Venting, Venting and More Venting.

[Mooncat]

I'm not a Christian, but it bugs me that you can't hardly say "Merry Christmas" without upsetting someone.

I don't get what all the hysteria is for.

If you're Christian, wish me "Merry Christmas"
If you're Pagan (like me), wish me "Blessed Yule"
If you're Jewish, wish me "Happy Hanukkah"
If you're African-American, wish me "Joyous Kwanzaa"
Or, just wish me "Happy Holidays"

It bothers me that people can't get past religious differences and see the meaning of the words: I wish you well.

[caffeinated.joy]

Couldn't have said it better. After all, we're all celebrating our own holidays during this time of year, so people really do need to take whatever well-wishes they get in the spirit in which it was intended instead of missing the point altogether and picking a fight. Instead of saying "I don't worship your holiday so [insert insult/slur here]" try simply saying "Thank you."

[Mooncat]

Couldn't have said it better. After all, we're all celebrating our own holidays during this time of year, so people really do need to take whatever well-wishes they get in the spirit in which it was intended instead of missing the point altogether and picking a fight. Instead of saying "I don't worship your holiday so [insert insult/slur here]" try simply saying "Thank you."

Right on.

[Theraven]

I'm with you on that.

I'm more for "happy holidays" than "merry christmas". I've never been particularly religious (even back in my innocent childhood, when I sort of was), so I'm glad we have a more neutral term for christmas in my language (sort of like the old "yule").

I see the holidays as one of the original versions of the holiday, which was a mid-winter celebration of brighter days to come, and not without the whole Christian thing. That part came later... Although the Christian bit did add some nice stuff to the selection of decorations and songs.

But I don't really mind what version of it people use. There's a good intention behind all the different versions, and all of them mean to say the same - a wish for people to enjoy the holidays, no matter which version they celebrate.

[Katie]

I actually had this discussion today with one of my acquaintances, after he'd been posting on Facebook about how being told "Happy Holidays" offends him because he is Christian and Christmas is about Jesus being born and that we should say "Merry Christmas" because the holidays are all about Christ... Obviously, his logic is off. People don't say Happy Holidays as a different way of saying Merry Christmas, they say it to acknowledge all of the holidays that come around this time of year- Kwanza, Christmas, Hanukkah, whatever else there might be. I personally understand his desire to keep Christ in Christmas- although that is not my personal view on the subject. I do not, however, understand why "Happy Holidays" would offend him. It's clear he's not considering the people out there who are another religion and do not practice the same holidays. Normally, the matter wouldn't bug me, but the way he said it I just couldn't deal with it... If you want people to be sensitive to your religion, shouldn't you be sensitive to theirs?

[DaSpecial1]

I actually had this discussion today with one of my acquaintances, after he'd been posting on Facebook about how being told "Happy Holidays" offends him because he is Christian and Christmas is about Jesus being born and that we should say "Merry Christmas" because the holidays are all about Christ... Obviously, his logic is off. People don't say Happy Holidays as a different way of saying Merry Christmas, they say it to acknowledge all of the holidays that come around this time of year- Kwanza, Christmas, Hanukkah, whatever else there might be. I personally understand his desire to keep Christ in Christmas- although that is not my personal view on the subject. I do not, however, understand why "Happy Holidays" would offend him. It's clear he's not considering the people out there who are another religion and do not practice the same holidays. Normally, the matter wouldn't bug me, but the way he said it I just couldn't deal with it... If you want people to be sensitive to your religion, shouldn't you be sensitive to theirs?

I agree with all of you, especially with the sense in that last question Katie.  Personally "Happy Holidays" was always a convenient way to cover all the holidays from Thanksgiving to New Years Day.  I still feel that way.   I never knew there was a controversy save media-related nonsense. Whatever someone says I just appreciate the thought and wish them well in return. I just prefer mellow warmth to nitpicking in life generally anyway .


Happy New Year!

[Mooncat]

As a young woman who is wheelchair-bound due to a debilitating disease, one of the worst things I've ever been told by others (healthy, able-bodied people) is, "I know how you feel."

With all due respect, no. Just no. You have no idea how I feel.

You have no idea what it's like to fall on the floor, sit there, and cry because your legs refuse to work.

You don’t know how a simple act of getting off the couch to go to the bathroom can be as tiring as walking all day. Without any breaks.

You don't know what it's like to be awakened from a deep, restful sleep by uncomfortable –and sometimes painful– leg spasms in the middle of the night.

You don't know what it's like to struggle every day with the worry of spilling, dropping, or breaking something because your hand might have a muscle twitch or spasm at the wrong time.

You’ve never cursed at the world for having a body that doesn’t work right.

To those of you who have never had to live with any of these chronic impairments, please do not tell me that you know how I feel.

Because you truly have no idea.

I know your intentions are good, and your heart is in the right place. I know that you only care and that you want to express sympathy. I understand that, and I appreciate it. But I personally see it as condescending; I feel like it makes a mockery of what I struggle with on a daily basis.

To be blunt: it is an insult to me.

I am not going to say that I speak for everyone with chronic illness on this, because that is not my place to do so. But I am speaking for myself, and I am speaking loudly: don't tell me you know how I feel.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I FEEL.

[caffeinated.joy]

Hm. Well I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I can sympathize. I've never been in a wheelchair, but...

I'm blind in one eye and have bad scar tissue in my ears that gets inflamed from time to time. Both things make me a first class klutz, and I drop things. All the time. I work in an auction house and handling the ancient, very expensive china pieces fills me with terror. My big fear is I'm going to misjudge the distance between me and counter and drop it.

A few years ago I was slammed to the ground heart enough to dislocate my pinky finger on my right had and completely separate the tendons between the joints. It bends like no finger should. I have bad scar tissue across my knuckles and it makes me drop things. All the time.

During this same incident my face bounced off the concrete and I fractured my right occipital bone. Dizziness and vertigo. Banging into crap.

Because I'm a klutz and have no grace I fell off a trotting horse and hurt my back pretty badly. I'd wake up some mornings with no feeling in my legs and, if I tried to just bounce out of bed I'd fall right to the floor. When my father was sick and the phone woke me up. I'd fly out of bed, fall on my face, and drag myself across the carpet, crying in frustration because I knew I wouldn't get the phone on time.

Between my reckless youth, lack of grace and clumsy nature, nothing works the way it should anymore. I can live with it, but, boy there sure are times when I curse it.

I will never assume to know how you feel. But I can, will, and do empathize.

[Katie]

Mooncat, a year ago I would have sympathized to a certain degree.

Not anymore. Obviously I don't know how you feel, I'm not wheelchair-bound. But, its a possibility in the near future if they can't get my illness under control.

I empathize so incredibly well with your issue with people saying "I know how you feel" because everyone is always saying "I get dizzy when I stand up too fast too" and sometimes I ignore it because they don't know any better but oh my gosh is it annoying. I have an illness that very slowly kills me when I stand, you have a head rush. I get a head rush every time I sit up, for Christ sake!

But worse than that? "You're young and healthy..." What. What. What. What. W h a t. W h a t. what? I'm not healthy?! I'm chronically ill, I'm going to be sick for the rest of my entire life I have a 0.02% chance of achieving remission even if you don't factor in the other arrhythmias I have that worsen my condition and limit my treatment options. I used to vomit daily, I've been caught several times sitting on the floor of public places, I have to leave the room to lay with my legs in the air at every holiday gathering. I have to count spoons.

If you don't have to count spoons, don't comment on my health or lifestyle with spoons. Don't. Don't do it.

And while I'm on the subject, Thanksgiving... the wonderful time where I'm surrounded by everyone saying "I'm thankful for my healthy family, and for my good health." *Audible gagging sounds* I'm glad you're all  healthy, but why in the world do you see being sick as the worst thing that could happen to someone? It's horrible every day, but were still people.

I could vent for days on this one, and probably should, because I'm not entirely through the grieving process yet.