Most Ridiculous Answers to Essays

[VaVe]

We just had exams and one of them was for music, i was told to describe a piece of 20th centuary orchestal stuff that was being played, for 10 marks.
My answer:
Well this composer obviously took the idea of a cat in a bag one step furter. He added a couple of birds and some mint ice cream and used a blender. That mixture was then left to simmer on a pan which was beaten with the cats pre-removed skull.
Needless to say I am failing that subject...

[Karla!]

jajajjajaja these are all HILARIOUS guys!

once my math teacher was trying to teach us how y depends on x (y=2x+3)
so we had to do a cause and effect chart..
i asked the teacher if we could do anything we wanted and she said "yes, as long as
it makes sense" so my friend and I felt like being silly and this is what we came up with...


cause                                  effect

if i chop off my hand..            i wont have a hand anymore!
if i take a shower..                my hair will get wet.
if i spit on the teacher's face   her cheeks will have saliva!

and on we went xD

the teacher got super pissed but we still got our 100
i mean, it made sense didnt it?

[rachel039926]

lol, for a few essay questions on my german tests, I just flat out said stuff about poop and farting and what not XD

[Lollipop]

  lol I had to answer some essay questions and one was like do you think that the taboo's in modern culture are backwards? I was tired and hungry so i just put:
Well, no...because if they were they would be spelled like this oobat, wouldn't they?

  this is why i should always be fed....lol x

[Medagic]

This didn't happen to me, but one of my teachers told my class this story about one of his college professors.
The final exam completely consisted of: Why?
So lots of people started writing huge essays on everything they ever learned in class (my teacher included) and their grades were B's and some A's.  Two very brave people answered simply:
"Why not?" and "Because I said so!"
Those two people got A pluses.  Lol! 

[Jenna]

I found an old Biology test of mine when I was cleaning out some clutter a while ago. And I quote:

"You come across two lions fighting for control of a territory. One is clearly larger than the other, but sports a limp. The other is smaller and younger, but more agile. What do believe the outcome would be?"

My answer: "You wouldn't live long enough to find out."

[SenkoTwiik]

Hahaha, Jenna that was funny.
Maybe some of these answers will help show teachers not to ask such stupid questions on tests.

[DaSpecial1]

Speaking of old school amswers...  I was a lil PO'd at my American lit professor in college.  He'd teach but then when he had an exam I quickly learned he liked only answers that were in total agreement with his own (like he knew Faulkner and Hemingway personally ).  I got mad because on the exam he'd alway ask a "what is your opinion of (whatever character or act we were reading)?" question but then subtract points if he didnt agree.
So on his last exam he added an extra credit (what is your opinion of...?) question, so I wrote:

"Well  you asked for my opinion so here it is: " --> (wrote mine here)     "But since you usually prefer your own..:"--->(wrote his) He wasn't amused.

[StupidFriday]

Speaking of old school amswers...  I was a lil PO'd at my American lit professor in college.  He'd teach but then when he had an exam I quickly learned he liked only answers that were in total agreement with his own (like he knew Faulkner and Hemingway personally ).  I got mad because on the exam he'd alway ask a "what is your opinion of (whatever character or act we were reading)?" question but then subtract points if he didnt agree.
So on his last exam he added an extra credit (what is your opinion of...?) question, so I wrote:

"Well  you asked for my opinion so here it is: " --> (wrote mine here)     "But since you usually prefer your own..:"--->(wrote his) He wasn't amused.

GO YOU for stickin it to the man!!!

I did something similar in 10th grade, we had to read a poem about the "hardships" of some man, I think he was meant to be "representing" something (not like it matters now). The questions were something like this:
   5. Do you feel sorry for [insert characters name here]? Explain?
I wrote: No because I have had to learn about this since I was 6 years old and I'm getting sick of all this propaganda you are force-feeding to us you condescending cow.
   6. What metaphors has the poet used to make you feel sorry for [insert character here]? Explain their effect on you?
I wrote: Hmmm this is a pretty closed ended question now isnt it Mrs [insert last name of teacher here]? I already told you I DONT feel sorry form him!!! NOW  STOP TRYING TO FORCE ME TO FEEL SORRY FOR SOMEONE JUST BECAUSE YOU DO!!!

I had argued so many times before that with her on that subject. I almost made her cry once because no student had ever challenged her ideals before. I can see why she didnt like me but I wasnt willing to drop my beleifs just for a few good marks. And incase anyone is wondering I never got my marks back (she went on maternity leave) I would have loved to see what she would have written about my answers

[DaSpecial1]

I totally agree with you SF.  I say don't ask me a "what is your opinion on this" kind of question if you don't really want MY opinion.  It's absolutely absurd! How can you get your own opinion wrong?  Meh, nutty professors...

[twinklelilstar]

It wasn't an essay, but just an assignment. We had to write about 50 vocabulary words & def. so my friend and I decided to make it fun. We wrote each one different. One was upside down, one was so small you needed a magnifying glass. We even wrote one completely backwards. We didn't get any credit for it...

In Florida, we have a test that's really important and determines if you pass or fail, and some questions require that you write a paragraph for an answer. The question was something about how animals help the world, and friend wrote about how Looney Tunes entertain kids everyday. It was priceless.

[VaVe]

We just had a physics exam about sound waves etc. one of the questions was "you live in an apartment and your neighbour makes a lot of noise late at night. Explain a practical method for reducing the noise heard in your apartment."

One answer was to ask them to be quiet.

They got the marks for it.

[soulofthesea]

i had to write something for world history over the economic imperialism of China in the 19th century. and this is how the question went:

"What was [insert Chinese dude's name here]'s opinion on the opium trade and how it affected China?"

i just answered: "Well, since he was one of over 12 million Chinese people who were addicted to opium, i guess he was just too stoned out of his mind to even care."

needless to say, i got an A on that test

[blakergirlz]

My favorite was my Alg2 final last year. I wrote one word on each line, so if you read down the paper it said "What's the point of this class? Have I ever told you I really hate you?"[There was more, but you get the idea] And on the paper we were supposed to show our work on, I drew goldfish, unicorns, etc.

My friend topped me with the Alg2 final though: she colored a rainbow across the entire thing with colored pencils.

We both passed the final.

[drcrzy]

My mom told me about a time in college when a friend of hers was asked to write a 1000 word essay on how to make soup. She started out normal, get ingredients, etc, and then just repeated the phrase "...and let the water boil and boil and boil and boil and boil...etc" until she had enough words, and then continued to explain how to make soup. I wish I knew what she made on that test... xD