Even though I bent the rules a little, it was only a matter of time before rock-star made the winning accusation. Congratulations!
"All my life I've been living a lie. Most would know me as Captain Benard Brown, the the brave, colourful and dignified Captain of the Sea! Though I often basked in that title, it was.....not quite so. I'm drunk. A dirty, good-for-nothing drunk. I can't help it! I love the bottle. At first I took it only for times of celebration, but after me lass left me years ago, I haven't been quite the same. I began to drink in times of misery. I tried to stop it, but I've always been too weak. That beautiful rum and soda! How it makes ye old problems sink away. Most regrettably though, the drink always brought out...the sea monster in me.
Tonight started off no different. I always pop by the Canadian Naval Society Club whenever I'm docked ashore here. However, tonight me ol' chums decided to challenge me to a little....drinking contest. Before long, I was so filthily begotten. The room was so hot, we all threw off all our clothes. We thought nothing of it at the time. When yer like that, yer just don't give a damn, and so I stumbled me way back to Ethyl's...
By the time I got there, I wasn't feeling quite me self. I couldn't feel me bones and body and everything was just spinning. I needed to have a lie down. After I cleared out some sickness in the Hall (Sorry Mary!) I collapsed on the Lounge floor. Before I knew it, I ended up on the couch which was quite a bit more comfy. I was nearly out of it then, except that when it happened....and er....I 'm going to have quite a bit of trouble saying this. It's sort a hard tale to tell...
That new mayor of of the village....he came in...
The moment he saw me face, he turned into the Devil imself! His face was horrible and distorted as he condemned me for my foolishness and how he would see to it that me secret would be exposed. He would tell all that I'm ar drunken ol sod and then see to it that I'd be punished for deception. All I do was slobber me words, and all he thought was how he'd would improve his moral image with the public. Then he laughed! He laughed! Oh...how that laugh was so horrible! It really rang me ear down.....
Next thing that happened, I can't quite explain me self. It really was quite the impulse from me and I couldn't control it! I was so angry that I didn't know what I was thinking for at the time, but he was nothing but some vile fly who needed to be squashed. I saw that Pistol in his hand, and so I gave him a violent push and caused him to drop the gun....
He pleaded his life, but I didn't care. His very existence was like a hammer to my headache. Therefore, I blasted the bastard away into oblivion!
When he was dead, I jumped for joy! I never felt so gleeful! I gave a few swift kicks to that monster's corpse! Gawd it felt good!
Then his wife came in to see what the ruckus was about. When she saw her mate dead, she screamed...and so my headache started up again....
She screamed like some awful banshee of the waves. I hate banshees. I fired a round into her mouth, just to shut her up!
When I was done, I grabbed both of their bodies by each arm and chucked them into the Cellar. All I can say was I just wanted to be rid of them both.
Now that I'm back to my senses, I can't believe the senseless mess I've done! I was a fool who didn't see it at the time...and now I'm ruined. Doomed to Davy Jones himself. Ah well, they shouldn't mess with a bloke who's stark in his underdrawers...."
Congratulations rock-star! You cracked the case of
Gone to Meet Your Mayor and won the game of Cluedo!
