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Author Topic: The Sundial  (Read 7866 times)
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k2cheyne
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« on: August 26, 2007, 06:31:24 pm »

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hola, I'm Kersten! <3 Now, before I begin, I'd like to emphasize and elaborate on a couple of things. First off: while I am an 18 year old college freshman, this story was researched, planned, and written when I was just an ickle 12-year-old 7th grader. (Yeup.) Don't let that turn you off, though; I have revised it. I tried to leave it in the same form it was when it was originally written, as much as possible, because I really don't like changing the stuff I write when it's long-over. Secondly: Seeing as I am an 18 year old college freshman, I may not be able to update all the time. I'll do as much as I can, of course, but I do have other things that MUST be addressed. Third: This story may be a bit extreme for some readers, so if you are offended by nonblatant nudity (rare), violence involving children and teens (including abuse), or are very sensitive to religious references, you may not want to read it. (I got an OK from the mods though, so I think it's acceptable.) And finally: I LOVE feedback. Please give me any feedback you can. This is not exactly an introduction, but you won't really find out what's going on until the next chapter, which I am about to go take pictures for. <3 Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the products of a strange little girl's preteen mind.

Part I


June 17

   I’m so tired.  I haven’t slept well in weeks.  It always gets like this around this time of year... because it is around the anniversary of her death.  This is the third time tonight I’ve been roused by nightmares.  It’s as though I can’t stop thinking about it – am I obsessed?  I’ve never written about it before, maybe that will help me.  It’s not as though I can go back to sleep yet.


   I was sitting in the living room at the time.  I think I was ten years old, but I barely remember that now.  My father’s easy chair – he didn’t take it with him when he left us – was near the window, and I sat in it, daydreaming.  That was the most I ever did, which may have been the reason my family thought I was so stupid.


   That was when Alexia ran in.  She was my dear nine year old sister.  I loved her – I love her – so much.  I was the only son, but she was the one they treasured.  Yet she treasured me, more than anyone else.  I can’t recall a time that we fought, though surely there were moments.  But they all left me – I don’t want to remember a single time I was angry at her.


   She started chattering, as she was prone to do, and I didn’t really listen.  It was mostly idle neighborhood gossip, which I cared nothing for.  However, suddenly, she stopped speaking and began to cough, and by the time I got out of the chair she was choking.  By the time she was in my arms, she was dead.  It had happened so fast – there was nothing I could do.


   But that was when my mother ran into the room.  She started screaming at me, and screaming for help.  I could do nothing but stare at Alexia’s tiny body, my hands shaking.
   The doctors said she had choked to death.  On what, I wondered? She hadn’t been eating, and her death had happened so quickly.  She had always been in good health.  My mother thought that I had killed her, jealous because she was the most loved.  I felt responsible, so I never denied it.  She would beat me, screaming at me, demanding to know why I would kill her only child.


   I can’t write in any more detail than that.  It has been too long, and it is too painful.  I feel worse now than I did before.

...

   It’s already five o’ clock.  I’ll never get to sleep at this rate.  I guess I –


   I... have to go.
   I can’t really believe what’s happening to me.  Just as I was writing, a moment ago, I looked up and I saw what must have been an angel.  She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, heavenly and ethereal.  Her hair is long and white, and her eyes are blue, I suppose a bit like my own.  Maybe a bit lighter.


   “On this night,” she said in a gentle voice, “you must depart this place.”
   I couldn’t speak, I was so surprised.  So I just stared at her.
   “Take what you must and go to the woods south of St. Petersburg.  You will meet two others there.”
   “W – why?”
   But then she vanished.  I just stared.  Perhaps I was dreaming.  However, something told me I was not.


   So now I must go.  I suppose I ought to make a list of things to take with me.
-extra clothes
-food
-this journal, of course – Alexia gave it to me
-first aid
-a flashlight


   I suppose that’s all I need.  I hope I won’t be gone too long.  It sounds like I’ll be gone a while though, so I ought to bring as much as I can.  I guess I’ll take my black bike.  St. Petersburg is a big city but I live quite far south already, but I’ll be able to move faster with the bike.

  I hope it wasn’t a dream.  I hope I don’t regret this.  The whole thing seems very strange and surreal, but something is pulling me.  I feel like this is something I have to do.




AUTHOR'S NOTES: I hope you liked it... o.O I'm a tad nervous. I haven't posted anything I've written in a forum in AGES... And don't bother asking why it's set in Russia, I don't remember why I chose it, hehe. I did a lot of research on it, though, when I was 12 - I remember that much! <3 Please comment if you read, and give me any *constructive* criticism you can!  :howdy:
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My first (and thus far only) Sim story, xposted here and at S2C: The Sundial

I hope you enjoy it!:D
k2cheyne
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« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2007, 06:32:25 pm »

Just to reiterate (I'm not sure everyone on S2C realized it) - I AM 18, but this is a revision of a story I wrote when I was 12! Hehe.
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My first (and thus far only) Sim story, xposted here and at S2C: The Sundial

I hope you enjoy it!:D
k2cheyne
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« Reply #2 on: August 26, 2007, 06:33:57 pm »

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Took a bit longer than I thought. Kekeke. O.o I was going to have a picture of the sundial in this chapter, but the game froze and crashed (I had already taken the other pictures though ^_^) and to go back in for just one picture? LAME. Plus I decided that it'll be better if it's mysterious... ^_~

PART II

June 17

   It only took me about twenty minutes by bike, and when I reached a clearing in the woods I suddenly got a strong feeling that I had arrived where I needed to be.  I took a brief nap, because for some reason when I arrived I was able to sleep.


   But then I was awakened by the sounds of someone fighting their way through the tightly packed trees.  I sat up and a very pretty girl came out.  She must have been my age, I figured right away, as she was quite small but not as small as a child.  She had blonde hair and vivid green eyes.  She was quite thin, though I guess that’s normal.  But I could tell immediately that she was not from Russia.


   “Oh, good, hello!” she said in English.  I blinked, not sure what she had said, but then I remembered the English I had learned in school and replied, “I am not so good with English, eh, sorry.”  I felt my face turn red.  I had never met a foreign girl before (certainly I had seen them, but never spoken with them).  Especially one as pretty as her.
   But she just smiled.  “That’s quite all right.  I’m from Sweden, but I speak English.  I can’t speak any Russian.”
   Great, I thought.  Now I’ll never know what she’s saying without thinking about it.
   “So, who are you?”


   “I’m Keely Härt,” she replied.  “And I’m here to assist you with the Sundial.”
   “The… sundial?  What is sundial?”
   “Wait, you are Phoenix Razmiotnov, are you not?”
   “Dah, I am, but I…”  I trailed off.  I didn’t even know what a sundial was.
   “Well, did an angel come to you?”
   So she was an angel.  “Dah.  Eh, yes.”
   “Did she tell you nothing?” she asked, coming closer to me.  “You don’t know about the sundial?”
   “What is it?”
   She sat down beside me, and thought for a moment.  “I don’t know that much myself, but I’ll tell you what I know.  But first let’s wait for Jared to get here, in case he doesn’t know either.”
   “How do you know my name?” I asked.  I felt a bit numb from confusion.
   “The angel who visited me told me your name and his, and also about your sister.  I don’t know why they didn’t tell you anything…”
   We waited in silence for a while.  It was rather awkward.  I’m not good at dealing with other people.  I’m too shy and quiet, and far too sensitive.  I don’t really trust anyone, generally.  I think I could trust Keely, though.  She reminds me of Alexia.


   Finally, someone else came out of the woods into the clearing where we sat.  We both looked up at him.  He had red hair, as red as fire, and a mean-looking expression on his face.
   “Ye recognize Sundial?” he said, also in English.
   “Yes,” said Keely.
   “No,” I replied.  
   Keely pointed at me.  “This is Phoenix.  The angels merely told him to meet us, nothing more.  I’m Keely.  Did they tell you anything?”
   I listened to him speak, not sure what he was saying because his accent was so heavy, and tried to determine where he was from.  Eventually he mentioned Scotland, so I figured that was where he came from.
   When they stopped talking, I asked (in the best English I could manage), “What are we doing?  Why you came from far away?  I am confused, please tell me.”
   Keely smiled kindly.  “It’s a little bit difficult to explain, but it was as though I was transported right into the woods.  The angel that visited me sent me right here, though I had to explore a bit to find you.”
   “Aye, same here.”  What did ‘aye’ mean?  I’d never heard English like that before.


   “Do you know why we’re together?” Keely asked Jared, who shook his head.  “Very well.  I’ll tell you what the angel told me.
   “A long time ago, far before Jesus came into being, Satan created a sundial in what is now Ulan-Ude, Russia.”  I knew Ulan-Ude – or of it, anyway.  “I don’t know what the purpose of it is, but it is connected to many terrible deaths.  My mother was a victim, as was your sister, and your friend.”  Jared glared at her.
   “She was my girlfriend.”
   “In any case, Jesus’ presence diminished its power, and for many hundreds of years, the power of Christ and the passion of his followers kept its evil at bay.  But people just don’t believe like they used to, and his power is returning.  I’m not sure of much beyond that, but our task is to silence it once and for all.”


   It took me some time to understand what she said, but with some deep thought I was able to understand most of what she said.  “So, we go to Ulan-Ude now?”
   “Yes,” she replied.
   Ulan-Ude is on the other side of Russia.  And we must go by foot?  I still can’t believe it.  We’ve traveled a bit today, right now we’re camping out.  I’m not really very fit, neither is Keely, so we can’t travel long distances.  Fortunately, since she and Jared knew about the journey from the beginning, they brought plenty of supplies.  I’m a bit nervous about Jared, though – he’s impatient and always seems angry.  I don’t want to fight with him but he keeps glaring at me.  I hope it all ends well…


   I know it seems crazy, and unrealistic, but I have no home to return to.  I have a much better chance of making my life mean something if I do this.  I’m tired of stagnating.  Even if it’s a lie, even if I die or end up finding nothing at the end of the road, I really need to do this.  I’m not so sure I believe in all this Sundial business – I’m not very religious – but I can feel something tugging on my spirit, urging me.
   But I’m really scared.



AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well, this is the chapter that pretty much drives readers away or flocks 'em to it, I'd say. I hope no one was offended! o.O I was really worried about that, actually. All I can say is, "Wow, I sure was weird when I was 12."

Just for fun: Jared's true colors come out even as a sim. When I first entered the forest lot (before the trees arrived ^_^), what did I see Jared doing? Abusing the others, of course!! The first time it was Phoenix. Then, when I royally screwed up the lot (....o.O) we had to move to the one you see in the chapter itself, and this time he chose to abuse poor Keely. I was cracking up. He sure has a good grasp of his character! XD

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My first (and thus far only) Sim story, xposted here and at S2C: The Sundial

I hope you enjoy it!:D
dnj121006
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« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2007, 07:20:29 pm »

wow update!! great  jobe Roll Eyes
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k2cheyne
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« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2007, 07:34:08 pm »

heh, I was starting to wonder if anyone would ever read it....
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My first (and thus far only) Sim story, xposted here and at S2C: The Sundial

I hope you enjoy it!:D
CelestialPixie
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« Reply #5 on: August 30, 2007, 04:26:29 pm »

It is so good, I've never wander into this part of the forums and happen to see your story! I guess it's the title that lured me in, lol. BTW I'm a college sophomore majoring in creative writing.
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k2cheyne
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« Reply #6 on: August 30, 2007, 04:49:03 pm »

Thank you!! I'm going to minor in creative writing actually <333 I wasn't going to update anymore if no one was reading, but now that a couple of people have commented I'll go take pictures for part 3... <3 Thanks!
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My first (and thus far only) Sim story, xposted here and at S2C: The Sundial

I hope you enjoy it!:D
KateTheSuperKat
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« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2007, 03:47:40 am »

I love it, and your pics are great! Can't wait for the next update.
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Baby_Cat
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« Reply #8 on: September 01, 2007, 04:56:17 pm »

great updates k2cheyne! Very interesting plot, lol. I'll be following!

Babycat
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k2cheyne
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« Reply #9 on: September 16, 2007, 08:39:54 pm »

I'm so sorry everyone, my laptop's fan died!! Even if the worst happens and some of my data was damaged from overheating, I backed up my stuff so I will not fade into the multitude of unfinished stories... Even if I had to I'd just make the characters again... >.< Sorry again!
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My first (and thus far only) Sim story, xposted here and at S2C: The Sundial

I hope you enjoy it!:D
vickylougrl
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« Reply #10 on: September 16, 2007, 10:37:05 pm »

k2 I hope you can get your game back this was a great story!
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You are then to say to him, "I am a child of humanity and I am from the Source."
Astral Faery
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« Reply #11 on: September 18, 2007, 09:18:48 pm »

You're off to a great start.  Your pictures are very classy.  Interesting storyline - I didn't find it offensive at all.  I hope you can get your computer issues worked out so you can continue.  It sucks to be held up for something like that.
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k2cheyne
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« Reply #12 on: September 20, 2007, 12:54:29 am »

Okay, my laptop is back! Bad news is, before I knew what was wrong Dad made me uninstall the Sims because he thought it was something wrong with the program (my problems coincidentally started when I installed Bon Voyage). But my sims are safely backed up, so worry not. =) I should be able to update this weekend.
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My first (and thus far only) Sim story, xposted here and at S2C: The Sundial

I hope you enjoy it!:D
vickylougrl
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« Reply #13 on: September 23, 2007, 02:41:52 am »

thats good news k2 can't wait for your update.
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Coptic Text
Now, when you come under their power, one of them who is the overseer will say to you: "Who are you, and where are you from?"

You are then to say to him, "I am a child of humanity and I am from the Source."
k2cheyne
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« Reply #14 on: October 18, 2007, 10:49:03 pm »

>.>

Or not.

My sister lost the manuals for the game, but she finally found them so now I should be able to update THIS weekend.

Sorry for the delay >.>
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My first (and thus far only) Sim story, xposted here and at S2C: The Sundial

I hope you enjoy it!:D
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