Xenophobia: Pride & Prejudice - Chapter Twenty-four
Sam the T-man:
Aaaaw, thanks guys! :) Wow, where do I start...
@Astral: Yes, Buzz will have a very hard time of it - not saying any more for now, let's just say I have plans ;) Glad you like what I did with Lilith :D You're very right, society doesn't like "minority groups" such as gays - my other stories were a tad too utopian on that front, about time I "got real" on that and glad I'm getting across the kind of problems they really would face. Also happy to get such a good response to that jack-in-the-box piece at the start - haven't written that way for a while, so I'm pleased with the way it turned out :) Glad you like my plantsim skin :D
@matt: I'm actually pretty sound in myself right now, but I have suffered long-term depression before, and I still remain prone to mood swings. Not having one at the moment, but what I have been through I draw on when I write - it all makes for a great outlet. I also have a naturally empathetic character, so I find it easy to jump into people's (or character's) heads, even if I'm not going through what I write about. Anyway though, glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks for your lovely comments guys :D
AxelVal:
Uhhh...let's see *reads again*
Gone are the cries and the tears, they merely build inside. Those from my inner self reverberate around the metal walls, distorting and becoming rage, hatred, aggression, electrifying the container and hurting all who touch it.
The what from inside? Cries and tears?
“Yep,” Ripp replied, continuing to air-drum and catching Johnny with a stray swing of his arm.
“Hey!” Johnny nudged teasingly, “Do I look like a drum kit?!”
Ripp wore a cheeky grin at his complaint, responding by flicking his wrists in a drum roll as he turned to face him, bopping his blond mop with a pretend drumstick. Smiling knowingly, Johnny replied by clutching his fingers.
Just two lines ago Johnny was drumming now Ripp is.
Then 'bops the blond mop' confused me while I was asleep. I thought it said Ripp tossed his head or something.
“Not this time it seems,” their friend confirmed, scanning the other seats in the car. “Definitely Ripp, I see his big brother… who’s just sat there watchin’ it goin’ on?!”
The wording at the end confuses me. Is he saying Tank is sitting there watching or asking who is because he can't see Ophelia?
“No,” Ripp grinned as he leaned his head back to address him, propping his head on Johnny’s shoulder. “That’s the whole point.”
This part just confused me at first. I was too tired to realize what was going on for a while. *laugh*
Whoooo. Got it all.
It makes more sense now that I'm slightly awake though.
Sam the T-man:
LOL Got it all? Are you sure? ;) Damn, you got me confused now :lol: Just in case though, let's see...
Quote from: AxelVal;1168420
Gone are the cries and the tears, they merely build inside. Those from my inner self reverberate around the metal walls, distorting and becoming rage, hatred, aggression, electrifying the container and hurting all who touch it.
The what from inside? Cries and tears?
Did you find the bit before, talking about "snapping the lid shut on his fingers and causing him to wince in pain"? The cries and tears are referring to that pain. As in, all that happens now is a wince, the tears are now being bottled inside. That could have probably been worded better, come to think.
“Yep,” Ripp replied, continuing to air-drum and catching Johnny with a stray swing of his arm.
“Hey!” Johnny nudged teasingly, “Do I look like a drum kit?!”
Ripp wore a cheeky grin at his complaint, responding by flicking his wrists in a drum roll as he turned to face him, bopping his blond mop with a pretend drumstick. Smiling knowingly, Johnny replied by clutching his fingers.
Just two lines ago Johnny was drumming now Ripp is.
Then 'bops the blond mop' confused me while I was asleep. I thought it said Ripp tossed his head or something.
Um, no, Johnny is a guitarist, not a drummer. I never said he was drumming - he laughed at Ripp when he waved at his Dad, and then Ripp started drumming on his legs. I probably took for granted that previous chapters explained their choice of instruments (like Ripp's first air-drumming session) - was that bad? Or was it just my choice of wording? :? Ripp then went on to "use Johnny as a drumkit" in response to his complaining about it, 'cause Ripp's a clown ;)
“Not this time it seems,” their friend confirmed, scanning the other seats in the car. “Definitely Ripp, I see his big brother… who’s just sat there watchin’ it goin’ on?!”
The wording at the end confuses me. Is he saying Tank is sitting there watching or asking who is because he can't see Ophelia?
No, he's saying Tank's watching, and understandably maybe, he's surprised that he's doing so.
“No,” Ripp grinned as he leaned his head back to address him, propping his head on Johnny’s shoulder. “That’s the whole point.”
This part just confused me at first. I was too tired to realize what was going on for a while. *laugh*
Now I'm confused :laughing: You got it? Or would you rather elaborate so I can explain?
It's one of those times when I know what's going on in my head, but struggle to convey that to the readers. Apologies for the resulting confusion :?
CynaraBlade:
Now that was a magnificent update. I would have posted sooner but I had to go clean my chair after reading it!!! LOL!
steelguy:
Gee. The kids from pleasantview are really wrongly named.
Unpleasantview? Jerkview? WTFview?
Seriously though, was Ophelia actually sitting next to Ripp and Johnny during that PDA? Because that would be highly uncomfortable, I'd think. Just space-wise. How big is that car anyway? Is it a special alien car with huuuuge back seats?
Wait. It's set in America. Of course it is.
I'm rambling. Sorry. Carry on. :worship:
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