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Author Topic: Murda/Urban Gangstas - 10/23/2007 - Update - The Road Splits In The Courtroom  (Read 84407 times)
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vita4all
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« Reply #180 on: June 27, 2007, 06:11:00 pm »

Thanks for the very thoughtful and insightful comments, ElvenSong, Moon and Diesel, and thank you readers who are enjoying the story but haven't left a comment.

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From Diesel: what might have been easily mistaken for assault and battery can actually be a display of love and concern in the hood...lol.


Agreed, although I think you have to grow up around it to fully understand it.

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From Diesel: ...Junior still got madd love for that man.


Yep, and many abused kids do, 'cause your mama and daddy is all you've got growing up... but it's mixed with hate, as you see, which intensifies the relationship.

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From Moon22T: Junior ...knows how his father is and how certain people roll...
Rita's so sheltered and innocent and evil likes to prey on the innocent ...Satan is the father of trickery and lies and deceit...


Yes, and notice how Junior chose someone totally different from his family and the people he's grown up around. As he said in the chapter where he met her, "Jump with me Rita. Let's do life differently." He's got a little baggage, though.

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From Elven_song: (Raheem) somehow makes you feel secure but scared at the same time. It really gives a lot of insight on him and all the people who associate with him, especially his kids and their moms. It would be really scary, just to know someone like that, who you can't help but love and hate at the same time.


There are many people like this, and they not only lead their family, but some lead nations. And of course, Lucifer, God's most beautiful angel, may have said, "it's better to rule in Hell than serve in Heaven."

Been in the Pirate Contest, guys, and took a break (some of you know this already.) This took up far more time than I imagined, and will be my last one for a long time, even though I've enjoyed it. I just finished R1 and will try to get the Ronnie and other chapters this weekend.

Here's a pic of my pirate, and he's a gangsta, too, who changed jobs. :pirate: Swing by and read his mini-story. It's good. And no, that's not Ronnie in one of the photos; he's a relative y'all never heard about.

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Tenshii~Akari
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« Reply #181 on: June 27, 2007, 07:06:15 pm »

:drool:  *heads to check out the contest*

Man I hate my game for not working right now... I sure would've loved to be in the same contest as him!
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vita4all
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« Reply #182 on: June 30, 2007, 11:35:04 pm »

Whopee! I kept my deadline and have this chapter ready for you on schedule!

Thank you readers and fans for your comments and patience.
If you've never left a comment or haven't left one in a long time,
please let me know how you like the story or chapter.


New Chapter Update!

Ch. 73 Continued - Freedom Ain't Free - Part 5 - Ronnie
[/I]
::smilieiforgetwhi::Find Chapter Updates On Post 1, Page 1, Never The End Of This Thread::smilieiforgetwhi::


By the way, Ronnie will have another Part in Ch. 73 this week, as will Junior,
as this entire chapter deals with the trial and everyone's quest for freedom as they define it.[/SIZE][/FONT]


7586 on 6/21/2007
8076 as of right now
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« Reply #183 on: July 01, 2007, 08:10:40 am »

Jamal's shirt = Priceless.  :laugh:

What Ronnie did at the end is enough to mess with anyone.  He certainly pulled the unexpected with everybody in the cell by telling them to show Jason mercy.  I'm so proud of him!  :bawl:
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Veckah
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« Reply #184 on: July 03, 2007, 12:13:51 am »

*Cheers* Yes, Ronnie did the right thing, I'm so proud of him. *giddy* Excellent update as always Vita.
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Elven_Song
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« Reply #185 on: July 03, 2007, 04:45:45 pm »

It's so good to finally get some inside detail and be able to know what Ronnie's been up to all this time we've been hangin with the rest of the crew. I'm still anxious to finally catch up with Kareem, who's still running wild, as far as we know. Good little filler there, Vita! Can't wait to see the rest.
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vita4all
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« Reply #186 on: July 05, 2007, 01:53:58 pm »

Thank you Tenshi, Veckah, and ElvenSong, those who PM'd me and readers in general for your comments, nurturing and support! It's one of the things that keeps me writing.

A few hints. I introduced the cool young cousin, Kye, in this last chapter (part 5/Ch 73) to give Ronnie a link to his past - and possibly his mother. I ain't telling no more! They have a lot in common too, don't they? Heh-heh-heh.

All of you were happy over Ronnie's words: "Show him mercy."
He then said with those three words, I freed myself.  I could've written, I freed him, but Ronnie is trying to free himself from violence and guilt. Ronnie, as you know, is searching for answers in his struggle to grow up and mature. The book on Buddist meditation Chan gave him helped him.  Some of you remember, and some don't, but back in Chapter 33, Chan was having a phone call with Raven, who stated that Ronnie was too straight to make a committment to him, and that he was a straight-up gangsta who thought like a Buddist "even though he probably didn't know what that was." It's above this photo here if you want to refresh your memories:
[/SIZE]

New Intense Update!

Chapter 73 - Freedom Ain't Free - Part 6: Che, and Part 7, Raheem

::smilieiforgetwhi::Find Chapter Updates On Post 1, Page 1, Never The End Of This Thread::smilieiforgetwhi::
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8076 on 7/01
8374 right now
« Last Edit: July 05, 2007, 01:57:18 pm by vita4all » Logged

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« Reply #187 on: July 05, 2007, 08:38:37 pm »

So Che plans on leaving everything behind and free himself and his sister from being tools again... I hope he remembers that if his dad really wants him to do "his will", he has his ways of catching up to him.  Heck, if he found out where Raven was through "paper trails," Raheem would do the same thing to him, too.

I blinked. "Murda and sex has really changed you," I said.

"Changed me? No," he said decisively.
"Murda, money, sex and power freed me."


The above really got to me.  His statement is so true, and I've seen it firsthand throughout reading this whole novelette!  Raheem was right about one thing from the beginning:  Junior did have it in him from the very start... he just had to give him a little taste of those elements. (beginning of Ch 61)  That boy's a force to be reckoned with!  :evil5:

Hmmm... Junior's definitely got a plan up his sleeve for sure.  One's gotta wonder if he's forming his own "army" to prepare for the usurping of his father.  He's seeing Ronnie, Che, Jamal, Kareem, and maybe even Tony's thirst for freedom, too.  ("Freedom" being a variety of definitions... from murder, drugs, hurtful memories, or plaguing thoughts, you name it!)  Knowing Junior, he'll use all of that to his advantage.  Wink  

Looking forward to seeing how this develops!
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Veckah
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« Reply #188 on: July 06, 2007, 12:14:27 pm »

What does it say that even Satan himself is becoming truly wary of his own offspring?
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icekoolkat
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« Reply #189 on: July 06, 2007, 01:50:06 pm »

OMG! Everytime I read another chapter I'm more involved in the story.  I find myself rooting for the underdog.  I put myself in the story, it's like I'm on the sidelines watching everything unfold.  Another excellent chapter.  The love story between Rita and Junior was so cute.  I think he will make a good husband because he saved himself for her and only her.  Again another great chapter, keep it coming.
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LissaS
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« Reply #190 on: July 06, 2007, 09:26:10 pm »

WOW,.........WOW! Junior is soooo sharp! He got his own father questioning himself.....WOW! The way I see it junior definitely has a plan up his sleeve and he's puttin it all together. He is just like his father but to me it looks like he's using it for the better instead of worse. He's slowly outsmarting his father and I can see this being a HUGE battle at the end between Junior and his father. It's already starting to begin it seems, cause his father still has a plan as far as going overseas. Ronnie REALLY surprised me when he said "Show him mercy"........... My mouth dropped. Right now all I can still say is WOW........WOW!
« Last Edit: July 06, 2007, 09:29:02 pm by Moon22T » Logged

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vita4all
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« Reply #191 on: July 07, 2007, 04:47:59 pm »



Hi Readers!

Coffee House Chat time!
:coffee2:

I wanted to give some feedback to your insightful comments, rather than wait another two or three days before the next update is ready.  

Important Message!
 I've started minor edits on early chapters, and added a few photos. I think you'll like the 3 fresh new pictures in Chapter 1 and Ch. 6. The one of Chan and Ronnie having dinner is kind of funnyand it's worth a peak.

The only dialogue I changed was in Ch. 1 - improved for the better, without changing the story. Exception: in the original Ch 1, Raheem said he was 'top dawg in his 'hood." As the story evolved, we know this isn't true. He's much more than that and has global connections. Thus Ch. 1 was edited to reflect this.  Minor edits elsewhere, feel free as usual to enjoy racy debates here!

Okay, pass the Swiss Miss to add in my coffee:

Quote

From Tenshii - "Raheem was right about one thing from the beginning: Junior did have it in him from the very start...One's gotta wonder if he's forming his own "army""


Raheem is the brilliant anti-hero we love to hate. He's right about a lot of things, but does Junior have him fooled, or has Junior joined him in evil?  And don't you feel sorry for Ronnie? Just when he's ready to move on, his 'freedom' is being negotiated between Raheem and Junior as though he were a slave. What do they say? Ain't no leaving or escaping the mob. We'll see...

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From Veckah: "What does it say that even Satan himself is becoming truly wary of his own offspring?"


Oh Veckah! The neighbors can still hear me laughing from your observation... I love it!

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From Icekoolkat: I think he (Junior) will make a good husband because he saved himself for her and only her (Rita).


What Rita and Junior have going for them is they share the same religious values and are deeply, passionately, truly in love, plus he likes her. He's not fickle either.  However, there are a quite a few wild cards that could do them in, from his rigidity, to their families, to family planning issues, and of course, to whatever crazy sh*t Junior has planned up his sleeve regardng his 'travel plans."

Quote
From Moon: He (Junior) is just like his father but to me it looks like he's using it for the better instead of worse... I can see this being a HUGE battle at the end....


Junior has a rep all thru the story of being sneaky by his brothers, father, and even Ronnie. Just what is Junior's real agenda? Hmmmmmm. The iceberg photo in Ch.73/Pt1 may be a clue... :scratch:

************

Quite a few of you were surprised that Ronnie showed mercy to another prisoner. If you think about it, it's fairly consistent with his character, from back in juvie when he protected Chan in the bathroom, simply because it was the decent thing to do. He's struggling to hang onto his heart in this cold world.  Wish Ronnie luck - he's gonna need it.
:violent3:

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kevinlipimp
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« Reply #192 on: July 10, 2007, 09:30:35 am »

Vita, your story is so good. The last chapter was intense and funny as hell, espcially the newspaper pic and Junior doing a talk show. It's the cup of coffee he was holding that cracked me up with the title! Where do you get these ideas? They're hilarious! So were the ridiculous fruity prison uniforms. It's like your story is serious and real as hell but funny too. I like the new photos you added in the whole story and the first chapter.  The pic of Crazy 8 getting beat with the real looking belt was so real and sad-scary. It was a good idea to add new photos. The one of Ronnie looking stoned - I'm using that as a screensaver.

Junior's outdoing his dad and Raheem better watch his back. I can't wait to see what happens next!
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Liv
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« Reply #193 on: July 10, 2007, 12:23:55 pm »

Ok, so I am like on Ch. 10 and am already hooked!  Wonderful story!  I will surely becoming back to get caught up!
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« Reply #194 on: July 10, 2007, 06:02:18 pm »

Quote from: vita4all;813009

Raheem is the brilliant anti-hero we love to hate. He's right about a lot of things, but does Junior have him fooled, or has Junior joined him in evil?  And don't you feel sorry for Ronnie? Just when he's ready to move on, his 'freedom' is being negotiated between Raheem and Junior as though he were a slave. What do they say? Ain't no leaving or escaping the mob. We'll see...
[/FONT]


I don't think, I know Junior has him fooled.  (Yeah... I don't "know" know, but from everything I've read about him up until now, he definitely knows how to work his way around and manipulate things to suit his plans) Anytime Satan second guesses himself on how he really reads Junior, there's definitely someting up.  Let's see how Raheem can figure out the true nature of his kids now.  :smile bi:

Quote from: vita4all;813009

Quite a few of you were surprised that Ronnie showed mercy to another prisoner. If you think about it, it's fairly consistent with his character, from back in juvie when he protected Chan in the bathroom, simply because it was the decent thing to do. He's struggling to hang onto his heart in this cold world.  Wish Ronnie luck - he's gonna need it.
:violent3:
[/FONT]


From the previous that you stated above this quote, you asked did I feel sorry for Ronnie... that's an absolute yes.  Sad  Everything you've said about Raheem and Junior talking about him and the other boys/men in whatever way Junior wants to utilize them is too true.  They talk as if they own every bit of their souls... :smt120  

I wasn't too surprised at Ronnie's generosity... like you mentioned, he did it for Chan, and in a few more ways, he also did it for Raven and Kareem.  Though, in the situation with the lack of respect from the big-mouthed inmate named Jason, I was sure anyone would've lost their cool right then.  :lol:  I don't wish only Ronnie the luck, but EVERYONE in this maturing situation is going to need it, in this story and in RL situations similar to Ronnie's.  (Mainly, all the young men I know that are still trying to free themselves from what I'd like to call the "color-coded" system of stereotypes.  Most of our boys and men are more than just jail-birds and gangstas...  it's just something they have to believe and find within themselves!  Wink )
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