Is It A Miracle?updated chapter 1, 2 and 3

[satsoveranddone]

dear diary

my name is sarah jane honeywell


i left collage with $20,000. i know your thinking you can get anything you want with it but i bought a house what was $7,000 and i had $13,000 left to make it the way i want it this is my new house for now


in collage i wanted to get a job in fame when i was an adult and that was what i did i start tomorow at 10 to 3 the pay is only $75 for now because im only at the bottom of the job.

for dinner i decided to have a lunch meat sandwhich


then take a nap for a while


well good night for now since its 12:00

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please tell me what you think because this is my first sim story with pictures :-P

[satsoveranddone]

please comment

[xHannaHx]

it's a start but if you want an opinion..this is just to make it better. not to be rude or to hurt your feelings

1. try to get close up shots. i can barely see some of those photos
2. keep walls up and plumbobs hidden. they're a real hassel. plus, does your real wall go half up and half down? lol..
3. get bigger photos. this can be done with the camera options. image quality high. photo size large.
4. try messing around with blurr or affects
5. and lastly, make updates a little longer. have more of a plot. this was the beginning but it needs to grab someone's attention

like i said. this was just constructive criticism. i don't want to make you angry. i just want to help you make your stories better..i don't write stories, i jsut read them, but most of the better stories have what i just mentioned

[mintcookies123]

Besides what xHannaHx said, remember to check your capitalization, usage of words, and punctuation. Also, you need a well thought out plot. Before writing any story, you need to sit down and plan out the story; who are the characters and what are they like? What is the setting of this story? What is the theme of this story? Where do you want this story to go?

Some other comments I have are why is there a baby's room when there is no baby or partner? A lot of things in your story so far doesn't make much sense. Also, try to leave out unecessary comments or try to broaden out comments. Like for the lunch, you could have either left out that part or added something else to it like maybe Sarah had lunch with a cute guy from the welcome wagon or something like that. Just try to play it up a bit.

Finally, try to put up the graphics card to your computer's highest ability. The pictures in a sim story is a huge factor in whether someone wants to read it or not. I understand that not everyone can play with amazing graphics but try to take pictures at the highest setting possible. Believe me, I played TS2 with a horrible graphics card that made everything muddy ever since it came out in '04 until recently when I bought a new computer with a great graphics card, so I know how it feels to have bad graphics. This is all in constructive critisism and I really hope I didn't hurt your feelings.

[satsoveranddone]

ok ill keep that in mind when i update today

[satsoveranddone]

look i know people are watching so can you plz comment instead of just reading it cause i need to know if you guys want a update

[~Bejeweled~]

i think you could get a great story out of this and if you just follow what the others have said you will definetely get something cool.i would like to see an update.

[satsoveranddone]

ok im just getting the pics

[satsoveranddone]

i cant update for a while cause im in so many contests but hopefully i will be able to soon

[satsoveranddone]

this story is moving to the sims 2 community so can someone delete this please and look over at the sims 2 community and leave a comment

[xHannaHx]

why are you moving it? jw..

[satsoveranddone]

you can read it here and read it at the sims2community but i need 5 comments between each update or i will delete it

chapter1 a new baby?

Is It A Miricale? Chapter1

Hello everyone
Have i mentioened that im 9 months pregnant have i?
oh no here comes the pain!
i had a cute baby boy what i named Aaron, he has my eyes and nose and has his daddy's hair and mouth. we look so cute toghter dont we?. hes been a nuisance and its 7:00pm and he wont go to sleep im so tired

10 mins later
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finally hes a sleep. doesn't he look cute when hes a sleep?...

well now i can have some me time i like sitting on a towel in the gardern reading a book or thinking or looking at the clouds well im going to have some spagetti before i go to bed
10 mins later
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yum yum that was realy good
whats the time now
(looks at the clock)
oh my its 11:00pm im very tried well see you in the morning goodnight
i hope i will be hearing from you


sorry its so small just i was writing this in the dark leave comments

EDIT
err im sorry but there can be no more pictures on this story cause my sims 2 crashed and the camera wont work on sims 2 sorry

[xHannaHx]

that's really good. it would be better with pics. but i like picturing things in my head. maybe use those as keys and add to them. make them more long. maybe with some interesting details. because each sentence i'm picturing something different. it's very good though. keep it up

[satsoveranddone]

errrr il will get pics and put them up ill edit my story part 2 and put pics in

[satsoveranddone]

chapter 2
11 month later
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hey everyone
im glad Aaron is sleeping so i can have some cereal in peace for once, its his birthday today hes going ot be 2 years old and a toddler, at his play day center thing he's got loads of friends so im inviting them down and their parents to celebrate his birthday
i cant belive he's years old already it seems like he was only born yesterday. im getting him a big choclate cake with red icing(his favourite colour is red) any way at 9:00 am im going to wake him up thats in a hour im going to get a shower and get dressed in my best clothes
10 mins later
___________

im ready time to wake Aaron up
Aaron darling wake up: i said
lets get you in the bath then ready then you have some cereal ok darling
yes mummy

20 mins later
it's now 9:30

the guests are coming now
time for you to grow up and become a toddler
mummy look at me im all grown up into a toddler
you want cake now its your favourite choclate with red icining

5 mins later
--------------
can i open my presants now mummy?
go on then....
yay a big toy motherbike what i can ride in
a toy computer
a baby book
a scooter
a building set full with
a jacket
a torch
and loads of other building stuff

5 mins later
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bye guests and thanks for coming
come on time for bath spagetti and bed for you Aaron

15 mis later
---------
bed now Aaron
goodnight Aaron
goodnight, mummy..
(Aaron snores gently)

i will have some more spagetti then clean the dishes up)
oh i forgot how much i love spagetti
i think i might go out tommorow oh well
goodnight everyone



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sorry there is no pictures