Re: The Dumbest Thing Your Spouse/SO has Ever Said or Done

[SenkoTwiik]

Hahaha, Oh my goodness!

Mine lost both his wallet and his car keys (seperate occasion) in the same way. When he lost his wallet, he thought he put it back into his pocket when we got out of the bank, but later, he couldn't find it. We went back to every stop we made in town after the bank, asking everyone if they have seen his wallet. All said no. When he got back into the car, his keys were in the side console of the door! He must have mistaken it for his pocket. The same exact thing happened with the car keys months later. He was in the Bronco and had his car keys in his pocket. They fell in the console and we were looking two days for them!

[DaSpecial1]

This morning:

Me:  "I need some eyedrops when you go out ok?"

Sp:   "Aw you know I hate buying things around here, they're always so overpriced."

Me:  "Yep that's why I asked you to pick them up from Walmart when you went to town Thursday...my allergies are too
        active to go without them again today."

Sp:  "Thursday? I don't remember you telling me that--you probably should have made a list for me."

Me:  "A list with one thing on it?"

Sp:  "Well yeah in case I forget during the day."

Me:  "Um I did that last week somehow it didn't quite work out."

Sp:   "Only because I was in a rush, I forgot it.  Just remind me next time."

Me:   "So you want me to remind you to take the list before you leave?"

Sp:   "Sure."

Me:   "Ok I'll try to remind myself to remind you to take the list with you when you go to town this week. Just don't
         forget to pick them up when you go out today."

SP:    "Pick up what?"                  me----->

[SenkoTwiik]

Haha, I have one my husband did while we were watching Family Guy. During the episode, there was a back in time skit of two Jewish men building the pyramids for the Egyptians (biblical stuff). The one Jewish man says to the other that "All cultures will have a time of hardship. We Jews are getting ours out of the way early. From here on, It's going to be nothing but smooth sailing."

Brandon sits there for a minute and then says, "You know, that's true. The Jews have done pretty good for themselves since then."

I just looked at him for a second and was like, "Yeah...except the Halocaust..."

He sat there for a second, then slapped himself on the forehead and was like, "Oh my god." 

[Foxybaby]

Me and my hubby were on a drive and I noticed some sheep in a field we were passing and I commented to him: "I wonder why they're sprayed pink all over rather than just the usual marking on its hind" Him-in all seriousness: "How else do you think you get pink wool" 

[Katie]

Wow, no, no that's not dumb... 

Okay, really, this just happened the other day.

My freind Tony and I were talking:
"Yeahh, I hate Surbians." Tony said.
"Uh? Why?" I asked him
"Because they are mean."
10 minutes later
"Wait, where are you from again?" I asked him
"Albania" He replied "What are you?"
"Romainian and Irish... but my mom's family is from Ukaslavia and so were really a mix of Surbian, Romainian, and others."
"Oh s***, nevermind"

Does he think I was insulted? I wasn't, and on a side note, I had told him 235y48392653460e times and yet he STILL didn't remember.

[DaSpecial1]

This afternoon:

(flu-ridden & thus isolated till fever subsides) Me:  "D2 <--little ones will be home in about 30 minutes, please fix their lunch now."

Sp:   "Oh?"

Me:  "Yes, you know they hardly eat lunch in school and I'd like them to get it out of the way and start on their work. Don't want to waste time this afternoon just 'cause I'm ill."

Sp:  "..." *crickets chirping*

Sp:  "..." *crickets chirping*
 
Sp:  "So what do you need me to do?"


Me:


            Is it me or wasn't that a clear request? welcome to my world...

[simneesee]

Pahahaha!! DaSpecial1 I literally cracked up reading that!

This happened about a year ago. My boyfriend and I were IMing late at night
Me: oh crap, my car is completely covered in tree crap!
Him: Neesee, you're so dumb!
Me: What you say that for???
Him: Trees don't crap, they pee! That's where sap comes from!
Me: 
lol

[SenkoTwiik]

Hehe, good ol' husbands/SO's. I needed a laugh this morning.

[DaSpecial1]

Simneesee, awww good to know I'm not suffering alone .

[simneesee]

Simneesee, awww good to know I'm not suffering alone .

What's even worse is that they say such stupid things and are so serious about it! Like they truly believe they are right! lol

[SenkoTwiik]

My husband did another one of those weird sleep-talking things he does last night. It was raining, and the rain was really loud on the roof, so I was just laying in bed listening to it. We suddenly got a heavy downpour and I guess it startled Brandon out of a dead sleep, because suddenly he starts nudging me to get my attention.

Me: What, hun?
Brandon: (in an urgent tone) You've got to go get the foals!
Me: The what?
Brandon: The foals, from outside! You have to get the foals!
Me: B, we don't have any foals. Go to sleep!

He went to sleep again, only to wake up and warn me about the foals again 10 minutes later. I told him the same thing again, that there were no foals, that he was making no sense and needed to just be quiet and go to sleep.

(For the record, Foals are baby horses, under a year old. Brandon and I have NEVER owned horses together. There had not been horses on my property in over a decade. And even if there had been, what the heck did he want me to do with the foals? Bring them into the house?)

[renagade 676]

One time my hubby made 4 trips to the store in one day to grab me some Tylenol and Advil (I had dental work done that day), and each trip he picked up everything BUT the pills.

Then there was fall of last year.

We live in Washington, 15-20 minutes away from Everett, so naturally every year there's a rainy season. I told my husband about a month before rainy season started that we needed to buy Squinty (my son's nickname) some rainboots. He told me that I was wasting money, even though I insisted that it was going to be too wet for tennis shoes, and that he was growing out of his tennis shoes anyways.

One month later - lo and behold - a HUMONGOUS recordbreaking rainy season, the wettest we've had in Washington yet, and the hubby turns to me and goes, "Let's get ready to go. Why doesn't Squinty have boots yet? He can't go out there wearing those shoes! Why haven't you bought him boots yet?"

 

[SenkoTwiik]

Oh my goodness, 4 trips to the store?! I think after the second one, I would just tell my husband to sit down before he hurt himself. He's forgotten stuff at the store before, but if it's important enough to take a second trip, I give him a list to look at to make sure he doesn't mess it up again.

The rainboots gave me a good laugh. Mine does things like that too. I'll propose an idea months in advance, and he will think the idea is just plain stupid, then he will "come up with it" miraculously as if it has never been mentioned before.

[Katie]

Haha Jamie... love that.

Okay this is flat out dumb:

him:hey
me: hey
him: what's up?
me: the sky
him: what?!

okay really... what does he think that there is now sky? He really honestly didn't get it.

[Paden]

His mother: What should your dad get your wife for Christmas??

Hubby: A new set of pots and pans, she'll kill me if I get them for her.

His mother: Why would she kill you if you guys need them because of the Teflon causing problems?

Hubby: You know women, they always want something useless and frivolous for the Holiday.

His mother: OK, I'll let him know. BTW, son, in case you forgot, I am a woman.

Hubby: D'oh! I got used to thinking of you as "Mom"...

Needless to say, he didn't really score any points on that one, with either of us.