Here's the second part. Just have to finish tidying and cleaning my room before doing the next chapter...------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 7: Needle phobia
Part 2
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The NICU had one of its calm periods with fewer than usual critical patients. We had a 28-weeker on her second week of Bili-light treatment for jaundice, a 32-weeker with breathing problems, and a boy who'd been born a couple days ago with a hole in his diaphragm, awaiting surgery. A set of twins born almost four months too early had been very critical for a while, but for the moment they were stable and seemed to be thriving.
Caring for the babies felt like therapy to me - even though the little ones reminded me a bit too much of my own children when they had been born. It was also the only way for me to block out anything else.
A couple sat next to one of the incubators, holding the hand of a little boy who'd been born with a hole in his heart, and had gone through surgery a few days earlier.
They had the worried looks I recognized from my own face the time it had been me sitting there, and the boy reminded me a little bit of Aidan.
To distract myself, I quickly read his chart and the new notes Celina had made earlier. He had been taken off the ventilator the day before, and was already showing signs of having the intended effect from the surgery. His fingers and toes were no longer blue, and he was showing interest in taking bottles.
I smiled to the mother. "Nathan sure is a little trooper, and it looks like he's doing very well. Would you like to hold him?"
"Can we?" she asked, her face lighting up.
"According to the doctor he should be strong enough now," I said, and opened up the walls of the incubator. I untangled a few of the wires, and lifted the baby out, deciding to do a quick diaper check first.
I swaddled him in a warm blanket, making sure all the wires and tubes were secured.
"Here he is," I said, and handed him carefully over to his mother.
She brightened up like the sun.
This was one of the things I liked the best with my job - seeing the happy faces of parents who were allowed to hold their children for the first time.
I remembered the first time we had been allowed to hold Aidan. He had been nearly three months old, and we had needed to use gloves and facemasks when we were handling him because he still was weak after all the infections he'd had.
Touching your little baby with gloves on just isn't the same. I had been so happy that day when we could finally discard the masks and gloves, and actually touch him. Hold him. Kiss him. Feel like we were really his parents.
The first time I had held Tony - and of course Lily - had been amazing too. Most mothers get to hold their children immediately after they are born. Holding Erica just seconds after her birth, all slimy and crying, had been one of the best moments in my life. Being able to take her home after just a few days in the hospital had felt even better.
When the baby was premature it could go days, weeks or even months before the parents were allowed to hold their baby. But when you were allowed, it was the best thing in the world.
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A few hours later, during our lunch break, Celina came in.
"The surgery went well. Aidan is in the PACU now, sleeping off the anesthesia. We'll have to monitor him closely for a few hours, since he had some troubles breathing after the anesthesia. The oxygen level in his blood is a bit too low at the moment, but he's getting there."
I hugged her, and followed her up to the PACU.
I then called Peter, and sat down next to Aidan's bed, taking his hand. I sat with him until they decided to move him to the Pediatric ICU, followed him there, and sat down by his bed again.
Peter came down to the hospital after handing off the rest of the kids to my parents.
After several hours of waiting, about an hour after Aidan had started breathing on his own and the tube had been removed, he finally woke up.
Groggy and rather grumpy, he reached his arms toward me, and I lifted him up, comforting him and telling him everything would be OK.
I hoped I was telling him the truth.
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