Insimenator.org
April 18, 2024, 11:51:20 pm *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News:
 
  Home   Forum   Help Search Calendar Login Register  
Pages: [1]
  Print  
Author Topic: Fighting Comfort  (Read 5272 times)
0 Members and 1 Chinese Bot are viewing this topic.
arielle22
Member

Posts: 133



View Profile
« on: August 19, 2008, 01:00:06 am »

This is my first sims 2 story so try not to be harsh

Chapter 1

My name is Amy Jones and my life is far from perfect



I used to be a typical teenager.Go to school , hang out with friends , you know.  Just  a typical teenage life.Then I met him...



This Ryan. He is my one and only soulmate. We were meant to be.My parents don't exactly approve of the idea of their only child dating but if they'd give him a chance they'd she how wonderful he really is.







Well getting back to my story,I graduated early and finally got my parents to let me get my own house.They dont know Ryan lives in it with me and pays half the rent, but what they dont know won't hurt them and its certainly not affecting me. or so I thought.......
« Last Edit: August 21, 2008, 06:40:48 pm by arielle22 » Logged

Whoops!<br />didn\'t mean to push that button...<br /><br />BACKSPACE
arielle22
Member

Posts: 133



View Profile
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2008, 05:47:12 am »

Me and Ryan had the perfect life together. No school , no worries , nobody but the two of us. It was how I had always pictured my perfect life and it was , until I started getting sick.



I started trowing up all the time and felt worse each day. Ryan tried to make me feel better but I knew I should go to the hospital.




I went to my doctor and he said I was pregnant
« Last Edit: August 21, 2008, 06:44:35 pm by arielle22 » Logged

Whoops!<br />didn\'t mean to push that button...<br /><br />BACKSPACE
arielle22
Member

Posts: 133



View Profile
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2008, 05:58:19 am »

My head started spinning and my thoughts were outta control. A kid!!
Im barely a kid let alone ready to raise one. I had to tell someone.So I decided to tell Ryan first.



He freaked out at first and made me take him with me to the hospital to confirm it.He eventually regained his cool and was sorta looking forward to having a baby.



That happiness didn't last long though. Because just then the doctor walked in and by the look I his face I could sense more bad news.
Logged

Whoops!<br />didn\'t mean to push that button...<br /><br />BACKSPACE
arielle22
Member

Posts: 133



View Profile
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2008, 06:09:02 am »

"Amy,Ryan"the doctor said as calmly as he could.
You're having TWINS!!!!




We both said there-speechless.

Ryan was too surprised to even comfort me. I mean one kid was enough but TWO. I had dreamed of having twins when I was little but now the thought of them was like a nightmare.

I knew I had to tell my parents but how!

And TWINS as if it wasn't bad enough.

I could feel my perfect life slowly falling apart.
Logged

Whoops!<br />didn\'t mean to push that button...<br /><br />BACKSPACE
Skori
Member

Posts: 190



View Profile
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2008, 04:19:57 pm »

You have a nice plot, but your chapters seem more like paragraphs.
Logged

WARNING: The above post may contain correct grammar, punctuation, and spelling according to the English Language. Side effects may include text blocks, crafty metaphors, and long RP posts. Use as directed.
:thumbup: - SPUNK RANSOM FOR PRESIDENT - :thumbup:
~Audrey :3
Theraven
The Bird Queen
Admin
*****
Gender: Female
Posts: 5054


Currently distracted by Something Shiny


View Profile WWW
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2008, 05:03:07 pm »

just a little friendly advice with the pictures - put the walls up when photoshooting, because it will look a lot better if you don't see everything in the background too. Also, it makes the pictures a bit more realistic - especially when the characters are inside a house. Also, try to avoid speech bubbles and such (the codes showheadlines off and plumbbobtoggle are very good storytelling helpers Smiley). Zooming in on faces so that you see them clearly is a god idea too. And you can also change the graphic settings so that the picture quality goes up a few steps (but just remember that the more picture quality, the slower computer/game you will get, but a little of it doesn't hurt Smiley. I've got everything on high, and my game is very slow - but I've got a slow PC and all the EP's installed, so that might be it, too...).

and like skori says - it does seem a bit more like paragraphs than chapters. But it's a nice plot Smiley
« Last Edit: August 19, 2008, 05:09:35 pm by theraven » Logged

My site:

Little Fire Burning - Chapter 85 out

~Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain~
arielle22
Member

Posts: 133



View Profile
« Reply #6 on: August 21, 2008, 06:37:30 pm »

Thank you skori and theraven for the tips i'll work on it and make the chapters more like chapters
Logged

Whoops!<br />didn\'t mean to push that button...<br /><br />BACKSPACE
arielle22
Member

Posts: 133



View Profile
« Reply #7 on: August 21, 2008, 08:19:08 pm »

The last thing I wanted to do was tell my parents.I knew they wouldn't approve.I mean come on they didn't even approve of me having a boyfriend let alone me being pregnant.And the worst part-with TWINS!!!!But I knew it had to be done and went to their house.



(Gosh I forgot how ugly the living room was)

I walked in and sat down.They were both surprised to see me.I went to sit down on one of the recliners but decided to stay standing.





"Why don't you have a seat Amy.",Dad said.

"No Thanks."

"So what brings you here?", Mom asked

"I have to tell you guys something important and please try to be understanding."I said my voice shaking.

"Whats wrong Ames? You know you can tell us anything."(Ames was what my dad called me when he was worried)

I sat next to them on the couch.



"Well I haven't been completely honest with you guys in the past couple of months."

"It's ok Amy."Mom said. I guess she could hear the worried tone in my voice.


"The truth is, Ryan moved in with me the day after I got the house."I could see Mom's face turning red.But before she had a chance to speak I started talking again."And now I'm pregnant.""With Twins."


They both jumped up off the couch and started yelling.And when I tried to explain Mom just covered her ears. She made me feel like I was four.



"Amy Jones!""How could you let this happen!"

Mom was screaming at the top of her lungs and Dad was speechless.

"Well your not going through with this are you?" Mom asked trying to calm down.

"Well I'm not getting an abortion and me and Ryan can take care of children."

"I knew that Ryan kid was trouble the moment I saw him"Dad always tried to be right but this time he wasn't.

"Ryan is not trouble and we love each other.And hes giving me more support than you guys ever will."

"Well your not allowed back in this house until you are done with that boy"Dad screamed.I could see Mom nodding her head in agreement.

"Then I never coming back" I responded and ran out the door.

Mom chased after me,crying and Dad was chasing after her.




It was raing hard but I didnt stop running until I was home. I knew I couldn't turn back.

When I got home Ryan was there to comfort me.I knew he'd be there for me and always would be.

« Last Edit: August 21, 2008, 08:22:50 pm by arielle22 » Logged

Whoops!<br />didn\'t mean to push that button...<br /><br />BACKSPACE
arielle22
Member

Posts: 133



View Profile
« Reply #8 on: August 21, 2008, 10:44:03 pm »

Ryan and I knew we needed a bigger house.So Ryan found a better job and we sold our house.Since we didn't have a place to live I started looking for a place where pregnant teenagers can stay for free.I found one near me called Riverblossom Hills Maternity Clinic.It was brand new and had just opened.It wasn't very big but it was nice.Nobody had come there yet so they let Ryan stay in one of the two rooms.It wasn't theideal living space but it would have to do until we found a new house.






Ryan was taking advanced classes in school in order to graduate before the babies were born so most days while he was at school I sat in my room thinking and watching my stomach grow.



When Ryan was home he liked to talk to the babies.They probably couldn't hear him but it was so sweet.He hating leaving me to go to school so I waited at the bus stop to tell him goodbye.I thought it might make him feel better



One day while Ryan was at school I felt a sharp pain in my stomach and went into labor.Everything else was ablur I heard a doctor say two boys but I only heard one baby crying.The doctor said one wasn't breathing and whisked them both away before I could get a glimpse of either of them.




They were two months premature and now I didn't know if they were both alive.I was worried sick and started sobbing. I was in to much pain to even get up and the three doctors the clinic had were all in the ICU taking care of my babies......or baby.
Logged

Whoops!<br />didn\'t mean to push that button...<br /><br />BACKSPACE
L0w3rfr3ak
Member

Posts: 131



View Profile
« Reply #9 on: August 22, 2008, 12:37:19 am »

It's okay...that last picture is really burry. lol. And try putting the walls up.
Logged

Sometimes I creep myself out....:chainsaw:
You're under my control...!
Now click this link: My Sims Cheesy
And check out my story~!: Belling's Curse Cheesy
arielle22
Member

Posts: 133



View Profile
« Reply #10 on: August 22, 2008, 01:16:12 am »

About an hour after the twins were born a nurse came in and told me they would live.I was so relieved.I hadn't even seen them yet but I loved them so much and if I had lost one of them I would have been devistated.Ryan got to the clinic around one.The babies had been born about five hours before and I was just starting to feel better.I talked to him and told him what I knew(which wasn't much).I put on some normal clothes and we both went to see our children for the first time.



We weren't allowed to go in the same room as them because of their fragile state so we looked through the glass in the waiting room.As soon as I saw them I started crying.Ryan hugged me tight and started crying too.Theyre laid our babies limp and helpless in their incubators attached to wires and tubes and all bandaged up.They were so small and just clinging on to life.Thay had only been alive for five hours and they were already fighting for their lives.



I couldn't control myself my whole pregnancy I dreaded having the twins but now I loved them more than anything and would give anything to let them live.



The doctors said we could come in their room and sit down but I didn't know if I could handle it.Eventually Ryan and I decided to pay them a visit.Of couse I cried again.They were even cuter and more pitiful up close and now I loved them even more.

Thats when I realized that the twins didn't have names yet.Me and Ryan thought and thought but couldn't think of anything.We hadn't even thought about names until now.Just then the doctor walked in and sai that the second born twin was healthy but he just need the oxgen tubes to help him learn to breathe on his own.He said he would be completely healthy in about three days.

I was so relieved it that he was going to be ok. It was the only good news I had heard all day.

Then it came to me-Noah

"Ryan I think we should name him Noah"I suggested

"It means comfort in Hebrew" I explained.

"I love it!"Ryan said knowing that comfort is what we had both felt when we had heard the news about Noah.


"Well, would you like to hold Noah"The doctor asked.

He didn't even need a response

Ryan said I could hold him first because he knew how badly I wanted to.(but I know he wanted to hold Noah just as badly as me)

I took tiny little Noah in my arms and nothing else in the world mattered right then.He was mine and he was going to live.



Ryan and I just went in to our own little world with Noah and just stared at him for what seemed like hours.

We were parents and there was no other feeling in the world like it.Tears of joy streamed down both of our faces as we watches our little Noah moves his tiny arm and make little giggling noises at us.



We finally had to let little Noah go back to sleep and just hoped his brother would be as lucky as him

« Last Edit: August 22, 2008, 01:28:56 am by arielle22 » Logged

Whoops!<br />didn\'t mean to push that button...<br /><br />BACKSPACE
Devomuffins
Member

Posts: 342


View Profile
« Reply #11 on: August 22, 2008, 07:02:03 am »

The writing here is good, but I think you really should heed the advice other players have given you.
Logged
Pages: [1]
  Print  
 
Jump to:  


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.034 seconds with 30 queries.
SimplePortal 2.1.1