1001 things I've learned from watching horror movies

[Katie]

186. If your trying to run from a mass murderer and you hear a painfull sounding screech, run, run fast.

187. When you are considered "psyco" and the hospital you are at has a magically acsessible ledge over 2000000 ft high up, and your heving nightmares about a man trying to kill you you should probably find a safer hospital.

[albmont]

188. Be absolutely sure about the number of psycho killers or monsters chasing you and your friends. If you know there's only one, and you shoot him and he goes down, then empty your gun in it. Then grab a knife, cut off his head and burn it in the oven. If you know there's more than one, skip the emptying your gun part.

[Katie]

189. NEVER sleep again. Ever, no matter how tired you are. All the bad things happen while you sleep.

[Carlwashere]

190. Dark old hospitals are not a good place to explore.
191. Dark old houses aren't good, even if it's your inheritance.

[lonleyma1000]

192.When zombies attack go for sharp dont throw a chair and expect it to work

193.Zombies are running loose dont attempt to save anyone you love you will just die in the end


194.All ways wear you seatbelt

[Katie]

(Please # your things!)
195. If you are sick with anything, especially a cold, stay home! You sneezing all over everyone wont help.

[SenkoTwiik]

196. Don't hide in a mall made out of mostly GLASS after zombies invade the world. Eventually, they are going to break through.

197. Never cheat on your spouse...especially if your spouse is male. He WILL go crazy, and he WILL eventually kill you and everyone else he sees.

198. If you find a weird video tape and it starts looking like a college art film, push eject before it finishes and throw it in the trash. If the phone rings afterward, don't answer it. And if a weird little girl comes out of your tv, either run or shoot her.

[caffeinated.joy]

199. If your girlfriend, after hysterically begging you to leave the demon-infested house, suddenly tells you (in a calm voice) she thinks you should stay and everything will be fine, haul her backside out of there (forcibly, if you must) and get her to an exorcist immediately.

[Katie]

200. If you abuse a kid for all his life, and he acts like he doesn't care, watch out, one day he'll pull a psycho on you and shoot you all, and everyone else he can get his hands on.

201. If you get a call that sounds like someone breathing into the phone, hang up, un plug the phone, and burn it in your fire place.

[SenkoTwiik]

202. Either that, or breathe LOUDER into the phone. Give him a taste of his old medicine. Maybe go so far as to ask him what he's wearing...in a manly voice.

203. If your sister acts really weird after being attacked by a wild animal, don't for a moment assume it just has something to do with her being 'female'.

204. If people all around you start pooping out giant carnivorous worms, leave the area. Don't take no for an answer when you get to the military blockade.

[Katie]

205. If you go to a dark place, always carry a flashlight We don't need you tripping all over the place with a murderer on the loose.

[DaSpecial1]

206. If you purchase a house with wall to wall glass windows invest in some curtains--people can see you,
you know.

207. Don't buy houses with wall to wall glass windows.

208.  If you build a hidden panic room in your house install your own secret security system.  Otherwise someone else will know it's there (duh).

209. If you build a hidden panic room in your house, you might want to add a hidden secret escape route.

210. If the neighborhood, where your incredibly below market huge new home is, is so dangerous that you need a hidden panic room--you probably should have passed on the deal...prepare to fight for your life.

[SenkoTwiik]

211. If you find the remnants of a jawbone in your driveway, take the hint. What more proof do you need that something bad happened there?

212. Keep your freakin doors and windows LOCKED. How hard is it?

213. Don't buy a house with 13 bedrooms when you have 3 people in your family.
a. What's the point?
b. You just know you're going to have some crazy stuff happen to you.

[DaSpecial1]

213. c.  If you do buy a house with 13 rooms inspect ALL 13 rooms. The thing always lives in the one you've never been in.
       d. If there's a basement or attic with a missing key you can stop searching...it's in there.

[SenkoTwiik]

214. Don't linger around behind the rest of your group no matter where you are. If something catches your eye, either leave it alone, or stop the whole group.

215. Never put your mother in a home...she will haunt you for it.

216. Don't go swimming in the ocean. Just don't. Take a trip to the public pool.