Alone

[flid]

Just incase you wanted to read the story before A Fathers Sacrifice

This is actually the story of Morgans parents and how she got to where her story started.



Index

Part 1

[flid]

Where am I? This road seems to go on forever? Well that’s if you can call it a road, more like a dirt track. How did I get here?


Oh great rain, that’s all I need, I am lost and what’s this? I am pregnant? Why don’t I remember that? Why don’t I remember anything?
Ok calm. I am….. erm, my name is…… god I don’t even know who I am.


Oh what am I going to do? My head hurts so badly and it’s getting cold. Maybe if I carry on I will find somewhere to stay, surely this is just a bad dream. That must be it if I find somewhere and sleep they maybe I can wake up in my real world.


My feet ache; this barn will have to do.


Oh great it’s a stable, gee I hope it isn’t Christmas Eve and my name isn’t Mary that would just be too weird. Ok I am going insane. I am talking to my self.


At least there is no one here; if I just lay down here for a while I am sure I will wake up normal again, what ever that is. I wish I could just remember. I hope the owner doesn’t come here. What would they say to some strange pregnant woman taking camp in their stable? Well I guess I will just have to worry about that if it happens.


Now when I open my eyes I am going to back to normal with full memory of who I am and not be pregnant.


Aarrrggghhh. Ok big blue eyes staring at me that was freaky.

“What are you doing in my stable? Asked the voice.

Ok big blue eyes must be real, just open your eyes and look.

“Nope still there” I said
“Pardon?”
“Never mind.”


“Who are you?”
“erm, well I am.”

Oh god nothing has changed, I still don’t know who I am and I am awfully hungry, wow never felt hunger hurt like this before.

“Are you ok?”
“Do I look ok to you Mr?”
“I think you need a doctor stay there.”


Yeah right like I am going anywhere and even if I did where would I go? God and my stomach, I mustn’t have eaten in days.
And oh god what’s that? I am incontinent? How did I manage to wet myself and not feel it? Oh well this is just great this is, well I better get out of here before I cause my self anymore embarrassment.


I heard the blues eyes voice guy coming back and it sounded like he was talking to some one.

Well this is just brilliant, here I am not knowing a thing, with major stomach ache and a bladder problem and here comes Mr Blue Eyes and some woman, ground please feel free to swallow me up right now.


“Oh my dear, what on earth happened to you?” said the woman.
“erm.”

It would be nice to say something better than erm, but right now it’s all I know.

“Who did this too you? She asked.

I am not going to say erm again.

I just smiled instead

which of course was probably more idiotic than erm, but hey.


“It looks to me like you’re in labour my dear.”

Labour? What she talking about…….NO! She means……..

“No, no I can’t be, I didn’t even know I was pregnant till last night.” I said
Blue Eyes burst out laughing. “Didn’t know you were pregnant, how could you have missed that, I mean it’s not as if you’re at the beginning of a pregnancy.”
“Cade, you’re not helping.”
“Sorry, I’ll just go over to the house.” Said Cade
“Oh no you’re not Cade, your helping me deliver this young ladies baby.”
“But I…”
“Cade!” she said sternly.
“Ok I’ll help I mean I have delivered cows babies before.”

Why the cheeky…….if it didn’t hurt so much to move I would go over there and lamp him one, big sexy blue eyes or not he called me a cow.

I just scowled at him instead
“What did I say?” he asked.


They managed to get me into the house, with me walking propped up on them and the two of them leading to way, though I do think It was more of Cade dragging me that actually got me into the house.

“Now you relax on this bed and we shall get this baby out into the world.”
“God I cant do this, I am not ready for a baby.”
“Honey I am afraid you have no choice in the matter.”


Well isn’t she right there. The sooner this baby is out the sooner I can leave and go …erm well somewhere.



“Right Cade, it shouldn’t be long now before the baby comes, I need you to go and get me some water and a cloth so I can take a look at her bruises.”
“Bruises?” I asked.
“Yes, you look like crap, would you like a mirror?” said Cade.



Well isn’t he the charming one, I felt like crap too but I wasn’t going to admit that to him. How could someone so hot be such an ass?
Should I really be thinking about him like that when I am about to give birth? Nah who cares I am a red blooded woman.



“Why do you have one of my shirts on?” he asked annoyed.
“Well I couldn’t really give birth with a pair of jeans on now could I?”
“But you’ll get it all manky and ruin it

Well doesn’t he have a way with words?

“Cade?” interrupted the doctor, “go and get the water I asked for.”
“Ok, ok I am going; you wouldn’t believe this is my house would you? Is my bed going to be wrecked when she has finished with it?”
“Cade, shut up and do as your told.”

Ooo I like this woman



Well I think I will get off his precious bed, the sofa looks much more comfortable anyway, if there is such a thing as being comfortable in this state. I wonder why any sane woman goes through this more than once. Must need their heads read if you ask me.
 


“I found this old playpen thing in the attic; I thought it may come in handy. Would you like anything to eat?”
“No thanks, I don’t really feel in the mood for eating.”

Ok what did you do with Cade, because this isn’t the same man who went out to get water?



“This labour has been going on all night; do you think it will be over soon?” asked Cade.
“These things can take time, she is very tired now though so I hope it wont be much longer.”



Oh god this is it, I can feel it coming now. Maybe I can pass out and I won’t know what’s happening. How much pain do you have to be in before you do pass out? Ow ow ow, god someone make it stop.

It’s all very well them two stood there cheering, they’re not in agony.




Well that was fun, I must admit. Personally I would rather have gone and had my teeth pulled out. And twins? This is just too weird, someone could have told me I was having twins, or maybe they did, oh I don’t know. I just want to go to sleep now.

“You need to get some rest now.”
“Yeah, I am rather shattered.”



“And what am I supposed to do with this thing?” asked Cade in his normal manner.
“It’s a baby Cade, not a thing”
“Yeah yeah what ever, what do you want me to do with it?”
“You’re a grown man Cade you figure it out, I am going to bed.”
“It’s your baby and that’s my bed.”

Oh here we go toddler syndrome, here comes the stomping of the feet and screwing up of the face.

“Fine, I’ll go and get the other stuff out the attic. Make your self at home…..Oh sorry you already did.”

I wonder what he’s like when he is in a good mood.




“Right, she is settled in bed now, I am going to go. You have my number any problems just call or come and get me.”
“Your going?”
“Yes going. I’ll call back every morning and check on her and the babies.”




“Whoa there, every morning, you mean I have to put her up for more than today?”
“Oh Cade have a heart, I know you like your hermit style life, but she needs help and she landed on your doorstep so you need to help her.”
“Well I didn’t ask her to come. I don’t even know her name.”
“Neither does she, she can’t seem to remember anything.”
“She can remember her attitude alright.”
“And yours is any better?” Cade was actually speechless. “Right I am going.”



Well here goes, time to get grunted at. Let’s hope he doesn’t mind me watching his telly with him. I could sure eat something though. I wonder if it’s safe to ask.



Ok he’s going for the ignoring thing, that’s fine I don’t want to talk to you either.


“Right I have work to do, I will be out back if you need anything.”

Oh my god it spoke, I thought for a while there I had suddenly become invisible. At least if he isn’t here I can make my self at home properly. Just need to find his bathroom so I can have a bath.



I cant believe its morning nearly again, I wish I knew what day it was, my body clock seems to be shot to hell as well, I cant tell if its 5am or 9am.
I am so hungry, if I make Cade some breakfast, hopefully he won’t mind if I have some then.




No shirt, yum…stop it right now.

“Something smells good, and you appear to have clothes.”

Yes and you appear to be missing some of yours, not that I mind of course.
“Yeah Dr Thomas brought me them when she came to check on the babies. I made pancakes do you want some?”

Say yes, and don’t get dressed and so I can sit and eat while dreaming of eating you.
I must stop this, I wonder if it’s the hormones.




“The clothes suit you and your face looks to be getting better. Do you remember anything?”
“Nothing, I can’t even remember my name for god sake, and that’s really annoying.”
“You don’t remember who beat you up or how you got to my house?”
“All I remember is I was suddenly standing in some lane, which I followed and found your stable, it was raining and I needed somewhere to stay.”



“Maybe we could go to the hospital, see if there is anyone there that can help you.”
“Are you actually offering to do something for me?”
“Well I just thought that if you saw a professional you could get help to remember your life and go home.”
“Cheers for that you start of nice then throw in the real thoughts.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Its fine, you don’t want me here, its your house your pace I understand.”


“Look I’ll go if you want me to.”
“Yeah and where would you go? What’s your address?”

Well if I knew that then I wouldn’t be here would I?

“I can’t remember, I told you that I can’t remember anything before that night.”
“Do you remember your name?”
“No nothing.”
“Right well I need to call you something, lets pick a temporary name for you.”
“Ok”
“How about Tina? Shelly? Or maybe Sophie?”





I just looked at him

“Where on earth did you come up with those names?”
“Well they are the names of my…err”

If he says cows I swear I am going to hit him, though not in the face, too pretty. Maybe kick him in the shins.

“Go on”
“They are the names of my pigs.”
“Pigs!”





Pigs? Do I look like a pig? Well maybe at the moment because I look like crap but naming me after a pig.

“I’m sorry stupid idea, how about Mia?”
“And I would be named after?”
“My favourite TV character.”

Well at least that is better. Will check later to see whether she looks like a pig or a cow, mind you his favourite TV character could be a farm animal.







“Ok Mia it is then.”

“So….er do you have anyone special in your life?”
“Oh yeah, have you not seen her?”
“She’s here?”
“Yeah were else would she be?”
“What she called”
“Susie.”
“Oh and she doesn’t mind you having breakfast with a strange woman?”
“Well I wouldn’t have thought so as long as she gets any scraps that are left.”

Now I am confused.





“Scraps.”
“Yeah she loves to eat the scraps from the meals.”
“You feed your girlfriend scraps?”

God what kind of person am I staying with?
Cade started laughing at me.

I think he may have lost the plot now. Lets hope there is an escape door, because I think I may need it.

“What is so funny?”
“You think Susie is my girlfriend.”
“Well duh, you said she was the one that was special in your life.”
“Yeah she is, but she’s a dog, Ooo I don’t think I have laughed this hard in a long time.”

He’s laughing at me, I cant believe it. I have never met some one so insufferable as him, I have known him what 24 hours or so and already I could happily throttle him.

“Fine, laugh at me. I am going to my room.”
“You mean my room.”



Gggrrrr. Count to ten 1….2…..3.





Instead I stormed off outside. When I got on the porch and the air cleared my head, I couldn’t help my self. I started laughing as well.

How can one person make me so angry and have me laughing at the same time? Oh I hope my real life is a lot more normal than this, perhaps its just because he is like a Beverley hillbilly.


I kept out of Cades way for the rest of the day. He tried talking to me a couple of times but I just ignored him, it would probably only have ended up with him calling me some name.

He might have been a bit of an idiot, but his house was lovely. The view was great and I swear I could hear the ocean.

Maybe I am mad.
“Would you like a drink?”
“Huh?”
“A drink, you know the wet stuff that you put in a glass.”
Ha funny
“Erm, yes please.”
“What would you like?”
“What’s on offer?”
“Well I am having lemonade but I’ll make you whatever.”
“No lemonades fine with me.”

Wow he was nice to me, let’s hope this evening doesn’t turn into the recent insult and storm off.




“Here you go.”
“Thanks.”
 “How come I can here the sea?”
“Because it’s near here.”
“Oh, I assumed I was inland as it looks like you live in the country side.”
“No, this farm is great is a mixture of both worlds. Round here its all trees and fields, but just over that way is the sea. It has a great view at sunset. Maybe err…”
“Carry on” I said
“No, its ok stupid idea really.”
“Let me judge that.”
“I was just going to say, maybe you would like to come with me one evening and we could watch the sun set, it really is beautiful to watch.”
“I would like that very much.”
“Good, well it’s a date then…oops…… not a date an erm.”
“I know what you mean Cade.”




“Dr Thomas phoned before, she has set me up an appointment with a consultant at the hospital, she said she pulled a few strings and I can see him tomorrow.”
“Well that’s good isn’t it?”
“Yeah I suppose.”
“You suppose? Don’t you want to remember who you are?”
“Well yeah, I do. Its just that maybe there is a reason I have forgotten, maybe something bad happened.”
“Well you did look awful when I first met you.” He said

Cheers for that.
“I didn’t mean it like that what I meant was you were a mess.”

Would you like a spade to carry on digging your hole?
“I am not saying this very well am I?”

No he isn’t, but I will let that one pass, I did look like death and I probably still do to be honest.






“Well thanks for the beer Cade, I best be getting some sleep as those two in there will be awake soon.”
“Ok night Mia.”

I reached over and gave him a hug to say thank you. You would have thought the way he jumped that I had just tried to do something horrible.

“Sorry Cade, I think I over stepped the mark, I was just trying to say thanks.”
“Sorry I didn’t mean to jump. You startled me that’s all.”

You would think no one had ever hugged him before the way he just reacted. Either that or I did really look bad. Knowing Cade it was probably the latter.



I woke up with a start.

What’s that noise? Do I get up and go and check? Its probably just Cade.
No I can hear voices.

Quietly I crept out of bed and listened from the doorway

“She is my fiancé I suggest you get her out of bed farm boy.” Spat the voice.

Oh that didn’t sound nice.

“She is sleeping and isn’t very well, like I said give me your number and I will get her to call you in the morning.”
“If you do not let me in and get her I swear I will knock you into the middle of next week.”
“Listen idiot, get lost, your drunk, she’s asleep and I am not going to disturb her.”
“She is not your property.”
“Nope but she became my responsibility the minute you dumped her on my lane.”




Curiosity got the better of me; they were obviously talking about me.

“What’s going on here?” I asked.
“Its ok Mia, go back to bed, this thing was just leaving.”
“I was not and her name isn’t Mia, its Stacy.”
“You know me?”
“Yes I am your fiancé.”

Yeah right like I believe that, you’re ugly as sin. I may have lost my memory but I am not stupid. Surely my taste was never that bad. God what if the twins are his.

“Your name is Stacy and we are engaged, don’t tell me you don’t remember.”
“No I don’t and I really don’t believe you.”
“How can you say that, you love me, we are having a baby.” Said the man “Oh you have had it, where is my child?”

Oh god I hope this isn’t true. What ever was I thinking agreeing to marry this man and having his child? Maybe loosing my memory is part of the insanity I must be suffering from, because if I said yes to this man I defiantly must be mad.

“Why was I all beaten up then, if you know me?”
“Oh that, it was nothing we just had a little row.”
“Little row?” interrupted Cade, “you mean you beat a woman and a pregnant woman at that.”
“She is my woman I can do what I like”
“Well she isn’t anymore, now get lost jerk.”



Ooo this is a different side of Cade I am seeing.

“Make me leave.”
With that Cade leapt at the man and physically removed him from the property.



“Are you ok?” he asked

Yeah sure, considering that freak seems to think he owns me and claims to be my babies father.
“Yeah I am fine.”
“Is he really your fiancé?”
“I honestly don’t know, I don’t remember him, but if I am engaged where is my ring?”
“That is true.”

Why cant life be simple? Seeing Cade like that just does things to my stomach. He really does make my stomach flip with butterflies.  It’s always nice when a man sticks up for you, but it’s even better when it’s a gorgeous man sticking up for you.
Oh what is wrong with me, whenever something happens I resort to thinking how fit Cade is?



“Why are you staring at me?” asked Cade
“Staring?”
“Yeah, you were staring and grinning.”

Ah crap busted, how do I get out of this one without looking like an idiot.

“No reason I was just thinking that’s all.”

Please don’t ask me what about, I don’t want to embarrass my self tonight.

[flid]

“I think I will go back to bed now and get a bit more sleep before the babies wake up”

And before I say or do something stupid and embarrass the hell out of my self.

“Ok then well goodnight” said Cade



The next morning Cade was up before me, the twins were having a lie in which I was glad about. While I was sleeping to phone rang.

“Hello”
“Hey Cade, its Dr Thomas here, will you tell Mia that the consultant has had to cancel today. An appointment will be rearranged in a couple of days, family emergency I think he said.”
“Sure no probs, hey are you working today?”



“No I am not, but I sense I may be by the tone of your voice.”
“Well it’s just that Mia had a rough night last night and I want to take her and show her the beech, I was wondering if you fancied a spot of babysitting.”
“It’ll cost you.” Replied Dr Thomas
“How much?”
“A stocked fridge and plenty of coffee.” Laughed Dr Thomas. “What time do you want me round?”
“Now?”
“Ok see you in a few.”



“Hey sleepy head wake up” Called Cade through the door.
“What?”



“Hey sorry, I was just wondering if you fancied seeing that beech. Dr Thomas said she’ll baby sit and the consultant had to cancel, some emergency.”
“Erm”



There I go again with that erm, every time I am around him I can’t talk, he must think I am a right idiot. But he’s inviting me to the beech a chance to see him in just shorts and all wet, how can I say no to that?

“Is that yes or no.”
“It’s a yes.”
“great go get your swim gear and off we go, I hear Dr Thomas pulling up outside.”





“Wow this place looks great.”

And deserted, promising.

“Its nice here, no one comes to this part as its well hidden.”
“Oh trying to get me alone are we?”
“No why would I want to do that?”


Gee sorry I asked.



“Come on get your swimming stuff on, the water looks great.”
“Ok, but turn around, I am not getting undressed in front of you.”
“You gave birth in front of me what’s worse than that?”

Charming

“Just turn around.”



“Race you too the water.”
“Nah your fitter than me, you’ll easy win.”
“Chicken.”
“I am not a chicken!”

What is it with this guy and calling me farm animals, I am going to get a complexion soon.

I looked at him cheekily.
“Go!”
“You cheat.”

We ran down the beech and straight into the water, of course he beat me, but it was still fun to see the shock on his face.



“Cheat”
“Yeah? Well take that” I said as I splashed water at him
“Oh your gonna get it now”
“You have to catch me first.”



I swam out, he was right behind me.

I never even thought what if I cant swim? Ok I am in deep water now is not the time to try and remember if I can swim or not. Ooo he’s getting closer, best get out and run.


“Ha ha catch me now slow catch.”



I better run I know for sure he is a faster runner than me, then again why am I trying to get away I want him to catch me then….. no I’ll stop there,




“Gotcha”
“Cade stop it, I am ticklish.”
“Oh I’ll have to remember that.”



He is even better looking when he is all sun kissed and wet.

“I think its time we headed home now, its been a great day.”
“It has, thank you Cade for a great time.”
Do I hug him to say thanks or will he freak again? Nah just go for it, any excuse to touch him.



“Thanks again Cade.”
“Don’t mention it, it has been fun, I haven’t laughed so much in ages.”



He’s right there; I could just lean over and kiss him, would he push me away? Sometimes I think he likes and others I cant work him out. I can feel his breath on my face, it wouldn’t take much just to close that gap betweens us, but what if he pushes me away? What will I do then? God its awful wanting someone.

[oddball011]

OMG!!!!!!! AM IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE WITH THIS STORY!!!!!!!!

[flid]

“Do you know, now that all the bruises have gone, you have a really pretty face. All those freckles.”
“Oh my god did you just give me a compliment?” I asked shocked.
“Could have been worse, I could have said spots.”

Thanks, and there goes my moment.


It wasn’t a long way from Cade’s house, just a quick drive down the road, but while we were driving I realised something and I needed to talk to Cade about it.

I don’t know why Cade’s input on it is important, but it just seems like he is part of my life now. I will have to talk to him later. Maybe I could discuss it with Dr Thomas, yes that’s what I’ll do.


“You guys have a good time?” she asked.
“Yeah it was good, that beach is beautiful, and the scenery was so nice to look at.”

I doubt she realises when I meant scenery I don’t mean the sand and the water, more the eye candy that was with me. Stop it; you have important things to do.

“Dr Thomas.”
“Please call me Suzy”
“Sorry, Suzy is there any chance me and you could have a private word about the babies?”
“Yes of course. Now?”
“Please if you don’t mind.”
“Hey don’t mind me, I’ll just go and get a shower and wash all this sea and sand off.” Said Cade.



“How do I say this?”
“Just spit it our Mia, that’s the best way when you don’t know what to say. In anything if you hesitate you miss the moment and then kick your self for it later.”


Well that’s the truth; I will defiantly be kicking my self later over missing the thing on the beach.

“Well, it’s just that…….. I can’t cope with the babies, I haven’t bonded with them and it’s not fair on them.”
“That’s quite normal after birth, all mothers feel a bit apprehensive after giving birth.”
“No it’s not that, I mean I love them and everything, but it isn’t fair on them. I want to get them adopted.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive, I was thinking about it in bed and then today when we went out it was so nice to be free.”

Don’t I sound like mother of the year?


“What about the father?”
“I met him last night and I wouldn’t give him a rat to look after, god knows what I was thinking.”
“I think you should wait till you have seen the consultant, if you get your memory back you may want them.”
“I suppose, but that means looking after them for a week or so.”



“There is one thing you could do.”
“Yeah what’s that?”
“Well Cade has a sister and she can’t have kids, but she does help out a lot with the local children, you know looking after them if there is some family emergency etc.”
“Oh?”
“You will have to ask Cade to ask her, but I am sure it won’t be a problem.”
“Would you ask him?”
“His wont bite you know.”

You sure about that?


“Honestly, plus he’ll do it for you.”
“Eh, I don’t follow.”
“Oh come on Mia, I have seen the way he looks at you, no one has ever managed to get Cade to look at them like that in a long time and believe me girls have tried.”
“Why?”

Please don’t tell me he’s gay, such a waste.

“Well he hasn’t looked at any woman like that since…er.”
I looked at her to carry on.
“It isn’t my place to say, you’ll have to ask him”

Oh nice one. Gives me half a story. Talk about leaving me on a cliff-hanger.

“I have said to much, its time for me to go, but just think abut it Mia. Why would any bloke as good looking as Cade hide himself away on a farm?”

Well now I am puzzled talk about cryptic clues.

[oddball011]

um flid  I have a confession to make
I uh............ went to ur website last night and read the whole story.
AND IT ROCKED!
Wasnt to fond of the ending tho

[flid]

god that must have taken you hours lol. Did you read the epilogue too?

[oddball011]

actually it took me all night lol , yes i did and after reading it I understoods morgans story ALOT better
(I never imagined Morgan to have been a chubby kid lol)

[Elven_Song]

You mean this whole story is up on your site already?!? 0-o Where!? I must see it!!

[flid]

Yeah its here

[oddball011]

good luck Elven its LONG , but completely worth it

[flid]

“Suzy before you go can I ask you another favour?” called Cade as he came running out of the bathroom.
“More babysitting”
“Yeah, how do you know?”
“Hhhmmm let me see; the I’m creeping look on your face.”


“Baby-sit? Why do you want her to baby-sit?”
“Shhhh”


He told me to ssshhh. He is arranging a babysitter for my kids won’t tell me why and then tells me to ssshhh, the cheek.


“Course I will, not doing anything else, but what about your sister, I am sure she would be better with them,”
“That’s a thought, it’s not really fair to ask you twice in one day. You ok for a sec while I call her?”
“Yeah of course.”



Cade went over to the phone and Suzy pulled me closer.

“Now are you telling me he doesn’t like you?”
“Yeah well we are becoming friends so I hope he likes me.”
“Oh you know what I mean, and which kind of like I mean too.”

I blushed

Yes I know or should I say hope its that kind of like.

“It’ll be great if Jackie can baby-sit then you’ll get to meet her, she is lovely, believe me, almost as lovely as her brother.”
“I hope so.”




“She says no problem, she’s coming over now.”
“great can you tell me where we are going?”
“For food, that’s all I am saying, but you need your swimming costume again.”

Ok swimming and food sounds weird, but sure I’ll go for it.


“I shall pick you up on the porch at 7?”
“Sure 7 it is.”

Is this a date? Or is it just tea and a swim? God he’s so quiet about everything.
Right bath and get ready.



As I finished getting ready someone knocked on the bedroom door.
“Come in, it’s open.”
“Hi you must be Mia; I’m Jackie Cade’s sister.”
“Hi”
“Oh and they must be the twins, what are they called?”
“I don’t know” I replied sheepishly. “I haven’t named them yet.”

What did I say to that, I sound like a horrible mother.
“Hey don’t worry about it; I believe Cade is waiting for you on the porch.”
“He is?”
“Yeah, now get going I am sure us three will have a great evening.”



“You look great, you ready?”


“Well hope you have you swim stuff”
“Why do I need my swim stuff?”
“That the beauty of this restaurant, you have to swim to your diner.”


Oh my god he isnt kidding, I don’t know whether this is weird or cool. Oh well here goes.


“I hope your hungry.” Said Cade
“hungry, I am starving, you have had me swimming all day.”
“Yes well the view is nice.”

AH! Did he just wink at me? Did he mean what I think he meant? I swear I am just reading into things to much.


We were seated at an outside table, the view was brilliant, it over look the pool.
“Order what ever you like.” Said Cade. “I am paying.”

Well I cant pay anyway can I, I have that small problem of not knowing anything which means I don’t know how to get my money. But I wont tell him that.


“This place is nice Cade, strange but nice.”
“It is isn’t it. I have only ever come here alone, I like the view and the quiet.”
“It’s a great view.”
“It sure is.” He grinned.

Is he flirting with me?


Before we got any further the waiter interrupted and brought us our food.

God always a reason for me not to try and take it further. Well tonight I am not going to miss my opportunity.


We chatted about anything and everything. Cade trying to tell me about various movies and books to see if any of them rang a bell. It was like I was seeing everything again for the first time. All these things he told me about I may have already don’t them my self, but I just have no memory of it.


“Do you fancy a walk?” he asked
“Yeah sure, it’s a nice evening., and I want to talk to you about something.”
“Oh I hate it when people say that, its always bad news.”


“hey there’s a spa here, fancy joining me?” asked Cade
“You knew that was here all along.”
“No I didn’t.”
“You said u have been here before.”

Gotcha.


“Cade can I talk to you know?”
“Of course you can?”
“Well I talked this over with Suzy. I have decided to give the babies up for adoption; it’s just not fair on them.”
“Wow I didn’t expect that.”
“She said your sister looks after kids, and that maybe they could go to her.”
“I’ll have to ask her, but I am sure she will. But it won’t be permanent.”
“No I know, but Suzy didn’t want me to rush into sending them away and thoughts it s best if they went to Jackie while I sorted myself out.”



Oh god not now, I cant believe I am going to cry.

Cade saw my eyes well up and pulled me over to him..
“Mia, don’t cry, it will all work out ok.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t help it.”

Where did these tears come from, I didn’t expect to start to cry…great right at a good place where we could have flirted. Trust me to get into a heavy conversation and ruin it.


“Mia, I am here for you.”


God that face that gorgeous face is just millimetres away this is it, I am going to do it. I am going to kiss him, please don’t push me away.



Yes, yes, yes. God i am turning into Meg Ryan
I moved in and finally closed that gap. Cade didn’t push me away as I feared. He kissed me back. He was so soft and gentle an he smelt so good. My stomach flipped.


Oh no, don’t don’t pull away
“I’m sorry Cade I didn’t mean….”
“Ssshhh, you don’t need to be sorry.”


“I just wanted to look at you.”
“Cade?”
“Ssshhh.”


It happened so fast one minute he was looking at me, the next he was there, kissing me properly. Kissing me so hard that I thought I would drown right there in his arms. Shivers ran through me, as he pushed me back into the water.


Finally.

[flid]

Wow, that was amazing. I finally got him. My stomach feels all warm inside, I feel like I am floating. God I hope this night never ends. His arms around me are so strong and warm I could stay here forever.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to take advantage of you while you were upset.”
“Cade, shut up.”

He can take advantage of me anytime he wants.

“Unfortunately princess we have to head home now.”

Ah well, home has a bedroom doesn’t it?

“That’s not a problem I am sure we can resume this at home.” I said smiling cheekily at him.
“Hmmm”


I tried again and gave him a hug.

“I had a great evening, thank you.”
“Yeah it was alright.”

All right? Is that it?
Oh dear that doesn’t sound good


We drove home in silence, I didn’t know what to say after that remark or lack of.


When we got back the Jackie was feeding the twins. She looked so good with them. It was defiantly the right decision for her to take them, she was a natural.

Mind you any one is a natural compared to me.
“Can I talk to you?” asked Cade to Jackie.
“Yeah sure.”

Jackie handed me the twin and they went off for a chat.





Talk about making it obvious that I wasn’t to be part of it.
An hour ago he was all over me and now he is as cold as the weather. Just great.

They came back in and Jackie dragged me into the bedroom.
“Cade told me about the twins and Dr Thomas’s idea.” She began
“Yes?”
“Well I would love to look after them for you. Cade said you were struggling to cope.”
“Well I am a bit, what else did he say.”
“Oh nothing much just that you were a bit upset this evening.”

I didn’t know whether I was pleased or not that he hadn’t said, I mean you don’t want someone to kiss and tell, but it would be nice if he showed some excitement about what just happened.



The next day Jackie came to collect the twins, as bad as it sounded I didn’t feel like I would miss them. Maybe it was because I wouldn’t let my self, or maybe I was just a selfish cow who didn’t deserve them.

Probably the cow bit, I mean there must be a reason why Cade calls me after farm animals.






With the twins gone and nothing else to do, I took the chance to relax in the garden. I had no idea where Cade was, I just assumed he was working. It didn’t take me long how ever to fall asleep in the sun.



“Are you planning on wearing any clothes today.” Said Cade, waking me up.
“Sorry? What did you say?”
“I said are you going to wear any clothes today, seems you are sat out side half naked.”



That’s it I am sick of this nice one minute and complete pig the next.

“Cade stop this, you have been like this since last night. I mean it was ok for me to be naked last night out side at that restaurant and now in private I can’t sunbath?”
“last night was a mistake.”
“A mistake?”
“Yes, it shouldn’t have happened, look its my fault, I am sorry. I took advantage while you were upset and I shouldn’t have.”
“I could have said no.”
“Well the ifs and buts don’t matter, it isn’t a mistake I plan on repeating.”

What do I say to that, why doesn’t he just beat me with a stick? It would be a lot nicer.


“Fine.”
With that I stormed off.

[flid]

“Cade please talk to me.” I pleaded.
“I cant it’s to hard.”
“Well the way you’re treating me is hard, one minute you’re all over me and the next your really cold. It’s not fair on me.”
“I know it isn’t, I am an idiot. I just never thought I would fall In love again and so fast.”


“It’s ok to love someone after you have fallen out of love with someone else you know.”
“It’s not that.”
“Well then what is it.”


Cade put his arms around me.
“I do love you, but I can’t be unfaithful.”
“Unfaithful?”
“I am married Mia.”

OMG I didn’t expect that when I asked him ages ago about someone special he just said his dog. Married? Where is he hiding her?


“You’re married?”
“Yes married.”

Oh god, what do I do now? What do I say?

“Do you love her?”
“Yes”

Ouch that hurt.


“Ok well then I think we should end this.”
“Its not that easy, I don’t love her like I love you, I thought I really loved her but then you came into my life and this is different, I have never felt like this before and I feel so guilty.”
“But Cade if you’re married then we can’t go on, there is no future.”


Why did that idiot have to drop me on Cades doorstep, if he hadn’t done that I wouldn’t be here feeling like this.

“You don’t get it though, I need to explain.”

I was angry now.

How could he do this?


“Explain what? That there is this woman, who has a ring on her finger which you put there when you promised to love and honour her?”
“Mia, please.”
“Please what? Let you have a relationship with me while you wife where ever she is has you cheating on her?”


Cade tried to pull me to him, but I didn’t want him to, ok well I did, but it wasn’t right.

“So where is your wife.”
“In the hospital.”

Oh well this gets better and better, he isn’t just cheating on his wife he is cheating on his sick wife.

“Why is she in hospital?”
“Come with me and I’ll show you.”
“Show me?”
“Yes please just follow me.”


Cade led me out to the bottom of the garden; hiding behind the trees was a tiny grave.

Oh God


“Whose is this grave Cade?”
“It’s my daughters, our daughters.”
“Oh Cade I am so sorry.”
“Jenny left my life right at the same point you entered it, at the birth of a child, which is why it is so hard.”

I feel horrible now


“What happened to your wife, Jenny?”
“Our daughter was still born. Jenny said she needed to go out side and get some air. She ran straight out in front of a car.”
“Cade”
“Its ok, she is permanently brain damaged now, for some reason her body wont die, I know that sounds mean, but it would be better for her and me if she did. I am kind of stuck in limbo at the moment.”


I didn’t know what else to do; I just put my arms around him.

“But that’s the problem, for so song I have wanted her to die and thought that I loved her. Then you come into my life and this love is all new, it’s not like before, and I feel so guilty.”
“Cade I am sure she would want you to have a life you know.”
“I know she would, but her family wouldn’t, they act like she is ok and will walk through the door any minute. They would see this as cheating on her.”



“But if she is basically gone, she is really all ready dead; it’s just her shell that needs to catch up.”
“But what about you, what about when you get your memory back, you’ll remember your life and wont want me.”
“I don’t want my memory back.”
“Yes you do, what if you have a family looking for you, surely you want to see them.”


We stood in silence for a while, me just holding him; he seemed to get his emotions under control right in front of me.


He never said a word; he just leaned in and kissed me. Firm but slowly his mouth explored mine and I felt the butterflies in my stomach come alive.


Tasting the salty tears on his lips I pulled him in closer. He lifted me into his arms and carried me back into the house. Laying me on the bed, he gently made love to me.


Afterwards I fell to sleep in his arms, we hadn’t spoken a word since being out side, but we didn’t need to. Words I think would have spoiled the moment.

When morning came and finally woke me up I just lay there looking at him, he seemed to be smiling. I hoped the dreams that danced behind those eyes were about us.

He opened his eyes and smiled, as if he knew that I had been watching and waiting.
“Morning beautiful”
I couldn’t help it, I smiled. “Morning Cade.”


“Would you like breakfast?” asked Cade.
“Yes I’ll get it if you like.”
“Nope, you go and get dressed, I’ll cook. Take it as a kind of apology.”


Cade got up and went into the kitchen. I rolled over onto his side of the bed; it was warm and smelt of him. Heaving my self up with a sigh I went to the bathroom for a shower.

He seems in a good mood today; let’s just hope that it stays this way. I don’t want to have to leave.


When I came out of the bedroom and went into the lounge, Cade was talking on the phone.


“All right I’ll tell her.” Replied Cade into the phone.
“Who was that?”
“That was Doctor Thomas; you have an appointment at 11 with the consultant.”

“Oh right, well I better eat up”
“Would you like me to come with you?”
“Would you?”
“Of course I would. I love you remember.”

“No I don’t. Tell me again”
“Ha ha ha very funny. I love you.”


We ate our breakfast fairly quickly and I was glad Cade had offered to come with me. I was slightly nervous about seeing the consultant, want if I never got my memory back, or what if I did. I didn’t know which one was for the best.

If I get my memory back will I remember that I love that other guy and not love Cade? Will the reason I lost my memory be something I don’t want to know?

Arriving at the hospital my nervousness jumped up a scale.
“You’ll be fine” said Cade obviously noticing my apprehension.
“I hope so.”


We sat in the waiting room and I couldn’t keep still, I just wanted to go home, be it my home or Cades home, but I certainly didn’t want to be here.

“Miss Harris” called the receptionist. I didn’t realise that she was calling me until Cade stood up.
“Sorry I gave you my surname seems I don’t know what yours is.”

It’s the silly things that we take for granted isn’t it.


After going through a rather uncomfortable few minutes having a brain scan the consultant called us back.

“Well” he began.

Oh dear that doesn’t sound good.
“It appears that you have no permanent damage to your head, though it does look like you have taken a beating to it recently.”
“Will that have caused it?”
“Nope, I think what has happened is that your brain has decided to shut something out and unfortunately it shut everything else out up until that point. That is why you’re not having a problem making new memories, just a problem remembering old ones.”
“Is there anything that can be done?” asked Cade.


“Normally these things fix them selves. Mia should start getting flash backs or dreams or things she doesn’t know. This is sort of her memory waking up.”
“Oh that doesn’t sound nice.”
“It isn’t too bad, just a little daunting that’s all.”
“Ok well thank you for seeing me so soon.”
“Not a problem, and if you need to ask anything just call me, but I would like to see you again in a month just to see how you are progressing.”
“Oh ok thank you.”



“That wasn’t so bad was it?”
“No it wasn’t” I laughed all embarrassed about how nervous I had got.
“As a treat for my brave girl, lets go out and get some lunch, what do you say?”
“You’re paying?”
“Of course.”
“Well then let’s go.”


Cade took me to a lovely little café in the country, it was beautiful.
“Order anything you like, because we won’t have time to eat when we get home.”
“Ooo can’t wait.”
“You’re excited.”
“Maybe”
“About mucking out the horses with me?” Cade said smiling cheekily.

“I’m joking, how about rolling around in the hay?”
“That’s better.”


“Do you have any memory flash backs like the consultant said?”
“Nope I do have dreams though; I have no idea what they are though. In them there is some one out to get me and I have found out and I am running.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know it usually ends as he catches me.”
“Do you not see his face at all?”
“No nothing he is just like a big black shadow.”
“Hhhmmm”
“Can we change the subject, I don’t like that dream for some reason it really scares me.”
“Ok baby anything you want.”


“Which hospital is your wife in?”
“The one we were just at.”
“Really?” I was shocked, not shocked that she was there but shocked that he didn’t go and see her.
“Yeah, just in a ward not far from there.”
“Did you not want to see her?”
“I don’t go anymore, it became to upsetting.”
“Oh sorry didn’t mean to pry.”
“Its ok, I get upset because I want her to die, I want her to be free, she is just stuck there, and no one should have to spend their life like that.”

“She has had so much pain, its time she let go, but she keeps fighting.”
“Maybe she doesn’t want to let go, not really. I know you said she ran in front of a car, but that was just from loosing her daughter. Maybe she wants to live.”


“I honestly don’t know Mia, and if she did ever recover what would happen?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well I would have to choose between you and her.”

Suddenly my appetite has gone.


“Oh I see.”
“No Mia don’t be like that. I don’t love her like that. I love you, it would be you I would want, but could I live with the guilt. She would wake up and it would be hey glad you’re awake, but the marriage is over.”
“Oh”
“You’re the one I want to wake up with everyday? You’re the one I want to be with. Until you came into my life I though that was it. I would die alone and lonely, but you came to me and changed all that and I feel like I am flying. Until”
“Until?”
“Until the guilt drops me back down like a bag of sand.”


“Lets not worry about the what ifs then, lets just concentrate on the here and now.”
“I’ll toast to that.” Replied Cade.


“Stacy!” Called an elderly woman.
“Erm I think that woman is talking to you.” Said Cade as the woman approached.
I got up out of my chair and she threw her arms around me.
“My darling your ok.”
“Er who are you.”
“I am your mother silly girl.”
“Mother?”


“Oh this is worse than I thought.”
“Jeremy!” she called.
“Yes dear. I found Stacy, here she is look.”
“Excuse me” interrupted Cade. “I don’t think Mia knows who you are.”
“Mia? Who is Mia, this is my daughter silly boy, her name is Stacy and I have come to take her home.”
“I have a home”
“Oh yes the farm. Told us all about that place. Your coming home with us were you can get some proper medical attention. And is waiting for you.”


The woman sort of half pulled and half dragged me out to the car.
“Where are you taking me?” “Home dear now don’t fight.”
“From out of no where a nurse came up and stabbed me in the arm”

What the heee

I passed out.


The door opened.
“Hello darling. Nice to see your awake.” Said as he tried to kiss me.
“Don’t, I don’t know you.”
“Oh come on your not still singing that are you?”
“Anyway diner is ready.”
“I don’t want any thank you.”


The nurse from earlier appeared at my door.
“Now girly we aren’t going to have trouble are we?”
“I’d come to diner if I was you.” Said.

Oh great choose between eating with a load of strangers or this woman. I think diner, and I was a little hungry, in fact not just a little, I was starving.


The people who claimed they were my parents were sat at the table.
“Please Stacy do sit down.”

“Now what are we going to do with you?”

Well you could always let me go I suppose.

“I don’t even know you.”
“Yes well that will be sorted tomorrow our doctor has had a look over what that country quack did.”
“What did he say?”
“Nothing much except that your memory will eventually return and just to wait.”
“So what you’re going to keep me captive here till it does.”
“Captive, Stacy you make us sound like criminals.”


“I have to get back to my children.”
“Oh yes he twins, well we had a talk to Mr Harris and his sister.”
“You spoke to Cade”
“Yes, the twins are now in a foster home awaiting adoption, we knew you would give them up eventually all those fights we had about you wanting to keep the children.”
“Fights?”
“Never mind dear its all in the past.”
“How could you put them up for adoption?”


“Well is their father so he could legally sign the forms as you have been deemed mentally disabled.”

Mentally disabled. I’ll make them mentally disabled if they carry on.

“And what about Cade and his sister?”
“Well Mr Harris turned up here a few days ago. Dreadful scene really. We simply explained to him that you were with your family and that you didn’t want to see him again.”

Oh no.


“A few days ago?”
“Yes you have been here nearly a week Stacy.”
“Stop calling me Stacy, my name is Mia”
“Now don’t be silly, you’re our Stacy.”
“That’s it.”

I stood up quickly angry and ready to storm to my room when the nurse with the magic needle got me again. And off I went to sleep again.

[hotrod50s]

ok i too admit i just had to see the site brillant is the only word i can think of.incredible story extremely well done and omg cliffhangers beyond believe lol i got impatien and had to finsih started from this point and finished took me almost 8 hours