As the World Turns.

[xxkatieGorexx]

I have written a story. Sorry it's not great quality but im still trying to figure out how to make my stories look decent.

The story is called "As the World Turns."



Chapter1

[LadyAzmodan]

That was a really great beginning. :happy8: And how absolutely simmish of Raine to still be standing there. hahahah.

One thing tho, you might consider changing the hair of one of the sims, they look very much alike, and at first i got a little confused, thinking they were twins.

Raine is a real cool name, and Ash, one of my sons are named that ^_^ So if you ask me, its the best name ever! *gg*

If you need more lj help/photo help, let me know. im happy to help, i'm just not sure what exactly it is you want to know.

Anywho, im looking forward to an update.

[xxkatieGorexx]

Aww thank you so much. Yeah i know my sims were being so moody yesterday lol.

And i love the name ash. Its so different from other names.

[LadyAzmodan]

hahaha Not in my family, my kids have some pretty warped names. Ash's big brother is named Roar. (Which is actually a name in Danish, i didnt torment the boy by naming him a sound) - And Ash, in DAnish that becomes Ask, but since that means something different in English, im used to reffer to him as Ash on the internet.

Don't get me wrong, but if you want a little advise. When your game is not set to high graphics, then try and resize the photos in something like photoshop with 80%. it makes them look less muddy and pixelated. And as i said, i really like your story. So it was just advise! It took me ages to figure that one out myself *laughs* Now i don't know if you use the in game camera like me, or belong to the screencap people, anyways, it works.

I was gonna post a piccy to show you what i meant, but i deleted it, feeling i hogged your thread, and that was not my purpose. Sorry.

[xxkatieGorexx]

No don't be sorry you give great advice.

I was going to download GIMP, but I didn't know if that would make my pictures any better lol.

I use the Tab button to take pictures.

Its hard to figure it all out. Your pictures in Mary in the Mirror look so good. I wish I can get mine to at least look half as nice as yours lol.

[LadyAzmodan]

I just use the 'c' button (c for camera) and then it puts them in

sims2->neigborhoods->N001->storytelling.

(just an exsample)

Then i open them in photoshop, but i have GIMP too, and that does the job just as well, i just GIMP for another sims story i did. i resize them with 80% and give them a frame. thats it!

I do have my game set to take large, best quality photos, and half of  Mary in the mirror is shot with the game on High quality, and the other half on Middle. Actually its only they two last chapters i just uploaded that is on 'high' the rest is on middle.

I don't photoshop or alter the lighting. i only resize and frame. And im sure you can get your pictures to look drop dead brilliant! that teaser shot you ahve in this thread is awesome!

[xxkatieGorexx]

aww thanks. I am going to download GIMP. I hope they turn out nice lol. Thanks for the advice.

[LadyAzmodan]

Youre very welcome. and *whip* go do an update. *grins*

[xxkatieGorexx]

Heres chapter 2 of As the World Turns! I tried a little harder on the pics this time but I was short on time so i maily only edited the cover picture. Hopefully my pictures will start to look a little nicer.




chapter2

[Charamei]

I like this. However, I wouldn't say that your problem lies with the pictures. True, they could be improved, but they are not bad. I do, however, think that your writing could be improved. Since English seems to be your second language, I won't comment on grammar, or even style - I think you're very brave to even try writing in a foreign language, and it's unfair to comment on something which causes native speakers trouble too.

It's the depth that I have a problem with. I find your captions quite dull, not because of style issues per se, but because there is not enough information in there to make them interesting. I am not referring to long, grandiose descriptions - honestly, I despise purple prose - but a sense of how and why people are doing things. When you do do internal monologues, they're quite good, but there aren't enough to really explain why the characters are doing what they're doing or how they feel. Similarly, since you will naturally have a problem recreating realistic dialogue in a foreign language, you might like to start describing how people speak: rather than 'he said', have him snarl, spit, laugh. Adjectives are your friends

Looking forward to more. I think I see where this is going, and it should get interesting...

[LadyAzmodan]

I am not native english speaking either, and i know my grammar is iffy at best. It 'is' a bit much to use a beta reader for a sims story, i just have spell control on and hope people can make sense of what i'm saying. But i agree on some of what Charamei is saying. You could use more adjectives, plus we really want to know what they are feeling and thinking. Are they nervous? are they sad? are they thrilled? You don't have to write it out, but yes adjectives does take you a long way, so we can read from the dialogue what their mood is.

Apart from that! Your pictures WAS better this time. I hope GIMP works out for you, again you're always welcome to ask, either here or at my sims2 journal. I think your story has potentials, and that is why i'm punking you to do your best. you could have all the prettiest pictures, or all the flowery words in the world, and it would suck if you dont have a plot. You have a plot, which is the most essential.  

And Poor Raine, i hope its nothing really terrible that happened since he was kicked out.

[xxkatieGorexx]

Actually English is my first language haha.

but the thing that happened with this chapter,not to make excuses because I know i can make it better lol, but I just found out I have carpal tunnel in my wrist so my hand basically gave out mid way through. It stinks.

I will try better to fix the story and add more adjectives. I really appreciate the advice. It helps me work harder to make my story more appealing.

Thanks guys.

[LadyAzmodan]

*dies laughing*

Does that mean i can beat you over the head? j/k - It took me AGES to get the slang stuff down, and i still haven't. If you want some help or get stuck you can always PM me. I don't know if you're used to writing fiction, but i am.

[Charamei]

Actually English is my first language haha.

Yay, I can go grammar Nazi on you!

...but I won't. Yet.

but the thing that happened with this chapter,not to make excuses because I know i can make it better lol, but I just found out I have carpal tunnel in my wrist so my hand basically gave out mid way through. It stinks.

Ugh, my condolences. I suffer form RSI myself; it makes typing for any length of time practically impossible.

[xxkatieGorexx]

Please go grammar nazi on me. I need it. I speak english but I suck at all the grammar stuff hehe.

and i re-did chapter 2 if you would like to reread it.

Its not much better but it's a start lol.