream. His dad worked as a doctor in the E.R., and frequently worked late hours.  It was a stressful job, but coming home to his family always reassured him that it was worth it. Daniel and his sister, who was 3 years older than him, always greeted him at the door when they could. Daniel’s mom always greeted at the door, and if Daniel and Katelyn were sleeping, it was a romantic greeting. She would be in the living room, reading or looking at photo albums to pass the time. When she heard the lock turn, she’d walk to the door and greet him with a romantic hug and a soft kiss. Katelyn and Daniel adored their father, and Daniel ultimately decided to follow in his footsteps. But, when Daniel was only 6, his dad was killed by a drunk driver one night after a long shift. Not soon after, his mom fell into a deep depression that lasted for several years. Daniel and his older sister, Katelyn, tried their best to cheer her up, and occasionally got a smile from her. Other times, she would see something in the two of them that reminded her of her husband, which would just drop her deeper into depression. Daniel and Katelyn both turned into very caring people, even at their young age. Still, the two of them couldn’t pull her out of depression, as much as they wanted too. Eventually, the two turned towards the local church for advice. Slowly, the two kids convinced her to just try it out. Daniel’s mom found support in the caring church community. As the years passed, she slowly dragged herself out of her 5 year depression. She realized that she needed to be strong to raise her kids and what happened back then, happened. She couldn’t change that. Daniel’s mom knew she could only change what happened now. After that, she did her best to raise her kids. Since both of them are now out on their own, she now spends her time doing charity work at her church. Taking up her personal time looking through photo albums, much in the same way she waited for him on those late night shifts, reminiscing on how life was before her husband met his early demise and her children’s childhood. She doesn’t place blame on anyone for what happened; she only blames herself for grieving for so long. She blames herself for relying on her children, making them grow up much faster than they should have, feeling she deprived them of a proper childhood. She still spends nights flipping through the freshly moist pages of photo albums, much like the way she did while waiting for him to come home. Now devoted to God, this youthful 63-year old grandmother yearns for the day she gets greeted by her one true love’s embrace at Heaven’s gate."
« Last Edit: October 01, 2009, 06:10:06 pm by Carlwashere » Logged

I need more freetime.
Katie
0BretttterB0
Member

Gender: Female
Posts: 2237


<3


View Profile WWW
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2009, 08:31:02 pm »

That is so sad, but it's phenomenal. Amazing. I am thoroughly Shocked at how good this is. I never thought that I would read something that was as good as LFB, but this is pretty close if not tied. Bravo.
Logged

Find me on moonlight <3
Carlwashere
Irrationally Optimistic
Site Santa!
*
Gender: Male
Posts: 543



View Profile
« Reply #2 on: October 01, 2009, 08:36:00 pm »

Thanks, I just started this story on impulse, about a week or two ago.
Logged

I need more freetime.
Katie
0BretttterB0
Member

Gender: Female
Posts: 2237


<3


View Profile WWW
« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2009, 08:46:14 pm »

I really really liked it, Glad you shared!  Cheesy
Logged

Find me on moonlight <3
Pages: [1]
  Print  
 
Jump to:  


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.048 seconds with 30 queries.
SimplePortal 2.1.1