The FinalistLife took on a surreal quality in the couple weeks following Ellie’s successful audition.
There had been a family party of course…Sam and her family had been over for a somewhat chilly but fun all the same, last barbecue of the year on a mellow autumn evening…
Ellie let herself be carried by the events that followed. There in their lovely new home with her doting Dad and siblings, new loyal best friend and a huge adventure unfolding before her, what else was there to do but enjoy the ride?
So much was happening on a daily basis it was impossible to really mull over anything too much.
It wasn’t till she sat drinking coffee at a ridiculously early hour one Saturday morning that things began to dawn on her fully.
About the third cup along, Ellie’s father poured one for him-self and joined her.
“Morning Love” He said sleepily, feeling concerned as Ellie sat staring into the opposite wall.
“Couldn’t sleep eh? “ Red added… Ellie blinked and smiled over at him, looking pale.
“Oh hey Dad sorry…was miles away”
Red sipped his coffee thoughtfully. “Things are moving pretty fast for you, how are you feeling about tonight?”
Ellie went a little paler…”Um Ok I think…I’m glad you are all coming to drop me off…I packed last night…I could have stayed in bed but…”
Her voice tailed off, she had been awake most of the night, Noosh slept peacefully across the room they shared. All sounds seemed magnified, the alarm clock ticking…wind in the tree branches outside…even the sound of the foxes crying out in the woods ..
She had showered and tried to force down breakfast but felt so sick with nerves the smell of the food made her retch.
That day she was to appear in the first Star Factor live show as one of a dozen finalists. 12 acts that made it through the qualifying stages to fight it out in the last few weeks live on TV to the nation every Saturday.
Ellie had been enjoying the relative safety in numbers up till this point…but attention was now going to be firmly on the final few…she felt out of her depth and scared to let her family down.
“I see “said Red, he was worried for her, she was pushing hard..And he wasn’t absolutely sure why she was doing it any more. Now the scale of it all was hitting home, he wondered if it was really what she wanted, or what she thought was expected of her.
“Ellie……If you want out…we will be here for you, absolutely no-one will think less of you for quitting today….you don’t have to justify it to anyone…you know that kiddo?”
Ellie sipped the last of her coffee,
“I know Dad, I am scared…but a part of me needs to see it through…I can’t explain why…just like something is compelling me to do it anyway…”
“Sounds like the De’Vill in you” Red smiled and finished his drink.
“You miss Sam too I know, she’s been a terrific mate for you…she’s a good kid” he added.
Ellie’s dearest friend and self proclaimed stylist had been ordered to go on some course for new techniques by the salon boss. Ellie missed her enthusiasm and confidence, not to mention her fashion advice…but they were calling each other and sending loads of texts…Ellie was grateful that Sam and her Dad were there for her as much as they could be.
Ellie got up from the table to fetch yet more coffee.
“Why don’t you try and eat something now, all that coffee is going to make you feel ten times worse….and then I want you to have a nice soak in the bath and have a nap before we get going..We have a couple hours before we have to start driving up there…..Dad’s orders OK?” Red insisted.
Ellie grinned, “Still going on that date with Molly later in the week then Dad?”
Red flushed a little…”Hey you cheeky sod. I would hardly call some new age support group a date…..”
Ellie chuckled for the first time in what seemed ages ..”Sure Dad, whatever you say”
On the way through to the bathroom, Noosh was busy at the piano already, trying to turn one of her poems into a song with Rhys’s help. Her younger brother stopped her….Ellie braced herself for a load of cheek as usual, but Rhys looked serious for once.
“Hey Elle’s Belles…I just wanted to say…”
Ellie turned to face him… “What? “
Rhys almost looked like he was about to cry…”It’s like….I know I am an arse…..and ..you know you’re annoying like…you’re always on at me about stuff……but “he faltered a bit.
“Ok” said Ellie patiently, bracing herself for some sort of sudden typical Rhys wind-up.
He threw his arms round her and squeezed her tightly.
“I do appreciate what you do…and I know…without you Dad wouldn’t be here…or any of us…and if anyone should win and be a rich bitch diva it’s you…..”
Ellie squished him back, chuckling …”Thank you…I love you too you little snotface….anyway….” She felt tears pricking her eyes…
Ellie turned and disappeared into the bathroom feeling tearful but a little stronger.
