The Diary Of Someone You Don't Care About But You Still Decided To Read This Anyway
sofia97733:
And so now I'm engaged to an alien. God, this is an old diary. It's even got 10-year-old pretzels in the binding from back when I got it wedged between the footrest and the seat of that recliner. I ate one of them out yesterday. I threw up into a bottle of shampoo which just happened to be on my lap for no reason. After that I switched it with Linda's. She still hasn't noticed that she has partly-digested rotting pretzels on her head. I laughed. Hard.
lulzitsmichy:
i have that hair and your girl looks scary!! when will gramma retard come back in the story??
sofia97733:
Crap, I'm ruining the quality of this story. My friend wanted me to make them graduate, so I did.
Today was the worst day of my life.
I'd been married to that alien-dude for a month and then, he just died.
He had told me earlier that day, "I sit outside now, is being okay?" I replied, "Watch out, I've heard the pollination-tech aliens have started to kill anyone who strays away from the home planet. If you see them, run, okay?"
Excuse the plumbbob, I was lazy.
I saw something take him from the sky. Instead of dumping him back dead, the UFO flew back and dumped nothing out, but I swear I saw a thin outline of someone...
I tried to calm myself. It was impossible. Pleasantview had absolutely no laws protecting aliens. In fact, the town had a few laws against them. If they died, big deal. It was just rotten luck. I began to think about that faint outline. What if, just what if, he had been returned in spirit to Earth? I thought. Sometimes I could just see him wandering around, even in a couple hours since his kidnapping. I could see him trying to return to normal.
I could hear him trying to live the life that ended 60 years too soon.
I was afraid.
To Michele, I'm sorry, but Gramma Retard has lived her life too long and is now dead. Dead dead dead. Well, not really, but 15 years is probably too much for someone with such a great age and with an IQ as low as hers.
sofia97733:
After a couple months of being sad I got over it. And now I like pudding. I really like pudding. I really, really looooove pudding. Pudding with cheese, I love my pudding with cheese.
puddddddddddddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
sofia97733:
I eventually had a son. Pudding. I called him Taylor. Pudding.
I also lost my fondness of pudding after eating 1,337 cups of it.
Then, I saw Taylor floating near the refrigerator. I then saw Posessed Alien Ghost Dude carrying him. Yes. He was actually there. Not haunting, exactly, but helping. This made me happy.
Taylor did not look much like an alien. But he was still half alien. So now this is weird, I'm living with an alien ghost. However, he helps out a lot. I hope he stays here.
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