:smile:My little girl loves, loves kitties I wrote this little story for her. It's a short I might add more later not sure.
Oh! Hello! I am Mitzi. I am a little busy right now to chat with you but...hmmm...oh well OK, I see you are bored and need to know my story. I don't blame you really. I am very important in this neighborhood. Some might say I am full of myself. They just don't know how much I have to do to keep chaos from breaking out at all times.
It is a lot to expect from a little alpha feline but alas somebody has to be in charge and I am the best qualified to lead these poor inferior creatures, although God knows I have tried to teach them and make them independent.
I have to patrol the front yard fountain, you can stay if you are quiet. You see that fountain? Flying mice like to land on it and wash their rears and poop in it. I have just about had it with their presents in my water bowl. So I try each morning to catch them in the act.
You know I share this home with others. There are two human females. I have done my best to train them properly since adopting them. But as of yet they have not learned how to hunt and stalk prey.
It is not my fault, I have tried. I brought them birds, mice, and small lizards but they have yet to bring home any live prey to share with me.
This is human Rose. She is fast becoming feeble. I sit on her lap and try to keep her brittle bones warm. Her energy is weak and depressed. Her mate died a few months ago. Since then I have had to work hard to keep up her spirits.
I have never had a mate. It's something I have been thinking about a lot lately. I must pick a Tom to sire me some kittens. But how can I concentrate on my love life with all these helpless apendages I call a family? I need to figure that out.
This is my human Emily. She has moved back into the house since Rose's mate died. As a teen I kept her balanced while she was and in and out of heat. Aparently no human Tom was suitable to sire her some good human kittens. It's a shame really. I will have to help her find a suitable human Tom soon before she becomes too old to come into heat.
I am proud of the job I am doing with my human family. I have done the best I can to keep them from falling apart. They would surely die without me, of that I am certain. Although I have failed at teaching them how to hunt they do bring me food from a box. It is not as delicious as live prey but it is edible. My human Rose goes hunting far away to capture these boxes of dried mouse and while it's barely edible I am proud of her for her effort.
My humans are so gratefull they have an image of me in the food room which they rub daily for good luck. I don't quite understand what luck has to do with it when I am holding them together but alas....humans be so naive sometimes.
I guess what really pisses me off is after all my effort to teach them how to hunt live prey and eat their tasty inards the feeble confused human Rose brought home two perfect meals and proceeded to spend all her time feeding, playing and mothering them!
I can't really talk about it too much because it just turns my stomach. Here is the first one. His name is Crackers. He is an old deformed crow that Rose brought home and stuck into a wire litterbox. At first I thought she was going to eat him when she was alone perhaps while I was busy elsewhere in the house. But no every day she feeds him and spends hours and I mean hours talking and carrying him around on her shoulder.
This deformed crow has made a total fool of Rose and mimicks her ramblings all day long. I can't hardly stand it. I would eat him except he has a mutation that gives him a razor sharp beak that really could damage my eyes or something. I try to steer clear of him and only speak to him to tell him he is an ugly freak that is imprisoned in a smelly metal litterbox. He is quite haughty for a bird and gives me no respect.
Just when I thought that things couldn't get any worse human Emily brought home a mouse and did the same thing! She spends hours kissing and cuddling it! I just don't get it.
Every day I smell this mouse on her and I run to it's glass box and it's still there! I don't know what she is waiting for to eat it. If she doesn't eat it soon I will have to. I know playing with your food is good training but this is getting ridiculous!
Something is not right with my human family. I can't quite figure it out yet. Human Emily was yowling on the Hello? for a long time this morning. When she finished yowling she was sad and worried.
Later, she and human Rose sat on the couch and shared this troubling energy and talked for a long time. I think our family is in some sort of trouble. It smells like human trouble.
I decided to investigate. The human Rose was crying and talking about how now that the business was in trouble there would be no money coming in. Silly Rose I know money is a human toy a sort of cat nip that makes humans do many stupid things. Aparently my humans had developed some sort of addiction to this money and now that the business was in trouble there would be no more cat nip money for my humans.
This was serious. I would have intervene. I knew perfectly well human Rose and human Emily would not be able to get over their depraved lust for this money thing. This money was an evil thing. I would never allow my kittens once I had them to ever even sniff it!
I walked up to my simple, poor addicted humans, I felt so much sadness in my heart. After all my lessons I was losing them to this great evil. What could I do?
I walked up to my human Emily I tried to reason with her. "Emily there is still time for you! I will help you find a human Tom who may take you even tho you are past your heat cycle!" I pleaded with her to no avail.
It was no use she was too wrapped up in her withdrawl from this money nip. Just as I was about to leave to think this out clearly, Crackers that filthy crow squawked at me loudly and startled the heck out of me.
"You don't know much about the human world do you?" he said in his usual condecending demonic voice.
"I know everything about these human kittens I have cared for them all my life!" I said trying to sound convincing.
"Humans use money to obtain everything. It is NOT catnip or an herb it is what they use to get what they need. They don't have the ability to gather food or hunt it. They have lost that a long time ago. They exchange this money with trained experts who do it for them." he said patiently.
"I knew that!" I lied. How could this freakishly deformed crow know more about humans than me? Now I was worried.
"If the humans do not learn how to get this money from the dead ones business I'm afraid they will lose everything and our family will be in a lot of trouble." he said quietly.
I went into the food room to think and to well groom up a little too. I had to help straighten this mess out. My own cushy lifestyle depended on it. If there was no box food, I would have to hunt for my kittens instead of nursing them comfortably from my cushy bed. This money crap was ruining my own plans for a comfortable delivery and mothering of kittens once I found the right Tom.
It was going to be up to me to fix this my biological time clock was ticking and I wanted all things in place once my kittens were on their way.
That evening, My humans wanted to go out in the car. Usually going in the car makes me sick and vomit but I thought it would help human Rose and Emily to go out and forget for awhile. I would do my best to help them keep up their spirits.
On the way out I noticed Scout. He is a mangy mutt that is always looking for scraps. Human Rose feeds him every night and now we cannot get rid of him.
I told him to get lost as usual but.....human Rose ran back in the house to leave him some scraps. It really pissed me off after all my work with her that she would do that. Scout is getting way too comfortable here I put it to the back of my mind as I have enough to worry about.
We finally took off in the "car thing". I only threw up once. I wasn't sure where we were going but we arrived at a small shop and human Emily had the key and opened the door.
Human Emily and human Rose played all night with flowers. It was certainly strange behavior allright.
It suddenly dawned on me that we were in a shop and this might be the dead guys business that was in trouble. Or at least thats what Crackers had commented. Hmm....Good this would keep human Emily and human Rose busy fixing the "business" so there would be money for the kittens to come.
There was a quiet back room in the shop and the place was soon full of humans. At first I wasn't sure what was going on but as more of them came I felt the worry and sadness leave human Emily and Rose. It was replaced by excitement and happy feelings.
I had saved them again.
I went into that quiet back room and took a well deserved nap. I only slept for about sixteen hours. When human Emily came in the backroom and turned on the lights.
"Let's go Mitzy we have made enough money for now" she said with a big smile.
Thank God I'm exausted. On the trip back I threw up twice a kitty can only take so much of taking care of everybody! Now to find a gorgeous hunkyTomcat....
