Fight for it-Chapter 9 posted

[Devomuffins]

This is my first sim-story I hope you like the first entry! Comments and critique are greatly appreciated.
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"Oh! Mrs. Smith! You can go right in."

"Thank you."



Charlie walked over to Her when she entered, "She's just resting, you can talk to her." he whispered.

"thank you." she said again. She was tired of sitting in waiting rooms and talking to hospital staff, the staff were polite and sympathetic but she just wanted to see her daughter.



Rachel stirred and sat up. "Rach?" you awake honey?"

"Mommy!"

"Hi sweetie."

"I missed you today. We did crafts and I made you a macaroni necklace, but it isn't dry yet."



"Thats okay Hon i'll look at it later."

"I did more reading too. I can read you a story."

"That would be great."



"Once upon a time there was a princess.........


.............And they all lived happily ever after. The end."





Rachel smiled, but her hands would not stop shaking as she closed the book.


(more entries to come)

[Theraven]

looks promising

[Devomuffins]

thanks! I loved Anna's Diaries, I cry every time I read the end.

[Misskitz]

Nice job! Can't wait for more!

[Theraven]

well, it's always more touching when the story is about a child - or about a family. I know a few tricks that makes stories interesting, so I tend to use them a lot

You know, if the story makes people cry, laugh, get provoked, or show feelings in other ways, or if it's just that they can't put the story down because it's so exciting - then you know you've done a good job

[Devomuffins]

Rachel's mother left several hours later, and Rachel tried to sleep. She tossed and turned screwing her eyes shut. It was no use. She climbed out of bed and wandered down the hall.

[Devomuffins]

Rachel wandered down the hall. She stopped when a pain seared suddenly across her forehead.



"what on earth are you doing out of bed?" Rachel was startled by the docter's voice.
"come on, i'll take you back to your room."



"But I don't want to go back! It's so boring!"



"Hmmm. I have some free time right now, why don't i show you around?"

"Sure!"





"This is my office."



"In this room they hold classes for new docters."



"this is the waiting room."



"And this, is a playroom for sick children."

"Wow. Look at all the toys!"



"This bear is so cuddly. I wish i had a bear like him."

"You can have him, there are six more in the gift shop. Now lets get you back to your room."



"Edward, sometimes you're the only one that really listens."

[Misskitz]

How cute! I love that last pic, and I cant wait for more updates!

[OwlM]

i like it i wish there was more details but i think thre are more to come i hope

[Stelio Kontos]

I like this story, I'll admit it.
Although a bit more description wouldn't hurt much.
Then again, that's just me and my writing style.

[Devomuffins]

I wrote this one fast, the next will be much more descritive.

[Devomuffins]

Things began to look up for Rachel. She was overcoming her cancer, and the docters had started talking about the possibility of her going home for a while. She had also begun to speak to the other children in the ward, and soon found they could relate on many things.



Rachel and Nikki became good friends and cheered each other up when treament was at it's worst. But unfortunetly the joyful moments were just calm before a storm.

  Rachel walked over to her bed, tired and frustrated by a shooting pain in the back of her neck. She sat on her bed and told herself it would fade before lunch.



The pain, instead of fading was still there after lunch and had worsened to the point where she clutched her neck and began to cry.



Nikki rushed over to help her. "Are you alright?" She sounded very worried.
 "I'm fine." Rachel lied. She wanted so much to go home and was not about to let anything get in the way.



Nikki did not look convinced. "Maybe you should lie down." Nikki's voice was firm. Rachel was not about to be pushed around. "Look I-" Dizziness overpowered her filling her head, she hit the floor and everything went dark.

[Stelio Kontos]

Suspense, thy name is SecretAgentZero!

[Hidden~Secret]

I love this story.Please continue it is very interesting.

[Astral Faery]

Aw, heartwrenching.  Poor little thing.  I hope she'll be okay.

This is a nice story so far.  I like her jammies, too!