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Author Topic: Opportunity Knox take 2  (Read 13629 times)
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Tenshii~Akari
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« Reply #15 on: June 02, 2008, 07:40:58 am »

Auntiejo, Leporidae really was trying to help you though... although it seems a little harsh to you, I'm sure she really meant well.  Sad

Sometimes, you just have to accept or ignore what people say about or to you.  Some of the tips she offered I find to be quite helpful, even to myself.  :smile bi: You did have a nice start to the story, and there was no indication that she said she hated it.  She just wanted to help you grow in storytelling, just like trl and weetzie were trying to help you grow in your picture taking.  :angel:

I just wish you wouldn't give up every time someone has something to say that you don't want to hear... it makes "them" win, and you "lose".  Always remember that a quitter never wins, and a winner never quits.  I know you're a winner, because I read somewhere that you won some blue ribbons in your Special Olympics events.  C'mon back and finish that race for us.  :smile bi:

Don't let us all down now by stopping your story now.  I'm sure you can always improvise on the next part, even though you kinda deleted what you had before.  It's what builds creativity.  Wink
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auntiejokisses
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« Reply #16 on: June 02, 2008, 07:48:59 am »

i'll have to start over. i don't know where i left off. the story will still have down syndrome kids in it... helpful adivse is welcomed. the story will be enjoyable. but please let me write in words that i can understand that spunk of winning will come back when i'm not in so much pain. the pain isn't in my heart. it's in my side going across my belly and underneath.
« Last Edit: June 02, 2008, 07:52:50 am by auntiejokisses » Logged

together we rock. reach for the star. Sorry, Jo, pic too big and twinkly, please find something smaller. The Management
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« Reply #17 on: June 02, 2008, 07:49:43 am »

NO NO! A story is all about your feelings! Who cares if other motherpoopers put you down! Write my friend, write! It's a really good story! If you need help with ideas ask me, I'll help! Pick that story up where you left off!
idea 1: does he teach the kids something new like how to stand up for themsevles?
Idea 2: Does the mother get a raise and they buy a better ________ (you fill it in here)
Idea 3: Does he and the mother fall in love?
Idea 4: MAKE IT UP AS YOU GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In this world theres always going to be somebody who doesn't like you, your ideas, or your hair or anything that's not their "way". But for every 1 of those people there are ten other peolple who like you for you! They like your hair, your ideas, and your story!!!!!!! Look at those comments, LOOK!!!! most of them are nice comments! Everyone does like your story! I do too! So where does the story 'Knox' go next? Keep write writting my story friend! Write on!
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EKozski
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« Reply #18 on: June 02, 2008, 07:51:10 am »

If you thew it away, start on a different story line where you left off. Change it a little bit. If you do, this one might even be better than the one you had started. Wouldn't that be great!

Like Tenshii said, you are winner! And, you'll keep on being a winner.
Show us what a winner like you can do.
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Tenshii~Akari
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« Reply #19 on: June 02, 2008, 08:08:38 am »

Quote from: auntiejokisses;1263696
i'll have to start over. i don't know where i left off. the story will still have down syndrome kids in it... helpful adivse is welcomed. the story will be enjoyable. but please let me write in words that i can understand that spunk of winning will come back when i'm not in so much pain. the pain isn't in my heart. it's in my side going across my belly and underneath.

You don't know where you left off?  I think it's easier than you think... :toothy8:  To me and everyone else:

Quote from: auntiejokisses;1262357
well i guess that you could call this chapter 2.
to help to pay the rent and the bills and seeing that my job takes me from the time my kids left for school til 10:00pm i took in a boarder. he seems to be a nice enough man. his name is TuPac Grey. he's very nice to the kids. the kids like him. i told TuPac that the kids have special needs. and they have downs syndrome. that their needs are differantly than what we need. their needs are a constant attention. he told me that the kids with special needs didn't bother him. the children to seem to adore him. they love the camera.

... This is where it ended for us last.  You may not remember where you left of in what you originally had, but either way we don't know what you had in store for us, so we'd never know it wasn't what you wanted.  :happy8:  Try going from this point above (when you last posted that part of the story) and see what happens.  You don't have to start completely over.  :lol:
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auntiejokisses
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« Reply #20 on: June 02, 2008, 08:12:21 am »

go to the first page to read chapter 1. i re wrote chapter 1. and fixed where some of the pictures suspose to go.
« Last Edit: June 02, 2008, 10:30:42 am by auntiejokisses » Logged

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CreativeReality
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« Reply #21 on: June 02, 2008, 02:43:12 pm »

Awesome story so far Cheesy. Keep it up!
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Leporidae
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« Reply #22 on: June 02, 2008, 03:55:03 pm »

I must say, you have improved a lot now that you have rewritten the story! You still need to improve a little, but I know that your sensitive (I learned that the hard way) so instead I'll just cheer you on Smiley
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auntiejokisses
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« Reply #23 on: June 02, 2008, 06:32:54 pm »

Leporidae,
i know you were just trying to help. i'm sorry too.
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together we rock. reach for the star. Sorry, Jo, pic too big and twinkly, please find something smaller. The Management
auntiejokisses
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« Reply #24 on: June 02, 2008, 07:06:36 pm »

opportunity Knox chapter 2.
the children are very loving and playful. after play and dinner i tell the kids to get their pajamas on. and i help them do their homework. and it's off to bed.


the kids are having problems with school. & with school work.


Tupac has been teaching the kids on how to cope with lifes ups & downs. and helping them to stand up, fight for what is right. no fist fights. or any harsh words. the kids are still getting teased, picked on & name calling. the kids talk to their mom tell her what's going on. & then they talk to Tupac. Tupac say's kids today are mean and cruel. he tells them your better than they are. Bobby say's that's what mommy say's too.
there's talk. that they are going to add a 2nd story to the house. Victoria wants to start a business. she wants to have a boarden home. she wants to take in boarders. she told Tupac that will help pay the bills, the rent. & the up keep of the house.

the kids are growing up so fast. soon Bobby & Sophi will be teenagers. boy how time goes by. for what Victoria and Tupac has taught the kids. it sure has payed off.
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steelguy
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« Reply #25 on: June 03, 2008, 02:41:32 am »

Hey, I'm so glad you carried on the story, and that so many people have encouraged you. Those kids have grown up well!
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dynasty
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« Reply #26 on: June 03, 2008, 03:30:44 pm »

oh, auntiejo, I just read in the picture perfect thread that you posted this story and I must say, I like it a lot! esp with the idea of bringing special needs children into the story, it sticks out of the "usually posted" stories! great work!!! keep it up!
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auntiejokisses
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« Reply #27 on: June 04, 2008, 01:37:46 pm »

i'm happy that your enjoying my story. there's more coming when i have a free time to call my own.
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together we rock. reach for the star. Sorry, Jo, pic too big and twinkly, please find something smaller. The Management
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« Reply #28 on: June 07, 2008, 10:49:48 am »

I absolutely love chaper 2! Awesome job so far.
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Theraven
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« Reply #29 on: June 07, 2008, 12:23:32 pm »

Good work, Auntiejo!

For that post on the previous page, I too have to say that constructive critim is what makes you a better writer. If you take advice, you will grow on it, and become an even better writer. I myself am always open for constructive critic, and I know that the more I write, the better my stories will be.

Comments like "This story sucks" or "I hate it" will only discourage you from writing, while positive comments like "I like it!" encourages you to write. But the best comments you can get, are those that make you grow as a writer, like "I like your story, but if you do this and this, and think about this, the story will become so much better". That is what constructive critic is.

Don't let critic stop you - but grow on it instead. Like Tenshii says: "A quitter never wins."

And a little advice in the end: remember that if you write about diseases and such, it's a good idea to read articles about them, to know as much as possible about what you're writing about. If you know your subject, it's so much easier to write. (I always do a lot of research before writing. It supports the background history, and no one can say I'm wrong afterwards Smiley)

*thumbs up* Smiley
« Last Edit: June 07, 2008, 12:28:46 pm by theraven » Logged

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