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Author Topic: Notes from Branwen Prologue  (Read 5797 times)
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Christian10
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« Reply #15 on: July 06, 2008, 03:18:13 pm »

Quote from: tonita_kitty;1294586
Are the prologue pics still up on Photobucket?

'Cause if they are, you can just repost the image codes in your first post.  That's what I did when one of my pictures didn't show up in my story, and it seemed to fix the problem.


Nope I deleted them
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Hey you look bored. Wanna read my stories? Notes from Branwen and The Candler Legacy.:punch:
tonita_kitty
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« Reply #16 on: July 06, 2008, 03:59:30 pm »

Aw... Oh, well.

BTW, I'm liking the story so far!
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***my sims thread***
"Hey, folks! It's the Saviours of Jazz Ballet
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Christian10
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« Reply #17 on: July 06, 2008, 06:39:54 pm »

Hey guys I know its been 4ever since I updated but im trying to work on Chapter 2 , 3 and 4 at the same time so I can upload them all at the same time Smiley I'm also working on a new series. So...look out for it!
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Hey you look bored. Wanna read my stories? Notes from Branwen and The Candler Legacy.:punch:
Christian10
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« Reply #18 on: July 08, 2008, 10:02:11 pm »

Notes from Branwen Ch. 2:: Sweet Dreams


Seriously...red bull rocks


A cold breeze brushed my neck sending chills up my spine. I open my eyes to find myself, no longer in the safe habitat of my home, in my warm room, snuggled up in my covers. Instead I was outside fully dressed. How did I get here? I asked myself. One minute I was snuggled up with my bear, Mr. FunnyButt and the next i'm...here...wherever here is. I hear faint crying, it sounds as if it's coming from behind me. I turn around...


When i turn aroun I see a room full of people crying. I can already identify Mr. and Mrs. Gomez...this is Stacey's hospital room. But who are all these people? And why are they crying?


Mr. Gomez hugs Mrs. Gomez and guide her out the door. That's when I see Stacey, she looks even sicker than before, she has a very bad cough and she can't even catch her breath. She starts coughing out blood and everyone begins to cry harder.


I can't look at her like this, I cover my eyes hoping that it was all a bad dream and that it will go away soon...but it doesn't.


This strange sound comes from inside Stacey's throat as she tries to catch her breath. "Bran...Branwen...help me".


I feel helpless, their's really nothing I can do to help her. Tears pour out of my eyes like a heavy load. I feel as helpless as I did that day when she had first past out at school.


She lifts her head up, closes her eyes and clutch her throat. "Can't, breath, Bran..."


"Im so sorry Stacey" I cry out, "what do you want me to do?"


With one last attempt at survival she falls to the floor, she stops squeling and gasping for breath. She clutches the floor. "I thought" she cries "I thought we...friends...Bran" she collapses to the floor.


The cries in the room are so loud that im surprised I could hear my own self crying. "I feel helpless and confused. What the heck is going on?"


I'm still crying as I feel a cool breeze and I find myself outside once again...standing alone. I burst into more tears, I cried so hard that my eyes hurt but that wasn't anything compared to the pain I felt for my dear friend. That's when I see a bright light. At first I ignored it, and then I looked up. The sky was starting too light up around me...a new day.


And then I turned around to get the biggest shock of my life. Words couldn't describe what I saw, I was speechless. I tried to speak but words would not come out. Am I seeing things? I say to myself as I watch this...this...creature flying above me.


That was no creature that I saw. It was Stacey! And she had wings. I was dazed by her beauty and dazzled by the light emanating from her magnificently giant wings.


She sits in mid-air and just stares at me with this happy smile on her face.


We stood and stared at one another for what seemed like forever before I got the guts to say something. "Sta- Stacey?" my voice was shaken. "Yes, Branwen?" she said in the most soothing voice i'd ever heard.


No longer did she look like the girl I once knew, the sickly little girl who's eyes I couldn't even meet without tearing up. The sickly girl who just looked so tired you couldn't help but want to take her out of her misery. "Are you...dead  Stacey?" Okay so I know it was a stupid question seeing that I witnessed her death but I couldn't think of anything else to say! She pursed her lips and then smiled. "Branwen, its near my time".


The next thing I know im sitting straight up in my bed. My pajamas were soaked in sweat. "Gross" I said to myself as I wiped the sticky sweat from my forehead. "Relax Branwen, it was just a nightmare" I told myself as I tried to catch my breath.


But I just couldn't get back to sleep. It's just how I am, once i'm awake I can never get back to sleep. And every time I closed my eyes I imagined Stacey choking out my name as she took her last breath.


Maybe some water will do me some good.


I kept repeating to myself that it was a nightmare and it meant nothing.


The doctor said that Stacey was doing fine, her leukemia is gone and she's up being the same Stacey she's always been. She'll be returning home in a couple of days.


Maybe a little snack won't hurt.


Not too long ago my mom called me downstairs too tell me that Mr. Gomez had called about Stacey.


He wanted to know if I could come over to help him redecorate Stacey's room. He was also planning a Welcome Home Party for her and he really needed my help.


The pregnancy isn't going so well. Mrs. Gomez's doctor said that this was a high risk pregnancy and she would need a lot of rest.


Well since I can't sleep I guess I can get started early on some chores. But thinking about Stacey made me think about alot of others things. Crazy things, yet interesting things. Like the Bermuda Triangle and Aliens.


But what was really on my mind was my sisters disappearances.


Where could they possibly be? I know it's been only a year but it felt as if I haven't seen them in decades. I miss fighting with Ashley and listening to Ashlyn talk about the Big Bang Theory and all that nerdy stuff. God, I just hope they aren't hurt....or worse.
I just hope that wherever they are, that they know how much we miss them. Especially mom...she just hasn't been the same since. When they disappeared they took most of her with them and I miss her bubbly attitude.


Time flew by and soon I heard my mom getting up to get ready for work. As she was going into the kitchen she saw me sitting at the table deep in thought. "Hey sweetie, what are you doing up so early?" "Nightmares", "Mom can I ask you something?" "Yeah honey of course you can tell me anything".


"Do you and dad ever wonder what happened to Ashley and Ashlyn?" for a moment she just stared at me until I broke the silence.


 "I mean, that's why your always fighting right? Because of them?" She fiddled with her fingers for awhile and then cleared her throat. "Why don't we talk about this over some breakfast mmkay?"


Veronica: Branwen, your father and I think about your sisters each and everyday. We love them just as we love you, that's why we're so super protective of you. We don't want anything to ever happen to you.


"The day after Ashley and Ashlyn disappeared, we first assumed that they had went off to one of their freinds houses, but they all said they hadn't seen them since school. That's when we started to worry.


We called the cops who set out an amber alert and then we got Detective Mazza on our case. She charged a high price for her work but nothing we couldn't afford. She went to work and she even got a phone call from a man who called himself 'Eck'


Branwen: "Eck?"
Veronica: :Yes his name was Eck and they even tracked him down"
Branwen: "Was this...'Eck' person the guy they were looking for?"
Veronica:...no Eck was actually two 10 year old boys from downtown Strangeville.
Branwen: So...they were prank callers?
Veronica: Yes and it took everything I could to keep your dad from flying to Strangeville after those kids.
Branwen: So she never found any other suspects?


Well actually early last month they found a guy who was linked to the girls' disappearance. His name was Kristofer Fresnel and a few people said that Kristofer was talking to two young girls around the age 15, an elderly lady described one of the girls with blond hair and some very tight shorts on. [The CrumpleBottom] But it wasn't enough information for Detective Mazza and her partner to go on so they released him. Two days later he was found murdered in his home, two bullets to the head.


Tears started falling down her eyes, she was trying to hold them back and her voice was starting to crack. "Detective Mazza...was found...dead three weeks ago. Since then most of the detectives we hired simply gave up.


I just want you to know Branwen....that I pray every night that they're still alive. I pray that one day they will step through that door. Wherever they are...we will never forget them.


I can hear my alarm clock ringing upstairs.
Branwen: I should be getting ready for school now
Veronica: Yeah...I have to be at the bakery early today
[As I turn to leave, this feeling comes over me and I run over and give my mom a hug]
Branwen: Mom...I love you


The school day fly by as it always does. Mayla talks my ears off in Dramatics as usual though today my mind is elsewhere. I'm too anxious to go over to Stacey's house on decorate her room. I can see the look on her face when she see's how wonderful it'll look.


Ravi has only been here for one week and he's already one of the popular kids. Rumors have been spread that Ravi and Angela were dating but Ravi quickly denied them. But he is however dating Angela's friend Candace Love which makes it even worse.


My parents are going on a date tonight so straight after school I rush over to the Gomez's house.


I was greeted at the door by Mr. Gomez "Hey Branwen, i'm glad you could make it over". So we get straight to work.



"Okay so what I was thinking was maybe we could paint two walls green and the other two a light blue color and then put some stars on the room and add a hammock for a bed and a couch under the bed with a mini tv. Doesn't that sound cool?


Maybe Mr. Gomez can stick to moving the furniture in



With my brilliant decorating talent the rooms is nearly done in no time.


Mrs. Gomez calls us down for a snack. She made fruit salad [my favorite].


Branwen: Mrs. Gomez this fruit salad is delicious
Mrs. Gomez: Thanks Branwen, Stacey will be so thrilled when she see's her new room.
Mr. Gomez: She'll be even more thrilled when we throw her a surprise party.
We just sit and talk about things, I really enjoyed it. In my household we havent sat at the dinner table like a normal family since Ashley and Ashlyn's disappearance.


Mrs. Gomez is really big, and she looks tired. As soon as we were finished Mr. Gomez and I hurried back upstairs to finish the room.


And before you now it...we're finished. It doesn't even seem like it took that long. Plus her room looks wonderful, I've never felt so accomplished, I've also never felt so tired before. I only got four hours of sleep last night.


After we finished Stacey's room we sat and talked downstairs a bit. I was really interested in the baby. They don' t know the baby's gender yet because they want it to be a surprise. And right before Mr. Gomez took me home I got to rub Mrs. Gomez's large belly. I didn't feel a kick though, maybe s(he)'s sleeping.


Mr. Gomez took me home and I fell asleep instantly as soon as my head hit my pillow.


Well that's about it. Tomorrow im going to get Mayla to come over so we can plan Stacey's party.


Sincerely


Branwen
« Last Edit: July 08, 2008, 10:11:51 pm by Christian10 » Logged

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Christian10
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« Reply #19 on: July 08, 2008, 10:19:31 pm »

aaaaahhhh I am so tired Sad tell me what you guys think! Comments keep me going. COMMENTS COMMENTS COMMENTS
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Mizz
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« Reply #20 on: July 08, 2008, 11:54:19 pm »

It's nice. Although, perhaps in favor of getting it out quicker, you should try to add more detail. Describe a few things like how something feels or tastes. Even though there are pictures doesn't mean that the pictures write the story for you. The pictures are there for visual support if you can't imagine the character well. Otherwise, I really enjoy the plot line and I like where this is going. Good job!
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mpb4l1fe
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« Reply #21 on: July 09, 2008, 12:44:42 am »

Ooh, this is really good so far Smiley
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Christian10
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« Reply #22 on: July 09, 2008, 10:24:58 am »

Quote from: Mizz;1297621
It's nice. Although, perhaps in favor of getting it out quicker, you should try to add more detail. Describe a few things like how something feels or tastes. Even though there are pictures doesn't mean that the pictures write the story for you. The pictures are there for visual support if you can't imagine the character well. Otherwise, I really enjoy the plot line and I like where this is going. Good job!


Yeah I was up all night trying to get this finished. I dunno why but I just can't get into it like I thought I could. It feel likes it becoming more of a chore but I don't want to abandon it though.
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Mizz
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« Reply #23 on: July 09, 2008, 12:05:54 pm »

A chore? Oh. That's not good. Lol. I know how you feel though. I attempted to write a story and the plot line wasn't going anywhere. I've started a new one that I think I'll be really involved in now. I recommend that you try to add twists that you like to read in stories, but don't make them too common like teen pregnancy. There's too much of that, and it's becoming rather predictable.
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:help: The Fear- Part Two
Part two is now up for those of you who wish to read. If you have the time, please do read and possibly even leave feedback. Thank you so much! :worship:
lilbossy'11
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« Reply #24 on: July 09, 2008, 07:39:44 pm »

nice, i guess! i like it! Branwen is a random rare UNiQue name to me! good JOB dude keep it UP!
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