the nativity story

[candy.floss]

im not good but im gonna give it a try....

chapter 1
About two thousand years ago, in the town of Nazareth, there lived a young woman named Mary. She was engaged to be married to Joseph, a carpenter. One day an angel appeared before her and told her she had been chosen to have a special baby. The baby would be God's son.

Soon after the angel's visit, Mary and Joseph were married. Mary was due to have her baby when they were told they had to go on a long journey to Bethlehem, which was where Joseph came from.This was because they had to pay a special tax. Mary had to ride on a donkey for a few days over the hills of Gallilee.

At last Mary and Joseph arrived in Bethlehem. It was crowded with other people who needed to pay their taxes. Mary was very tired and needed a place to stay. At each inn, the story was the same. There was no room for them. Eventually, one kind innkeeper said he had a stable where he kept his animals. They were welcome to stay there.

_____________________________________________________________________________
comments would be appreciated thanks!:cya:

[gamerxgirl]

It's very short and to the point, skipping any elaboration, basically just a shortened version of the Nativity in your own words Imho I think you should elaborate and make it a bit more interesting rather than what everyone has already heard.

[xgreydovex]

its good, but bland...not to sound harsh or anything.  I would have really liked to have seen you elaborate more like gamerxgirl said.  Some pictures would have been nice too...
but its good, so keep it up

[Baby_Cat]

wait...i am confused, was that the whole story? I believe i have heard it before lol-no offense meant, sorry, i sound a bit harsh...try adding more details or maybe a twist to something

[Stelio Kontos]

My suggestion: Do what the creators of the Prince of Egypt movie did. Take a bit of historical and creative license when writing.
Also, pics would hep.