Insimenator.org
March 29, 2024, 01:40:35 am *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News:
 
  Home   Forum   Help Search Calendar Login Register  
Pages: [1]
  Print  
Author Topic: *Blood Loss*Chapters 1 and 2 Updated  (Read 6678 times)
0 Members and 1 Chinese Bot are viewing this topic.
bigkitty75
Member

Posts: 47



View Profile
« on: October 26, 2008, 08:12:50 pm »


 Just so you know when you read this that it's about Vampire/Monster hunter family.

As I opened the door I felt the cool breeze blow my hair. I called to Books who was behind me waiting till I cam out.

" Come Books lets go. We gotta be there before night fall." I called to him as I walked away from him towards our destanation. He rubbed his neck with his hand in a neverous way.

B:"Liv are you sure we should be doing this. It could be dangerous." He questioned. I turned around and smiled at him. I put my hands on his shoulder and looked at him.

O(oLIVia):"Yes, for the hundreth time. Just don't let my dad see you, that's all. " I reasured him with a big smile. I gave him a pat on the shoulder and started to walk. He followed me.

We finally reached the abandoned church. We walked around for a while until I heard my dad.



Stay down!" he yelled to the vampire on the ground. The vampire was breathing deeply and a face of sheer terror was upon him. He lay on the ground trying to get up.His strenght was gone. I thought good thing it was still light out otherwise that vampire would have it's super natural power.

" Listen Sir Vindia we mean no harm." He spat . He voice was full of venom and some fear. My dad just laughed.

I did too. A friendly vampire HA! Yeah right as soon as there is one I won't want to be a vampire slayer.


As soon as my dad was ready to shoot him Books fell and made a freakish sound. My dad looks back as we rushed behind bushes to protect ourselves from his eyes. All he saw was some bushes moving but not us. As soon as he looked away the vampire had gotten up at started to run away. His strength was returning as he ran and the sun went down.

We saw a blur as my dad chased after him. That vampire was no match for my dad while the sun was out and he had no strength. We watch my dad dodge trees and jump over bushes. It was very amusing to me and awesome. I always respected what my dad did it takes a lot of courage. They finally got out of my view as they rounded the corner of the stone church..

When sat be hind some bushes. I leaved forward because the leaves were very pokey.

B:" That was a close one." he panted as he leaned back. I rested my head on my hand and looked at him.

L(oLIVia):" Yeah! Next time watch where you are going. Ok." I told him. I was becoming restless. I was getting tired of just always sitting there and watching him. It just made me want to be like him even more. I wanted to see some action! I needed to see some action! "I am going to go help him!" I announced as I stood up.

B:" What!?! I thought we were just going to watch! Remember?“ I just looked at him.

L: "I'll be able to do this. The sun still out!" I said as I pointed to it. After I made my case to him I walked away looking for my dad.


I walked and walked and kept getting darker. I couldn't find him. I stopped in my tracks to think somethings trough. Then all of a sudden I felt this burning feeling in my neck. I became wobbely and I felt like my insides were on fire. I was drifting in and out of consciousness. Then I new I was been attacked by a vampire. But how there was only on right?

I herd a gun shot from behind me. The vampire released me. I fell on my knees onto the ground. Then the tears poured out of my eyes the burned as they came out. My neck hurt so badly I couldn’t take much more. The pain was immense. I thought I had been shot I was in so much I could stand it. The pain was consuming me from the inside out. I forced myself to stay awake and stop myself from falling into an eternal sleep.
Everything was hazy I felt so cold and weak. I heard Books speaking to me. His voice was so distant but he was right next to me . As I lay the ground motionless and in tears.

B:" Oh my gosh! Your dad is gonna kill me when he finds out. Oh, I should have stopped you. Liv are you alright? " He said on the brink of tears. He was so nervous.

O:" No and it's not your fault. Ok. It's my mine." I said faintly with deep breathes in between each word.

B:" I have to get you home. You are gonna have to tell your dad. This could be… fatal!" He said but the last word was filled with so much worry and sorrow.

He helped me up and pulled me into a tight hug. "I am sorry" He whispered in my ear. I cried on his shoulder as he lifted me up. I started shaking and I couldn’t stop. I was freezing my skin was like ice! I am sure Books felt it on him. I drifted away for awhile.


We finally reached home. He laid me on my bed gently as he looked at my wounds from the vampire.

B:" Tomorrow you are going to need to tell your father. I am serious!" He told me. He kept talking to me about how this was his fault and then how it was my fault and how he was sorry and shouldn’t have let me go. " Liv...Liv...Olivia?" he started calling to me. I couldn't speak or make a sound. His words became slow and then I couldn't hear them anymore or anything. Next I couldn't move at all. Then everything went black.





The end of the prologue...or is it?Huh?


-BACK AT THE CHURCH-

“Nathaniel did you get him?" said the women vampire with so much hatred in her voice towards that man..

"No. Narcissa, you should be glad that the sun went down or else I would've been dead! I barely escaped." He panted at her. He was clearly out of breath and worn down from his escape.

"Ugh! He's become to strong. We must tell Dracula. He'll be able to kill him.

I think killed his girl but that boy that’s always with them shot Me." she said her voice filled with worry and rage. Then she pointed to her back where she was shot, this black substance poured out of the bullet hole.

"Eww. At least that's one of the Vindia's we got. " He laughed then she laughed. They both disappeared into the darkness.


Ok it's the real end. Tell me what you think!!
« Last Edit: December 29, 2008, 11:07:26 am by bigkitty75 » Logged

Starwish001
Member

Posts: 85



View Profile
« Reply #1 on: October 27, 2008, 06:50:15 am »

Different and interesting! I like it:)
Logged

vickylougrl
Member

Posts: 505



View Profile
« Reply #2 on: October 27, 2008, 08:14:05 am »

I love vampires.  Looks interesting.  Pictures look pretty good only I wish they were bigger so I could see them better.
Logged

Coptic Text
Now, when you come under their power, one of them who is the overseer will say to you: "Who are you, and where are you from?"

You are then to say to him, "I am a child of humanity and I am from the Source."
bigkitty75
Member

Posts: 47



View Profile
« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2008, 06:45:01 pm »

This is Changed Chapter 1. I hope you enjoy. Oh and just a little background info Books and Olivia are not dating. Also the call him BOOKS because he reads alot of books on like monsters and creatures so he helps them in that way. OK! so continue forward!
I woke up the morning with the most terrible neck pain every. It felt like it was on burning from the inside. My whole body ached with pains I couldn't even begin to desrcibe. I stood up, my knees ached tremendously. Then my thoughts came flooding back into memory like a vision but from the past. Everything became clear to me. Last night , my dad, the vampires, and the...bite.
 I rushed over to the mirror looked at my face nothing was diffrent. My skin was the same not white and my hair was brown not black. But the one last are I hadn't checked was my teeth. I slowly opened my mouth and saw them. A pair of giant white fangs. They hung there and looked so natural on me like...like I was meant to be this. I thouhgt to my self no, no I can't become the thing I hate the most.
I stood there and thought to myself. I remember that Books told me I NEED TO TELL MY DAD. I could see this more apparent now. I really needed to but how would he take? What would I say? A bunch of questions crowded my mind. I could not think straight at all. It was becoming unbare able. So I just went to tell my dad weither or not it was the best thing.
I saw him in the livingroom sitting there just sitting. So I deduced that he had just gotten home from where ever he disappeared to last night. I stopped dead in my tracks hoping he couldn't tell I was there just incase I whimped out. One last thought controlled my mind " how could he love me still when I am becoming the thing that took his true love away, my mom." With a bold step I walked into the silent room. My footsteps seemed to echo.O:" Dad..." I whimpered quitely. It was almost like every word I said was super loud and slow.
D:" Yeah Liv?" he questioned with concern. My tone must have been a worried one for him to reply.
O:" Stay calm" I said as I motioned for him to sit. " I need to tell you something about last night." He only nodded. " Well... you see me and Books followed you to the abandonded chruch last night. And I went to go and find you. But I couldn't and then...then.." I said as I tried to hold back the tears. " Then I-I-I got bit." I finally spit it out.

I opened my mouth to reveal my two large Fangs. Then I tilted my head and it revealed the two puncture wounds from the vampire. He got up and just looked at me. No emotion. He just stared into my eyes.
O:"Daddy, I am still your little girl. It's still me." I pleaded to him.
He hugged me in his warm embrace. When my dad hugged me I felt so safe and welcomed. I new he loved me even now that I was CHANGED.
D:" Olivia there might be a cure for this." He told me with so much hope to save me from this transformation.
I nodded and started to follow him upstairs. We exited the livingroom into the foyer.
I was suddenly in an embrace as my dad waled upstairs. I was shocked at first but then I soon relized it was Books. He must have ran through the door and didn't even shut it when he saw me. He just ran to me and hugged me. We stood there for awhile then he spoke up.
B:" I am so glad your are safe."
O:" Safe maybe but not O.K." I said as I showed him my fangs. Then I told him the whole senario and he follwed me upstairs.

 I layed there on the couch and Books sat on the floor as my dad searched through his many thounsands books. I slowly stretched out onto the couch releasing a silent yawn. We spent hours after hours waiting, hoping that my dad would find the cure. If there was a cure...

-BACK AT THE ABANDONDED CHURCH- (diffrent POV)
I stood next to my dad as the other vampires slowly approached us. They were scared and frightened. My dad had the power to that to anyone. He was the strongest vampire after all. I hated him for that.
" Dracula...Master... you-you asked to see us" said the girl full of fear.
His eyes were shut but then they opend. Like he was being snapped out of a transe. He glared at them and bore his teeth too.
D"Why didn't you get him!"
NAT:" Well you see funny thing is it was still sunlight out and so ya know... no strenght." he said his voice trailig off on the end.
D:" SO! I comanned you to kill him!"
NAR:" Well I got the girl master."
D:" NO YOU DIDN'T" his voice shook the whole room."I've see her in my vision alive and strong and when she reaches 21 she will be unstoppable! You must cut her down NOW!!
Nathaniel and Narcissa just shook there heads out off utter fear of my father. Unlike me they actually had respect for him.
They all left me standing there. In my heart I knew what was right. I needed to warn her!
Logged

bigkitty75
Member

Posts: 47



View Profile
« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2008, 07:09:20 pm »


So Hey everyone! Here's the second chapter of changed. I hope you enjoy it. As always I am so sorry for any spelling mistakes. Plz forgive me! So I think I am gonna call this one "It's not your fault" cause I am listen to this song by New Found Glory so That's what it will be called.lol
So don't really pay any attention to that.
Sign my gb and rate as you wish. ( Had to put that line from the Princess Bride in there)
So go ahead and continue...
I lay there on my bed scared so I shut my eyes for everything to go away. I was all alone until I
heard Books I looked to see him but he wasn't there. They took away from me and killed him. Still I stood there all alone. I new they were there somewhere waiting to finish what they started. To finish me off. They came out of the shadows and surounded me. They were every where. The vampires came closer and closer...
I woke up immediately in a cold sweat my heartbeating 10,000 miles per hour. I swung my legs over the side of my bed and turned the light on my night stand on. I rested my hands on my bed and took a few deep breathes. " It was just a dream... it was just a dream" I told my self over and over again as I slowed my heart rate down. I felt inclosed the walls were shrinking around me.
" Are you sure about that?" said a voice from in my room. I was all alone I was sure of that or was I?
I slowly turned my head. I took it in black hair pale and pale pale skin. VAMPIRE. I turned to my night stand in a hurry to find my gun my dad had given me. It wasn't there. I had remembered that since there was no cure for this,I was becoming a vampire. Which meant I had vampire powers like super strength. I stood up and gave a really good punch that sent him flying across the room with out a sound.
He landed on the floor on his back wiht a thud. I walked towards him as he lay there. I thought to my slef that would have been so awesome if I wasn't wearing my Pj's. He pushed him self up with him arms. As I look down at him he made eye contact with me.
His eyes were blue and filled with life. Unlike any vampire I'd seen before. He wasn't angry or enraged. He...he..he looked sad and scared. Sincere. He didn't mean any harm to me at all I could tell it all by his eyes. He didn't need to say anything I knew. I didn't even need to say anything for him to understand I was sorry. I held my hand out he grabbed it. It was unlike anything I had felt before maybe it was because I've never held a vampires hand or there was something special about him.
O:" I am Olivia. You're a vampire right?" I asked just to make sure I didn't jump to conclusions.
J:" Yeah I know who you are and Yes I am a vampire, I am Jacob. I am here to warn you."
I pulled out my computer chair and sat down on it. I listend intently for the next 10 minutes in which he explained how they were after my dad but now they want me and how his dad was Dracula.
After he was done talking I took it all in. I knew how much he was risking to come and tell me this. He could die because of this. I got up and hugged him. I told him thanks for warining me. When we hugged it was like I'd known him all my life. It was almost like we were friends. Until...
He was near my neck. He eyes grew wide and soul less. He opend his mouth which revealed his large fangs. He inched closer and closer. I could feel it in he was losing control it was consuming but he was trying to fight it as hard as he could.
knew it was comming that unbare able pain. I was certian this time it would consume me and kill me slowly from the pain that it caused. I stiffened up bracing my self for the sharp pain.But it never came. I was safe he had gotten control of himself and stopped. He pulled away from me. I stared into his eyes to find what was wrong.
His face was full of remorse ad sorrow.Yet there was some confusion unsure what was about to happen. He looked away from me and didn't look back at me. All he said was " I am sorry."
I blinked and he was gone. He had left me here before I could say good bye. " It's not your fault." I whispered as if he could hear me. Walked to my bed and and shut the lights off. This time I had no nightmares and I wasn't scared . I dreamt of how when Jacob had hugged me how safe I felt. Until that little part where he almost bit me. But there was somethind different about him...something magical.
Jacob's POV -back at the abandonded church-
I slowly opend the front door of the chruch. I felt awful. I thought I wasn't like the other vampires. The ones who hated people who wanted to suck there bool and kill them. But I was I wanted to drink Olivia blood. My thoughts were confused between : do I really like her or do I just want her blood. I walked silently up the stairs in to the main room.
Nathaniel questioned me harshly " Where haver you been!?"
"No where of consequence." I replied trying not to give anything away.
"I'll handled this." My dad said through gritted teeth." Because unfortunately he is MY son." His words hit me hard he was always putting me down becuase I wasn't as good as my brother. That's why I never wanted to be a vampire. If he was the greatest vampire then I wanted nothing to do with it. I wanted to be normal. They took Olivia's one chance of being normal way. I resented the for that.
He appeared right in front of me. He towered over his face full of anger and hatetred towards me.
D:" I know you went to Vindia's house. You told his little girl about our plan. You think you can save her." He yelled at me.
J:" Father I was just out taking a walk I swear to you." I pleaded to him.
D:" You lie!." he pushed me down with such force." I sent those 2 too follow you. They saw You!!! I can believe them because they don't LIE TO ME!!!!" he yelled at me. He started beating me up. Vampires are usually invincible but not to Dracula. He could hurt any vampire at any time. This time it was me.
When we pushed me down I fell backwards on to my butt. My body nocked the pew behind to the side. I put my hands down to push me back up but he stopped me.
He pushed my with his ice cold hands on to me back. Then he spoke.
"Yout think you could save her. What could you do you're worhtless. You brother would never forsake me like this." He yelled down at me. I stared up into his soulless foul eyes. And I thought to my self that my brother would forsake him he just afraid too. My face was so vial hid any sign that my heart was broken inside. With that my father picked me up and trough me into the cell.
"You stay here until you learn your lesson if yoou learn your lesson!" He mocked at me. My father and Nathaniel stood there and mocked me with such hate because I wasn't like them. I didn't want to be one of them. I wasn't like them and could stand to thing I was the same thing they were a monster.
This cell was familar to me because I've been here sometimes pushed to the edge of my life. But this time it was diffrent. I enter the cell on the edge of life. Bruised and battered my tears rolled down my face. I felt the slat from them sting my wounds. I thought how Olivia need me to be there. Now she's gonna die because of me. "Why oh Why" I thought " Did I need to love her."
End of chaper 2!! Have any comment or suggestion just tell me! So I really would LOVE LOVE LOVE it if you told me what you thought and your suggestions to help make it better. I am pretty much open to anything!!
Logged

bigkitty75
Member

Posts: 47



View Profile
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2008, 11:07:56 am »

Should I continue this one too??
Logged

Angel of Death
Member

Gender: Female
Posts: 34


That's my life


View Profile WWW
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2008, 06:08:20 pm »

Vampires are always cool and yes you should continue this too. Brilliant beginning
Logged

I've brought booze, home made fags and the Grim Reaper.
Lets get this party started!
LadyAzmodan
Member

Gender: Female
Posts: 286



View Profile WWW
« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2008, 02:11:06 pm »

I think its a cute story, and you definitely should continue. Cheesy
Logged

Beatles
Member

Posts: 14


View Profile
« Reply #8 on: February 22, 2009, 08:20:14 am »

OMG
Its twilight but better i love it
please more your a brillant writer stephenie meyer mvoe over an inch
Logged
Pages: [1]
  Print  
 
Jump to:  


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.033 seconds with 30 queries.
SimplePortal 2.1.1