Realized I hadn't posted it here, (Switching into past tense, hope I don’t bother anyone too much?, also, I'm actually changing Ryan's name to Kyle- that was what it was in the original writing, and it fits him better. )
Aidan, 2010
“Don’t worry, Mrs. Clark, everything will be fine.” The nurse in blue reassured my mother.
Of course, the entirety of our family knew everything would be fine, and Ava didn’t look the slightest bit on edge, but it was standard procedure to let us know that they thought something terrible would happen- reverse psychology.
“We know,” Ava said, rolling her eyes.
Ava was a little braver, a little stronger, and a little smarter than your average twelve year old, but I guessed that was what it took to survive cancer for so long. She flashed me a toothy grin and scooted down from her bed. She didn’t seem anywhere near as fragile as the last time she was in the hospital- this time she could walk. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had hit the ground running.
Isabella, 2010
As the sun shrunk back behind the moon I walked toward the door to Aidan’s bedroom. The door was open a crack, and when pushed it slid silently open. Aidan was facing away from the door, in his underpants.
“Hey buddy.”
Clearly, I had startled him. He jumped out of his skin and turned to look at me. His face reddened and his eyebrows furrowed.
“Mom!” He growled.
I giggled a little at his embarrassment, and he picked up a teddy bear off the ground and launched it at me. I shook my head and turned on the ball of my foot, walking into the hallway. He slammed the door shut in an effort to hide his blue whitey-tightys, and I stood just outside the door.
“We’re watching Cars downstairs, if you want to come.” I informed him, and went off to the living room.
In a few moments he joined us, now dressed in his pajamas rather than underwear, but still a little red-faced.
“Quit ruining the movie!” Tayelor grumbled at Kenny, who was sitting on the floor, pointing and shouting things like ‘Lightning was the real winner!’ and ‘Isn’t he a racecar or something, but they don’t know until later?’ in a mind effort to make Ava laugh.
Kenny waved off the comment and continued mumbling things just loud enough for everyone to hear.
“We can hear you,” Alex offered, rolling his eyes.
“Well then maybe you should plug your ears.” With that, Kenny fluffed Alex’s hair and leaned back against the couch.
After the movie was done, we went through the routines; Putting Kyle down for the night,
Tucking Aidan in, and saying sweet dreams to Alex.
And last, giving Ava her last medications- mostly various painkillers to help her sleep through the night, and sometimes pills to make her fall asleep.
“I don’t think I need the sleeping pills tonight, I’m really tired. I haven’t rested much.”
Ava swallowed the pills in one big gulp and held her arm out so that I could give her a shot of morphine, as the doctor instructed. She was only supposed to get one if she was in a lot of pain, and ordinarily a patient wouldn’t even get that- but we’re so well known at the hospital, I’m sure they knew we could handle it. Outpatient care was hard on Ava, she was up and around all day, except for when she was in the outpatient care center of the hospital, receiving chemo.
“Alright, up to bed. I’ll be there in a second, I’m gonna put on my pajamas first.”
In her room, Ava was sitting up staring at the sign on the wall that said ‘It’s your day’- it was there everyday, but sometimes she didn’t notice, and sometimes she did.
“What’re you looking at?”
She snapped out of her trance and looked at me. “Nothing, just thinking.”
“I see,” I said, nearing her bed.
“Mom, do you think it will ever really go away?”
I had a feeling she wasn’t talking about the banner.
“Well I think you know better than most what can happen when you have cancer, but sometimes people have it just as bad and it comes back just as many times- yet they somehow recover and live normal lives until they die of old age. It’s a crapshoot, you never know what you’re gonna get.” I explained.
She nodded, staring blankly at the wall. I imagined she was trying to picture herself as an old lady, but couldn’t. I knew enough about Ava to know that the thought had occurred to her many times; she was bound to die sometime, and probably sooner than most. She didn’t let on that she was scared though- if she was, she was far too good at hiding it.
Finally, she said, “I guess you’re right.”
“You just have to live life to the fullest and have fun while you’re around- however long that may be.”
She nodded again, with a glassy look in her eyes.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.”
“Well you should get some sleep,” I suggested.
She smiled and laid down in her bed. “Goodnight, mom.”
“Goodnight, Ava.”
As I was about to leave her room, she mumbled, “I want to go outside tomorrow.”
I shook my head, stifling a laugh. Normally, Ava wouldn’t be allowed outside. But with the weather permitting, and her feeling up to it, I would allow it. The odds of something happening were small, especially with the whole family close enough to help- most of which knew CPR, except for Kyle.
With all of the kids sleeping, the house was calm. Rain pattered on the windows as I faded to sleep.
