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Author Topic: Any artists on InSim?  (Read 16894 times)
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Shastania
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« Reply #30 on: June 12, 2007, 06:25:02 am »

Quote from: BCJHCheerPower;766898
Thanks, I need all the luck I can get! Here's part of the first chapter. Anyone who has feedback/criticism/prasie please give it to me! Be honest!

Chapter One

My mom had me doomed at the start. I feel kind of bad blaming her, because it wasn’t here fault she was such a klutz. Well, it was, but I feel a little better when I pretend it’s not.
   I knew of several incidents where my parents tried to play that game where they throw the baby up in the air, baby squeals with delight, parents catch baby, and repeat. Well, my parents forgot about the low ceilings.
My parents, knowing I had a severe allergy to mosquitoes, let me go outside by a pond in the dead of summer, and just forgot about me. Needless to say, the results were nothing less than catastrophic when they finally remembered me and I couldn’t see them because my eyes were swollen shut.
On my third birthday, my parents took me to the pool. It’s always so much fun when everyone pushes the birthday girl in the pool and everyone laughs. I don’t think anyone expected me to hit my head on the shallow pool floor, where a trip to the ER was required to fix the gash in my head.
The worst part is that none of those are even the worst incidents. The absolute kicker occurred at a Target Sunday afternoon, where everyone goes and buys stuff after church. So of course it was completely packed. I do believe I was about six years old.
My mom decided she needed a box of tampons. The very box that was on the top shelf. My poor mom never reached even a height of 5’5 and there was no way with her short stub arms that she was going to reach it. She came up with the brilliant idea for me to get on her shoulders and I could get the box. Still, I could barely reach.
Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz. Mom looked down to her vibrating pocket, only to see her cell phone vibrating.
“Hurry, hurry,” she pleaded. “It might be an emergency.” I strained to reach the box.
All I got to say is that phone had a powerful vibrate. Mom began to shake as the phone’s vibrate got stronger. So, of course, me being on her shoulders, I began to vibrate along with her.
My hand shook as it tried to grab the box. “Hurry, hurry, hurry, I’m about to drop you,” Mom informed me. I frantically grabbed onto a box and my mom collapsed underneath me.
My first instinct was to grab the shelf. So picture this: a scrawny six year old girl holding onto a Target shelf while, get this, her mom doesn’t help her down, she answers her phone.
Poor me is hanging on, when an unsuspecting civilian passes by, humming and wheeling around his squeaky cart, when he passes the feminine hygiene aisle and sees me hanging of the shelf while the lady next to me jabbers on the phone.
“Ma’am,” the man stammered to my mom. “I think, I think your daughter needs some help.” He looked very helpless and obviously didn’t know what to do.
Mom rolled her eyes. “I hadn’t noticed,” she said sarcastically. She closed the phone, looked at me, and laughed. “Um, you can get down now,” she told me impatiently.


*grins* Now that's a story I'd like to read more of! Good use of language-it's fluid and really draws the reader in. It's humour and interesting too-I can't wait to find out what happens!
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rebelmozzerella
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« Reply #31 on: June 12, 2007, 09:58:26 am »

Yes! A good comeback! *pumps fist* Do you want me to put some more up?
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he's the sweat on my sheets (:
Shastania
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« Reply #32 on: June 12, 2007, 10:01:46 am »

If you're comfortable with it, sure but I think it'd be best to save it.
In my own experience, Writer's block usually follows after a preview..
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rebelmozzerella
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« Reply #33 on: June 12, 2007, 10:24:47 am »

Nope. Smiley It'll be up soon.
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he's the sweat on my sheets (:
timberario
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« Reply #34 on: June 12, 2007, 04:00:55 pm »

BCJH maybe you should make your own thread for your story that way it doesnt clog this thread which is more about commenting and less about sharing i think.
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rebelmozzerella
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« Reply #35 on: June 12, 2007, 04:39:08 pm »

1. Please don't call me BCJH, call me Chelsea. Smiley
2. It is commenting. People commenting on my stories. I am an artist, and the great thread creator, Shastiana, said is was okay. Therefore, I am.
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he's the sweat on my sheets (:
rebelmozzerella
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« Reply #36 on: June 12, 2007, 06:31:53 pm »

Rest of Chapter One

   Mom rolled her eyes. “I hadn’t noticed,” she said sarcastically. She closed the phone, looked at me, and laughed. “Um, you can get down now,” she told me impatiently.
   Well, no duh, Mom. Do you think I decided I was going to hang off this shelf in sheer terror because I wanted to? If I had of been thirteen like I am now, I would have told her that. But being six, I hadn’t quite developed my “attitude” (as Mom calls it), and replied with a wimpy, “I can’t, Mommy.” It shames me to know I was such a wimp.
   Mom shrugged. “Well, I don’t know how to help you.” She looked at me, and cocked her head like that would somehow help me get down. “Try jumping.”
   Are you beginning to see what I mean? I couldn’t jump. I would bust my head right open, and that wasn’t a “maybe” that was a “definitely”.
   Mom obviously saw that look of terror blooming in my eyes. “Just let go. You are such a wimp.”
   At that point I was crying and now a group of civilians had come to watch the drama unfold.
   “Wait…what’s that noise?” a little old lady with a severe hunchback asked. We all strained our ears to listen, and caught a creaking.
   “It’s the shelf!” offered a lady holding a kid in each hand, two in her cart, and two in the babies sitting in the little seat in the front seat of the cart, sharing a seat belt.
   Sure enough, we could all see that the shelf was beginning to bend, and it started creaking louder.
   “She’s gonna fall!” cried the lady again. Murmurs, shrieks, and surprised looks followed.
   The small group had quickly turned into the entire Target store, including the store employees and several people with popcorn, sodas, and Starbucks coffee.
   “Excuse me, excuse me, Channel 11 news crew coming through,” a voice commanded from the far side of the crowd.
   Mom immediately began blurting out some very, well, “colorful” words at this point. I was bawling, and finally a news reporter and cameraman arrived at the scene. “And we’re filming in three, two, one!” the reporter shouted.
   Can you see the scene unfolding? The news reporter stood by the camera, whispering commands at him to change the angle, and pull the camera up, and get a close up on my face.
   The shelf was now visibly hanging and it was clear it was about to break. “Jump, please, honey, jump,” Mom pleaded. I noticed how she changed her tone to commanding to soft and sweet. It’s funny how the possibility of being on TV can change your personality.
   The shelf cracked, and for a split second, everyone held their breath as they watched the shelf tumble to the ground, with me howling.
   I landed on the cold linoleum Target floor (which smelt-bad) to the gasps of the audience, which turned quickly into laughter. There was me, scared, with a shelf by my side and completely buried in pads, tampons, and some other things I think I probably shouldn’t mention.
Mom was double over in laughter, as people whipped out their Nokias and snapped photos of me.
“C’mon, honey,” Mom said, still laughing. “I think we can go home now.” I fell on the floor, and blacked out.

The next thing I remembered was being at home, when Mom shook my shoulder. “Watch this,” she said, and turned on the TV. Channel 11 News came up, with two news announcers sitting at a desk.
“Hello, this is Michelle Turner,” the woman said,
“And this is Anthony Kiles, and we’d like to show you this interesting clip of what happened at our local Target store…”
And there it was. The clip that pretty much defined the beginning of the ending of my life.
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he's the sweat on my sheets (:
DarkDude28
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« Reply #37 on: June 12, 2007, 10:31:16 pm »

BCHJ For all of you with the creative side that have loads of talent, and I've been aroudn all these forms. A lot of you have great potental and great talent and a good eye. For the poets you can make word do something speical for you and that is something to charish. As a heads up for all you any one who might want ot puchlished or prited someday might find it hard if you have posted your work in website that copy right it or on open form. The poets need to answear (yeah i misspelled that)that on open form like these someone could copy and pasy your work and try to make it their own. I'm not trying to discourage anyone I only want to inform and adive all you out there, cause I know what all my art and poetry means to me and i know how I would feel if somene stole on of my poems. Well that it just to let you know.
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rebelmozzerella
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« Reply #38 on: June 13, 2007, 09:00:50 am »

Oooohhh...you're right. I came to post the next to chapters but I change my mind. Thanks Dark!

P.S. Call me Chelsea Cheesy
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soulofthesea
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« Reply #39 on: January 04, 2009, 01:36:14 pm »

im a musician. i play clarinet and am self-taught in guitar, harmonica, piano, and drums. idk if i really wanna be in my high school's jazz band since this is now my second year on guitar and the guy who's doin it right now is a senior. in fact, im even starting to write my own music. all my friends are saying i could possibly be the next Eric Clapton if i keep doin this, but thanks to my personality, i say its all lies and im not even close to Mr. Clapton's level  Embarrassed.

and no, im not tryin to make a pity-party for myself. it's all facts! unfortunate facts....
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buddy_luv_blah
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« Reply #40 on: January 05, 2009, 06:42:46 am »

I write stories. I've started a couple of novels but couldn't really fashion an ending out of them. =]
I write short stories, I draw, I sculpt.
I hate painting, but pretty much anything else artistic, I can do.
Except pottery, tried it. failed miserably.
I used to play flute, but i absolutely hated it...
and am going to start guitar lessons sometime this month.
I wrote a poem last year that I absolutely adore, and It makes some people cry. a lot of people actually.
but that's the only poem I've ever written besides ones I was forced to do in class.
I sing. but only when nobody's around. =]
I act. It's pretty great.
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Jenna
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« Reply #41 on: January 05, 2009, 11:52:37 pm »

For what it's worth:

I'm a classically trained pianist, turned jazz pianist. I used to have steady gigs playing in various clubs, but...meh...jazz clubs never seem to last long. One club I used to play in has been a Chinese restaurant, a dry cleaner, a deli, a coffee shop, a thrift store, another coffee shop, a Korean restaurant, and a watch repair shop since the club itself closed. Hah.
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SenkoTwiik
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« Reply #42 on: February 07, 2009, 08:21:33 pm »

I've been writing for the last decade at least. I don't have anything published though, except on Fan Fiction sites. I do both short and long stories, rhymes, lyrics, lots of stuff. I also like to sew and draw.
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caffeinated.joy
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« Reply #43 on: February 07, 2009, 10:24:33 pm »

Jenna, I love jazz...I sing it.
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Aralie
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« Reply #44 on: February 07, 2009, 11:12:52 pm »

I do quite a bit of photography...that's probably my main "artsy" thing. Heh. I also sing and write my own music/lyrics...along with poems and the like. I used to sing at a local coffee shop and I've been in quite a few bands. I don't really do that anymore though. It's kind of funny...I had no problem performing in front of people for the longest time (largest audience was about 800 people!), now I've developed horrible stage fright! Haha. I also used to draw and do ballet and ice skate. I can't do any of those anymore. It's kind of a shame, because I was really good at them. Oh well. I probably could draw again if I took time to do it. No ballet or ice skating anymore since my knee injury...  Cry
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