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Author Topic: Little Fire Burning (Ch. 85: Till death do us part *23.Apr 16*)  (Read 221163 times)
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vinhou
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« Reply #300 on: November 14, 2008, 03:21:36 am »

What a great, yet sad, update... can't wait for the next. Smiley
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Theraven
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« Reply #301 on: November 14, 2008, 05:53:32 pm »

Thanks everyone Smiley

Quote from: halfaheart4u;1453729
This really is something to read...I made it thru a fair bit but it hits too close to home. My great aunt had all boys and only a few of them are still alive because she was a carrier. I don't know if I really want to finish it now...great story telling though, and picture taking. You do a fantastic job.


That's really sad. It's horrible to loose someone from a disease, especially when you know all the time that you can't do anything about it. My oldest brother died when he was ten. Not from Duchenne - but from another disease (a very rare one - the doctors never found out what he had until several years later. But he most likely got it the same way, with my parents as carriers. They never knew anything until he got very sick about a year before he died). So I truly know how it is to loose someone.

I won't say whether or not there will be a good or bad ending to this story (because it would've spoiled everything) - but I am trying to write a good story, even if it might be very sad some places (that's why I always try to put in a few funny bits and pieces here and there - so that there won't only be tears, but maybe even a bit of laughter or some smiles awaiting for the readers too Smiley)

so now (while I've got the weekend free from my boyfriend Sad) I'll try to finish a couple of chapters so that I'll have some ready before my new 3D oblig starts...
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charleyhx
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« Reply #302 on: November 14, 2008, 06:53:43 pm »

omg poor adian.
a great update though.
i really hope he does'nt die! Smiley
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~simaholic
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« Reply #303 on: November 15, 2008, 02:45:46 am »

Wonderful writing once again theraven You have brilliant writing talents. I feel as if I personally know the family and that I feel their pain.
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kstradleigh
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« Reply #304 on: November 15, 2008, 03:24:00 am »

Good luck, TheRaven! I've never churned something out as fast as you do that actually is good! Your writing is superb, though! I have to work on a chapter for MONTHS before even I think it looks good enough! You are excellent!
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Theraven
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« Reply #305 on: November 15, 2008, 05:27:11 am »

well, I've been writing on this story for a long time (since before the contest ended). The story in writing is mostly done - it's just the pics I don't have ready Smiley
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Madison-Simple-As-That
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« Reply #306 on: November 16, 2008, 06:53:41 pm »

Can't wait, theraven. :'D
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teralis
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« Reply #307 on: November 16, 2008, 11:50:05 pm »

Ya' know, I've been following your story intently for weeks. It just keeps getting better and better. Sometimes I wish I could play your game. Just for a little while. This story makes me laugh, and cry. You've really done your research, and I appreciate your dedication. Just thought I'd stop by and tell you I admire you and your wonderful writing.
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Devomuffins
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« Reply #308 on: November 20, 2008, 04:03:27 pm »

I can't wait for an update!
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Theraven
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« Reply #309 on: November 20, 2008, 04:04:36 pm »

thanks Smiley

I've been *cough* busy lately (someone special should know all about that Cheesy) so I've not had the time to edit the pictures before now (because I've not even turned on my computer since sunday - wonders of all wonders... Cheesy). But the new chapter will come either later today, or tomorrow.
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Devomuffins
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« Reply #310 on: November 20, 2008, 04:06:23 pm »

YAYYY!
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Theraven
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« Reply #311 on: November 20, 2008, 06:21:01 pm »

Thanks for all the nice comments everyone Smiley. I'll try to do a few chapters this weekend, since my new oblig starts on Monday Sad - which means extremely much to do in very little time. We're supposed to make a 3D movie in only four weeks!

And I have to come with a warning: this chapter does come with a PG13, since it contains some not so pleasant themes. It's somewhat violent. But bear with me - I know what I'm doing. Don't forget - It's my story! (And just so you know - my boyfriend will come after any who sends me hate mail!)


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER 18: Into the fire
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lily couldn't find Aidan anywhere. This really scared her. How far could he get in a wheelchair on a small school ground? Especially when he could barely walk a few meters without using braces - and he usually didn't wear those at school unless his legs hurt a lot.


He had followed her out, and in the span of five minutes, he had disappeared like fog.
She sighed. The school bell would call in a few minutes, anyway. Maybe he would show up then? It wasn't like she had to keep an eye on him all the time - but on some level, she felt like she had to. He was her twin brother, for crying out loud! She had a right to keep an eye on him, to know where he was.
Grumbling, she continued searching.
When she entered the playground, she heard voices. Angry voices.
A wave of fear took her, and she followed the voices. As she turned a corner, she saw several older boys standing in a circle, kicking something on the ground. Or rather - someone.


Shivers ran up her back, feeling like someone had just emptied a bucket of ice water over her.
Because there, a little outside the circle of the huge boys, a ruined wheelchair lay on its side.
Aidan's wheelchair.


Panic and anger, side by side, welled up in her.
If she'd never before understood what "seeing red" meant, then she without a doubt understood it now.
Her heart started racing, pumping adrenaline through her body and making her ready for war as she ran toward the boys.


When she reached them, she grabbed one of the boys' jackets, throwing him with almost super-human strength down on the ground. Hard. The next boy got the same treatment, landing even harder.
She threw a third boy down on the ground too. She never even realized the boys were almost twice as big as her.
The rage and the fear gave her strength.
Some of the boys she pushed so hard they lost their balance, tripping in their own feet.
One boy, she slapped. Very hard. In the face. If he got a bruise, it would be his own fault.
"HOW DARE YOU? GET AWAY FROM MY BROTHER!" she yelled, loud enough for half the people on the school ground to hear. He shrank back from her, ghostly white in his face.


When she pushed another boy down to the ground, she could finally see Aidan. She threw away yet another boy, and to clear the way, she kicked and hit anything within her reach until she reached her brother. The kids still standing backed off when she snarled up at them.
She dropped to the ground next to Aidan, afraid of touching him in case something was broken.
"Aidan? Can you hear me?"
His face was bloody, mostly from his nose, and he had a huge black eye. Beneath the blood, his skin was almost white. His one good eye opened, and darted around until he saw her.


"Hurts," he groaned, struggling to draw a breath.
"Where?" she asked, feeling stupid as the word left her lips. Of course it hurt!
He lifted a weak hand up to his chest.
Lily's eyes widened. His heart. Again.
"Call an ambulance!" she screamed. "ANYONE!"
The boys around them looked afraid. They had every right to. They had come this close to killing her brother!
"What are you standing there for? DO IT!" Frustrated tears were running down Lily's cheeks now. She wanted to get up and run to find the nearest phone herself - but she knew she couldn't leave Aidan like this. She was probably the only one there with even the slightest little knowledge of first-aid. But more than anything, she couldn't leave him with the ones who had done this to him.
"Find a teacher!" she cried again. "Anyone!"


But the boys just stood there, gaping. Several others had joined them now, at a safe distance from Lily, but no one did anything. By the look of them, they seemed to think what was happening in front of them was like a TV show or something. Freaky entertainment. Or they were just too frightened to do anything.
Someone must have heard her screaming, because suddenly she heard an adult voice.
"What's happening?"
"Call an ambulance!" Lily yelled to the frightened teacher who came running. "HURRY!"
"Oh, my..." she said when she saw Aidan, and turned, running inside to call.


Lily comforted her brother as best as she could, trying to ignore the audience standing over them. She could spot the signs in Aidan's face that the pain in his chest was increasing. He was good at hiding pain, but not that good. She also noticed his arm was lying in a strange angle, and he groaned when she accidentally touched it.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to. I think it might be broken. Just try not to move, Aidan. It might make everything worse."
Aidan tried to say something, but coughed instead. Whatever it was he needed to get out, got caught in his throat. Lily knew from the first aid course (which their mother had sent the entire family to a short while back) that if he lay on his back and started throwing up or something, he could choke. She was still afraid of touching him, but being able to breathe properly was a lot more important than a broken arm, so she turned him carefully over on his side, lifting up his chin a little, so his airways cleared. He coughed again - finally able to draw a rasping breath.
Drops of blood ran from his nose and mouth.


Their audience shrank back, and Lily heard several of them gasp or saying things like "eeew", "yuck" or "did you see that?"
Lily glanced up. Children stood all around them now, watching the horrifying show in front of them. No one seemed to have heard the school bell calling five minutes earlier. Lily wanted to yell at them to go away, but knew it was no use. Instead she put a couple fingers on Aidan's wrist to find his pulse. Fast, jumpy and so weak she could barely feel it. The teacher who had called for the ambulance had come back, and was staring at the drama in front of her with panic in her eyes, afraid of doing anything.
Finally, after what felt like hours, Lily could hear the sirens. Then three paramedics came running toward them.


The pulse in Aidan's wrist disappeared, and Aidan's heart chose that particular moment to stop working properly, and he fell unconscious, his body going limp.
"NOOOOOOO!" Lily cried out. She felt strong arms dragging her away from Aidan. She kicked and hit, but they held her tight.
One of the paramedics crouched down next to Aidan, rolled him over and checking his pulse.
"Crap," he said, and ripped open Aidan's shirt, starting chest compressions. 
The second paramedic took out an oxygen mask with a balloon-like thing on it, and put it over Aidan's mouth and nose. The third fastened large, white sticker-pads to Aidan's chest, and readied the defibrillator they were connected to.
On the small screen, Lily could see a green, almost flat line. No spikes moving up and down like they always had done when Aidan had been at the hospital before. She knew all too well what it meant.


The arms trying to hold back Lily tightened around her. "There, there. Calm down. Let them do their job."
Lily looked up. The teacher who had called for the ambulance had her arms around Lily. She stopped fighting, and just let the tears run, while her own heart continued its panicked hammering inside her chest.


"Clear," the paramedic said, and punched a button. The others jumped away, and two seconds later Aidan's upper body arched when electricity jolted through his body.
There was a spike on the screen, but the mostly flat line continued like nothing had happened. The two other paramedics continued CPR while the one with the defibrillator waited for it to charge again.
"Clear," she said, and Aidan's upper body arched for the second time.
The flat line persisted.


Lily was over the edge of panic now, and felt like she had frozen stuck in the ground. She didn't know what to say, what to do, what to feel. All she knew was that her brother was near to dying. Her twin - who she had known since before they were born. Her brother - who she loved more than anyone else. Aidan - her best friend in the entire world. And all she could do was to stand there watching. It just didn't feel right.
They started doing compressions on Aidan's chest again, blowing air into his lungs with the mask. Once or twice there would be a single spike on the screen, but that was it.


"Clear," the paramedic said, and once again Aidan's body jolted. But this time, the line suddenly became irregular curves going up and down.
"Arrhythmia," the paramedic said, and waited for the defibrillator to charge again, while the others continued CPR.
"Clear," she said for the fourth time, and pressed the button again. This time the irregular curves became more like the familiar ones Lily remembered from before.
Lily let out a heavy breath, realizing she'd been holding it in.


"We have a pulse," breathed the paramedic. "But it's very weak, probably due to internal bleeding. And the boy still isn't breathing. Let's intubate and get him to the hospital as soon as possible." The others started checking Aidan's overall condition, while another put some kind of metallic instrument in Aidan's mouth, putting a tube down his throat. Lily closed her eyes and turned away. She had seen enough already, and felt like she was about to throw up.


"Are you OK?" one of the paramedics asked her. "Do you know him?"
"Aidan is my twin brother," Lily said, having troubles keeping the tears away.
"Oh. Well, don't be afraid. We'll take good care of him. You can follow us to the hospital if you want. We'll need your parents' names and phone numbers so we can call them."


Only five minutes or so later, after the paramedics had loaded Aidan into the ambulance, they were hurrying away to the hospital.
Lily sat in the back, holding Aidan's hand while two of the paramedics worked on him. He was still not out of danger. Lily kept an eye on the machine with the curves all the time, and so did the paramedics. The curves were not steady, like she knew they should be - and the numbers on the side kept rising and falling. She saw worry wrinkles in the faces of the paramedics - the kind her father always got when he was worried about something.
She gripped Aidan's hand even tighter.
"Hold on, Aidan," she whispered, as tears fell down her cheeks. "Please don't die!"

« Last Edit: September 12, 2019, 05:15:55 pm by Theraven » Logged

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Little Fire Burning - Chapter 85 out

~Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain~
kstradleigh
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« Reply #312 on: November 20, 2008, 06:26:23 pm »

WHAT? Kill those stupid boys! I didn't mean THIS when I said pick on! GRRRRRRR!
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kstradleigh
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« Reply #313 on: November 20, 2008, 06:28:51 pm »

I hope those dumb boys get expelled, or BETTER: jail time.
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Music_Is_Life
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« Reply #314 on: November 20, 2008, 06:50:42 pm »

Oh my flying pancakes, that's horrible!
Poor Aidan!! I really really really hope he lives, and that those boys get the crud beat out of them or just expelled.

Great update, even if the events contained in it are horrible!
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