32c thats me ( its a sim story ill put pics in it later)

[satsoveranddone]

step on a crack, you'll break your back
step on a line, you'll break your spine

Everyday on my way home from school, i do this weird thing. as i turn into my street i recite this chant in my head and try to avoidthe cracks in the pavment.

Me, superstitious?Never!
Well,okay,a bit
Because when i reach the last lamppost befour our house, i take a deep breath and fill my lungs with air. you see, if i can get in the house without taking anotherbreath, mum won't be there.
I turn my key in the lock,lungs bursting. Nothing. No Radio 4, no voice on the phone,no dishes clattering in the kitchen.

My breath explodes in a big rush of air. Yes! Mums not home yet. I have the house to myself

Dont get me wrong, i dont hate my mum or anything. It just means i have a bit of peace to go on the internet, without mum breathing down my neck about homework and 'the importance of year 9 in laying the foundation for GCSEs'

Thats the problem with having two parents who are teachers. Double Trouble. I've got no chance.
Actually they're not that bad. Quite cool really, though I'd never admit that to them or anyone else.
I dump my bag on the floor and help myself to a coke from the fridge and a couple of rice cakes. Im realy into them. 'Gluten-free' it says on the packet. thats mums influence. i just like the taste.
The lights flashing on the answerphone. it's a message from Ali. Scatty Ali. My best mate. We're as diffrent as chalk and cheese, but we've been best friends since reception class. she was away today.
Hi jess how was school? i hurt my leg but im ok now. can i copy your maths? ring me.
Grans voice come's on next. My Gran's wicked. It's the usual. she's forgotten how to set the video and the over 60's have got a salsa class on tonight she doesn't want to miss. can dad ring her back?

The last one's for mum for Mrs Diane Bayliss from the daybreak center asking her to attend tomorrow at 2pm. wonder what thats about?

to be contunied


plz tell me what you think ive been working realy hard on this part on the chapter theres three parts to this chapter by the way i had to start it again cause someone moved it ill put pics in later

[satsoveranddone]

chapter 1 part 2
Continued

Mum teaches life skills and special needs in her school so it's problary something to do with that. i must remeber to tell her she never checks for message's. Im on the internet looknig up stuff about Lady Machbeth when mum comes in.
Do you nkow somehting mum used to read shakespear to me in bed when i was little.
hiya love, how was your day?
im fine mum.
well dont stay on the computer all night stick this on the line for me jess, it should dry before it gets dark.
Mu-um! im doing my homework
go no jess it wont take you a min
5 mins later
___________
dads back
busy day?
yes
they eat dinner
______________
oh and mum , the daybreak centre rang. you've got an appointment there tommorow at two
what? Mum looks startled
There's a message on the answer machine. i mumble, my mouth full of pasta.
i wish you wouldn't do that! Mum snaps, getting up from the table and stacking dishes even though dad and i havn't finished
What? i ask in surprise
Listen to my messages. they could be private, you know
Dad and i look at each other in amazment. mum's logic never ceases to surprise. she's throwing plates into the sink as if she's a guest at a greek wedding.
It's a answerphone for all of us. i explain patiently
oh you know what i mean. mutter's mum anyway you two can wash up i've got things to do
I though you were going to strech and tone tonight? i say
it's too late now and im busy with loads of stuff for school
ofsted' mouths dad as she sweeps out of the kitchen and goes upstairs
PMT i reply chucking him the tea towel i'll wash you wipe,

plz reply tommorow it will be chapter 2 or later tonight feedback plz

[AxelVal]

1. Check your grammar and spelling before you put up anything.  There are far too many errors in this for some people (like myself) to enjoy.

2. Quotation marks are your friends.  You have dialogue, but the reader can't seperate it from anything else.


If you could just fix those two things the whole story would be much better no matter how early on it is.  And with those fixed you would be able to get more feedback on what in the actual story needs help with.

[xHannaHx]

i like it! keep it up

[Gothic Gaby]

isnt this a book?

[BOO!]

I'm pretty sure there is a book called that. I never read it.
But if this is actually from the book, this is plagiarism.
And that's illegal...

[Rogue777]

Do you mean this book?

[kathy]

Plagiarizing works is bad m'kay? I'm closing this thread.