Hi guys,
As I mentioned on the Milestones thread, I'm already getting ideas for the twin sons of my contestant. Only I decided to experiment with the format for this one; I'll let you have a read, you'll get the picture better. This is Chapter One, I'd like to know if it works for you, or should I find another way to tell it - in short, past tense or present tense?
Thanks in advance
*****
Mm, this is nice. A little cramped though, I need a stretch... that's better... hey, what's that?
“Ow!! Watch where you're putting that foot!”“Who are you?!”
“I could ask you the same thing! ... Hey, what's that?”So I'm not alone in this cosy place. Interesting sound though... a little on the deep side. Is that someone talking?
Aah, that feels nice... whatever that is, keep going!Aaaww! I want one too!
Urgh, I've had enough of this. I can barely move!
“Hey, fancy a game of footsie?”“Why not?”
Maybe this isn't so bad after all. I've even got a playmate... yikes!! What was that?
“Uhh! What's happening?!”“The walls are closing in! We're gonna... oh no, wait, they've moved back again...”
What was that?! I hope it doesn't happen again... now, where were we? Ah yes... Ugh! Damn it! Famous last words... what's going on?!Aaah! What's happening?? Where am I going? ... Yeouch, it's too bright... hey, who're you?
Pretty red eyes you have there lady! Who? Christian? Who's Christian? ...Oh, is that my name? Okay... not bad, although Chris sounds better, but hey, who am I to criticise? ...Hey, where's my playmate gone? Where're you putting me? ...Oh. Nice cushions, not as cosy but at least now I can move.
Hey, where'd my friend go? Aahh, help! I'm falling! What's that light...? And who're you?Howdy! I'm... um... oh, there he is! André? What's an André? Oh, you mean me, I get it... so, my name's André? Cool... feel free to call me Andy, I don't mind... Oh, there's that sound again, sounds clearer this time... so that's what it was, it's a man! Hey, he's green too! His eyes are scary though, I hope mine don't look like that...Ooh, I like that long red thing, lessee if I can grab it... yes! Can I eat it? ... eww, guess not. Hey give it back, I was playing with that! Phooey... wow, he's got long pointy things in his mouth! I want some!I don't like this, it's cold... and I'm hungry!! Someone feed me before I waste away!! ...ah, thank you. Damn, I'm tired now, it's been one hell of a day!
“For God's sake Chris, shut up!! I'm trying to sleep!”“I can't help it, I'm hungry!”
“You're always hungry! You'll wear out the poor woman, I swear...!”Ah, that's better. Oh dear, better see to his Lordship while you're here... “Now who's making a row?!”
“I'm wet!!”“Ah... fair enough, carry on.”
Oh, thank you. Can I get back to sleep now?Damn, I hope I don't stay like this forever. I hate being waited on like this, I want to do things for myself! Ugh... I'm bored now, I need something to play with.
“Happy birthday to you!” Wow, this is great! And I've grown too, I swear... does this mean I can do stuff now?
Ah great, a mirror! Maybe now I can see what I look like... Yikes, I look scary! I hope this doesn't last... oh, hello Daddy! I like this man, he's so nice!
Hey I can move by myself! And these toys are pretty... hey, is that a mirror? Great, I hope I... phew, I don't have those scary looking eyes, I can relax now. And Mummy's here too, do I get another cuddle? Yay!Wheeee! Look at me go! This is more like it!
I wish he'd slow down, he's starting to make me dizzy! I like this, does it play any other tunes?Ooh, this looks good. Let's see, this goes in there... oh, no it doesn't...
That's enough for now I think, time for bed.Mm, I was just getting off to sleep... what was that?Sounded like a bell...? Oh I know what that is, it's a friend of theirs, let's see if I can get to the stairs...
Hey, I want to see too! Is someone visiting us?Wonder who that is... I like his clothes! And his hair! I want long hair too!
He likes the colour black, that's for sure... Why does he look sad?I wish I could get down these stairs... oh well, back to the bunny toy.
Yawn... I'm tired. Bedtime I think... wonder if we'll see that man again... is man the right word? He looks more like a boy... Does he have red eyes and pointy teeth too?Hey, what's that shouting? Sounds like Daddy! Did that man, or boy, hurt him?
Footsteps... he's coming up the stairs; I hope he's okay.
Ohh, now what?! What's that high pitched noise? Oh, it's his... erm, phone is it called?
Now he looks sad?! Aww, don't cry Daddy! Whoops, guess it's better if he doesn't see us... now where's he going?
Promise when you come back you won't cry anymore?Hey, when we get bigger we'll be waiting for that mean person again if he comes back... don't make my Daddy mad!
*****
I know the wall's down in one pic... sorry about that >_< It'll get easier when they're old enough to describe things better, I tried to keep it relatively authentic.
